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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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DARTH FOXTROT IS GAY
Mwahahaha!
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:06, 13 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Morning
I went to Woolsthorpe Manor (the bithplace and home of Isaac Newton) then had lunch at Stoke Rochford.

First roast dinner for ages, and it knocked us out. There was also, large amounts of pork.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:15, Reply)
I've decided the world would be a better place if everyone had access to huge reserves of barbeque sauce.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:34, Reply)
That should be on the Lib Dem manifesto.
It could start a sauce war between the parties, with Labour offering tax breaks when you buy Tomato Ketchup, and the conservatives going for gentleman's relish.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:45, Reply)
Good match-up there.
UKIP: Tartare sauce
BNP: Hellman's Mayonnaise
Monster Raving Looney Party: Reggae Reggae Sauce
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:50, Reply)
This made me do a LOL

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:00, Reply)

LOL little wee
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:04, Reply)
I always do a little wee when I LOL

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:07, Reply)
You need to keep up the pelvic floor exercises.
Tip of the day for all leaky women.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:10, Reply)
how dare you slight mayonnaise like that!

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:05, Reply)
It was a tough call
but it was the whitest sauce I could think of.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:07, Reply)
What about White Sauce?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:09, Reply)
OMG, owned.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:13, Reply)
Silly sausage#

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:14, Reply)
Gotta be English mustard with sausages.
Haha, I missed that for UKIP too.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:16, Reply)
Shopping!
Best of all the ladylike pastimes.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:17, Reply)
Shopping for boys?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:18, Reply)
Alas no!
Holiday clothing.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:23, Reply)
Going abroad to catch the eye of some poor waiter?
Shirley Valentine.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:27, Reply)
That was on the tv last night.
Didn't get to watch it all as I was too tired.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:29, Reply)
My GP is the twin of Tom Conti.
Except my GP is a git, and Tom isn't.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:32, Reply)
And did you manage to fob off your sex mad girlfriend?
She should look for a younger guy like I am.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:34, Reply)
There was no need to fob her off
We had normal relations, thank you.
I am the younger guy btw.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:40, Reply)
I see!
You're a grannygrabber : )
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:46, Reply)
I'm glad her son hasn't had kids yet, otherwise I would be.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:47, Reply)
I went to that Cambridge
He took me pubbing and fooding and punting, and the weather was perfect.
It appears to be Monday and I appear to be back to reality.
Not good.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:46, Reply)
He's a proper gentleman that djtrialprice
I bet he doffed his titfer when he met you at the omnibus station.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:50, Reply)
If the little sod had arrived at the omnibus station on time
He may well have doffed his titfer.
As it happened he left it in the pub.
That'll learn him.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:53, Reply)
Aw! sounds lovely.
The only thing making my Monday bearable is the fact I have Biscuit in the office with me.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:50, Reply)
*waves*
Hiya Biscuit you cheeky chops!
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:54, Reply)
Double daughter visits - woo hoo!
Pizzas and fun in the park Saturday, Vietnamese lunch yesterday. magnificent! Mentalex behaved impeccably apart from when Saturday's visit ended in acrimony when I (loudly, and I confess, rather rudely) dismissed gambling when you haven't got the money to happily lose it as 'completely retarded') following her mother calling up about the Grand fucking National. The grotty old peasant. She reminds me of a Greek Pat Butcher.

Also saw my dear brother for a few pints on Friday night before he went to some ghastly 'alternative circus' nonsense in Camden. That was ace - and not just for the fact that I got a carrier bag of records out of the experience, including Kenneth Williams' 'Rambling Sid Rumpo' LP.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:57, Reply)
Total win of a weekend!

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 8:59, Reply)
Quite so.
Glad yours was too, unpunctuality aside.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:07, Reply)
You know me
I have to have something to moan about!
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:09, Reply)
Likewise.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:12, Reply)
Same here.
But I'm not in a whingey mood today.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:13, Reply)
Yesterday I spent ages trying to clean the scratches out of Fallout 3
and ended up taking it to Blockbuster for them to fix it. They said they didn't think it had worked so they didn't charge me, but it did, so yay for free stuff. Sticking it to the man £2 at a time, that's me.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:07, Reply)
Well bloody done!

