Hello b3ta
This is the first time I've posted from work in yonks.

Does anything exciting happen here anymore? The most exciting thing that's happend to me today discovering that we've run out of lettuce.
( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:14, 192 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

When you found out did you say
"Somebody let-us down!"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Nope
I just made a meat-only sandwich and went about my business.
( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:20, Reply)

I think you missed the joke.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)

I tried to work out what the joke was
But my head hurt so I gave up and posted something to satisfy my desire to post on b3ta today.
( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

It was fucking cerebral, that's for sure.
I'll let you off because you've got a kid and that.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Win!

( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Hit him, Psychochomp
hit him in the uterus so that he doesn't do it again
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I had a hysterctomy at the same time as CHCB's section

( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Hysterectomies:
Not as funny as you might think

wordplay on 'hysterical' for those of you too stupid to work it out
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I don't understand
What does hysterical mean?
( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

it means 'crying like a bloody woman'

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Literally.
Well done Bert.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I'm not just a pretty face
pretty hairy
face arse
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

not
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I don't get it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

it sex
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Oi, put that back.
sex it
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

NO!
it sex
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Stop it.
sex it
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Alright, you win
this time
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Hooray!
Glad to see you're back on here. How's the mammy and babby?
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:17, Reply)

They're good
CHCB had a better night last night so she's a bit less angry with the world, which is nice.
( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Nothing exciting happens here.
I got a bit emo for a while. Everyone put up with it until Roota sorted me out.
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Have you accidentally left your baby in the stove yet?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Not yet
But I almost left her in the car yesterday.
( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)

She can't even drive!?!!?!111!!11?!?!!1

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Babies hardly do anything
Would not buy again.
( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

They cry quite alot and shit themselves frequently
They are one step up the evolutionary chain from Off Topic-ers
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)

you don't even get a trial period?
return within 30 days or your money back 'round these parts
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Don't tie her lead to the handbreak
and open the window a crack
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I love, and miss you
But I'm reluctant to ever wear a kilt around you again.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I'm pissed that I won't be able to afford a kilt for the wedding
In reality it's probably for the best.
( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Hire one
you dumb fuck
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Nah
I've wanted my own kilt, in my tartan, for a long time and don't really want to hire one. I've already decided on what I'm wearing instead anyway (No it's not a Mr Blobby outfit).
( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Kilts are awesome
Just seen a pic from my wedding and I looked fucking cool.
Alright V?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Doing pretty well
Lack of sleep is a given but otherwise I'm grand. How've you been?
( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Drunk mostly!
Just turned 30 so I've had three different parties. Up in Scotland for a week and, hate to rub it in, getting up at midday.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Git!

( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Buy a tartan miniskirt from Primark
Done.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Already own one
Done and done.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)

I wish you hadn't told me that.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Hello, Captain
Things are ok here. A couple of new guys making noise, but the olders are keeping them down.

How is the little one?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Do you know what I hate, Abe?
People who use military ranks in their usernames. It pisses me me right off.

Have they earned their rank? No. They can fuck right off. I'm looking at you, Colonel Dracula, Colonel Santiago and Captain V. Fuck off.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)

better than homo sesame street characters though

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

it's my real name, dipshit

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

your parents named you after a homo muppet? they figured you from out birth huh?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

You're making me want to cry

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

and people who call themselves 'Dr' too
Cunts. Do they actually have a doctorate? Not likely. Fuck right off
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Then again, TGB isn't a badger
I'm not an ancient Greek lady, Crow isn't a Crow, and although he contains them, Enzyme isn't an enzyme.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

If she called herself Dr Badger, I'd kick her in the tits

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

No you wouldn't
you're small and pathetic IRL
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:41, Reply)

You've crushed my dreams, TGB
I used to have a thing for you because of the motorboating, but now I'm going to turn to self harm
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

hahahah
that made me do a big lol.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)

but it's only in comparison to her heiffer self
I'm 5'10" and 11 stone, perfectly normal size for somebody my age
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

I on the the other hand
am a doctor and am a badger. And I doubt you can reach my tits.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Don't shatter my dreams! I'm getting there!
*goes back to pot of PVA glue and pile of black feathers*
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

cornix cogitas, ergo cornix es

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

"Crow thinks, therefore crow is"...?

...hang on, are you calling me a hooded crow as some sort of oblique reference to the white hairs that are gradually appearing in my otherwise glorious flapping barnet?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

It might make sense with "to be" in
so: cornix esse cogitas, ergo cornix esse es


but it's meant to be "You think [you] are a crow, therefore [you] are a crow"
Trying to take off cogito ergo sum is harder than it looks.

Or is "hooded" another oblique reference?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I was actually trying to out-pedant you on the latin
As the carrion crow (typical everyday crow in this part of the world and my favourite type) is Corvus corone corone whereas the less common hooded crow is the sub-species Corvus corone cornix, hence when you said "cornix" I thought you might have got the wrong type of crow.

