Smug. That's all it should take
But I fleshed it out to six words anyway

It amuses me greatly that everyone's having a pop at PsychoChomp while he's not here to take it/defend himself
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:06, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why should we worry?
Do you think he wouldn't do the same?
( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I bet he's totally slagging us off IRL right now.
and the poor girl will be like "I don't know who these people are, now please just let me go...*sobs*"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:09, Reply)

She probably thinks we are not real
and that everything is on his head.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Frankly, if you were unaware of the existence of B3ta
and someone started describing us, you'd probably have an easier time disbelieving it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:12, Reply)

I know
I have that problem everytime I talk about you people with my friends. They ask me where I've met you; "On the Internet" I said. They look at me on disbelieve and say something like "You know people lies on the internet, don't you?"

What do they know, eh?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Bugger all, that's what
I just assumed from the start that you were a 54-year-old hairy trucker called Geoff rather than a hot Spanish girl. That way it comes as a pleasant surprise if you're telling the truth
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:17, Reply)

You're right there
But it's not Geoff, it's George.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Damn! So close

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:30, Reply)

fortunately most of my mates have met people from the internet too
whether through online dating or just meeting people as we do
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Hang out with a lot of losers do we Vippers
Afternoon by the way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:21, Reply)

mostly IT types
a bunch of us were all website designers for the same company before we went to our various unis.

the drummer from my band met his wife through online dating, and they are quite normal.

afternoon. how goes it?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Feel a bit shit to be honest
am using this, coupled with the fact that I leave this job in a week, to spend my day on t'internet chatting to weirdos and keeping track of the cricket. It's nice to have an excuse for a change.

How are you?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I'm alright
struggling with concentration today. and most days.

sounds like you are coping well with feeling shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Ohh, quick before someone beats me to it -
He only feels shit
on the tip of his knob lols.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:47, Reply)

B3ta and Cricinfo are an excellent combined coping mechanism
Also will have the staffroom to myself at 3 so can watch the football. Incidentally am not shaving until England are out of the World Cup, so I'll look like you soon. Only much better looking
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:48, Reply)

how is not shaving going to dramatically change the shape and characteristics of your face?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Fucking hell that took you a long time
Quite good though. I actually can't be bothered to engage you in this argument because I feel the chances of either of us backing down are slim

Edit: so in conclusion, I'm handsomer than you. Although you do work the chin-flange better than me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)

I think online dating is a really good idea
it's a shame people slate it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)

My cousin and his wife (now with 2 babies) met online
And they're happy now.

I've met a few more who've tried and didn't do very well. One of them is one of the sexiest guys I've ever met. Swedish, blonde, fit, a lot of fun! I don't know why he couldn't find a girl. He kept thinking he wasn't good enough. Hadn't I been taken, I would have shown him!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Friday, half eight OK for you?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)

yeah sure
Do you want to go through the pretence of dinner or do you want to skip straight to the raping in the bushes?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Call me old fashioned -
I think a lass should buy a chap dinner before raping him.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)

You're old fashioned

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Ok but you're not getting dessert

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Straight back to yours for coffee?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:55, Reply)

when does the raping start?
I like my raping with a park setting, or at the very least a bus shelter.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Preliminary shag in the restaurant loos?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 14:00, Reply)

She's taken, you silly
You have to go for the singles first.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:47, Reply)

She practically begged for a date. On the internets.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:50, Reply)

She might have been lying
Or laying, liying, liyeing Grrrr! Sometimes I hate this stupid language.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:54, Reply)

it is pretty stupid
you must have such trouble understanding Gonz.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:54, Reply)

All that thread about jokes
I didn't get a single one.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Only one of my friends has used the internet to find friends
She's the only one that understands me :_(
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Careful now,
We are still a part of QOTW.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:19, Reply)

But of course!
That's another world. Still very funny though, and I like to retell the stories as if they were completely true.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I'm not saying we should worry. At all.
As mentioned to Applebite yesterday I'm quite looking forward to laying into him when he gets back
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:10, Reply)

into
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Now THAT's nasty (see below)!
Chompy is definitely not on my B3tans To Do List
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)

I don't try to be nasty.
It just happens sometimes.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Ditto
Although I usually feel bad about it afterwards. It passes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)

OMG I've just realised who you remind me of
Roger from American Dad.

