Do I really want to sort this out ? DILEMMA.
About 6 months ago I was in my local, which I use most days, talking the usual shite. My (very vain) mate Tim (who I thought was a mate) and I were talking about what we had done that day - he is a house husband and I run a very difficult business. (think EU bollocks preventing me from earning any money) So after he'd taken the piss out of the fact I have a cleaner every week and built upon that as to how lazy I was, I then asked him what he had done that day. Response was that he'd done some washing cleaning and ironing, "something that was beyond me" (i.e taking the piss) and that he'd been to the dentist. I immediately said to him "what - to have your teeth whitened" to which he took very big umbridge to and proceeded to get extremely annoyed that I had said it in front of his friends.

I dont give a fuck about his teeth or his whitening, but his last words to me were :

"YOU'D BETTER GIVE ME A WIDE BERTH WHEN YOU COME HERE NEXT TIME"

So - guess what ?

I HAVE.

Now, every time I approach the pub he leaves. He is an ex-policeman (traffic) and used to continually ask questions about my lifestyle etc etc, but was amusing, so, do I try and make it up with him or come to an agreement and talk ?

My husband says its silly and we should make up but the bloke is really a complete cunt and i cant be doing with it. However, the other regulars are beginning to ask why he leaves when I arrive and its such a close community in there its a tad difficult not to get on with someone.

Advice ? (I think I know the answers...........) !!!!
( Tiggy the diver, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:40, 50 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

who sung this?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:43, Reply)

ALERT! ++++ ALERT! +++ CREEPY RAPIST ALERT! +++ ALERT! +++ ALERT!
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! A CREEPY RAPIST HAS BEEN SPOTTED IN THIS AREA! KEEP YOUR DRINKS COVERED AND YOUR VAGINAS PROTECTED OR THE CREEPY RAPIST WILL DRUG AND RAPE YOU! ALERT! ++++ ALERT! +++ CREEPY RAPIST ALERT! +++ ALERT! +++ ALERT!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:49, Reply)

haven't you got work tomorrow?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:51, Reply)

Haven't you got MOAR RAPE to do tomorrow?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:52, Reply)

no, I've got the day off tomorrow.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:53, Reply)

Who's filling in for you?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:54, Reply)

yd

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:55, Reply)

Oh shut up
that was well good wordplay on the whole 'filling in' as a metaphor for rape thing

I demand that somebody clicks that post
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:55, Reply)

no deal
you're going to have to gaz the link and you'll die inside.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:56, Reply)

Who should I gaz the link to?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:58, Reply)

I don't know, have a look at your gazes and reply to the ones that aren't death threats.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:59, Reply)

It's just not love unless they're threatening to kill me

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 23:01, Reply)

I think the idea of your dad standing in the pub like a creepy rapist
while Psychochomp sits at home watching daytime telly hilarious.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:57, Reply)

Pffffffft
I DON'T HAVE A DAD, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD

edit this is not in any way a dig at Beckyjsbx, whom I have no quarrel with and only hope the best for, it is merely a post to highlight the fact that my daddy didn't love me enough to hang around
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:58, Reply)

OH ME GOODNESS! U R SO SHOCKING I CANT BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT OMGOMGOMG!!!
Is that the reaction you were hoping for? Is that what you wanted us to say?

I sware you have some sort of proper autism where you've got no idea how to act in cirtain social situations or know what is acceptable to say.

Go away, you genuinely creepy unfunny prick... I bet you've added girls to your Facebook because they're "friends of friends", using the excuse that you talked in the same thread as them once.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 2:22, Reply)

No I haven't Gonz, you dumb, fat fuck
and I only added the disclaimer to the end of that post so that she wouldn't think it was about her, because knowing Becky she probably would have, and it would have caused another big argument, even though it wasn't.

I do love your pathetic attempts at white knighting for her though, Gonz. It in no way shows you up as a petty little dick who has no idea what he's talking about.

