I've given up.
It's my sister's 16th birthday in a week and I have no idea what to get her. She said what I got her last year was the best present she's ever had, so it's going to be stupidly hard to outdo myself. Any general ideas? Nothing horrible please, she's not at all like me.

In other news, I went to see the Circus of Horrors on Monday, it was disgustingly fantastic, all standing on swords and poking giant hatpins through skin. You lot would have loved it, especially the part where a guy got electrocuted and fluorescent lightbulb shoved up his arse. It lit up and everything. What has disgusted yet entertained you recently?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 11:45, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Get her a massive Dildo
since she's not a raging cock hound like you.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 11:48, Reply)

When I say she's nothing like me,
She's really nothing like me. Actually sweet and innocent rather than just deceptively looking it like me.

Some guy told me last week while drunk that the first time he met me, he thought I was very angelic and virginal. Oh how I laughed.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Did you laugh so hard you choked ...




...


on his cock?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Good answer
I can not think of anything to top that.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I would have done,
If he'd had his way and I hadn't been so drunk that I insisted on going to sleep.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 11:56, Reply)

When you were asleep
he totally opened your mouth and put his willy in it.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 11:58, Reply)

put his willy in it wanked into it.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:00, Reply)

mouth every orifice
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:00, Reply)

He passed out in my bed, and snored like a fucking pig
So I slept in the common room. And took great pleasure in kicking him out at half seven the next day.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:00, Reply)

You should have had a good wank and stuck your sticky fingers up his nose.
That would have driven him mental, wondering........
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Did you at least show him your foo foo?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:05, Reply)

No.
I didn't like him.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Oh no, my chances of seeing your tits at donington have just taken a serious nose dive then.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Get her something that complements last year's present and makes it even more awesome.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:06, Reply)

You should definitely buck the trend
Meaning that from next year, your presents can get steadily better again. To this end, punch her in the ovaries, and push her off her chair. Next year, just not punching her will seem like an awesome present.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Strikethrough + replacement = hilarity.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Get her this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO2OocOVcJo
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:57, Reply)

A funny hat,
everyone loves funny hats.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I don't.
They never fit me.
( girlinthehole, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 13:13, Reply)

I'm looking for a nice cloche hat
Pass it on
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 13:48, Reply)

I used to have a cream knitted cloche hat with a knitted flower at the side.
This was before my head grew so large that no hats will fit it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 13:52, Reply)

My head's too small
I'm also considering a beaded cap
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 13:55, Reply)

www.ambersattic.com/10993.html

www.chemochicks.com/shop_cloche.htm
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 29 Apr 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I like the beaded one.
I still prefer cloche for a hat though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Other than "Awesome"
What did you get her last year?
(JohntheDane, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)