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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Stephen Hawking says the human race must expand into space and colonise other planets
too ensure survival. news.uk.msn.com/uk/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=154356445

Would you like to live on another planet?

Alt Q? do you believe in Aliens?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:02, 222 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
If there are sexy green women sign me up

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:06, Reply)
Three titties, man.
THREE TITTIES.

May have watched Total Recall the other night.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:12, Reply)
"If I'm not me, den hoo da hell am I?"

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:16, Reply)
I couldn't help but watch a bit of Total Recall a few nights ago
I watched it up until he got to Mars.

When they put Quaid in the REKALL chair, the technician says "Blue Sky on Mars, that's a new one"...so does that mean everything after that is just in his mind and he really is just a construction worker?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:19, Reply)
No.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:20, Reply)
Cheers Paul Verhoeven
Edit - from IMDB; "The final scene fading into white is intentionally done by Paul Verhoeven to leave some question marks regarding whether everything was a dream and Quaid got lobotomized in the end.

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)
no worries
Oh boy, I'm hoping that my copy of the Robocop trilogy has arrived.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:28, Reply)
Robocop 3 is so shit it hurts

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:30, Reply)
"I WILL BE AS LOYAL AS A PUPPY"

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:31, Reply)
Yes but I'm not actually going to watch Robocop 3.
I'll watch Robocop 2 once or twice, but mainly I will watch "CLARENCE BODIKER! DEAD OR ALIVE YOU ARE COMING WITH ME!"
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:34, Reply)
Robocop is a brilliant film
so many great quotes. It also stars the actor who plays the devil in Reaper.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:37, Reply)
Total Recall is one of my all time favourite films.

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Get your ass to Mars!
By which I mean "Ghet yeor azz to Marzz!"
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:43, Reply)
And pull a gob-stopper out of your nose!
Love it!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:46, Reply)
same here, along with The Running Man.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:49, Reply)
Another Schwarzenegger classic
Excellent stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:05, Reply)
Extra-terrestrial life yes
Little green men and Mexicans, no.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:07, Reply)
oooh this makes me very angry

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:16, Reply)
Whyyy?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:21, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)
Oh
I seee! I thought you were taking offence to the Mexican comment :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)
I thought it might not come across very well if you're not on that wavelength
but I say that all the time so it was the first thing I thought of.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:36, Reply)
What's so special about the survival of the human race?
If we can't look after the one we've got we shouldn't be allowed another one.
(berk, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:10, Reply)
if we have the ability to get to and use another one then as long as it doesn't hurt anyone
then why not fuck this one up?

the universe doesn't care.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:11, Reply)
but with that logic you are punishing the children for the sins of their fathers?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:16, Reply)
Have you seen those children?
They're right little cunts.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:21, Reply)
The sad thing is Al you're fucking right
I am embracing nihilism.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:25, Reply)
I'd love to live on another planet
as long as it didn't take long to get there, it was safe and there were surfable waves.

I can't believe that in a universe so vast that we are the only life. Even in our galaxy.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:10, Reply)
If they said "we're looking for people to colonise another planet"
I would sign up in a fucking second.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:11, Reply)
that's only because you think "colonise"
means "fuck up the arse"

apologies, that was funnier in my head
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:12, Reply)
Your head is shit.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:12, Reply)
I just snorted smoothie laughing.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:13, Reply)
That's still quite good though.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:13, Reply)
I was thinking that it would be because an important part of colonising
would be populating and he probably has more chance when there are only a few other men around.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:17, Reply)
Chompy would be no good then surely
as he isn't going to get a lot of populating done bumming everyone is he?

you're still mean.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:20, Reply)
sorry Bobbychomp
I'm sure you have lots of luck with the ladies
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:33, Reply)
huh? I said you were mean for the pressure washer comment!
nevermind like I said before your logic renders me borderline retarded.

