Niggling annoyances for the day
People who stop at the top of escalators
People who stop in front of barriers then start hunting for their oyster or ticket
People who stop on a crowded pavement to exclaim over something insignificant like a building or some dogshit
People who drive like cunts and then act like its your fault when they go into the back of you
People..share yours

If you must have another question, what's the best independent film you've ever seen and why?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:43, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

People who don't pay their bills making me basically homeless

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Drama queen

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

:(

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Everyone,


the bunch of cunts.
(fibonacci_cunt cunt, cunt, cuntcunt, cuntcuntcunt,..., Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Hmm
People who complain I've broken their PCs, even though I've given them 4 hours warning that I will be resetting the server at half 12, and another warning 10 minutes beforehand to come out of our CRM system.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

people who just stop when walking in front of you
people who don't indicate at roundabouts
people who don't acknowledge when you let them through on busy roads
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Oh for fuck's sake Chompy
JUST DIE
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Yep
I've never seen anyone so zen.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

The smile on my face as I typed that was totally Zen
I like pretending to be wound up, it fills me with glee
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I hope you get ball cancer

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

WIIIIIIIIIIILLLLSSOOOOOOOON
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Bloody hell
ALL of the above. Absolutely and completely.

Am starting to worry that you're me rather than Bert or Chompy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

look at this rate I'm gonna need therapy
please don't exacerbate it too much or I may also die in an explosion of shit and frustration.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:54, Reply)

people who have absolutely no problem keeping you awake when you are trying to sleep
said people getting upset when you keep them awake
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

God yes
Ms Foxtrot often embarks on ridiculously one-sided conversation when I'm very obviously trying to sleep and have to be up in six hours

WHY, for the love of all that is good and decent in this world, do people do that?!!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Thirded!
My other half does that. Her life is displaced about two hours later in time than mine, so while she's complaining that I'm falling asleep when she's trying to speak to me around midnight, if I were to wake her at 6.45 when I'm getting up there would be a bit of a bother.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)

unfortunately I'm only talking about roommates
it gave a bit of satisfaction though to see her walk in looking like shit because the dogs had kept her up
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I think I pissed Wiggy off this morning
because I get up at 6am so I have time to do some college work before real work and this morning I was trying to measure the bedroom walls silently. I'm not silent in anything I do.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Sounds like somebody needs to get lay-hayed
Nothing annoys me anymore, I'm totally fucking zen, me.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

you're an annoying twelve year old cunt

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

you really seem to have it on for me, Chompy
I'm beginning to get worried. Should I start checking under my bed before I go to sleep at night, and use one of those rape drug test things on my drinks?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

yes and I will also shit in your pillow case
you were funny at first if a little irritating now I just wan't to burn you off the face of the planet.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)

You mean I'm not as funny as I used to be?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

change the joke, become interesting again.
Alternatively kill yourself.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:02, Reply)

You're really being quite harsh
if everybody on Off Topic who wasn't interesting or funny killed themselves the board would be empty, but I bet they'd still be whining in their pissy pants up in heaven.
God, I'd love that. I wish this would happen.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I'm not being harsh
you keep banging on about how much of a cunt you are to people then you go and contradict it all by saying actually I'm a really nice guy before following that up with some horse shit about how you say really mean things to people etc etc just change it up. It's always the same with you, I don't care if you think I'm Chompy or not just get a new joke. I'm getting bored of it. I come on OT for a laugh not to get into arguments with someone spoiling for attention. This is the last I will say on the matter as I've had enough. I don't want to be super sensitive and ignore you as you do make me laugh but just fucking change it up a little.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Haha!
This is brilliant!

I'm very, very sorry that my repeated use of the same joke has upset you so much, I'll try not to do it anymore from now on Chompy, I promise. I'm also sorry that I contradict myself online, being a decent sort offline and playing the character of a git online clearly has you flummoxed
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Like I said, I'm done.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Glad to hear it, Bobby EDIT Ah, shit. I meant Chompy
but try not to get so worked up in future. If you feel yourself getting upset from now on, just step away from the computer for a while and scream into a pillow
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

I don't know why I'm involved in this fucked up mating ritual.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I'm sorry too mate,
As it's only Mr look at me, look at me who is carrying it on I will be ignoring it from now.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)

shut up, Chompy

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

You've upset him bert,
you owe the whole of offtopic an apology.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Dear Off Topic,
I am very sorry, but it is all your own fault.

