Now we all know I'm pretty candid when sharing experiences here
But I can't bring myself to talk about the worst.
It was a combination of the bloke's ineptitude, direct questioning, and utter disbelief that he wasn't the best thing that had ever rocked my boat. I am red with embarrassment right now just recalling the details.
It happened just over a year ago, and fortunately he went on holiday two days later so I never had to endure it again. There was a very clumsy invitation to some phone sex whilst he was in sunnier climes, but I declined, and informed him on his return that we were no longer seeing each other.

There's only one person I can ever imagine sharing the full story with, and I just might, for giggles, later.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:28, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I look forward to hearing it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

You really don't want to

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:31, Reply)

you are probably right

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

How are you anyway Our Kid?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

better today
need to get on with some work though!

how are you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Needing to get on with some work.
I hate it though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I'm hurt
and interested.

Genuinely though, that sounds absolutely awful
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I still have a red face and it's been ten minutes
And we all know how unembarrassable I am.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

haha still interested

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Not very by the groping reaction
:P
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Haha, that was indignation, not embarrassment!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

direct questioning?
like:
"did you come then?"
"how many times did you come?"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

It didn't get that far
Oh God Chomp, I just really can't explain how crap it was.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

"What's wrong is my cock too big?"

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

No, bless him

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

oh god, I've had that happen.
it's awful. I hate it. It's incredibly embarrassing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Please fill out this short questionaire.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

*cringe*

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I demand marks out of 10!
And a short paragraph of feedback detailing how I can improve in future.
(berk, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

-1
screaming ten hail marys while thrusting yourself inside me really is not a turn on. At all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

O_o

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I was kidding on the hail mary bit...

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

damn
I quite enjoyed thinking there was someone who genuinely did that
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

nah my worst sex is not something I'd go into.
the second worst sex however, I almost burst out giggling halfway through. He was pulling this face and I don't know if he knew he was doing it but combined with his total lack of technique, I really struggled not to laugh. I didn't, but god I was close to...
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Good thing you didn't ...
or you would have felt even worse once you realised that he'd suffered a mild stroke.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:30, Reply)

this is probably true.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I might just say "comments?" after I next have sex.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I'm going to make a button that says "I Like This"
And invite them to click it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

"how did you DO that?"

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I've attached a feedback box to my headboard
with a sheaf of forms and a pen on a chain
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I say "Next!"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Look, I was under a lot of stress at the time, can we just drop it?
Haha
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

He wouldn't drop it
He followed me around for months and even bought me a book, spelling my name wrong and using bad grammar on the note he wrote inside.
The spelling and grammar annoyed me more than the bad sex.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

And rightly so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I know my grammar and spelling leaves something to be desired but....
When I went on the dating sites I ignored anyone who couldn't be bothered to proof read their profile and left all the mistakes in it.
( girlinthehole, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I do the same with CVs.
I've binned hundreds if not thousands of the fuckers over the years.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

a guy I really fancied texted me with "sweet dream's"
that's when I knew I could never love him.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

ew

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I'd have gone round his house with a claw hammer
and caved his fucking skull in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

And that's what we call a mild overreaction Monty
now take your pills.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

More pharmaceuticals ...
may not be the answer here.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

www.gwscomic.com/GWS849.html
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I knew you'd agree
he also came to my pub and said "But I never got to show you my car! Come outside..." and proceeded to show me his car, opening the door to show me the inside of the door with a soft drink in the storage pocket.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

What a catch.
You fucked up there, didn't you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I've regretted it every day since
It was one of those VW gangster-wagons with smoked windows.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

WOW.
Did it have a UV light underneath the car like the Bethnal Green Asian 'massive'? They're all junior estate agents with those footballer enormous ties, and who bathe nightly in Blue Stratos.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Unfortunately I never got to see it by moonlight
He did drive past my house one night and call me from an unknown number to inform me that my lights were on, that he'd assumed I was alone with my cat, and that seeing as I was actually drinking wine with a friend I'd missed out on a night-time trip to see the Queen Mary docked in Liverpool.
He's half-greek half-scouse. He wears Kouros.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

What a knock-out combination.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I wish I hadn't deleted all three of his numbers

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I'll bet.
I regret it too, on your behalf.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I love that remember tiny details
You are Amelie, AICMFP.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Aw, I'd love to be her
She's ace
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I only saw it recently
And it's a fab film! She is ace.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Now THAT is a fringe

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

that sounds like Gonz
just the car bit, not the rest. Gonz is dynamite in bed
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Jesus woman
First my other half and now Gonz. You're insatiable.
EDIT: And my BFF as well!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I'm just trying to make Vipros jealous

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

she has good taste though

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I'll give you that

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Have you seen Angry Birds on the iPad ?
Oh man, that's awesome.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

It rocks on the iPhone4

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

SADDEST of SAD FACES.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)