Kudos for BobbyChomp. Like that.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:37, Reply)
you gazzed me to say that if Bobbychomp caught on you would be upset.
I'm a girl, I remember everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:03, Reply)
A boy can change his mind
I am fickle at the best of times.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:15, Reply)

f t
le
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:25, Reply)
?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 17:18, Reply)
I may be wrong on this
but up the arse generally doesn't lead to increased population
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:21, Reply)
If anything it leads to a decreased population
AIDSlol
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:30, Reply)
same
though I doubt they'd accept me because I have no useful skills
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:02, Reply)
nothing lasts forever...I'm fairly certain my science teacher told me the sun was going to blow up in like 2 billion years
alt: it'd be foolish not to
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:13, Reply)
more like a billion, unless you went to school a billion years ago.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:14, Reply)
When I said "like" I clearly meant, I think but I'm not sure it was so long ago that I heard this, like a billion years ago or something

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:17, Reply)
Naaah. More like about 4 billion, I think.
Either way, none of us will be here.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:20, Reply)
yeah, so shut the fuck up chompy

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:21, Reply)
You want me to bitch slap him next time he turns up uninvited to one of my parties?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:22, Reply)
I want you to punch him so his glasses fall off then I want you to stomp on them.
Like a REAL bully would do.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:28, Reply)
:( glasses are expensive.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:29, Reply)
You'd better start saving up for some new ones then.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)
well stop being a know-it-all twat and maybe you can keep them safe

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:34, Reply)
I'm totally looking forward to doing this
After I've stomped his glassess, while he's crawling on the floor trying to find them by touch I'm going to nod my head like yeah, move my hips like yeah and totally throw a party in the USA.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:29, Reply)
In a billion years the sun will have scorched the earth to buggery.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:22, Reply)
...and Chompy will be overjoyed.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I think you'll find that this detailed and legitimate reference website
says 1.1 billion. www.frontiernet.net/~docbob/sun.htm

But I think the difference is between when the sun get's hot enough to burn away the atmosphere to when it actually envelopes the earth
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I think the fact that you chose this website proves you're a massive fucking flaming gay.
Also, wiki.answers.com/Q/When_the_sun_burns_out_what_will_happen
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)
Ah - fair enough.
On the other hand, Wikipedia gives about 5 billion years before it becomes a red giant: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun#Life_cycle . But I know not everyone trusts Wikipedia, so I checked NASA. They say 5 billion, too www.nasa.gov/worldbook/sun_worldbook.html .
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Alien life on another planet
is a statistical certainty. Whether it's life you or I would consider sentient or even recognise is a whole other ball game. As for little grey men with big black eyes that like to fly around our backwater planet interfering with hillbillies? Not so much.

I'd totally be up for colonising other world, too. I wouldn't wan tto live in space, though. I like to have me an atmosphere I can rely on.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:23, Reply)
It's only a statistical certainty if the universe is infinite
if it isn't then it's just a statistical very very likely.

In fact even in an infinite universe I'm not sure it's a true certainty
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I won't argue
as I'm thick where maths is concerned. I was just trying to say that I wouldn't bet against infinity.

Edit: In that I believe the universe is infinite, I mean. Misread you slightly, there.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:26, Reply)
Anything possible is certain in a infinate universe.
And since we're here it's possible.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)
Yes, but that's the point, we are here
which means that it happened once, but it doesn't mean it will definitely happen again. I'm sure it's almost certain, but I don't think it's probability is actaully 1.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:31, Reply)
In an infinate universe it won't just happen once it'll happen an infinate amount of times.
Anything infinate has this knock on effect to anything related to it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:33, Reply)
This would be more convincing
had you spelled infinite correctly.
(berk, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:34, Reply)
it was hurting my brain

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)
I'm not trying to convince you.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:37, Reply)
what a 'suprise'

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Hmmmm
that makes sense. I might still break your glasses though.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)
it's not infinite though is it?
90-odd billion light years across or somesuch
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)
So roughly the size of your mum?
Oh yeah.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:34, Reply)
you think that's air you're breathing?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:34, Reply)
^ha!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:38, Reply)
What's around it?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)
Depends who you ask but most people say it curves round on itself so doesn't have an "around"

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:36, Reply)
alternatively
if you subscribe to the multiple universe theory, it's a torus, which, with a load of other toruses (torii, or (john) torodes?) to make up further toruses and so on
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:38, Reply)
Oh god
I'm overwhelmed!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:43, Reply)
wait till someone mentions hyperspheres

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:44, Reply)
Or hypercube
The sequel to Cube, that's not worth watching.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:49, Reply)
or gleaming the hypercube
with added Christian Slater and skateboards.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:51, Reply)
yeah it is

