Hello, Captain
Things are ok here. A couple of new guys making noise, but the olders are keeping them down.

How is the little one?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:29, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Do you know what I hate, Abe?
People who use military ranks in their usernames. It pisses me me right off.

Have they earned their rank? No. They can fuck right off. I'm looking at you, Colonel Dracula, Colonel Santiago and Captain V. Fuck off.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)

better than homo sesame street characters though

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

it's my real name, dipshit

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

your parents named you after a homo muppet? they figured you from out birth huh?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

You're making me want to cry

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

and people who call themselves 'Dr' too
Cunts. Do they actually have a doctorate? Not likely. Fuck right off
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Then again, TGB isn't a badger
I'm not an ancient Greek lady, Crow isn't a Crow, and although he contains them, Enzyme isn't an enzyme.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

If she called herself Dr Badger, I'd kick her in the tits

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

No you wouldn't
you're small and pathetic IRL
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:41, Reply)

You've crushed my dreams, TGB
I used to have a thing for you because of the motorboating, but now I'm going to turn to self harm
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

hahahah
that made me do a big lol.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)

but it's only in comparison to her heiffer self
I'm 5'10" and 11 stone, perfectly normal size for somebody my age
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

I on the the other hand
am a doctor and am a badger. And I doubt you can reach my tits.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Don't shatter my dreams! I'm getting there!
*goes back to pot of PVA glue and pile of black feathers*
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

cornix cogitas, ergo cornix es

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

"Crow thinks, therefore crow is"...?

...hang on, are you calling me a hooded crow as some sort of oblique reference to the white hairs that are gradually appearing in my otherwise glorious flapping barnet?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

It might make sense with "to be" in
so: cornix esse cogitas, ergo cornix esse es


but it's meant to be "You think [you] are a crow, therefore [you] are a crow"
Trying to take off cogito ergo sum is harder than it looks.

Or is "hooded" another oblique reference?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I was actually trying to out-pedant you on the latin
As the carrion crow (typical everyday crow in this part of the world and my favourite type) is Corvus corone corone whereas the less common hooded crow is the sub-species Corvus corone cornix, hence when you said "cornix" I thought you might have got the wrong type of crow.

(Although if cornix is simply how it varies due to the case it's in then I humbly apologise and go back to quietly gluing feathers to my person)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

OH MY GOD

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

OH MY FUCKING GOD
Apparently "corvus" has the alternative meaning of "one who sucks someone off", as well as meaning a raven
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

This has made my fucking day

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

I'm impressed that Crowsephine has managed to be so astonishingly gay
as to cause ripples in the time-stream that change the meaning of thousands-of-years-old words.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

There's only one thing for it...
*sighs*
*cries a bit*

++BUMDER ALERT. BUMDER ALERT. A BUMDER HAS BEEN DETETCED WHO IS SO ASTONISHINGLY BUMDERISH THAT HIS BUMDERISM HAS PROPAGATED THROUGHOUT TIME AND SPACE IN AN UNPARALLELED ACT OF TARDIS-LIKE BUMDERISM (I.E., IT FEELS BIGGER ONCE IT'S ON THE INSIDE THAN IT LOOKS WHEN IT'S OUTSIDE). THIS BUMDER'S EXTRAORDINARY FEAT OF BUMDERISM HAS CAUSED LIMP RIPPLES TO MINCE BACK THROUGH TIME AND CORRUPT THE DEFINITIONS OF WORDS THAT YOU PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT WERE HARMLESS (FOR EXAMPLE, PRIOR TO THIS EVENT, I'M FAIRLY SURE "BUMDER" WAS A TYPE OF TRACTOR OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT).

THIS GIVES HIM THE POWER TO SODOMISE YOU ANYWHERE AND AT ANY TIME. EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD YOUR ARSE PROTECTED FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE, YOU CANNOT BE TOO CAREFUL. ALL PATRONS OF THIS BOARD, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE ARE ADVISED TO GO BACK IN TIME AND ENSURE THEIR INFANT SELF KNOWS TO TIE A RADIATOR OVER THEIR NIPSY FOR THEIR WHOLE LIFE FOR FEAR OF THE BUMDER SPONTANEOUSLY WINKING INTO EXISTENCE BEHIND THEM AT ANY POINT IN TIME.