(Although if cornix is simply how it varies due to the case it's in then I humbly apologise and go back to quietly gluing feathers to my person)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

OH MY GOD

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

OH MY FUCKING GOD
Apparently "corvus" has the alternative meaning of "one who sucks someone off", as well as meaning a raven
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

This has made my fucking day

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

I'm impressed that Crowsephine has managed to be so astonishingly gay
as to cause ripples in the time-stream that change the meaning of thousands-of-years-old words.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

There's only one thing for it...
*sighs*
*cries a bit*

++BUMDER ALERT. BUMDER ALERT. A BUMDER HAS BEEN DETETCED WHO IS SO ASTONISHINGLY BUMDERISH THAT HIS BUMDERISM HAS PROPAGATED THROUGHOUT TIME AND SPACE IN AN UNPARALLELED ACT OF TARDIS-LIKE BUMDERISM (I.E., IT FEELS BIGGER ONCE IT'S ON THE INSIDE THAN IT LOOKS WHEN IT'S OUTSIDE). THIS BUMDER'S EXTRAORDINARY FEAT OF BUMDERISM HAS CAUSED LIMP RIPPLES TO MINCE BACK THROUGH TIME AND CORRUPT THE DEFINITIONS OF WORDS THAT YOU PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT WERE HARMLESS (FOR EXAMPLE, PRIOR TO THIS EVENT, I'M FAIRLY SURE "BUMDER" WAS A TYPE OF TRACTOR OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT).

THIS GIVES HIM THE POWER TO SODOMISE YOU ANYWHERE AND AT ANY TIME. EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD YOUR ARSE PROTECTED FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE, YOU CANNOT BE TOO CAREFUL. ALL PATRONS OF THIS BOARD, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE ARE ADVISED TO GO BACK IN TIME AND ENSURE THEIR INFANT SELF KNOWS TO TIE A RADIATOR OVER THEIR NIPSY FOR THEIR WHOLE LIFE FOR FEAR OF THE BUMDER SPONTANEOUSLY WINKING INTO EXISTENCE BEHIND THEM AT ANY POINT IN TIME.

NATURALLY FOXTROT AND POSSIBLY BOOBYPIRATES NEED NOT WORRY AS THEY'RE GOING TO BE BUMDERS ANYWAY SO THEY MAY AS WELL GET USED TO IT.

BUMDER ALERT. *cries* BUMDER ALERT.++
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Awesome!

( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

For your own good, get your radiator fixed into place
I have no idea whose arse I might next appear in...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Seriously?
that's awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Haha!
Your name change wins
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)

bless you my son

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Shit.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

According to Lewis and Short, "cornix" is a crow and "corvus" a raven.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Given the above, then
I won't argue with "cornix."

Un-fucking-believable...*bangs head on desk*
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I could be the Antichrist
If I could be arsed...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I don't recall the tale of Jesus going into hibernation at the beginning of October...
_{Sorry, you will tell me when this joke gets old, won't you?}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Make an event on the calendar.
Please
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Notice my sig...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Hahahaha
Win!
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Done!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

You know what I find stupid?
You do a doctorate here, in England, and it doesn't matter what the doctorate is about (Engineering, chemistry, physics, maths... anything) You get a paper saying you are a Doctor in Philosophy. Really? Isn't that silly?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

No, it's not.
Well, it's not really a matter of silliness or not, it's the rules. Doctor of Science (DSc) is a different degree, and is awarded as an honorary qualification to those with epic research reputations. EngD (Doctor of Engineering) is a newer doctorate, but is supposed to be 50/50 academic research and industrial experience.

It used to be that way with undergrad degrees. Still is at Oxford last time I looked, you graduate with a BA even if you do science.

Incidentally, where else in the world is a doctorate not a PhD? I know you get Eur Ing in front of your name if you do an engineenering PhD in some european countries, but it's still a PhD, isn't it?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

That's the last time I give you...
...a free prostate exam, you cheeky swine.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Maybe they have
Have you asked all of them?

You see? You shouldn't get so angry at things that you don't know for sure. Maybe they have a good reason for the name.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

AND i'm not even a vampire
Just WHO the FUCK do I think I am??!!11
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

This guy

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Is he doing a Robert De Niro impression?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I think he's just shat himself

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Haha!
Love the username change
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I'm also a Jedi
but I don't like to discuss religion
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

*snort*

( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Do you out-rank me now?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)

I think so.
STAND TO ATTENTIN MELADDIE!
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Just noticed Wookie is a brigadier too.

( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Brigadier General, no less.
Now drop and give me 50, underling.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

You can't tell another Brigadier to do push ups.
It's just not cricket.
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I bloody can,
now get to it or I'll have you flogged!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Well that won't work will it.
I like the kinky stuff.
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Conduct unbecoming, right there.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)

SIR YES SIR!
*Blows out brains on the toilet like the fat dumb guy in Full Metal Jacket...whatshisname...Bert Monkeysomething*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Not you as well, BGB
why do you hate me so much?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I'm just a bandwagon jumper.
Nothing personal.
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Are you a bishop too?
In Belgium?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

As I own Belgium I can choose to be whatever I want there
You know that little statue of the pissing boy, sometimes I get them to take it away and I stand there and piss continuously for 48 hours. Why? Because I can.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Don't tell me you don't know who dawson is.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Screw you.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I love how much power I have over you insignificant little warts

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Gotta give you something, Bert.
Can't let you have another breakdown.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

the last one is still in full flow
I just can't keep coming up with new ways to upset Becky
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Naw, the last one's down to a trickle.
I have faith, though.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

You've gotta have faith, faith, faith
BAY-BEH!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Fred, shut the fuck up!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

She's little

( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:32, Reply)

and red and noisy?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

As you can see.
Bert hasn't changed much.
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Now with 9.4% more angry
and vitamin B
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

9.4%
Compared with what?