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:51, Reply)
I didn't rate it so much, although the ending was alright.
I preferred Cube Zero.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:54, Reply)
cube zero is ok
I liked the ending of that.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:59, Reply)
I'm starting to feel anxious and depressed
We'll have to leave it here I'm afraid.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:52, Reply)
More universe
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:36, Reply)
GOD
Jeebus and the angles.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:41, Reply)
Yeah, well "visible universe" but if the big bang happened then it isn't infinate.
because it's expanding.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)
Red Shift certainly implies that it is expanding.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:36, Reply)
Yep, and that's the best evidence we have about the universe expanding.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:39, Reply)
It's this part where my brain starts to hurt
if it's expanding, what's it expanding into? There's supposed to be quite literally nothing other than the universe, but if there's nothing, how can the universe be expanding into it? If there's something, then what?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:42, Reply)
There is nothing apart from the universe but it's not expanding into anything.
it's just expanding.
Think of a balloon being blown up, you're inside the balloon.
and the balloon is the only thing there is.
and no one is blowing it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:44, Reply)
My poor, three-dimensional brain
the balloon's expanding, yet there's nothing there for it to expand into. No matter, no gas, no physical anything, not even vacuum, literally nothing. If there's literally nothing there, it can't be expanded into.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:46, Reply)
the universe is everything
and it is getting bigger

why does it need to be expanding into anything?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:47, Reply)
How can it be getting bigger
unless there is something for it to be getting bigger into?

The concept of something getting bigger relative to nothing except itself is difficult for me to grasp.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:49, Reply)
that's because you are within the universe
along with everything else.

For all we know the universe itself could be staying the same size and everything in it shrinking at the same rate and in the same way so it looks like the universe is what is getting bigger.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:51, Reply)
The worst thing about all this
is that I'm actually quite bright. Just apparently rather linear.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:54, Reply)
you can't much more mind-boggling than what we are discussing
I just happen to like wrapping my mind around this sort of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:56, Reply)
Ok, how about thinking about it as there's no more stuff in the universe, that stuff stays the same
but that stuff is getting further apart.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:00, Reply)
that's a better way of looking at it
the universe doesn't have outer limits, it goes on for ever, and everything that is in it started in the same place and is spreading out.

I foresee a "but how can it be infinite?" question coming on
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:03, Reply)
what's outside the balloon?
I appreciate I am struggling with this basic concept but how can somethign expand into nothing??????
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:47, Reply)
you aren't going to get a better explanation than "because it can"
we don't and very probably will never know what is outside the universe. Nor does it have any bearing on anything.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:48, Reply)
it must be God
your logic and science have turned me to religion! I hope you are happy you fucks.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:52, Reply)
this whole thread is making my brain cells bang into each other
like when you're hungover and walk into doorframes
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:05, Reply)
"finite but unbounded"
At the risk of sounding like Doc Brown, it's difficult for us to think sufficiently-dimensionally. Here's the analogy I first heard.

Imagine beings who can only perceive two dimensions, living on the surface of a large sphere, so to them the world appears flat, but however far they go, they never fall off the edge. Strange.

We, on the other hand, are able to appreciate the fact that there's a third dimension. So we know what's really going on.

Just add a dimension or two, and you have us, and our appreciation of the Universe.

I think. (Though it makes my brain hurt.)
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:08, Reply)
I read that explanation again very recently
it's a good one.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:14, Reply)
I think I'm going to be sick
I just can't handle stuff like that. I think I might be inbred or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:15, Reply)
Really?
That's very nearly as big as my cock.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:36, Reply)
You are assuming that it is straight sided and of three dimensions.
If it is a sphere, torus or saddle, it could be infinite, as in having no boundaries.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:44, Reply)
GIven sufficient time, it is likely that life on another world will evolve as it does on ours.
The physiology will be different, but intelegance should still be a successful evolutionary trait, and being able to see at wavelengths given out by the supporting star will be good too. Life, when found should be recognisible to humans. Basically anything from Star trek/ wars will be on the cards.

Except Jarjar Binks. No self-respecting planet would support life as annoying as that.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:41, Reply)
Great display of 'intelegance', Bartles...

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:47, Reply)
I'm on the fly and my spelling is crap anyway.
Not whimsical like Gonzo's
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:48, Reply)
the sun is a mass of incandescent gas;
a gigantic nuclear furnace.

