Why I love living in London (part 28)
About six months ago a pal of mine turned me onto an album by a band called Blurt. They were a deranged post-punk band from (I think) Gloucestershire and they were one of the first acts on (the massively overrated) legendary Factory label. Really off-the-wall stuff, I was immediately very keen. So I was extremely pleased to get a text telling me to get down to the Rough Trade East record shop after work last night, where I and about 30 other people was treated to a full length gig by the aforementioned band, in the shop, for precisely fuck all. There was also a talk by the bloke who designed all the Factory covers including the iconic Joy Division sleeves – not that I cared a toss about him or his shitty record covers…

I then ambled up Brick Lane in the evening sun, munched a salt beef and English mustard beigel from the famous Beigel Bake and was home, smugger than Exeter’s finest, by 9pm.

THE END.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:00, 106 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I love London
I was going to go out. Instead, we bought 4 bottles of spirits, loads of limes and lots of Diet Coke. We sat inside and got destroyed, and I got home at 1 barely able to walk.

THE END.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:05, Reply)

You crazy students
what will you think of next.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Traffic cone theft?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:15, Reply)

I'll bet they stole a road sign and put it in their front room too.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:16, Reply)

WOW IT'S LIKE YOU'RE AT MY FRIEND'S PLACE
I have none of these things. I barely even drink. Instead of drink little and often, I will have one or 3 drinks and end up obliterated, about once a week.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:17, Reply)

My friends have
and roadwork signs from Waterloo bridge
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:16, Reply)

I remember playing Bonnie Tyler
I decided to put this as my status. Someone commented that I'd not made any typos, so I managed to type "I'm ftunnk snf i acna#y ytype["

Chompy told me to get the fuck off the internet :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:16, Reply)

I know
I saw that.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I gave a friend a sexydance.
WHY HAVE I WOKEN UP AT 9? I'm supposed to sleep the day away!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I smile whenever I drive past Gonz's flat (which I did just yesterday)
as I know I am within just a few metres of where you were violated by Sexface.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Really, REALLY sadface
I am sad I've not got to tell my side of the story. If you can bear it I'll tell you at your thingy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:25, Reply)

In which side of the story do you end up not sleeping with sexface.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:27, Reply)

No, I do.
But I hope I come out of it looking a bit better.

He's pretty persistent.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:30, Reply)

She turned around
and therefore as she didn't see it, it didn't happen.

She probably didn't feel it either.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Putting wine and vodka in a grotty bowl
and calling it punch.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:24, Reply)

oh stop it i might be sick

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I was going to link to a picture of vomit here
but thought better of it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:31, Reply)

You are really REALLY going to get punched in the face next time I see you

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)

For not linking to vomit?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:36, Reply)

For even thinking of it
Which would be worse? Me punching you in the face or trying to kiss you?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:37, Reply)

both are easily avoided with a quick head butt.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:39, Reply)

:(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)

You being violated by Sexface anywhere in the world

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I bet you've fucked people you'd rather you hadn't >_<

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)

It's always the other way round

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Sounds totally sliffing old chap. I miss the old gal.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 21 May 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Kunt & The Gang
played in the pub I had my dance class in last night. The lyrics are quite clever I suppose but I couldn't help thinking the guy was a bit old to be doing things like that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Nice sig.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 21 May 2010, 9:19, Reply)

thanks :D

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Whereabouts do you live Monty?
I love London because I can go out where I live and it's fairly quiet and peaceful, yet a short hop across the river I'm in a busy bustling mad world.

The end.

P.S. Those beigels are to die for.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:11, Reply)

E2 (between Hackney Road and Broadway Market )
It's fucking brilliant these days.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Ah, I work in N1 just up from Hoxton
got any local recommendations? I like going out after work.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:19, Reply)

The Griffin (just off Great Eastern St) is my boozer.
It's a proper grubby old knackered-looking pub, where you might be treated to a free DJ set from the likes of Andy Weatherall. They have great music* and it's the least pretentious place in Shoreditch. The Royal Oak on Columbia Rd is also excellent (they have top food too). There are dozens more decent gig/club places but the amount of Shoreditch wankers around makes these places off limits for an old cunt such as me.

*that said last time I was in there someone played a reggae version of the Coronation St theme.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I might have to take a look in
I sometimes cycle Great Eastern on the way home. I have to admit I don't go out much in East of Old Street because of the Hoxton Heroes :/

I tend to roll out to the Hanbury Arms. Not too much personality but a cracking jukebox and beer.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:38, Reply)

*Googles* looks like a nice pub, do they do decent food?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)

It's pretty much
only pizza. But thin crust, traditional Roman style pizza. Great toppings too.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)

SOLD. I'll go there soon, thanks for the tip

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)

-boroughfives-
I thought you lived in borough... at least
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I know where you live.
We live in a great area!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:21, Reply)

It's really lovely
apart from Rape Park, just off Tabard st behind where I live :/
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:24, Reply)

You've got Rape Park
I've got Hobo Park. Parks just don't seem nice round here.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Whereabouts are you?
I walked to OKR Tesco yesterday. EXERCISE.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Webber Row
I cycle to OKR Tesco quite often.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Oooh that name is ringing bells. I'm sure I'll see it and it'll click
Moving to Camberwell in a few months. Yeaaaaah.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Woo!
Local bash!
(bill, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Do you ever go to the Hermit's Cave?
Love that place.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Occasionally
More often than not I'm in the Funky Munky opposite. I have been drinking in The Tiger occasionally recently too.
(bill, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Why are you moving there?
I'm moving in July!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:08, Reply)

August
Where are you moving to?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Elephant and Castle
Oh yes, moving UP in the world :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I have a soft spot for E&C
It's not too bad.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Pfft!
I bet you don't have sheep wandering across the road as you're driving home after work.
( girlinthehole, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Have you EVER driven
through Bank at 5.30?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:23, Reply)

^ this (BGB's post)
Although there are a lot of foxes in London.

