Morning everyone
Today I've been mostly laughing at facebook.

www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001050977415#!/event.php?eid=117900091562964&ref=mfwall

and this
www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001050977415#!/pages/even-tho-u-stabbed-ma-nan-ur-still-da-1-4-me/119093601436097

I love facebook, why don't you all tell me why it's shit?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 9:56, 108 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't get all this Kate stuff
Is it a wind up or is she that stupid?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 9:59, Reply)

She left her party invite open,
I think 4chan found it and said they were attending now 15000 people are down to attend and she got scared.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Actually it looks like it is a joke.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Isn't it the work of David "Payment Spider" Thorne?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:27, Reply)

the original was fake too and was removed when it hit 180,000
4chan got hold of it and put out her address etc but they didn't know it was all a hoax by David Thorne of 27bslash6.com He's now admitted the whole thing.
( Peej, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I love Badger's fake profile
Facebook eats my life and soul.

So does this place to be honest :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:03, Reply)

the second group
I assume must be a joke, but it's the funniest thing I've seen on facebook so far. I came across it the other day and recognised several names from here
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Yeah it is, the best thing is the people going "WHY DON'T YOU SPELL PROPERLY!"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Being a newbie to the Faecebook thing
I'm yet to form an opinion one way or another. I just noticed that someone I know has joined a group called Sorry Britain Is Full, though, which then does the usual BNP thing of saying it's not racist it's BRITISH!

And I quote: "Sorry, Britain Is Full. It's time to take our country back. Our people shouldn't be scared of the Government, the Government should be scared of us. Britain is for the British. It's time they new that".
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I saw that
It made me a liiiittle bit angry.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:10, Reply)

It made me angry
that they don't know how to spell 'knew'. I bet their teacher was an indigenous Brit, too.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Why do you hate your country?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Cos it's full of darkies an that, innit?
And mooslims.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Almost as bad as those
"ur in england speek ENGLISH" groups.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:13, Reply)

a few of my facebook friends have joined a group called
'A baby is for life not just for benifits!"

It my eyes fizz with anger.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:05, Reply)

^
Wasn't me, but may suggest it to the ex!
(Kip, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:28, Reply)

It's gay, and for cunts.
If I want to 'socially network' with my friends or find out what they've been up to, through the wonder that is the telephone or email I can just fucking ask them. Incredible.

I am under no illusion that anyone would be interested in the minutiae of my tedious existence so I keep it to myself. Other cunts should do likewise.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I heard the Tayyabs is now flying a rainbow flag outside
and all the waiters are wearing nothing but aprons.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Would you like special sauce?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I love that their chlli sauce isn't as hot
as the yoghurt sauce.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:23, Reply)

This place sounds intriguing
yet completely unsuitable for me.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:24, Reply)

You should come
Monty is organising a table for the 13th May.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Oh fucking tempting
I'm a vegilesbian though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Does that mean you only eat female vegetables?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:36, Reply)

It means I fancy mentally limited women

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:38, Reply)

You must have been gutted when Jade Goody died

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:39, Reply)

nah the problem is
they usually resist. Now that barrier has been taken away Lampito can have a good night
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I am indeed.
All welcome apart from Cave Duck and Spanky.

Applications must be made via gaz and will be vetted by the Dining Soc committee, consisting of me, al and some other cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Oh god this is another Secret Bash debacle
Let's all hope your little gathering turns out better than the Secret Bash did.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:37, Reply)

The last one was magnificent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:39, Reply)

We must be talking about different ones
I could use many words to describe that night, but "magnificent" is not one of them.

/ancient history
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:44, Reply)

The last one I organised, I meant.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Ah I see
Do you mind if you link me to the site for Tayyabs? Or should I just fucking google it?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:47, Reply)

www.tayyabs.co.uk
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Tarka dahl
awesome.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:50, Reply)

If you have a problem with hot food
I advise you to stay away. The vegetarian dishes particularly are pretty fierce.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I like hot food.
Within reason...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Woah! Steady on.
Will no-one think of the POOR OTTERS?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I used to buy cocaine
from a man called Tarquin (he was a most unlikely Tarquin, incidentally). His codename in my telephone was 'The Otter'...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:23, Reply)

That's the second time this Cave Duck fellow's name has come up with unsavoury connotations in 24 hours
If there's bitching to be had I want to be privy to it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I bet you're always hanging around the 'privy' being 'unsavoury'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Not bad. Not bad at all. 8/10, including a bonus point for speed

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:39, Reply)

When?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:41, Reply)

When am I
organising a table for the 13th May?

