I have to go to the dentist in half an hour
and I really don't want to.

What do you have to do today that you would rather pay someone else in sexual favours to do for you?

I'll be back to read the replies with a mouth full of blood and cotton wool no doubt, so make them awesome to cheer me up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:52, 113 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Going to a bash

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:55, Reply)

I bet everyone else's response will be
"having to hang out with Psychochomp tonight and pretend I like him"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:57, Reply)

I don't think any of them are going to pretend to like me.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:57, Reply)

They just want free paperclips.

( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:01, Reply)

He's moved up to bulldog clips now.
and will be in great demand.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:03, Reply)

his BDSM friends will be overjoyed
nipple clamps on the cheap
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Ouch

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:15, Reply)

I saw a girl wearing one of those as a hairclip
it did not look cool. I could tell she was going for quirky and cool, but it just looked idiotic and Bride of Chompy-esque.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I went to the dentist on Wednesday
scrape and polish and a lecture on how to brush, same as always. You'll be fine unless you eat lots of sweets.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I can't stop myself
sweets cock.

sorry.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:22, Reply)

can't stop the cock

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I got a bollocking yesterday
because I did something that I was told to do. It's a long story, but essentially I directed people to a particular person as, I was told, they look after one of our apps. He got narked by this and complained about it to the IT Director. I then got naused at by, because mine's on holiday, another department's manager. To say this has put me in a bit of a bad mood is an understatement and chances are I'm going to have to speak to all three involved parties today and I'm not convinced in my ability to hold my tongue.

I haven't yet decided if there's going to be any Honda-style vigilante justice, but rest assured that my karate skills have been honed to ninja pitch since yesterday.
( Kroney, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Just remember they are all ignorant cunts.
and there is nothing you can do to improve them.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:21, Reply)

This does get me through most days
sheer ignorance I can deal with. What really pisses me off is their expectation that because they don't know how to do their jobs half the time (by which I mean setting formulae up in spreadsheets and the like), they expect us to do it for them.
( Kroney, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:25, Reply)

You need to adopt and practice a facial expression that makes them feel really bad.
I have several to choose from. I do one that says "you really are wasting your time telling me off." and another that says "You are so low down the tree of life, I do not aknowledge you as a human being."

I have others which are less pleasant.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I said "OK, well I'll stop doing it then"
I was told that this wasn't the attitude. I was rather under the impression that doing it was wrong. Baffling.
( Kroney, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Say nothing, just give them the look.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Pack
good lord I have so muh to do, I didn't realise how big my wardrobe is- and speaking of which I've not even packed away the clothes in my wardrobe, it was only the floordrobe...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Floordrobe - Hah. * Likes*, *steals*.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:36, Reply)

*resteals*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Where's ma floordrobe? I coulda sworn it was under these pizza boxes.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:48, Reply)

hahah!
I have uncovered the floor in your plan
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Floordrobes are where chavs keep their kids.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Grand - I'll sit on the bed and watch the floor show.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:07, Reply)

find students, demand work from them and mark it
but I suppose it's not that bad, so perhaps it depends on the sexual favours/person I'm selling them to
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I don't want to work today
But paying someone in sexual favours to do my work would be very very wrong.

I'm gutted I can't make it down for Al's thing, but I am going out for a mate's birthday, and stuff my face at a buffet restaurant.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Next week then dude?
I'm all kinds of excited about next weekend.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Oh God Damn YESSS!
I have the Friday off too, and really looking forward to it!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:52, Reply)

So are you coming up on the Friday then with Badger and Noel?

( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Friday fun!
I'm drawing the monocle on myself as a pre-emptive strike.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I sure am Ma'am!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Hooray!
*Buys more bog roll*
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Get the quilted kind
he has a sensitive botty
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Too right

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Strictly tree friendly bog roll in my house.

( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)

You use leaves?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:22, Reply)

that's not tree friendly
unless they are dead ones
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Wooo!
It'll be great to see you and Beekers again, plus I'll get to meet new b3tans :D
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:00, Reply)

The BGBBK Coalition Party -
too far for me. Meh.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Attend a doctor's appointment
for ladypart related non-fun issues. They rang me up to cancel, but I've got the day off anyway so I'm going to spend today monging around at home. What a shame. *eats croissant*

No, it was not sexual favours that got me in to this mess in the first place, it's something else!
(berk, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Was it rape then? Because that isn't a favour to anyone.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

What time are you getting to the pub?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:12, Reply)

You asked this yesterday and he didn't respond.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I know, I'm starting to think he doesn't want me there.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)

You know, the start time is on the event page on FB

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I didn't invite him
he invited himself, therefore I'm not prepared to give any details so as to avoid any other cunts turning up.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:16, Reply)

You could gaz him the time?
I'm not going to, it's your party. I also didn't know you didn't invite him, which could mean I'm now in an awkward situation.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:18, Reply)

He did invite me, in a very heart hearted "you can come if you want" way
but that's all I need.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I remember back in my raping days
I used to use that defence all the time. Then I changed my glasses
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:22, Reply)

heart hearted?
"'spose you can come, if you want." *shuffles feet, looks to his Mum to see if she's nodding with approval*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Pretty much that,
Al's very shy around me.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I didn't get a facebook invite :'(

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I did
And I live MILES away.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:17, Reply)

But that's because I'm not facebook friends with Psychochomp

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)

We should become friends I can poke you everyday it'll be like a thing we do.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Yeah, lets not do that

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Everytime you're on facebook chat I can ask you what you're doing?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Applebite told me you did that a lot
I don't actually use facebook chat so she had to explain what it was first.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

He never asks me
Maybe if I put up some poledancing pics he would.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:30, Reply)

You have to make sure that in one of them
you can practically see your minge.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Good idea

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Those pictures better not come up in my news feed.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I'll put them on your wall
And tag you in them as the pole.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

:S

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:48, Reply)

facebook chat is fucking shit.
but it's one of the few bits of internet that works here.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

pack
If I'm bashing tonight, it means I must have my stuff packed and moved to my new room by 3pm
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Speaking of bash
Time to head off for a train.
See everyone tonight who is going.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:59, Reply)

that's departing early!