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:08, Reply)
Best Game EVAH!
I got the Broken Steel add on for my birthday. I spent quite a lot of time playing it this weekend.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:09, Reply)
I can't bring myself to be evil yet
I haven't got very far, due to all the scratch-removing fannying around, but so far I've only been mean to someone once and it got me beaten up.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:34, Reply)
I played that to death.
When I came out of the final bunker the huge mutant with the minigun was waiting for me. We teamed-up and completed all the side-missions like some kind of post-apocalyptic Ant and Dec.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:09, Reply)
This deserves a significant number of clicks.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:15, Reply)
This time next year, Kitty, you'll be a millionaire
If you do this half a million times.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:10, Reply)
haha
I'm on it
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:33, Reply)
Morning all
I headed to Bristol for a wedding, but was only actually out of Glasgow for about 25 hours. The result of this is that I'm now knackered. Wedding was ace though. Staff at the reception venue kept giving us dirty looks when we were playing in the evening, especially when one of them nearly got kicked by someone. Take that posh restaurant staff.

Also, it's incredibly sunny here this morning. How nice.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:09, Reply)
Mornin
BASH! You just got ker-powed by ceilidh!
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:11, Reply)
Damn straight
I just stood smiling inanely at the guy while he scowled at me as he walked past. It was glorious. Not as glorious as if he'd been kicked though.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:14, Reply)
I went to a poetry night.
It was 4 hours long, and the compare hit on me.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:10, Reply)
Was the compere female?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:10, Reply)
Why don't you both 'Go Compare'
different spellings of 'compere' ;)
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:12, Reply)
An advertising reference and some pedantry.
very impressive
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:16, Reply)
Not bad for a Monday morning really

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:17, Reply)
Yes, she was artsy though.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:12, Reply)
I take it you refuted her advances then?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:15, Reply)
Even worse
he tried his best moves and she thought better of it.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:16, Reply)
I didn't really notice until someone mentioned it to me.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:16, Reply)
I thought she was just being nosey.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:19, Reply)
I do this.
The signals have to be significantly more blatant than simple flirting else I just don't notice.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:21, Reply)
I usually need someone to click their fingers in my face and say
"I'm flirting with you by the way"
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:23, Reply)
I just think people are being friendly until they have their tongue down my throat.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:27, Reply)
even then
I assume they are just humouring me
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:25, Reply)
That's almost a haiku in itself.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:12, Reply)

on
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:16, Reply)
Well so far this morning I've played with a puppy and ordered some bras off the internet.
I think I better get some work done soon.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:10, Reply)
Sweet, I needed a parachute
*runs*
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:11, Reply)
Not bad thank you
Met up with 3 b3tans on friday, after everyone had dropped out. We had a nice drink, and a good laugh. Ended up going out in Macc afterwards, and was bundled into a taxi at about 3. Was great!

Saturday was chilled, met for an afternoon pint with my mate at 7. Left the pub at 11 feeling suitably lubricated, headed home and had a few cans with friends, while watching a film.

Yesterday I spent most of the day in bed, the rest of the day on the couch. I also decided to work out whether or not to get a hair cut, am still not sure.

Best part of the weekend? My ex-housemate's family have a Grand National tradition, where they each choose two horses, and put £1 on each of them. This year the youngest (6) scraped together his pocket money, and put some money on one horse to win, and one each way. He picked the winner, and the horse that came second. £19.25 from £1.50. Genius.