Trufax
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)
Thanks for that

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:36, Reply)
:(
I was only trying to join in
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:37, Reply)
Then I'm sorry
*clears throat*
I like the word 'incandescent'!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:43, Reply)
it's a song!
I wasn't just being a spack
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JdWlSF195Y
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:47, Reply)
I only know 'Birdhouse in your soul' by them

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:48, Reply)
They're awesome
they have loads of awesome songs. I think the sun one is part of a load of kids songs they did
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:49, Reply)
tell us about the moon
your moon, more specifically
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:38, Reply)
that's not my moon

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:50, Reply)
It's a trap!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:50, Reply)
Your MOON
*smacks your arse*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:54, Reply)
ooh nurse!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:05, Reply)
Nah
I'll just live in an alternative reality - the one where I'm rich.

Aliens? Why not - I don't understand electricity if I'm being entirely honest so there is plenty more that's possible which I can't explain or understand.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:44, Reply)
I don't understand electricity either
I think it's fucking magic. It's been explained to me so many times, but every times but every time someone explains a bit and I say "but why does that happen" so they explain that, so I ask why that happens, etc, until they end with "because it just does".
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:48, Reply)
has anyone clever tried to explain it?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:49, Reply)
yeah
there was this one guy at my school who used to explain things in Kitty Speak to me so I would get them. Like aeroplanes and vacuum cleaners. But even he couldn't make me understand. I get the fundamentals of it but I just don't get how it happens, or maybe more why.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Why do we need to have it explained?
Obviously it's important for someone to know how it works, but I don't need to know.
I know how to use it and how to wire a plug. All I need.
Who needs to know WTF Virginia Woolf was on about? Me.
Selective knowledge FTW.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:52, Reply)
you don't need to
but kitty was saying that people have tried and not succeeded so was wondering where the problem lay.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:54, Reply)
somewhere between my ears and my brain probably
derpbelmdribble
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:55, Reply)
PEBKAC

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:58, Reply)
I thought it was POBKAC
problem occurs between keyboard and chair. What's the E?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:59, Reply)
Exists?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:05, Reply)
It is 'exists'

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:05, Reply)
Exists

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:06, Reply)
WTF was she on about, then?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:55, Reply)
yeah that's how I feel
it bugs me when people say that you should know how something works before you use it. I bet they couldn't build the car they drive, or sew the clothes they wear.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:55, Reply)
yeah, fuck that
as long as you know how to use it

there are some things where it is advisable to know how it works, so you can sort it if it goes wrong, or use it in the appropriate way, but that doesn't apply to a lot of things.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:57, Reply)
My driving instructor told me how to change a wheel
and then asked me to describe it back to him. I was like "I open my phone, I ring AA, I wait". I know how to change a tyre, but I can't physically bloody do it, especially when they've put the wheel nut thingies on with a drill.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:00, Reply)
last time I tried to do one myself I did something to my back
and almost blacked out, on my own, in a cul-de-sac in one of the dodgiest parts of Cardiff.

Bugger doing that again.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:01, Reply)
in a cul-de-sac?
that's so ghetto.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:05, Reply)
it was full of scum

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:08, Reply)
have you seen the Antoine Dodson meme?
It made me laugh so much. "they rapin e'rybody out here!"
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:18, Reply)
I've done it myself a couple of times
And changed the car battery.
Thank god I now have AA membership.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:07, Reply)
Because it's interesting?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:59, Reply)
not to everyone
and nor should it be.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:00, Reply)
only to some.
I find some science fascinating, but when you get down to really technical stuff I get bored.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Well you if you keep asking questions like you say you do up there
then you'll get to the technical stuff and then to the maths.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:02, Reply)
that's the problem
maths evades me, which is pretty lame because I'm supposed to be all clever and shit. I had to get Wiggy to help me with my drafting work last night because I just couldn't figure out why some stuff in the room plan I was drawing didn't add up. I think it's when maths and logic are combined.

Don't get me started on Sudoku. When I do it on the train I try and pretend I'm doing the crossword so no one notices how fucking long it takes me. 5 minutes? Yeah maybe for Stephen Hawking!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:07, Reply)
I'm good at maths, and I enjoy it
but I don't even want to try Sudoku. Doesn't appeal to me in the slightest.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:09, Reply)
Sudoku is about logic
You can do it with letters of symbols. No need for mathematical ability.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:13, Reply)
that is true
Strangely, given the way my brain works, I don't tend to enjoy logic puzzles particularly.