God that's been bugging me for ages.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Um...
I don't know who that is

Should I just assume that the comparison is not flattering?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:37, Reply)

yes
yes you should.

EDIT: Youtube him later, you'll understand.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)

the alien?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:40, Reply)

yes

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Can I just ask, even though I probably shouldn't
are you comparing me to an Alien personality-wise... or looks-wise? Cos Al's got the latter sewn up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:41, Reply)

You have to see him in action
it's not the looks, it's the mannerisms. How he speaks and acts is how I picture you speaking and acting.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I think I know who you mean
I'm less eloquent than that in real life. Slightly more hyperactive and not so composed. As a fucking cartoon alien

Glad you don't think I look like him though. I'm putting that in my "B3ta compliments file", as it's as close as I'm ever likely to come
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:47, Reply)

stop fishing.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Oh, sorry
I actually didn't mean to fish, am just feeling sorry for myself on account of the ill. *puts away rod*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:56, Reply)

haha rod

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Christ, I must be ill
Can't believe I missed that

*scrutinizes post for possible innuendo*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 14:03, Reply)

hahaha "post"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I took a massive shine to the fellow when I met him at the pub.
I'm going to find it really odd when he's back on here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:21, Reply)

shine to shit on
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:37, Reply)

bedroomlols

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:39, Reply)

No no, it really looked like they were going to go home together at one point.
"I've missed my last train, can I crash at yours?"
"Of course, it's only a bedsit mind, we'll have to top and tail..."
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:42, Reply)

pfft, everyone knows 'top and tail'
is just a code for '69 followed by a good bumming.'
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Why do you think Ballroom dancers wear tailcoats?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:45, Reply)

what kind of sleepovers did you go to at school?!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)

I had a lot of male friends and not many female ones, alright?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:49, Reply)

and apparantly
they appreciated being bummed
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Didn't everyone go to bumming parties in school...?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:56, Reply)

apparantly just us
I should have been friends with more girls
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I should have been friends with more boys!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:59, Reply)

You missed out.
While the girls at my school were having petty arguments and doing stupid dance routines at lunch time, I was having great fun playing football and army and getting a good rogering
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 14:01, Reply)

bloody Steps
and pretty much what Applebite says. Just more fun.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 14:04, Reply)

I had no friends, boys or girls
*sobs*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Me either
I went to an all-boys school and they were all cunts

Luckily I have grown up to be a very well-adjusted person
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 14:23, Reply)

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)

He'll read it all when he gets back
It'll give him something to do besides raping.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I bet he's going from tent to tent right now, looking for that rarest of creatures...
someone weaker than him who can't stop the rapeyness
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:11, Reply)

He's not that good at defending himself anyway.
He just tries to be super cool and pretend he doesn't care about any of it. But really he writes it all down in his pretty pink princess journal and cries himself to sleep every night.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:09, Reply)

It's leather-bound
to lock in the tears
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:12, Reply)

If you could get pink leather you'd want it though
(vague concern that Kitty is vegetarian surfaces)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)

no, she loves meat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:17, Reply)

OH MY GOD IS THAT A COCK JOKE?! ON TEH INTERNETZ?!!
I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. Apart from a gallon of spaff, obviously
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:23, Reply)

always thinking of cock aren't you?
I was just saying that kitty is a meat eater
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Course you were
Also: yes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)

I was veggie for a while
it's Wiggy's fault I'm not now. His meals always looked and smelled so much more delicious than mine.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)

It's got a padlock as well.
So his mum can't snoop when she's cleaning his room.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:16, Reply)

and/or wanking over your pole pictures

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:46, Reply)

then stares at a girl on a bus.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Oi leave Chompy alone, he's a lovely rapist.
A creepy, girl scaring rapist.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:20, Reply)

scaring rapist
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:27, Reply)

He licked his lips with lust at a girl once and her dress caught on fire and her eyes fell out.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Can we not bring that up please?
They're very bad memories for me. I've only just found a pair of glass eyes that fit.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:40, Reply)