Electric cars are the future
Literally, as it's being discussed whether to fit them with Star Wars noises so they can be heard coming. Thus negating that unforseen by-product of cleaner energy of streets strewn with the corpses of blind people and their guide dogs. I want mine to sound like a TIE Fighter, please.

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article7115259.ece

Or, you could just make them sound like cars...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 15:46, 115 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The chavvy cunts can get an upgrade
that plays through their wanky backseat sub woofers so that it sounds like they've got a proper phat-boi exhaust.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 15:52, Reply)

When they turn up the sound,
The car will slow to a crawl.

So they can be laughed at longer.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I would like mine to play out Ludacris "Move bitch, get out da way, get out da way bitch, get out da way"

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 May 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I fucking love Ludacris
more than a middle class white girl should.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 4 May 2010, 15:57, Reply)

in the same boat with you

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 May 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I like Public Enemy
But I'm never sure whether I'm allowed to sing along with it.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 15:59, Reply)

why the hell not?
my housemate, 5'2" white lezbo, goes around the house singing Eazy E "Gimme that nut"
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Mine should play this.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 15:57, Reply)

this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvrKzmkdBTI
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I love this song
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1plPyJdXKIY
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:05, Reply)

haha omg ghetto

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:08, Reply)

And this one
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWBj_fNap28
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:09, Reply)

awwwwww shit son
that was my jam

I quite love this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=p18uNMfwp34
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:13, Reply)

I like this one a lot
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBA-xi8WuCU
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:18, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4pXtYmWF6s
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:21, Reply)

what is this, a youtube-off?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:21, Reply)

maybe!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:27, Reply)

who's winning?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Electric cars aren't silent,
they're just a lot quieter than normal cars.
It's like saying milk floats are silent.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 15:57, Reply)

My uncle was killed by a milk float

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Never saw that one coming...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Oh looky, singing milkmen
as this seems to be a music thread
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Was he totally creamed?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:20, Reply)

He'd only had a couple of pints

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I bet you're going to milk that story for years.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:23, Reply)

I was skim-reading through
and saw this
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:25, Reply)

but seriously, I'm really sorry he got yoghurt

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Oh dear God.
That's pasteur joke.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:27, Reply)

I felt that the Eulogy I gave at his funeral was very tasteful
Although my mother thought it was a little cheesy.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:26, Reply)

did you wear a gold top
like he would have wanted?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:27, Reply)

It takes a lot of bottle to do a eulogy, you know.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:28, Reply)

not this again.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Yeah his mum should have given them more credit,
the cow.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:34, Reply)

I thought it was quite moo-ving, myself.
Udder people weren't so sure.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:35, Reply)

I'd have been a bit cheesed off.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:26, Reply)

still, no use crying over it, etc.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:26, Reply)

I'm feeling a bit sour about the whole incident, to be honest.
And I wasn't even there.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:29, Reply)

I think all this making light of the situation is a bit off.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:32, Reply)

FUCKING STOP IT ALL OF YOU

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Make us.
:)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:36, Reply)

She's got herself all churned up over this.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Why are you so cheesed off?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)

This is all leaving a sour taste for her

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)

I do so hate you all.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Show us yer jugs!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Dairy I say
that you might be right.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Yeah, it makes my stomach curdle.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:35, Reply)

All this punning really is beyond the pale.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Speak for yourself.
I'm creaming myself at the punny goodness.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:45, Reply)

This is udderley ridiculous.
I just thought I'd whey in with my opinion.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Pasteurised?
No, as long as it covers me tits'll be fine.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 4 May 2010, 18:22, Reply)

I think there should be a range of options depending on mood

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:10, Reply)

like a mood ring?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Thanks, just what I need to cheer me up.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 4 May 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Electric Cars
I believe some research body somewhere (this may be urban myth, and I'm too tired to investigate) recommended that people wanted their cars to make noise because it gave them a sense of well-being.

It sounds like some of the electric trains in other parts of the world which have an attendant on them sitting in a seat doing nothing because people feel reassured that their little train has a driver.
(JohntheDane, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:11, Reply)

My car sounds like a rusty bag of spanners
and people still step out in front of me
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Tell you one thing nothing should sound like
Waterloo being sung Gregorian chant style
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:28, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy8_fPw_rT0
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 5 May 2010, 8:04, Reply)

WHAT'S THE QUESTION, GRANDDAD?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Are you coming to the pub on the 18th June?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:37, Reply)

I know nothing of this jaunt.
What's the occasion?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:39, Reply)

I'm getting married
So we're all going to the pub.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:40, Reply)

I totally made a facebook group
but it was too gay for you.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:40, Reply)

I sang that to the tune of 'It's All Too Beautiful'

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:41, Reply)

'Itchycoo Park' by the Small Faces?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:42, Reply)

That's where I'll be.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:45, Reply)

What did you do there?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:47, Reply)

This next line's mine, chaps.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I would LOVE to come, old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I'm not I'm afraid.
As I have a christening to go to that weekend and then Blousey's bash the following weekend.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I don't want to hear your problems, Davros' Granddad.
I want to hear your solutions.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:44, Reply)

It's not a problem per se.
If I had more money spare I'd be there like Sex Face up a woman.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:46, Reply)

wo
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:47, Reply)

I feel bad for you son.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I love this.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Why don't you
just hop in your spaz chariot futuristic electric car and zoom down?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Drive?
to London?

