I think they are one of the worst bands I have ever heard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:20, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I think they are one of the worst bands I've ever heard
I enjoy colouring in, going to see films and long walks in the park with my friends.

Accentuate the positive, Monts, it'll make you a happier person all round.

Good morning everybody!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Nice to see you Albert.
Bit of a sleep in? Jolly good show.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 26 May 2010, 9:31, Reply)

No, I'm starting shift work
It's a tough job, but somebody has to clean our oil rigs
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Rubbish.
There are loads worse. Oasis for one.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 26 May 2010, 9:32, Reply)

There are worse bands.
But they are amongst the worst bands I have ever heard.

Wait a minute - I've already posted this...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:36, Reply)

what's wrong with oasis?
I like them...
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Apart from
some of the worst lyrics ever - sample: 'slip inside the eye of your mind'? How fucking terrible. That makes 'Why don't presidents fight the war? Why do they always send the poor?' (see below) seem positively Wildean.

Or hackneyed 3rd-rate pedestrian sub-Beatles tunes?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:53, Reply)

They produced the lyric I hate most in the world
"she's got a sister, god only knows how I miss her, on the palm of her hand is a blister"

It's like rhyming for three year olds!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Ooh you went for a three year old
I was kind and went for five.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Oasis lyrics could be written by a five year old
Take a word, any word, and rhyme it with a word, any word. Here is my oasis attempt:

Hey man take a word
Fly like a bird
And we can get hiiiiiiiiiiigh
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:09, Reply)

haha this is excellent.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)

They really should have listened to more Ian Dury

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:13, Reply)

earthy humour.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I do like it earthy

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Joking aside,
I do think everybody who fancies themselves as a lyricist should be forced to qualify themselves with a listen to a good dose of Ray Davies. And if that doesn't fix 'em, we break out the Jake Thackray.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)

They're no Limp Bizcuit.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:33, Reply)

don't dis the biz!
I'll break your fucking face.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:36, Reply)

back up, back up.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:36, Reply)

and give a brother room
the fuse is lit and I'm about to go boom
mercy mercy mercy me
my life is a cage but on stage I'm free
hyped up syched up ready for wil'in'
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Emo

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I saw a big truck that said Emo Oil on it this morning
it made me smile.

Then I realised I was one of those people who smiles when they're by themselves, making them look crazy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Haha, good old Fresh Prince!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I will.
Didn't they have a giant lavatory on stage into which effigies of Britney Spears were thrown, or something?

Can anyone top this as the worst stage gimmick of all time? It makes Cypress Hill's giant inflatable joints seem positively cool...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:38, Reply)

It was the Spice Girls and Hansen they flushed
and yeah, there was a worse stage prop. Would've been fine if the guitarist hadn't suggested it be 18" high instead of 18' though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Geri Halliwell once made her stage entrance
out of a giant pair of open legs. That's was pretty tasteless.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:19, Reply)

No, it's all empowering for women, innit!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Yes
The message was "drape yourself in a Union Jack and get your norks out and you too can be a success in a field in which you demonstrably have no talent"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)

remember her version of Its Raining Men?
what am I saying, of course you do.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Yeah, it was in Bridget Jones' Diary
and the video had her in a Flashdance-type outfit to show off how much weight she'd lost...

This is exactly why, isn't it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Or just very honest

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I hope you know I pack a chain saw
I'll skin your ass raw
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Even though that song is 11 years old
EVERY time I play it at Rawkus I can guarantee the entire crowd will scream "BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE TONIGHT" back at me. Either the Bizkit have enormous enduring appeal or my crowd really fucking hate me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I would scream
'turn this terrible shit off' back at you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:53, Reply)

be fair Monty
would you be there in the first place?

And if so would you consider simply having a good night to bad music?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I would be there in my role as assassin of Allah.
I'm not that much of a churl. I have enough to decorum (I hope) that were I out at a night where they played music I didn’t like, I wouldn’t spoil it for people by being petulant. I’d simply smile and cry inside, and prop up the bar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:06, Reply)

or take your ipod/mp3 player along
go outside for a smoke and listen to some good music to fortify yourself
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:08, Reply)

These are all good ideas
Next one's on June 5th Monty. I'll guestlist you, just to see the look on your face
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:13, Reply)

take my what?
I have a steam-powered gramophone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:38, Reply)

bring it on a shopping trolley
a tartan one
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I just stick it in the back of my bath chair.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:58, Reply)

whenever I hear that
I think of Jane Austen and The Silver Skates
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I used to live round the corner from Jane Austen's house.
We knew the people who lived there - one day the chap came out of the bathroom to find a posse of Japanese tourists in his sitting room.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I hope he charged them for the privilege

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

You live in Norwich,
it's probably still in the top 10 there.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Haha missed this one

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I won't even bother to say that Norwich moves with the times musically
as it would be utter bollocks.

I remembered yesterday and forgot to mention, the one thing I remember from my trip to Milton Keynes (in 1999) was a remarkably high proportion of well-endowed girls. Is this still the case?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:08, Reply)

There's a decent ratio.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:14, Reply)

they're not that bad
I think they're pretty inoffensive. Like Porky said, Oasis are way worse. I have to turn the radio off when they come on, which is a lot living in bloody Manchester.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Linkin Park do what they do very well
but I can see how they'd be offensive to a musical connoisseur like Monty. They did manage to make Jay-Z good for the only time in his career to date, though.

And Oasis are worse than everyone. Ever. Even Suede
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:38, Reply)

^this
LP are alright, as Kitty says they're inoffensive.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I like them
they remind me of my forays into nu-metal. It amused me when I learned they'd been put together in a pop-idol manner in America.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Same, they remind me of my early uni years
Good times...good times.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

haha
I was talking about Suede just last night! I was singing Trash at Wiggy. He didn't appreciate it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:22, Reply)

haha
I played Animal Nitrate last night at pre-drinks
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:23, Reply)

If I remember rightly, did the lead singer (Brett?)
look like a poor man's Matt Bellamy?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Close
A stony fucking broke gay man's Matt Bellamy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

slightly harsh
I think the lead singer of Suede was a bit attractive in an odd sort of way.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I know him socially.
He is as big a tool as his records suggest.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:40, Reply)

ah well
I'm not going to meet him though, so it's all moot. Is he actually ugly then as well?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:41, Reply)

He looks like a gay ghost.
A bit of a sweaty one at that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:57, Reply)

nothing wrong with that

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Whenever I saw him he was singing godawful songs
so his attractiveness did not really cross my mind
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:44, Reply)

'we are the pigs'
Jesus fucking Christ.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 May 2010, 10:57, Reply)

We seem to agree on several shit bands
If only we could find one we both like
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:07, Reply)