Aw man fucking stop it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:20, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Can't you leave the poor girl
to crash-diet-a-few-days-prior-to-seeing-her-boyfriend-again in peace?
( djtrialprice, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:23, Reply)

*narrows eyes and thinks*
no
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Whilst there may be a sorry element of truth in this
There is also a certain frock for a certain event that I MUST fit into in less than a month
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I did a week long crash diet for a holiday
and it was hell. I was only allowed a vegetable salad with a dressing of lemon juice and only 50g of lean chicken. In the evenings I was allowed a plain or vegetable omelette with dry-fried vegetables. I rocked that bikini though so it was worth it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

In just a week?
I bet you were waif-like from the start!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Well I am quite slim
but this was just a diet that targeted the tummy so you get a flatter stomach. It goes back on again as soon as you eat normally, but it was fine for the week I was away.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:46, Reply)

What's the diet for a spare fucking tyre?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:47, Reply)

KWIK Fit Diet
Get four men round your place with hefty tools, ask them to fuck your shit up good and proper
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:50, Reply)

nah, food poisoning is best

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)

honestly
you make it sound like you're the size of a house. You don't need to diet.
( djtrialprice, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Shut it, feeder!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Just one more mouthful
You'll grow into that size 16 dress I bought you soon enough, muh-ha-ha-ha-ha-.
( djtrialprice, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

But I thought that was low in calories?
SORRY!!
/Carry On Roota
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:01, Reply)

i failed to rescue and free a single lobster yesterday
not even the runt. they were already on the grill by the time we cruised up to the lunch island, and even i know there is no point throwing them back into the sea when they are red and dead.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:50, Reply)

tell me it lost you
like, 4 stone or something and I'm gonna go buy all teh vegetables. I've not rocked a bikini since I was 3
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Alright gal!
When I do Slimming World and exercise properly I can lose half a stone in a week.
But I lack that kind of resolve at the mo.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:37, Reply)

hey up
I have no resolve at all,a very sweet tooth and a laggard of a thyroid. Diets are beyond my ken, but I am going swimming in a bit. I just have to be careful not to be dragged in as a lost whale
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:39, Reply)

my ting is savoury naughtiness
And my saucy new bikini is cross with me
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I'm afraid it didn't
but I can very strongly recommend the Low GI diet. You can do a crash version for a week or two for a noticeable difference and then you eat normally again but with low GI food and the weight continues to fall off. If you can make low GI a way of life then you'll stay slim. Look for cookbooks on low GI food on Amazon.

Also, no diet works without exercise, obv.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)

this sounds doable
although, the problem with diets is I can't cook. Perhaps it's time to try. *resolves*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Made with tiger bread
I had one the other day, and I put some stilton in with the bacon. When I woke up from my meat & cheese coma I made myself another one.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:23, Reply)

It's even better if you do it by toasting the tiger bread on the same griddle you did the bacon on. And then triple-deckering it with lettuce and tomato.
( Labmonkey last thought about having another coffee on, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Nah, I don't do lettuce & tomato
I don't mind them, but it's the bacony goodness that i'm after
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:38, Reply)

i forgot you were a bacon lover
is this your most unforgivable feature?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:40, Reply)

errrr....YES
Although I’ve recently sacrificed the bacon in my fridge for a good cause. Charlie hasn’t been well so I fed her a rasher a day until she perked up.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:48, Reply)

your chicken eats meat?
christ it'll be taking over the world
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:52, Reply)

She has eaten 2 whole mice in the last year
the cat next door catches them and leaves them on my lawn.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)

killer chicken
i had no idea, i thought they only ate corn and maybe lettuce. not that i am a total townie or anything.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I had to save a frog the other day
she had cornered it in my runner bean patch and was trying to peck it to death before swallowing the bits.

She's a devolved dinosaur!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

you should be careful
you might be next!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:02, Reply)

She likes to peck me to get attention.
Right, lunchtime! I'm starving.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)

he's also an accountant.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Heeeeeey
I also have feelings. No wait, they're considered a "benefit in kind" so I opted out of feelings using HMRC tax form CT600...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:52, Reply)

i can get over this
it would be hypocritical of a lawyer to hold that against him. but bacon... dealbreaking stuff.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Nothing like a bacon sandwich covered in ketchup and cheap very mild chedder.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)

what classy taste you have

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:02, Reply)

that sounds wrong even to me
ketchup? Cheap mild cheddar? GTFO
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

don't make me agree with you bert
it confuses me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)

I'm a fancy kinda guy.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:08, Reply)

^ as opposed to fanciable, clearly ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:09, Reply)