Worst part - Discovering that my ex-housemate is deleting pretty much everyone off Facebook from when he lived in Cheshire, as if he's just trying to forget it happened. Also discovering he's having to sell his stuff just to get some money, and already wants out of his Mum's house. Frankly, he's dug his own grave, he can lay in it.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:11, Reply)
Is your ex-housemate a Time Lord?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:15, Reply)
Brilliant
Or, he could be The Inquisitor from Red Dwarf.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:18, Reply)
What?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:26, Reply)
In yesterdays episode of Dr Who,
the Doctor deleted all his friends off facebook.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:27, Reply)
This IS a joke, right?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:50, Reply)
*nods slowly*

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)
Then I don't get it I'm afraid (yours, not Chompy's)

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)
AA's post initially didn't contain the words 'off Facebook'.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:32, Reply)
You can't use ding
I'm outraged
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:24, Reply)
You can't be that outraged.
You haven't used capital letters.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:28, Reply)
It's too early to start shoulting
I'm still tired from an epic drinking session on Saturday
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:30, Reply)
Me too
were you there? I must have been drunk.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:31, Reply)
No, although you could have been useful

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:32, Reply)
Did you need someone to say drunkenly innapropriate things
and then spend the whole of Sunday wondering whether or not he really upset someone?
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:35, Reply)
Did you upset them?
I bet you did you terrible cunt, yuo
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:41, Reply)
Also to properly demonstrate your
INCREDIBLY DISGUST

You need to use

a lot

of

LINE BREAKS MUTHA FUCKA
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:30, Reply)
But they make chompy cry
and then she ruins her make up
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:32, Reply)
I'm not crying, I've just been chopping onions.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:34, Reply)
At 930am?
I have onions in my tuna salad I am going to spell lovely later
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:46, Reply)
You always spell lovely.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)
spell lovely?
oh the irony.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)
I HATE YOU ALL

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:49, Reply)
:(

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)
Apart from you
I love you
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:57, Reply)
YAY!
I love you too.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:02, Reply)
Yay
Lets; run away to Cornwall together
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:10, Reply)
MORNING!

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)
Hello Monty
Are you going to be a cunt too?
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:57, Reply)
Will the Pope be shitting in the woods?
I think so.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:03, Reply)

*Pope emerges sheepishly from behind trees, hitching up cassock and holding a shit-smeared Hitler Youth armband*
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)
Actually no, I shall be nice today.
I just wanted you to know that whenever you commit a 'smelling' gaffe I am there, watching you...

Did you have a nice weekend?
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)
Haha nice one.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)
'ere, I've been using ding for ages!
But I use it like carriage return when a thread is falling off the page.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:33, Reply)
You little trend setter you.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:35, Reply)
I juss want ma props, Beege!

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:37, Reply)
There are a lot of
"ding dong the witch is dead" references on b3ta.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:41, Reply)
Wicked ol witch?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:42, Reply)
What's all this talk of B69 fighting on the internets?
did the drama llama come to town and I missed it?
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:41, Reply)
I read it last night
There was merdeh!
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:43, Reply)
Where did it go?
Did he delete it?
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)
No it's still there
about four or five threads down.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:46, Reply)
oh I forgot I've got him on ignore, that's why
belm
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)
It's here:
People get angry about stuff, online. Other people are cocks, online.

I'm sad to say I did end up contributing.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)
He moaned that the 183 people who died in the Polish air crash had ruined his holiday
in the same way my Haitian holiday was ruined by the gits not building their hotels properly.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:43, Reply)
was he drunk?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)
God knows I only flicked through it this morning

There is a fine line on B3ta between sick humour and just sick and many people think that he crossed it
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:46, Reply)
I'm not sure anyone REALLY thinks he crossed anything
or whether they just think he's a knob
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)
I think he crossed it

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)
Yeah but you're the Mary Whitehouse of B3ta

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:50, Reply)
He is an alcoholic.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)
I can't get the blame for that one.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:44, Reply)
Crashing the plane?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)
No the fog
he went to Russian and guffed violently near the airport.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)
I don't miss the drama on here.
I have enough IRL.

Btw - The Greek financial woes better not mess up my holiday.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:44, Reply)
Irish Rum Lollies?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:46, Reply)
"In real life"
are you new to the internet?
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:49, Reply)
Taking the internet seriously here

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:50, Reply)
I think the standard reply to that is "THIS IS B3TA" followed by something racist.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)
You filthy spaniard

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)
I don't know which is a better way to find arguments
b3ta.com/search/posts?q=%22this+is+b3ta%22
or
www.b3ta.com/search/posts?q=%22you+on+ignore%22
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)
Connery you Spanish Peacock!