(That was just a comment, by the way. Not a reason for there not being any sheep...)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I love London too
because I don't have to live there.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:23, Reply)

London loves that too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I like mutually agreeable situations

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:30, Reply)

I'm heading up to your neck of the woods this weekend (well, nearish, Edinburgh is in Scotland)

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:32, Reply)

^this^(k2k6's post)
it's such a fucking dirty, noisy place.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 21 May 2010, 9:27, Reply)

But with you all the way up in the arse end of nowhere we've got one less cunt to worry about.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Which legendary band did you see for nothing last night?
Can you walk home from Tayyab's in 20 mins?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I wish I lived closer to Tayyabs

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I don't think you can call them legendary.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:37, Reply)

I can and I just did.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:38, Reply)

TAKE IT BACK

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:39, Reply)

NO.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Like you mum's brothel

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)

It's the only city where I'd live in Britain
Everywhere else seems so parochial after living in the capital.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Manchester ent bad,

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:35, Reply)

It's in the North and is therefore not in consideration, anyway
I'm allergic to poverty, it brings me out in hives.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Quite so.
Fucking pigeon-fancying cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I'll set my dogs on you, you southern oik.
And whippets have very sharp teeth.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 21 May 2010, 9:48, Reply)

mine doesn't, she's rubbish

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:04, Reply)

You feed her too much. Every other day keeps 'em mean.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 21 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

People are being so mean to me today!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:42, Reply)

It's not you, it's all Northern people

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I'm Northern.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)

in city terms
exeter couldn't be less like london. it'd seem like a medium sized town to most londoners.

which is why partly why I like it. There aren't A roads and flyovers everywhere like Bristol and places like that. It takes me less than 10 minutes to drive to the countryside. 20 minutes and I'm on Dartmoor or at the beach.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:36, Reply)

These are all good things
the down side is that you are about five hours from anywhere interesting. Five hours on one crappy motorway.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:37, Reply)

that is true
the M5 wouldn't be so bad if they'd surfaced it properly. it's a complete fucker to drive on in the rain because of ridiculous amounts of surface water and spray.

I'm ok with it being far from anywhere for the most part. Most of my family is down here, and I still see all my good friends from school. It's a bit shit for gigs, that's the worst thing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I couldn't live if I didn't go and see as many gigs as I do.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)

That was actually my main reason for going to University in Manchester
I didn't want to live in London, but most bands also play in Manchester.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I do see a fair amount
the local music scene down here is really quite good (excluding my band cos we're dreadful, but no one has noticed yet), and we do get the odd excellent band playing.

not so much mainstream stuff, but then Bristol doesn't get much of that either. It seems that big bands just don't come to the south west.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Your own band doesn't count.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I said excluding my band you spastic

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Your own band doesn't count.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:30, Reply)

if I were going to live somewhere that wasn't Devon
then it'd be London. It's a great place. Too many cunts, but you have that problem anywhere there is anyone.

came up with 3 new songs last night, all good stuff. new CD should be arriving today too.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Good work that man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I came up with 4 great songs last night
and they were all GREAT stuff.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:41, Reply)

well done

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:44, Reply)

You as well, eh?
Wicked.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I did five amazing tracks...
...and got the support slot for Hawkind's tour.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Humming on a mans balls in the park
does not constitute musical creativity
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:45, Reply)

What if we add a viola and a simple break beat?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Then yes, it'd be far better than Razorlight

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Jesus they are vile, aren't they?
On a bright note, I saw Johnny Borrel get punched in the mouth outside a club in Atlanta. He tried to get the bouncers to beat his assailant but they just laughed at him. (As did everyone else.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)

good

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Good morning, Monters.
Spot on about Blurt - they are indeed Stroud's finest export since the 'acid factory' which was closed down in 89 ater 21 years in business.
Must disagree about Factory though, very good bands, great art and a wonderful sense of apathy towards the rest of 'the industry' - in other words an anorak collectors dream; the only gripe I have about it is the recent over-exposure and myth making has made it into a rather smug, 'cool' retro brand. (Also CBGBs, Sub Pop, The fucking useless Doors etc...)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:44, Reply)

This ^^
God this, all over
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:46, Reply)

This thing last night was a book launch
sounds like you might want to read it. Bright fucking pink cover though.

I was massively, massively impressed by Blurt. Great musicians and truly original.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I live in Norwich
Top that, losers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)

High Six!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:55, Reply)

POTD
No question
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 May 2010, 9:59, Reply)

NFN
I concur
( djtrialprice, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

If you picture Britain as a man in a silly hat riding a pig
London is clearly the hog rectum, which is as good a metaphor for the place as you could ask for.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:08, Reply)

That would imply the man's brain is somewhere around Aberdeen
That can't be right
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 May 2010, 10:13, Reply)