You can tell it's going to be one of those days
when even Amazon.co.uk think you're a massive shirter.

I've just received one of those "Mr Crow: there are HUGE SAVINGS to be made" emails (read: "Mr Crow: you're not buying ANYWHERE NEAR ENOUGH STUFF FROM US...") from them...

...and amongst the plethora of crap they want me to purchase, they have recommended the DVD of the first series of Glee.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:10, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I hate the use of the word
'gleeks' for fans of Glee. It makes me effervesce with rage.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Please, please tell me you just made that up.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:13, Reply)

No I did not
I've seen it on the internets and in one of those girly magazines.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:19, Reply)

great, now I have Duran Duran in my head
Moooontyyyyyyy! *shakes fist*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:21, Reply)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:25, Reply)

On the main board a few years ago I said "i'll get you Butler" to someone
turned out her surname really was Butler.

What are the chances, huh?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:29, Reply)

How we laughed
as I was carted off by the police for making threats to kill and intimidation.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:31, Reply)

She did suddenly disappear from B3ta after years of constant posting
but yew cant prove nuffink
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Haha BEN-DERRRRRR

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:13, Reply)

*cries into pillow*
*bites pillow*
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I'd just like to clear up something,
watching a TV show, wearing certain clothes or listening to certain music doesn't make you gay. Being gay makes you gay.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:14, Reply)

You make women gay.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:15, Reply)

ha!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I just ruin them for other men.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I'm not sure you've user "other" correctly there,
what with being a ladygirl yourself and all.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Here, have a Kleenex
And yes, I am aware of this. I am merely playing to the stereotype that most men who like musicals also like to penetrate the posteriors of their fellow man. But you already knew that.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Friend of Dorothy.
Is the best euphemism ever.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:20, Reply)

'Good with colours'
is my favourite.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Many years ago I was asked by a chap in a pub if I was a friend of Dorothy.
I genuinely had no idea what he was talking about and replied "I only know Dorothy _____, she's more my sister's friend though"
He was mortified and couldn't get away quickly enough, apologising as he went.

It is remarkable how innocent/ignorant those who were raised pre-internet, with conservative parents were.

My girlfriend wants me to visit a place called Clitoris (or summat like that) but the sat-nav doesn't recognise the name so I'll have to get round looking on the internet to see if I can find whereabouts it is.
(Cave Duck, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Ha, Caveduck can't find the clitoris

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I didn't even know it was lost.

Besides, I was exaggerating for "comic" purposes - I haven't really got a sat-nav.
(Cave Duck, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:57, Reply)

It's probably hiding behind an overgrown bush.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 15 Apr 2010, 12:03, Reply)

haha

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I just got another one from DJTees.com:
'Hi there t-shirters!

I'm back to tell you about a great new offer from DJTEES.

From today, if you BUY 3 or MORE ITEMS, you'll get 20% OFF your order total. But it doesn't stop there!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:14, Reply)

t-shirters?
Is that a collective of gay Yorkshiremen?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I hope not, otherwise that's a double mortal insult, right there

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Where does it stop?

When for the love of christ will it end?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Whoops
I was once recommended a soft porn DVD called "Double D Housewife" and the front cover was a naked middle aged woman bent over a kitchen table.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I bet they felt silly when they realised you already had it

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:20, Reply)

As far as i'm concerned
it's not porn unless it has a donkey and/or midgets in it.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:22, Reply)

if you watch to the end
you'll find both. But you've never got that far have you?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Nope, by then i've finished and i'm sitting in a rapidly cooling pool of self disgust

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:31, Reply)

we've all been there.
at some point today.
(wiggy5 3 goats and a midget, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:45, Reply)

I had barely gotten in the door from my interview
and already I had received an e-mail rejecting me from the job. I think my time in the interview may have been better spent by jumping onto the table, dropping my pants to my ankles and masturbating furiously while singing ABBA.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Did they promise to keep your application on file for future roles?
because it's all lies...LIES!!!!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Well
they are trying to encourage me to apply for other roles within the company. Gawd I wasted 6 horus of travel each way and 2 days off work for this bullcrap. I need a jetliner. FAST!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:24, Reply)

horus?
The ancient Egyptian god of the sky?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:37, Reply)

He'll do

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:39, Reply)

you should email them back and tell them you're bringing the wrath of Horus on their heads

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:43, Reply)

*high fives*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:40, Reply)

*smugs*

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:42, Reply)

ABBA Shabba
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:27, Reply)

aww that's way harsh

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I like
the way they try and recommend to me stuff I ordered from them 6 months ago
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Was it a book on 'Me and My Alzheimers'?

( thealternativefact, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 12:44, Reply)