Are you INSANE?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 May 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Frankly yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Whyma Mesa nota Invited?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Because of THAT horrible thing you said about me.
You can come too if you like. I'll gaz you when I've decided where it will be held.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:45, Reply)

I'm going to one man meme that you are Jar Jar Binks now,
just a warning.
Let me know the details and I'll try to get a meeting down in london that day so I don't have to pay for my train ticket.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I just had to mute a phone call because I was laughing at myself
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:46, Reply)

WHAT PUB ARE WE GOING TO, ALTHEGEORDIE?
WHAT ABOUT CHANDO'S, ALTHEGEORDIE?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:42, Reply)

WHAT IS CHANDOS DEVIL IN TIGHTS?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT PUB YET BUT CLENDRIX WANTS TO WATCH THE FOOTBALL DEVIL IN TIGHTS.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:46, Reply)

IT IS A SAM SMITH'S PUB, ALTHEGEORDIE.
WE ALL WANT TO WATCH THE FOOTBALL, BUT WON'T FOOTBALL PUBS BE STUFFED CHOC FULL OF WANKERS SHOUTING "ENGERLAAAAND"?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

YES, THAT'S WHAT 'FOOTBALL TYPES' ARE LIKE, DEVVERS, OLD BEAN

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:49, Reply)

IF CHANDOS IS A SAM SMITHS PUB THEN IT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA TO ME DEVIL IN TIGHTS
AND YES FOOTBALL PUBS PROBABLY WILL BE FILLED WITH CUNTS. BUT CLENDRIX OBVIOUSLY THINKS FOOTBALL IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME.

*SNIFFS*
*VERY LOUDLY*
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:51, Reply)

SHE'S A VERY PERCEPTIVE WOMAN

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:51, Reply)

MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHOOSE A PUB WITH MORE THAN ONE FLOOR
WHERE ONE OF THE FLOORS DOESN'T SHOW THE FOOTBALL
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:51, Reply)

WE ARE NOT GOING TO THE PORTERHOUSE ON A FRIDAY NIGHT

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:54, Reply)

THE PORTERHOUSE IS FOR BUMDERS WHO THINK THEY KNOW ABOUT BEER

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Hey, I went there on my birthday.
I like it. And I do know about beer. It's that stuff that makes me talk silly things.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:58, Reply)

It makes you wonderfully suggestible too.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:02, Reply)

*Newton's Cradles*

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:05, Reply)

It's alright.
To its credit, it does stock an impressive selection of beer. I think what got up my nose was that the menu seemed to suggest things like Old Speckled Hen were somehow rare, exotic and therefore justified in costing large amounts of money. But then I can be the most insufferable snob on this sort of matter.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:02, Reply)

FUCK NO! BUT THERE IS PROBABLY ANOTHER PUB WHICH FALLS IN THAT CATERGORY IN LONDON,
THERE'S THREE IN MILTON KEYNES SO YOU COULD ALL COME UP HERE.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I WOULD RATHER STAB MY OWN TESTICLES WITH RAILWAY SPIKES
THAN GO TO MILTON KEYNES
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I WOULD RATHER STAB YOUR TESTICLES WITH RAILWAY SPIKES
than do almost anything on earth.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Eat Tayyabs?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Ideally I would combine the two
and then grill your freshly-burst testes and serve them on a sizzling skillet to Cave Duck.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:08, Reply)

He would find that wonderfully earthy and humurous.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:09, Reply)

I think everyone at Tayyab's should be forced to say Grace when the meal arrives
Provided "Grace" can take the form of the Lord's Prayer and group masturbation.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Funny you should say that
but they're bringing it in on the 12th May, which is brilliant timing for our trip on the 13th!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Top hole!
I may need to soothe the friction burns in that yoghurt dip afterwards. It looks fresh and cooling.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:14, Reply)

IT'S NEAR TO DUNSTABLE

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:00, Reply)

IT'S LIKE AN EXTRA-CHAVVY NANDO'S, AL.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

It's a Sam Smith's pub just off the NE corner of Trafalgar Square
Normally alright, and Sam Smith's beers = cheap rounds.

Only drawback is the number of people eating each other's faces off in the doorway on a Friday night.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:50, Reply)

I went to see The Stooges last night
supported by 70s electronic pioneers (and nutjobs) Suicide. It was fucking brilliant - and fucking LOUD too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:55, Reply)

That sounds good.
Not familiar with Suicide's work, but I'd have been interested to see whether the Stooges still had it.

Incidentally I went to see a little-known blues artist the other night - one John Crampton - who turned out to be one of the most impressive acoustic blues players I've come across of late. He was pretty fucking loud too, for a man who was basically making all the noise with a resonator and a wooden stomping board. I may have to drag you along next time he's in London.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:00, Reply)

He sounds excellent.
The Stooges not only still have it, but have a great deal more now than most performers ever have in their entire careers. High octane, hilarious and just a superb night out. One thing that struck me last night was how good a vocalist Iggy Pop is. Not something many will have noticed given his onstage maniac routine.

The also wheeled out the never-officially-recorded but oft bootlegged classic 'Cock in my Pocket' which was marvellous.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Interesting
Now you mention it, I'd never have had him down as a great vocalist. A great frontman, but not that much of a vocalist.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:10, Reply)

He has perfect pitch in 3 octaves
and really great vocal control. Not something I'd ever noticed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:15, Reply)

SPEAK UP

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:56, Reply)

PARDON?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 4 May 2010, 16:59, Reply)

WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 May 2010, 17:04, Reply)