Regards,

Bert Monkeysex (aged 28 and three quarters)
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Nah just having a bad day so I thought I'd share

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:02, Reply)

I've come to expect this sort of thing from you anyway
You're the self-styled angry lady of Off Topic
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

And you have a problem with this fwuffums?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Absolutely not, you've misinterpreted the tone of my post
it was meant as a compliment
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Sorry treacle tits

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

sexy insult
makes me think of puddings on boobs
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Dead mans shoes
For paddy considines beard

People in general, in specific small groups or individuals people are awesome, but the whole giant conglomerate sprawl can fuck off
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

great film!!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Southwark FUCKING council
Don't understand basic, simple maths like multiplaying by .75 is the same as a FUCKING 25% discount.

*seeeethe*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

You can't expect miracles like that, they're public servants
Put them in the real world and they'd be dead in a day
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

They don't have to be in the real world
for them to die. *cocks AK*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

But then they'll die in public servent world and no one will notice they're gone.
523689 will be along soon to replace them.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Transamerica.
Because it's about trannies and I have a soft spot for them.
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

you have a soft spot for them?
I've got a hard one.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Small briefcases with wheels on them that people like to trip you over with when walking behind them

Fat people complaining about being fat when they could change it with simple logic.

Dogs that don't talk back to me.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Dear god pick it up and carry it. This applies to all of your points btw

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V9o8solS7M
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Hahahhaa, truncated little beasties. I just saw one on my way home today, wee baby pug crossed with a labrador.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Ignorant BMW
driving cunt on his phone who nearly laminated me to the pavement this morning. And gumchewing, chelsea-facelift-wearing chav mothers with potbellies who drive prams in to the back of my ankles in their haste to get in to Primark. Who then have the affrontery to tut at me like it was my fault.
(berk, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)

But they're carrying precious cargo, so they must have right of way.
I especially love the ones who play chicken with traffic and the stroller. Great parenting
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

In a way, it's
some sort of natural selection in action, if the pushchair gets wiped out by a car.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

The third one drives me insane
especially on Waterloo Bridge. ARRGHAGHAHG.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Best independent film
I think Brick was (independent)
That or Primer.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I didn't get brick.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

+ but I did get wood

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

wood high

^ probably more accurate.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Never watch Primer then.
As in, never. It's amazing, and only about 70 mins long, but my head asplode by the end.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

And even Randal Monroe agrees
bottom right corner
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

It's quite wordy
but I agree, it's the best of the Indies.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

They could speak a little clearer, to be honest.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

They speak clearly
but fast. I got it first time?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I could hardly understand it
Emily's phone call especially, and that's one of the most important bits.

I love the cigarettes with the arrows, though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

I still haven't seen Brick, I'll check it out

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

It's excellent
if you can find a copy with subtitles, whack them on. They mumble, a lot.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Heating on the Metro being on
when its fucking roasting - grrrr!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

and!
The fucking weather! Either be warm and sunny or cold and wet, not warm and wet - fucker!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Well said
that man
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Mmm....
warm and wet
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

hehe!
Good point
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)

I agree with this
they have the aircon on in winter and the bloody heating on in summer.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Spanish tourists,
as a friend of mine observed last week, seem to have a habit of clustering in strange places and just sitting down there to natter, oblivious to the fact that they're blocking up flights of stairs, pavements or doorways through which other people need to pass. I'd find this behaviour mildly perplexing if it weren't for the fact they always seem to be in my way, rendering it bloody annoying.

Alt q: 2g1c, naturally
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Driving behaviour
Why is it, that when some people are driving along a two lane motorway or dual carriageway, they slow down when they move into the right hand lane? I was proceeding along the A90 the other day at 70(ish) on cruise control when someone pulled out to pass a lorry. Fair enough. I dropped back to a respectful distance. but while the car in front was passing the lorry it slowed from about 70 to 60mph.