I prefer crosswords and things.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:15, Reply)
Logic puzzles I can do
Cryptic crosswords baffle me until I see the solution and then I'm amazed I didn't get it. It's a certain way of thinking.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:18, Reply)
my mum's really good at cryptic crosswords
I'm a fucking whiz at join the dots.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:20, Reply)
it helps to know the way the crossword writer works
unfortunately the only cryptic one I know the system for is the one in the Sun. It is the best thing in the paper though, by a long way.

Other than breasts obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:22, Reply)
Not everything is interesting
I really can't get excited at the thought of car maintenance for example. Most people feel the same about poetry whereas I love it.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:02, Reply)
I disagree, everything can be interesting it depends how it is presented.
edit: everything new stuff you already know doesn't count.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:04, Reply)
I suppose this is true to an extent
I had a physics teacher at school who made rainbows dull, but a Latin teacher who made it fun.

It depends on your audience though, I'm sure you wouldn't find it very interesting to know the different ways of constructing a corset.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:09, Reply)
No, but I know the best way of getting a woman out of one

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:11, Reply)
Put a dead mouse down the back?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:12, Reply)
If you can fit a dead mouse down the back
They're wearing it wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:14, Reply)
Thanks Literal boy
you've ruined my joke.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:14, Reply)
You're welcome!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:15, Reply)
Maybe, but some things are just going to have a passing interest
Rather like going to a museum - 'Oh, that's interesting' and then you move on to the next case.
I'm never, ever going to be queuing up outside Maplins waiting to buy bits to build a new solenoid.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:09, Reply)
I don't even know what a solenoid is

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:21, Reply)
Here
you go
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:22, Reply)
Wikipedia?
You mean WIKILIES! Yesterday it said Russ Abbott was dead. I was sad until I realised that's where it was from.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:27, Reply)
I doubt the world is going to lie about solenoids on wikipedia
I do like looking at the edit history for some articles though, like when people vandalised Anjem Choudhury's wiki article, so it simply says "Anjem Choudhury is a cunt."
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:31, Reply)
Yep.
GCSE physics classes were like that for me. I had it all explained but when it comes down to it electricity is magic - I can't see it, smell it or touch it (without DEATH) but it lets me talk bollocks to people all over the world. Magic I says!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:51, Reply)
it's like tiny marbles being push through a little hosepipe

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Stephen Fry
Nod of approval.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:53, Reply)
I remember having that explanation!
It still doesn't explain how it makes a telephone work, a light illuminate, a laptop work and so on.
And to be perfectly honest, I'm not that bothered. :)
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:54, Reply)
making a light work is easy
the other stuff is more complicated, but telephones aren't all that hard. Computers I am less sure on.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:55, Reply)
As far as I understand, it's all permutations of switches
Millions and billions of switches.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:57, Reply)
I think that's the problem
once you get to that many things going on at once I lose the ability to understand on anything more than a basic level.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:58, Reply)
I understand the absolute basics (about switches)
And can read a binary clock, but then there's a biiiiiig gap in my knowledge up until everyday stuff and work stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:00, Reply)
that's the thing
I get all that, but it's sort of mindblowing, for want of a better word, to think that on/off switches can develop into something as amazing as an artificially intelligent game.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:02, Reply)
Oh I agree it is mindblowing
And saddening when all that knowledge and power is used to make a CGI baby dance about.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:04, Reply)
Made starcraft 2 as well.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:07, Reply)
and the Sims 3 :D

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:09, Reply)
To be honest I'm making sweeping statements
I remember heating filaments and conductors and magnetic coils - all that sciencey stuff. It just didn't get me excited during physics. The teacher would never discuss black holes with me - that was what I wanted to know about. Quantum physics and the multiverse theories are fascinating but WiFi baffles me.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:58, Reply)
that's because most physics teachers are shit
and boring.

electronics never interested me either. I'm shit at it.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:00, Reply)
My physics teacher was great.
He was the radar operator on a Fairey Swordfish, and told us loads of stories while he tried to make all the bits he had nicked from the navy, work.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:04, Reply)
mine was shit
she was fresh out a PhD in something completely useless and thought she was the shit.

