Somebody start a new thread, for fuck's sake

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:27, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was half an hour in that shower.
I expected at least one new thread when I came back.
How are you bert?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Good thanks, young lady
and yourself?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Not too bad, ta.
Bit sleep deprived. But otherwise good.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:34, Reply)

something keeping you up at nght?
I could hear my daughter snoring for most of the night, so didn't get much sleep either
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:35, Reply)

No sleep on saturday night,
Someone saw fit to tickle me to death every time I started to fall asleep.
Apart from that, I'm just daft and don't go to bed until the early hours of the morning.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Megan Fox is set to play you in the GROUNDBREAKING melodrama of a movie
of this event
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Megan Fox's tits are too big to play me.
I demand someone else.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Jude Law?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Someone with a vagina.
No, that's still Jude Law isn't it?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Bingo!
I've never met you, so can't really make an accurate comment, but I'll say Lori Petty from her Tank Girl days.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:47, Reply)

After having googled that
Thanks :D But needs moar hair.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

maybe you need less hair
:D
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I've always toyed with the idea of shaving it all off,
But I'm too scared that it won't grow back blonde.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)

I don't know where to start with that.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Oh, please.
Enlighten me with your great wit and wisdom
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:18, Reply)

I don't think that'll be a good idea.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Shut up and/or fuck off then.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Read:
Please don't change, my darling, I'd have to smash all of these porcelain effigies of you and start all over again.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:19, Reply)

That bird from Alice in Wonderland only with makeup on coz she's not as pretty (shhh pandertron, carry on sleeping)
And then Cate Blanchett can play old you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:04, Reply)

:D
Ta very much.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Yeah, in fact, let's do the show right here
Tell us all your tales of amateur dramatics - be it school plays or whatever.
(Cave Duck, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:30, Reply)

this is an awful idea
please stop posting
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

I was in panto for a few years
and I got to be the front half of a camel in town as a result, once
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Angelina Jolie is set to play you in the emotive mini series of the film, of the book
of this event
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Man, that's going to be a rollercoaster of an emotional
journey into the soul of the heart
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:38, Reply)

My step-daughter's favourite book when she was five was about a girl whose parents played a pantomime horse.
At her sixth birthday party after the bouncy castle and the jelly, came the disco. This when my friend Andy and I entered dressed as a pantomime horse and did our choreographed routine to to "Wannabe" by The Spice Girls. The girls loved it, the boys reacted by puncing us and trying to rip the horses head off.

I know what is to suffer for my art.
(Cave Duck, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:52, Reply)

that's awesome!
I wish parties like that happened when you're meant to be an adult. Actually, I suppose the closest is the donkey show at the LARP event, but we don't talk about that
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Ok
I've been in 3 nativities. All 3 times I've played the same part. 2nd Shepherd.

Yep, that's it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I was Mary once, I still remember the words
"It was cold, bitterly cold as we approached bethlehem. I was so tired I could hardly keep awake on the little donkey..."
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:39, Reply)

In a production at my primary school when I was 5.
We had to sing the song that goes "We're all bound for morning town..." If you're familiar with it you'll remember that it has a line "the sandman swings his lantern, to show that all is well", well let me tell you, I was that Sandman and all was not well, I was bursting to go to the toilet, but was determined to do my lantern swinging duty, resulting in me having a "bit of an accident" as we exited the stage.

I know what it is to suffer for my art.
(Cave Duck, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:37, Reply)

At primary school I got the role of King Herod in a musical nativity.
I had a solo and everything.

For some reason my teacher made me play him gay.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Me too
apart from the gay bit.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)

In my first school
I was the angel Gabriel every single bloody year until I went on strike in year three because I was sick of wearing itchy tinsel and they made me the innkeeper's wife instead.

My finest moment though was as Tinkerbell in year six.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 13:14, Reply)

You'll only moan when they do.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Shut up, Bobby

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

I have a tiny insect behind the glass of my screen
it's really annoying and it wont go away, I'm going to call it bert.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:32, Reply)

I had a pet Ladybird once
I called him George and he followed me home from work one day. When he died I left his body under my tv for several months. I miss that guy
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I just squashed bert,
he looks like a dead pixle now.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:37, Reply)

stop your bantering and just fuck each other already.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:46, Reply)

I will if he will

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:47, Reply)

I wont

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:50, Reply)

you ought to be grateful
I'm a much better catch than Lampito
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I never denied that.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)

This is a shameless waste of pixels

( broadsword, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

I might go for a poo

( broadsword, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:31, Reply)

enjoy it, try to savour the moment

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:32, Reply)

It was a little painful if I'm honest

( broadsword, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I just
pissed out the window. I tell you adapting to normal life from student life is bloody difficult, there should be a two day course or something. Think I stained the conservatory roof.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:38, Reply)

PIXEL SPILL NEWS!
Netizens on the coast of the information super highway are today concerned for their future as a pixel spill, caused by a disastrous misuse of threads in the ocean of noise.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 12:37, Reply)