I read that as "I'm dim".

You should come though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I don't read al's posts,
I may join you I might have a meeting in central london that day, if they don't change it to a video conference to save money.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:44, Reply)

You can get there
from the West End in about 20mins by bus. Piece of piss.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I'll let you know next week,
start putting me through the vetting procedure.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:47, Reply)

OK
First you have to send Al a cock-gaz every hour, on the hour, for a week.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Really not sure where the best place is to enter this thread...
13th May is very fortuitous timing, as I will have spent all day at a long and fucking boring meeting, to which steaming islands of turmeric-stained meat in rivers of flaming hot ghee will be the perfect foil.

Do I need vetting?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 12:10, Reply)

You're on the committee you oaf.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 1 May 2010, 2:17, Reply)

Me too, fucks up newbies every time.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:25, Reply)

...and all the seekh kebabs now have bell-ends

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I read that as "I'm old"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Too right I am.
Any attempt to be anything like a 'tech-savvy new media' helmet would just be embarrassing, like when William Hague went to Notting Hill Carnival in a baseball cap.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:24, Reply)

What are you doing at the moment?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Lord's prayer wank, obviously.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:24, Reply)

What about now?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I haven't finished.
I had to start the prayer again because my boss walked in to my office. Now you're distracting me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Farmville, just fuck off

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:33, Reply)

If only there was a way to get farmville to disapear, or "hide" if you will.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:34, Reply)

If only, oh well

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:36, Reply)

You should both search for "Farm Villain"
For no work (or play) you get to put stats updates such as "Congratulations - Your farm has just found 16 illegal immigrants" or "Oh No! Mad Cow disease found on Finn's Farm!"

All done subtly in the exact same style/images as Farmville. Sometimes a bit too subtle though.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I personally quite like Facebook
but I find it thoroughly disturbing that I have two or three friends who are always ready to make comment on any status update or link anyone posts. It implies that they spend all day sat online, waiting to add their two cents (usually ending "lol") to whatever meaningless drivel crops up online.

Which is obviously nothing at all like B3ta
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:34, Reply)

nothing at all
*shifts uneasily*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Am I making you uncomfortable?
Not to worry. The face does that to people
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:43, Reply)

that 2nd one is brilliant
it even contains traces of angles, which is always a winning topic.
( ascorbate, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I really like Facebook
but what the fuck iss with younggsterss doubbling upp on all their letterss? Twatss.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:40, Reply)

no idea
but some yank friends of mine insist on spelling 'baby' 'babyy' for no logical reason. why would you do that?!
( ascorbate, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Rank stupidityy?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:47, Reply)

possiblyy
there can't be anyy other reasonnnnnn
( ascorbate, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Theyy are the worst.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:48, Reply)

in Thorntons yesterday
a customer in front of me asked for 'Get Well Grandad' to be iced onto a chocolate plaque. Unfortunately neither her nor the counter staff knew how to spell Grandad, and finally decided on Granddard
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:50, Reply)

did you
just slowly sink to the ground and start bashing your head on it?
( ascorbate, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:51, Reply)

no I leaned forward
and told them a rare but nice spelling was Grandad
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Unbelivable
I feel very good when I see those terrible mistakes, as I could probably pass as a bad educated English on the internet if I wanted.

Not on real life, though, my accent is far too thick (read zic)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:51, Reply)

y din dey chk un der iPone

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I don't see the purpose in Facebook
I really have no desire for the world to know anything I do, or for any of the mongs I went to school with to get in contact again. All the people I want to contact are in my email address book, or on my phone, and that suits me just fine.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I did avoid going to a school reunion that was organised via Facebook.
Partly because I was utterly skint, but mostly because there wasn't really anyone going that I either remembered or wanted to get reacquainted with. I've had people sending friend requests who I used to go to school with and I have no fucking idea who they are.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Someone who beat the shit out of me when I was twelve added me a couple of weeks ago.
W. T. F?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:56, Reply)

a girl who regulalry beat me up at school tried to add me recently
was rather nice to reject her request, especially because she is so fucking thick she has requested friendship on 4 further occasions. and has been rejected each time.
( ascorbate, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:58, Reply)

haha
do people just add people for the sake of it? The same thing happened to my missus - people who made her life a misery in school recently added her or left comments or something.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I was of the opinion
that if he was enough of a cunt to duff me up then, I'm pretty sure I don't want to know him as an adult. He'd probably be all like 'Yeah, but I was a kid then, I'm grown up and married and I've got two kids now, I work for the emergency services and I'm a volunteer First Responder at the weekends' and I'd be all 'Yeah, but I'm totally satisfied that you've got really fat, your missus looks sweet but one of your kids looks like a shih-tzu.'
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:07, Reply)

haha
I haven't even bothered looking up any of the people I went to school with - none of them were particularly harsh to me (I think the fact I seemed not to care made them give up eventually), but I don't really want to talk to them
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I only joined really
So I could keep tabs on al in the lulls when he's not on here.

