I'm so bored
I promissed myself I'd only be a lurker today as I'm pretty busy, but I can't give a fuck about my job anymore.

And I'm getting a headache, trying to get all the paperwork that you need to get married in Tenerife. FFS! It's just a wedding! Why do you need a birth certificate less than 6 months old?? How many times can you be born??

And all of Mark's papers need to be translated by a certified translator for 0.10€/word. I should be working on that.

Edit: AltQ: Which promises have you broken?

Which stupid bureaucracy has made you mad recently?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:41, 128 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The birth certificate thing is because you can change your name
and get issued a new one, or an amended one, or if you lose your original you'll get another one sent to you.

I don't deal with bureaucracy anymore, I stopped working for the council years ago
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Well, there are a lot of reasons you can think of, but
You need as well another paper to prove you are alive and ok to marry. This is a paper that the registrar will give you. This is a paper that can't be more than 6 months old (for obvious reasons)

The registrar can't give you a paper with a name on it that it's not your name. Can't give you the paper if you're not alive. Why do you need an updated birth certificate??
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:51, Reply)

What?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Christ I'm glad you didn't understand that either
I thought I become as retarded as Vipros there.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:53, Reply)

FUCKING MASSIVE BEARDY CUNT
I hope he dies of AIDs in his face.

It seems to be a series of contradictory comments, I cannot for the life of me fathom what she's getting at
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

now now...

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Hi Vipros, how's things?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:57, Reply)

can't complain
how are you?

you look smashing in that blouse...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Ta very much, you massive beardy twat
I'm rather well, thank you for asking
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:00, Reply)

splendid!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Get a room!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:03, Reply)

And a plastic sheet.

( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)

and some
wet wipes for afterwards
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:07, Reply)

but that would prevent the crust from forming....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:09, Reply)

where you lie glued together
you mean? Allowed just to be Bert and Vip
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:13, Reply)

It's alright Vippy
Berties just getting himself upset ONLINE
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:57, Reply)

I'm not upset
just because I hope somebody dies slowly and painfully, while being raped by that black guy from the Green Mile, doesn't mean I'm upset
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)

She's forrin.
Give her a chance.
( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Why?
If she wants to come on our website she should learn our Fackin' language. And take that Fackin' Burhka off too. Fackin Forrins and there Fackin' noncey ways.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:00, Reply)

THEY DINT GIVE US A CANCE WEN THEY BANED R FLAGS

(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Thank you

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Ah, that explains it
Who'd marry a foreigner anyway though?

You'd have to be pretty fucking desperate
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:01, Reply)

He isn't
I'm awesome.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)

^^ This

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:07, Reply)

:D

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)

*nods in agreement*

( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:08, Reply)

:D x 2

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)

She's like me
she must be awesome.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:32, Reply)

esome ful
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I can believe you would think that of me
But Kitty? Kitty??

Who are you, anyway!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Just some massive beardy twat with face AIDZlol

(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:42, Reply)

And obssessed with croisants as well
Now I know I don't need to worry. Thanks.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Let's see, slowly
To get married you need (among other things) 2 very important papers:

-Birth certificate
-A paper from the register saying you are alive and ok to marry (I don't remember the English name)

That second paper, can't be more than 6 months old, because you could die or remarry during that period. That paper needs your name on it, the signature of the registrar and a few more things.

Clearly, if the name on that paper is the same as the name in your birth certificate, you don't need a birth certificate less than 6 months old, do you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Yes, you do.
Why?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Nah, I'm still lost. Sorry.
Probably because of stupid British bureaucracy though, and nothing to do with the language you're using
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)

That's Spanish bureaucracy
And Mark's quite lost with it as well, and getting very frustrated.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)

at least it's not the Spanish Inquisition

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:09, Reply)

You never know
I'm trying to get a Catholic wedding, but it's making everything 3 times as complicated, so I might just go for a civil one.