Then after it indicated and pulled in, I resumed my previous cruising speed, assuming I would overtake the car. Did I hell. It accelerated away from me, until it came to the next lorry, at which point I had to brake again as the cycle repeated.

WTF, surely it would be sensible to speed up to overtake, not slow down!

/endrant
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I hate people who drive ridiculously slowly
but then actively speed up when you try and overtake them. This used to happen when I lived in the countryside, stupid Sunday drivers would drive really slowly around all the corners and then get right up to 60 on the only places I could overtake them.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Alt Q - City of God
and anyone who says otherwise either a) hasn't seen it or b) is a liar
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

bad manners
there seem to be more and more people who ring up at work who don't bother saying thanks or goodbye, it really riles me.

Manners cost nothing!!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Depends
In Liverpool good manners are so rare and so difficult for th indiginous to develop naturally that dealers have actually started charging for them

Sorry Roota
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Oh god
This infuriates me. I was behind someone in McDonalds who said to the server "Big Mac, chips."

That was it. *Sigh*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I know, it's so rude!
When I was a barmaid I used to hate people who put the coins down on the bar for me to pick up rather than handing them to me, I thought that was pretty rude.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:40, Reply)

People who wave notes in your face at the bar
like it's a universal sign of ME NEXT !

We need to stop, I'm going green.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)

When I was on the other side of a notoriously busy bar once
this guy just pushed in front of me, threw a tenner behind the bar and told the barman to get him '4 blue wkds, dead quick like' and the stupid barman, who had seen him push in front of me and all the other people who had been waiting ages, served him anyway 'to get him out the way'. I'd have served him last to teach him a fucking lesson, cunt.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Alt Q
spanish film called intacto about people who have extraordinary luck. Really good film.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Irritations;
1. Actors' inability to drink supposedly hot drinks convincingly. They all bang on about the integrity of their craft and being true to the character and so on, but not one of them can do this basic thing. Hot drinks are initially sipped not swigged.
2. The way Paul Heaton sings "annorexic chicks" in the Beautiful South song Perfect 10.

It gets too hard define independent films as it would have to include all foreign film and that was discussed on here just a few weeks ago.
I'm looking forward to seeing the one about Serge Gainsbourg, though.
(Cave Duck, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

who knew that tea was chewy.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I'm not quite sure what Donkey Gums means, so I'm just going to nod whilst taking a big gulp of this steaming hot drink that's just been handed to me.
and hope that that covers my ignorance.
(Cave Duck, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Once you incorporate all foreign film it becomes phenomenally easy to divine the answer to the Alt Q
See above
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

number 2 amused me
that's such an odd thing to find annoying, but I can see it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Wait til you have 10 people in front of you, not conceding their place in front of the barrier, all hunting for their tickets. That's lots of fun.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:49, Reply)

I have to say I'm probably one of those people you hate
I've only been on the tube once and it was full of busy angry people and I'd never done it before and everyone was rushing and I got frightened and it was ever so traumatic *sobs*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Once? Where the hell do you live?
Come to a London bash...we're all nice, well socialised people really ,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 15:57, Reply)

The bellend who nearly knocked me off my bike at London Bridge last night
I hope he got home to find his wife in bed with someone else.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:53, Reply)

HEY PSYCHOCHOMP
I can has excel help? I was going to gaz you but this way you can show off about how cleverz you are.

I need to input loads of data in the form of times in this format: HH:MM:SS. I formatted the cells to be that way, but when I put the times in they revert to 00:00:00. Is there anyway I can input the times without having to type a colon in between each number, because that doubles the amount of time it takes me. Ta
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

tut, the one time I need him

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)

It doesn't matter I've done it now
you're shit and dull and I hate you once more.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Haha, he doesn't know the answer and is clearly a shitmonster.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

People who
1. when standing behind me in a queue, stand so close I can hear them mouth-breathing, in the apparent unshakeable conviction that the closer to the person in from you are, the faster the line moves;

2. crowd around the door to a bus/train and try to push their way on before letting anyone else off first, despite them standing half in the doorway and half on the step outside.
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 21:53, Reply)