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:00, Reply)

It's half twelve
But I'm a bit out of Leeds centre and I fancy a nice bagel as well before I hop on the train.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Woohoo!
You'll be 200 yards from my office, so I can just stumble out of work and into the pub.

Looking forward to seeing everyone there!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:02, Reply)

So so jealous

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Apply for an internally advertised job
that I really want but know I am not going to get because its obvious they have been grooming a guy for the job for the last year.
( Peej, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:07, Reply)

put yourself forward for grooming
so you'll get the next similar job
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Go for it anyway,
he might fuck it up.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

So when you say 'internally advertised'
are you implying he had a head start?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Is this some filthy reference to anal sex?
I almost answered you sensibly!
( Peej, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I really liked my dentist.
But she went all quality of life and now works filing down the teeth of mongs near Exeter. So I don't see her anymore, sadface.
There was never any discussion of sexual favours, though.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:14, Reply)

My dentist is fucking hot
and really nice too. I like going to see the dentist.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:17, Reply)

what's his name?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Phil McAvity

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Arf
Actually, it's a bit embarrassing as I don't know my dentists name so I always just ring up for an appointment and hope they don't ask who with as saying "The smoking hot indian lady" would probably get me kicked out.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Because she's Pakistani?
RACIST.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

That's actually my biggest concern when trying to describe her
I'm so terribly middle class I shudder to think how they would look at me if I got her ethnicity wrong, and is it even acceptable to describe someone like that? Should I refer to her as "the smoking hot lady descended from the indian sub continent"? I just don't know.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I know what you mean
You could always just say "That curry one?".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:29, Reply)

luckily mine is just from Sweden
she's really nice as well. I don't like dentists for a number of reasons, but she is incredibly calming and professional
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:29, Reply)

my dentist is unfortunately a man
but all the assistants, nurses and receptionists at the place are smoking hot. It's private, so they are well paid and friendly too, which is nice.

last time I was there my dentist insisted I take money for a pre-order of our latest CD and was promising he'd play it in the surgery.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Nice! I go private too (no spaces at the NHS dentist in town)
My dentist blinks too much for my liking, but his assistant is also smoking hot, and I swear she doesn't wear anything other than lingerie under her labcoat.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

we get a full on dental plan at work which is nice
means I can go to a fancy dentist a minutes walk from my office rather than have to find an NHS one.

yay for smoking hot women in lingerie and lab coats with an obvious oral fixation
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:30, Reply)

We're not so different, you and I

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I think that might be
a case of overactive imagination sadly
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:30, Reply)

My dentist was a lezzar, and we obviously had similar tastes in nurses.
My imagination ran bloody wild while sitting in that chair.
Especially with the little Irish lass who would press her thigh against my hand on the chair arm. Did I move my hand? - did I bugger.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I have to be honest
I'm generally too paralysed with fright to think about attractiveness of the help
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I find it helps. Better than finding errors in the artexing.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

lie back and think of England

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Absolutely - open wide and it will soon be over.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:46, Reply)

No, you "hope" she doesn't wear anything except lingerie
But in reality she is wearing massive granny pants and a greying bra with the underwiring coming loose under an old bobbly cardigan and faded leggings.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

You've just described what I'm wearing now.

( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I'm sporting a serious lob on right now

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:36, Reply)

lob gape
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:38, Reply)

This is my biggest fear

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I love going to the dentist.
Proper one of my 'things' it is.
This has been ruined by my new dentist. He hates me.
I hate him.
I fucking hate him.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

How on earth could anyone hate you?

( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

They heard her talk?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:36, Reply)

OH I WENT THERE!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I win on this one because he is a vowel-less New Zealand cunt.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:38, Reply)

He's one cunt he is
Tried to get away with not giving me my scale and polish even though it was included in my check-up fee. AND I needed one but he said I didn't.
He's just going to crack up and drill through my eyeball one of these days. I honestly think he resents the fact that I'm not scared. We had to fill in a form and put our anxieties and fear of dentists on a 0-10 scale. All mine were like zero. He has barely looked at me since and talks to me like I owe him a tenner.
Prick.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Dentists are greedy fuckers
The NHS had to stop paying them per filling because they were just doing fillings on teeth that didn't need them to make more money.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I'm going to fucking kill him.
He's ruined everything.
I'm gonna ask for another dentist next time. I think he'll be happy to be rid of me anyway.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Ay up.
Did Vipros sign you up for the OT Jam Band?
It's got to be you doing vocals.
We'll be a scallyrock band, called the B3tals.
14 rhythm guitars so far and counting.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Oh man that rules!
I don't mind doing backing vocals. I love a good harmony I do.
However, if you do want me belting 'em out, I'm happy to do that too.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I'll play the triangle.

( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I'll play the fool.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Another euphemism?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)