I may never know what it is that's wrong with you Gonz, but I pray every day that it's terminal.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:00, Reply)

Shit meme #1

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:49, Reply)

Have you been raped yet?
If not, then be very careful as you may be next on the list.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:50, Reply)

I doubt it
for a start I'm not a fat bird with Wurzel Gummidge hair and really low standards
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:53, Reply)

I like this

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:45, Reply)

POOFTERISM IN ACTION

(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:47, Reply)

I'll give you some poofterism in action in a minute

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:48, Reply)

I'll only enjoy it if you have breasts

(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:49, Reply)

I have really hairy, barely visible man pecs
will that do?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:50, Reply)

I Like Breasts
do you have breasts?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:47, Reply)

Shit meme #2


Fuck off with the shit memes already
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:49, Reply)

This has already become a shit meme
after just two attempts.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:53, Reply)

Shit meme #3
I always have to out-do all of you
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:54, Reply)

Poofter
Fucking hell do you really think he is gay ?
( Tiggy the diver, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:54, Reply)

??
I only ask cos he fancied me once
( Tiggy the diver, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:55, Reply)

Who me?
I'll fuck anything that moves, darl.

...and everything that doesn't
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:57, Reply)

!!!!!
You are bad !!!
( Tiggy the diver, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 23:07, Reply)

thats what they said

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 23:11, Reply)

all of them.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 23:17, Reply)

Welcome to six months ago. If he hasn't manned up in that time then he's clearly a fucknugget.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 23:30, Reply)

Your mate
sounds like a complete bender.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 23:35, Reply)

Let's get this right,
When you enter a pub, the coppers leave.

You must be well hard.

Or chief constable for Hampshire.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 7:28, Reply)

That DOES sound like a very difficult situation.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:28, Reply)

Don't worry, you'll be more popular than him.
You have breasts.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Tell everyone the truth.
Say "I jokingly accused him of whitening his teeth during some banter, and he told me to give him a wide berth from thereon in."
Then shrug.

Or go over to him when the pub's packed and say "I'm sorry I jokingly accused you of whitening your teeth, but it's no reason to leave every time I come in here. I promise I won't mention your teeth again, or even talk to you, so please, feel free to stay when I walk in."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:46, Reply)

But he's a man and will be insulted by this.
She may as well accuse him of having a tiny todger.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:49, Reply)

I know,
But she doesn't care about making up with him and everyone will know he's a prick.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Meh
Everyone will see that he is the one being petty. Surely if they are asking you why he keeps leaving, they will ask him too and when he says "because she accused me of having my teeth whitened" he will look pathetic.

Make sure you tell everyone that's the reason, but try and explain it in a neutral way rather than slagging him off as that will make it worse.

Or move.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:52, Reply)

Plant some class A's on him and shop him to his colleagues.
It's the only way to make him realise what a cunt he's been.
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:52, Reply)

Really though.
Explain to the pub gossip that you honestly didn't realise he was so sensitive about his teeth and that he won't accept your apology.
Act contrite and upset (even though you're not) and ask for their help. That is if you do wish to sort it out. Which I wouldn't.
He is yet another loopo ex-cop. There are shitloads of them, I know a few.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:57, Reply)

When he flakes out
flick him the V's and shout "Fuck da police".

Then tell everyone what a cunt he is and how horrid his yellow teeth are.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:58, Reply)

I agree with Roota and Kitty
he's being a dick. you clearly think he's a cunt, so don't bother making up with him, but you don't want people getting the wrong idea. So explain to someone in the pub on neutral terms what happened, shrug and leave it at that.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 9:07, Reply)

No one wants sensible advice

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 9:18, Reply)

in that case she should sneak into his house at night, open his windows
affix a large number of helium balloons to his bed and push it outside
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Tippex your teeth white and then smile at him while punching the landlord in the balls

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 9:17, Reply)