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)
Magic

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:28, Reply)
no
I knew what it meant.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:50, Reply)
everyone's forgotten about mouseover text already.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)
I did some last night
And someone unexpectedly actually noticed it.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:54, Reply)
hard to spot if browsing by phone
since my work strangely takes issue with me spending all day on internet forums...
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:04, Reply)
that's because
i am awesome
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:24, Reply)
No but I'm clinging on to real life by the skin of my teeth.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)
The greeks really have no-one but themselves to blame
if they actually tried paying to taxes to a government rather than insisting on everything being paid in cash and not giving receipts then they wouldn't have such a fucked up system.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)
It wasn't really fighting
it was someone trolling us for trolling B69. Apparently. Although there is some confusion as to whether or not anyone was actually trolling, or whether trolling was used as an excuse to justify either MOCK OUTRAGE, or possible genuine annoyance ONLINE.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)
Were you involed?
As soon as you become involved in anything it gets classed as trolling
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)
Well, there's your answer then

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)
I think you were wrong, though.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:11, Reply)
I'm OUTRAGED ONLINE
Which bit was wrong?
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:13, Reply)
I don't see the difference between making little of their deaths and the deaths of others.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:16, Reply)
So, I'm wrong for suggesting that it's okay to be upset about these people
but not about Jade Goody?

That's a perfectly logical argument and I can't see a flaw in it. To be honest, that whole thread got blown way out of proportion, RadG was pretty much correct in his summation, but his execution of his argument which then descended into "I'm not actually outraged I'm just trolling outraged people" was a bit utterly ridiculous.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:20, Reply)
Oh I'm totally not against the the trolling of B69. I enjoyed that bigly.
I just think we should laugh at all deaths equally.
And RadG was too smug. Even Vipros would have shaken his head.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:24, Reply)
Yeah, we should
but as RadG pointed out, it's a great excuse to put the boot in.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:26, Reply)
B69 should have learnt that his opinions are delicious troll food

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)
I love it when people tell me I'm better than them because I have a higher post count.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)
When has that ever happened?
Edit: On and by that logic I am 3000 more betters than you
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)
Noel's better than me because he has a higher calorie count

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)
does he have nutritional guidance
printed on his person?
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)
Never mind the quality, feel the width.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:05, Reply)
Never, and yes you are.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:50, Reply)
I wasted my weekend
lying around watching football and going to a late showing of 'Until the Light Takes Us' which was full of weirdoes.
Oh, and eating lovely curry.
And getting drunk-texted by Al.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:50, Reply)
I enjoyed my drunk texting.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:51, Reply)
So did I.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)
No one texted me :(
I watched MotoGP yesterday and remembered why it is a bazillion times better than F1
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:02, Reply)
Any Landanars in?

In which case I thoroughly recommend Holy Cow curry, it is ace.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)
I went into my local on Thursday night and they had Tribute on tap.
Coincidence? Of course! Have you worn a badge to work yet?
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)
First day back today!
Too sleepy to have remembered - I will wear one tomorrow.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:02, Reply)
Did chcb get her 'I love someone with autism' badge?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:03, Reply)
I meant to give it Mel, actually.
But Lusty got the 'don't stare' one and wore it on the train home.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)
Nice one!
I think Mel probably deserves it more.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)
went to a beach with a nice young man
and saw a lizard that wasn't a trouser lizard.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:22, Reply)
Beaches and men are two of my favorite things.
But not lizards.
(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:29, Reply)
it was pretty friendly

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Not even trouser lizards?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:30, Reply)
I prefer trouser snakes.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:31, Reply)
if they have legs, it does make it freaky

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:32, Reply)
Do double-amputees turn you on?

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:36, Reply)
only penises with arms cut off

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:40, Reply)
That's well sexist that is.

(, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 10:47, Reply)

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