NATURALLY FOXTROT AND POSSIBLY BOOBYPIRATES NEED NOT WORRY AS THEY'RE GOING TO BE BUMDERS ANYWAY SO THEY MAY AS WELL GET USED TO IT.

BUMDER ALERT. *cries* BUMDER ALERT.++
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Awesome!

( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

For your own good, get your radiator fixed into place
I have no idea whose arse I might next appear in...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Seriously?
that's awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Haha!
Your name change wins
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)

bless you my son

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Shit.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

According to Lewis and Short, "cornix" is a crow and "corvus" a raven.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Given the above, then
I won't argue with "cornix."

Un-fucking-believable...*bangs head on desk*
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I could be the Antichrist
If I could be arsed...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I don't recall the tale of Jesus going into hibernation at the beginning of October...
_{Sorry, you will tell me when this joke gets old, won't you?}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Make an event on the calendar.
Please
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Notice my sig...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Hahahaha
Win!
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Done!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

You know what I find stupid?
You do a doctorate here, in England, and it doesn't matter what the doctorate is about (Engineering, chemistry, physics, maths... anything) You get a paper saying you are a Doctor in Philosophy. Really? Isn't that silly?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

No, it's not.
Well, it's not really a matter of silliness or not, it's the rules. Doctor of Science (DSc) is a different degree, and is awarded as an honorary qualification to those with epic research reputations. EngD (Doctor of Engineering) is a newer doctorate, but is supposed to be 50/50 academic research and industrial experience.

It used to be that way with undergrad degrees. Still is at Oxford last time I looked, you graduate with a BA even if you do science.

Incidentally, where else in the world is a doctorate not a PhD? I know you get Eur Ing in front of your name if you do an engineenering PhD in some european countries, but it's still a PhD, isn't it?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

That's the last time I give you...
...a free prostate exam, you cheeky swine.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Maybe they have
Have you asked all of them?

You see? You shouldn't get so angry at things that you don't know for sure. Maybe they have a good reason for the name.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

AND i'm not even a vampire
Just WHO the FUCK do I think I am??!!11
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

This guy

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Is he doing a Robert De Niro impression?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I think he's just shat himself

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Haha!
Love the username change
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I'm also a Jedi
but I don't like to discuss religion
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

*snort*

( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Do you out-rank me now?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)

I think so.
STAND TO ATTENTIN MELADDIE!
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Just noticed Wookie is a brigadier too.

( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Brigadier General, no less.
Now drop and give me 50, underling.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

You can't tell another Brigadier to do push ups.
It's just not cricket.
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I bloody can,
now get to it or I'll have you flogged!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Well that won't work will it.
I like the kinky stuff.
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Conduct unbecoming, right there.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)

SIR YES SIR!
*Blows out brains on the toilet like the fat dumb guy in Full Metal Jacket...whatshisname...Bert Monkeysomething*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Not you as well, BGB
why do you hate me so much?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I'm just a bandwagon jumper.
Nothing personal.
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Are you a bishop too?
In Belgium?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

As I own Belgium I can choose to be whatever I want there
You know that little statue of the pissing boy, sometimes I get them to take it away and I stand there and piss continuously for 48 hours. Why? Because I can.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Don't tell me you don't know who dawson is.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Screw you.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I love how much power I have over you insignificant little warts

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Gotta give you something, Bert.
Can't let you have another breakdown.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

the last one is still in full flow
I just can't keep coming up with new ways to upset Becky
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Naw, the last one's down to a trickle.
I have faith, though.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

You've gotta have faith, faith, faith
BAY-BEH!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Fred, shut the fuck up!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

She's little

( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:32, Reply)

and red and noisy?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)