That's what I hate in ads. "Now get 20% more softnesess" WTF?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Compared with me a year ago
I used to be so lovely, Abe, but they took it away from me with their inane banter
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:41, Reply)

"80% less frizz" in reference to a bottle of shampoo was the one that really got to me
How the jolly-rogering fuck does one measure something as entirely arbitrary and ill-defined as "frizz"?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Line up cunts from the marketing department and use them as rulers

( Captain V, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

It's all about the tightness of the curl.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

"New and improved!"
well, which is it? New or improved?
IT CAN'T BE BOTH!
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Virtually spotless.
The horror, the horror.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)

which vitamin B?
6? 9?
( ascorbate, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

I like Bert.

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

^wants to get in my pants^

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

It depends what color they are!

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

today... black

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

I approve of this choice of pants.

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Oh wait, you're American
I mean 'underpants'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

I think I've been posting long enough to know the difference.
I changed my mind.
I don't want to get in your pants.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

you so do

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

they're probably made out of hair

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

the hair of a thousand virgins
all Battlestar Galactica fans
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

so, 99.9% male hair then?
get out of here, crazypants
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

THAT'S where it went.
I had wondered.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

MISTAH V!
Ello love *smooshes*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Alright Becky
How are you?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Oh get a room
you're making me jealous and everything
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

You're not V :(
Alright Lab. What's with the new names?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

No, I'm not V...
Further up Bert said he hated people with military ranks in their name, because it's certain they don't hold that rank. People started adding them, I bandwagoned.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

It's not just military ranks
but it's backfired, because he liked mine :-/
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I used to be a Private myself.
Fo' sho, I was in the TAs but my naff hearing got me booted out :'(
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

You were in several Territorial Armies?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

SILENCE!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Sorry Father

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

you will be


you will be!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

*does decade of rosary*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

that's better

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Nazi cunt

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

that's just mean

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

:D

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)

they all backfired
this has been quite amusing really
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Well in that case

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Your name change is making me think of BSG

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Big Sexy Giraffes?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Battlestar Gallactica
Awesome show anyone who denies it is a gay.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

BUMDER ALERT. SECTOR 7.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I meant the new series as you well know
edited before people start screaming...
ncjl.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/battlestar-galactica-03.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

ha ha ha
that's some big image.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Fuck off, size-queen.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

this is another awesome publicity shot
blog.lib.umn.edu/carls064/freealonzo/bsg4.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Hahaha!
Engage - shirt factor five.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Why is the guy in gren so fascinated by his knife?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)

It's meant to be like The Last supper.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Barely Shaven Gash?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Buggering Sam Gamgee?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Blistered Suppurating Gonads?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Bum Sex Grenade?

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Brilliant.
That sounds like a Thrill Kill Kult album.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

A band I've always meant to have a listen to
I shall do this now; thank you Spotify!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Yo yo Catface!
Terribly rude of me, I have been ignoring you, sorry.

I haven't run out of lettuce, but that's mostly because lettuce is shit so I didn't have any in the first place.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Hello meeester
My brother-in-arms, I too was cougartronned by an elderly lady b3tan.

More importantly I've changed my username by subtley changing one character. You see that people? I'm a Dr now and not a DJ. Because I'm a real life Dr in real life you see. Eat that bee-hatches!
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I was going to issue a scouse threat
But in this context it would look like another offer of cougartronning
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

If Roota and CHCB are cougers then that makes me the scabby old lioness that sits in the corner of the cage looking pissed off.

( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Like Shirley off Eastenders?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

*googles*
Hahaha!

Yup!
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

ahahaha
Poor BGB
( djtrialprice, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Actually I was thinking more of Dot Cotton.
She's got that doomed look about her that I can relate to.
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Dot's FIT

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Oh Christ, she's horrendous!
The hardest person in the world to masturbate over.


I would imagine.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Whenever my uncle sees her he goes
"Fuckin ell, she's gooooorgeous!" and my mother gets a big cob on, going "If you're going to make fun, get out!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Hahaha!
She's rougher than hessian pants.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

hello I'm new, how do you do?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)

how do you do what?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:32, Reply)

How do you do what you do to me?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

whatever you like sweet cheeks pphwwwoooar!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:36, Reply)

out of interest who knows what the correct response to how do you do? is ?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

"I'm a gnu, a-g-nother gnu."

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Fair to middlin'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

How do you build me up, B3tacup baby,
Just to troll me down,
And mess me around,

You're such a spaz,
You never Gaz baby,
When you say you will,
But I love you still.
( Labmonkey last thought about having another coffee on, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Fuck off, Psychochomp

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

that'll work

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)