It'd be fun to the the priest dressed with one of those red capes.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)

My college spending 3 out of 4 lessons today teaching us what we did last year
Because the RCVS says they have to. Even the lecturers think its pointless
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:43, Reply)

I promised myself I wouldn't let a penis touch my body.
I lied.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:45, Reply)

What's his name.

( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

just some guy on a packed train.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)

I didn't think you'd started commuting yet.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I've never been on a train
Kristine fact #31
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Really?
How do you manage?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

manage what?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Your time between the dog and work

(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

To move around without the train
Does it include underground and trams as well?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Theres a.....er.....subway? But that's about 60 miles away
we use a horse and buggy round these here parts
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:15, Reply)

No, you're joking me...

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:20, Reply)

how the hell do you think I have electricity?
ol' Mabel, our donkey, is out back on the treadmill hooked to the generator
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

eh?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I was being cheeky
implying that you were the man with the penis on the train.

Oh, what a wag I am!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)

I got that I was replying to kristine.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:07, Reply)

*thinks : is now the time for a ninja deletion?*

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Too late
The internet has read it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I don't think it's too crazy.
But nope.
Never been on a train.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:16, Reply)

You don't have the same railway infrastructure as we do.
So it's no surprise really.
( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

okay, miss smarty pants

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Wormulus

(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Do you kiss your mum with that mouth?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:50, Reply)

yeah but not on the face.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

which one?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:51, Reply)

certified translators huh?
at least they are easy to find, and work with, here.

In the Uk the process is more complex
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Everybody says otherwise
That getting married in the UK is terribly easy compared with Spain. I've been trying to fix a date for almost a month now.

Do you know any certified translator that would do me a good price?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:53, Reply)

I broke a promise I made to several important people in my life
that is now making shit serious.

I also am breaking my promise that I'll actually finish packing today. I guess I have a few more hours in the day left :D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

The Tenerife post office has made me mad.
They lost my sister's Rosetta Stone delivery and I've had to order it again.
( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

thats cause the mail company is SHITE
they don't give a rat's ass about deliveries of any kind.

My company's regiestered address is my home address, and quite often highly confidential mail just gets left on top of the communal mail boxes. Matter oif time before something important goes "missing" from there
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)

How could they lose a huge piece of rock?
;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Silly billy.

( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:53, Reply)

*chortle*
I have a jigsaw of the rosetta stone. it was fucking hard
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

But I bet now you're fluent in early Mesopotamian
and Linear B.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)

naturally

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Yep
If it's important, don't use the post office.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Stupid bureaucracy?
The NHS and the patient's right to choose - yeah, only if the GP says so.

Broken promise - where do I begin?
All of them to myself - to write more, to read more, to drink more, to climb more, to hike more, to do a few spinning classes, to sleep more.

I want MOAR!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Fuck the gp, if he's not letting you get the choice of (clinically relavent) health care you can fuck them up.
And should, gps are a massive pain.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:51, Reply)

He has two weeks before the fucking up begins
My minions are poised.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Gaz me if you need scary words to put in a letter of complaint.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:53, Reply)

FFS
she teaches English, she's going to know a lot more words than a paperclip salesman.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:55, Reply)

NHS talk isn't english,
I was thinking more of the targets gp's are financially penalised for.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)

He knows all the lingo like ......
anuerism and sarcoma and stuff.
( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)

And necrotising fasciitis
I like that one - trips off the tongue.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:01, Reply)

I get those words stuck in my head on occasion

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Hahaha

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Thank you!
I have all the NICE guidelines printed out together with the stuff from the NHS Right To Choose pages and various other bits from healthcare pressure groups so I *should* be okay, but I'll be in touch if I'm getting nowhere. Ta.:)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Haven't broken any promises to other people
apart from that I'd promised myself I'd do something, and then chickened out.

Stupid bureaucracy? Bloody student loans company acting up
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Student loans!
That makes me FURIOUS!

Bastard politicians all got a FREE university education and then saw fit to deny it to those coming after them.