Mrs V's sister is an a-level physics teacher, and as lovely as she is, I'm not overly sure on her abilities. I had to explain to her why stuff floats. Pretty fundamental I would've thought.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:07, Reply)
The stuff I learnt at GCSE was not that more complicated that the things I've had to teach
when I taught nine year olds. Or maybe I was that crap at Physics I only had the grasp of an average nine year old...
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:11, Reply)
If you stop ejaculating in the bath
You won't have to explain again.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:12, Reply)
my first one was fucking fit. God he was hot.
The second one was dreadful, he made the universe boring.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:10, Reply)
my first one in secondary school
taught us both physics and chemistry. He hated me. It was an unfortunate incident that caused the dislike.

He winked at me, and unsure of what the hell to do, I think I winked back. Sadly for me it was the result of a twitch on his part
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:13, Reply)
do you live in a sitcom?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:21, Reply)
There was no laugh track
to that incident sadly
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:44, Reply)
I don't get the internet either
I understand how it works, but I still find it incomprehensible, like giant numbers. I don't get how something like electronic switches can turn into a game like GTA.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:54, Reply)
YES!
Let's rise up and be honest!
We know fuck all about PHYSICS!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:55, Reply)
You know what else I don't get? (at the risk of angering the Chomp)
Reaction. Everything having an equal reaction. Why does it? Why? We learned it by pushing on a wall when standing on a skateboard. But HOW? How does the wall push back? ARGH!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:11, Reply)
The wall pushes back because it enjoys it.

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:12, Reply)
the skateboard/wall thing doesn't seem like a good way of explaining it to me
the wall isn't pushing back, and that's not what the action-reaction law means.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Timothy Leary said the same thing decades ago.
something to do with S.M.I(squared).L.E - 'space migration, increase intelligence, life extension'.

He was fucking nuts, mind.

Alt: I live in the East End, it's chock full of them.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:45, Reply)
London is full of little green men?
I want to know who your dealer is...
(berk, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:50, Reply)
Oh God
You've made me picture Monty as someone wittily wearing a "Take me to your dealer" tshirt.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Hahah how fucking dare you?
My favourite one from the 80s was 'Adihash - gives you speed'.

Clearly designed by and worn by people with no experience of hashish whatsoever....
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:54, Reply)
People thought they were so cool, so anarchic
Most of the time it was students who wore them.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:56, Reply)
During the 'rave' era
when the nation's peasantry suddenly took to drugs en masse such garments were suddenly everywhere.

Most embarrassing for the connoisseur...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:59, Reply)
I remember, I was about 12-15 at the time of rave
And those stupid jeans with that odd loop and a cartoon rasta smoking a spliff on the ass were all the rage. That and smileyface hubcaps for bicycles.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:01, Reply)
God those jeans were shit.
'Dready' - and then the fake ones 'Spliffy'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:24, Reply)
That's them!
I'm proud to say I never owned any.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:27, Reply)
It's full of aliens.
By the USA definition of them.

I'M BEING RACIST ABOUT PAKISTANIS.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Careful mate
You'll be flooded with abuse for that.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:58, Reply)
It's not racist really, just a fact.
My mate's wife is a primary school teacher in Whitechapel and only has two children in her class for whom English is their primary language.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:01, Reply)
I'm ok with it
Just some might deluge you with insults. You might drown in their hatred.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:03, Reply)
I also might not care one tiny bit.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:04, Reply)
I'M MAKING PAKISTANI FLOOD PUNS
Now I feel like Chompy. Thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:05, Reply)
God I'm thick.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Monty is only racist while he is wearing his jacket of bacon, walking along brick lane.
At all other times he is a wet liberal.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:15, Reply)
STEAL MY MEXICAN JOKE
:(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:59, Reply)
sorry old boy
I'm posting on the sly in a little window on my computer - haven't trawled the thread.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:00, Reply)
Ah, nay bother
Mexicans aren't a problem to people over here anyway.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Course I believe in Aliens
I believe they had a bout of fisticuffs with some Predators once.
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:02, Reply)
I'd like to live on another planet in theory
because I've read too many sci-fi books. In practice I understand that I would be useless at colonising a planet since I have no skills, don't want children etc
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 16:08, Reply)
This is all a computer simulation
and our real bodies brains are stuck in vats of nutrients. Or maybe even that is computer designed.

If we want to get off this planet and colonise other worlds then the poor bastards who are first on the ship have to fucking breed and die ON the ship to enable enough time to get to the destination. In fact feasibly babies could live entire lives on the transport ship.
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 18:48, Reply)

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