Actually, I take Monty's point to an extent and used to think the same. However, I recently bit the bullet and joined up, although I do find one of my friend’s constant updates about what colour her children’s poo is to be mildly irritating. I love her to bits, but it is somewhat dull.

The same goes for people that post using txt spk or, even worse, write in their own fucking dialect.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:48, Reply)

bullet pillow
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I like it for a few things
When I left Spain almost none of my friends had emails or PCs at home. If it wasn't for facebook I wouldn't have been able to find again some of them.

It's very good to organise events as well.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:49, Reply)

how long ago did you leave?
my missus says that someone (dont remember if it was a visitor here or somehwere she was visiting) was astounded that Spain had internet and taxis - this was 6 years ago.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

5 years ago
You could find internet cafes, but almost nobody had a PC at home. Very few people would have an email, as it was devil, and everybody could read it and know everything about you. And it was magic, as well, nobody really knew how to get one. You kind of hoped that one would appear in your front door one day.

Taxis? We've always had taxis! They're part of the landscape.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:59, Reply)

so i've noticed
i can't step out of the house or the office without seeing a wall of the fuckers - not so many internet cafes these days though - even the easyinternet places seem to be struggling
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I would think
that as more people have internet at home now, they don't need to go to the internet cafes anymore.

I've had people coming to visit to Tenerife (from mainland Spain), completely surprised because we wear trousers and shirts, and go to work, and don't spend the whole day surfing.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:17, Reply)

idiots
the other day i was stopped in the street by someone asking the time. 2 seconds later he asked me if it bothered me speaking to a foreigner (he was an Afircan i believe). He laughed when I told him there wouldn't be much point living here if I did.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Ha! Very good!
I'll remember that one in case I need it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I like being able to see photos
from overseas pals - plus I can post pics of my own and if people want to look at them they can - if not, no obligation. It means my friends aren't subjected to a weekly email with photos of the baby(y) and a list of all the marvellous things he's done. they can simply ignore all the pictures of him instead.
( ascorbate, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Me too
I think that's the best bit. It's easy enough for my mother to use it so she can see all the pictures.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I love Facebook.
It show's all my old friends how popular I've become.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I like this
but it doesn't work that way for me sadly.
( ascorbate, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:53, Reply)

What I hate about facebook
Is it's always the lazy good-for-nothings who use facebook as a vessel to tell the world how amazing their life is.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I only joined because various friends were insulted that I couldn't view the photos of their children
yet when I print them off and wank over them they are also aggrieved. You cant win I tells ya.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Agreed
Posting "Phwooar" on a picture of kids in a bath is generally frowned upon.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:00, Reply)

The problem is, if you don't "phwoar" all the kids you're going to insult the parents of those that you don't
"So what's wrong with Melissa huh? Not good enough for you..."
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:03, Reply)

IT'S AN ETIQUETTE MINEFIELD!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Tell me about it
I went to a christening last year and I had absolutely no idea what the appropriate amount of wanking was. Luckily rob was on hand on the main board to explain. B3ta saves the day again!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:10, Reply)

It is polite to stop ejaculating
when the attendees have filled the font, according to tradition.

What better place for a 'Lord's Prayer Wank' than a church, though, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:12, Reply)

and avoid the christening dress
it's considered good manners to hit the shrivelled great-aunt instead. Sharing the wealth and all that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:15, Reply)

The problem was, what with god not existing and people having better things to do on a sunday morning
there weren't many attendees, so guess who had to make up the difference! I'm not made of spunk dammit!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Faking it
with wallpaper paste is particularly frowned upon in polite society.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Well, the people that go there expect to hear the Lord's Prayer at some point in the service
And if it's delivered in an impassioned performance then so much the better.

It's when they look up from their praying positions to see your thick, hefty wads of man batter dripping from the pews and then the "priest" standing afore them with his member in his beslimed hand that they may start to worry.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 12:19, Reply)