BASTARDS
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I only have about a year left until I am student loan free.
I would like to thank the student loan company for allowing me to fly around the world and buy a car.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I wish I was that close to paying mine off
lamentably, that is a long way away
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I'm not even finished
but because I was ill in my first year, I've got to get it sorted out so they'll cover the final year of my course
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:57, Reply)

But you shouldn't need to have a student loan! FFS!
You should have been crippled by a huge credit card like everyone else pre-student loan days.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I was lucky enough to avoid taking one out
But that was back when tuition fees were paid for by the local authority. I had to live at home rather than go away, but it did mean I wasn't bankrupt by the end of my degree.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)

I only took one out
because I'm lucky enough to have parents rich enough to subsidise my Uni education.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:01, Reply)

bastard
my loan was about £14k when I finished uni. isn't far from that now.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:04, Reply)

14K
count yourself lucky. Mine comes to more than that :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)

fees were still small when I went to uni
and I got the minimum loan amount

I was fucking skint though. enough money for food and weed and that's about it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I left polytechnic with a debt of £500.
Mind you in those days, £500 was a lot of money.
( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)

I'm still wrangling with them
over whether I should have to pay any money for my first, first year given I was only there five weeks
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Well I left with about 12k
not really changed that figure to be honest...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Did croissants come with your course too?

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)

I preferred flapjacks

(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I bet you did you dirty get.

( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)

I'm very happy we don't do those in Spain
University is almost free for us.

I don't know what I would have done with a debt like those, with no job, being just a graduate. It's difficult enough to start with a 0 in your account.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I tend not to promise people things
because generally people don't like being let down and I have a realistic view on what I'm like.

Bureaucracy? the EA. the whole thing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

EA?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:55, Reply)

They make computer games based on Sports

(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)

And The Sims

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I looooove the Sims
Wiggy won't let me get the Sims 3 unless I let him upgrade his PC.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)

it's in the game

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:58, Reply)

It used to be
Challenge Everything.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Ah, of course!
Are they bad?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:03, Reply)

he's jesting
I was talking about the Environment Agency
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)

:D
I see. I can imagine them being quite bad, yes.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Electronic Arts are the largest game developer in the world
they used to be amazing. Then had a big spell of shit (but lucrative) games. And now their games are pretty good and lucrative.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Have you heard it's being shrunk
they're merging a few areas together which means they will be utilising a more risk based approach. This may be a good thing in some areas.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I have heard that
it could be good. Flood risk is still quite high on various agendas, so hopefully it won't affect us too much. That remains to be seen though.

There are some completely fucking useless hoops to be jumped through at the moment, so shrinkage is going to be welcome. Most of their staff are bricking it though I should imagine.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I think Flood Risk is a good field to be concerned about
given how much shit development got thrown up on flood plains.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:03, Reply)

sea level rise is a big thing too
I'm sceptical about the extent that Defra thinks it will happen, but even so it's wise to be prepared. I predict quite a few seaside towns being in for a shock.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)

My best friend works in flood risk management
she tells me the flood risk to my flat is low.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)

In which floor do you live?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:45, Reply)

5th/top

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

You should be ok, then
Mine is 6th/7th, and I was told the same.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:47, Reply)

you need to take into account evacuation though
bearing in mind that 30cm of fast flowing water is enough to fuck your shit up.

you'd better hope your flats are designed to deal with disproportionate collapse too, otherwise the inevitable flood-borne car will smash the corner of a wall and the whole thing will come tumbling down....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Mine is in a development, surrounded by a wall
So no cars can reach really.

And I'll go to the top and wait in the balcony for the rescue helicopter.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

she didn't tell me this
she obviously wants me dead when the 7 plagues come. Were there 7, or was it 10?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:58, Reply)

the collapse bit is due to me being an engineer as well
rather than just some poxy scientist
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 16:09, Reply)

the problem with Flood Risk
is that I keep losing the tsunami pieces. Plus Siam is a really good starting position.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)

*applauds*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)