Hurrah
The window/roof behind me is leaking so now I get to listen to

DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIPDRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP

What's made you homicidal today?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:23, 103 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

dress sizes
I bought a lovely Calvin Klein dress. Is it cut for my breasts? No, it fucking isn't. It's cut for lovely petite B and C cups
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I find a lot of tops are like that too
It's insanely annoying
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:26, Reply)

it's really annoying
the dress is really pretty. Why do they only make clothes for people in proportion haha?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Cut your tits off.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:27, Reply)

The Prodigy's even-more-shocking followup single.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:28, Reply)

no
I'm not cutting off my tits to spite my chest
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:37, Reply)

:(
no one ever takes my advice.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:45, Reply)

because it is shit advice
your advice should have been that I should murder all fashion designers, or do a Misery and force them to design better clothes
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Everyone's a critic.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:50, Reply)

In this case
everyone is right
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I think people of all sexual orientations
should be allowed to live in peace, actually. I certainly don't condone killing gay people and I for one am shocked that you do.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Except Darth, obviously.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:26, Reply)

'Wise and Wise' are exempt
from any faux-tolerant remarks I may make at any time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I think that's deserving of a
Basil Brush style "boom, boom!"
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:26, Reply)

^ THIS ^
unless they are obscenely good looking gay, intelligent, funny men. from a female perspective, this is a complete tragedy, what when you look at all "the sun" reading dross that is straight as a ruler, and they deserve to be slaughtered as a consequence.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Don't
mention the sun.

Bound to rain this weekend as it is Bank Holiday.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:28, Reply)

It'd fucking better not do.
Carnival, innit?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Are you going?
I might have a look round on Sunday.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I'm taking my daughter on Sunday.
Fucking love it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I'll drop you a text if I'm heading there,
I'm at a party in Camden on Sat, so if I stay over I'll go wander round before heading back up to MK.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Do that, be nice to meet up for a drink or some Yardie food, perhaps.
No weed in front of the child though, I'm afraid.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:46, Reply)

That's cool I'm not much for the smoking weed in public.
Even at carnival.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:49, Reply)

The fear rather negates the fun, eh?
Carnival is somewhat corporate these days anyway - police everywhere...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Well the police being there at least cuts down on the stabbings and pickpockets
That were apparently really bad just a few years back.

But I'll text you at the weekend.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:54, Reply)

The trouble I have seen over the years
has almost 100% been black-on-black fighting.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Carnival has changed so much I don't bother with it any more. Or maybe I am just getting old & boring

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Going now with a kid
means I am rather glad it's changed since I started going.

I have some appalling anecdotes that I shall spare you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I bet your offspring will love it though

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I took her last year
She sat on my shoulders, beaming and rocking to the ska sounds of Gaz's Rockin' Blues (my favourite sound system). We were filmed for the news.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I want to go
but I am moving on Saturday :( Haven't been before either.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Go on Monday: problem solved.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I didn't even know it was on then
My problem has well and truly been Boyced.

Anyone else up for it?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:01, Reply)

I'll be there Sunday with kid
but might well be there on Monday with pals.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Swipe won't come because she's grumpy
Beckyletters probably won't read this.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:06, Reply)

better not do
Biggest LARP event of the year, innit?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:37, Reply)

oh hell
i'd forgotten about that. it's brilliant UNLESS you live within the vicinity. then it is carnage.

/grumpy old resident blog
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Gonna piss down this weekend.
Leeds and Reading innit?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Without a good reason
the column doesn't want to converge. Why? It was working before, but now, no. Nothing. I'm not even asking it to do anything clever, just work as it likes best. And no. It doesn't.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Are there merged cells in any of the rows?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:28, Reply)

No, there aren't
I'm not working on Excel, either. It's just a clever-silly program that sometimes behaves and sometimes doesn't. Today it doesn't.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:31, Reply)

not exactly homicidal but the new Bert is annoying me

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:28, Reply)

More so than the old Bert?
I find it amusing he can't live without us
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I think it's more pathetic than amusing

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:33, Reply)

one day, one of these
will not be bert
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Hello Bert

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Hello Bert

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Am I doing this right?

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:29, Reply)

go away Bert.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:33, Reply)

ok, I admit it, I am Bert
it is me, I am Bert, and as you seem so enamoured with me, I think I am going to ask you out.

Hello Battered, will you be my girlfriend?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:35, Reply)

ha ha. No thanks.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Are you sure?
I am a very gentle lover
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:37, Reply)

It would never work - I have 4 cats.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:39, Reply)

is that why she left you?

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:53, Reply)

TGB you seem to be awfully angry recently
since we're car twins, this worries me. Car twins being one of the more tight-knit of bonds.

Is there anything I can do for you? Maybe a nice S-line steering wheel, with the Audisport badge on it? Perhaps a set of TT alloys (I'm a fan of the Competitions, myself). Even if it's as simple as a set of mats printed with the four rings, please, let me know.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I am very angry,
Which translates into AUDI RAGE on the roads.

I already have blingbling wheels. What would cheer me up is getting the small rip in my tinted rear window fixed.

oh my god you have a rear tinted window massiveaudigaylols
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Oh dear
That's a new tint job.

Tell me about your car and your wheels, TGB.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:32, Reply)

It's the bestest car in all the land
Apart from the small amount of torque steer. And the rip in the back tint. And the armrest clasp is broken.

But it does 75mpg average between home and work and has the best cupholder EVER so I am willing to overlook the other things
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:33, Reply)

I second the best cupholder EVER comment

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Which one is yours?
I also have a cup-holder. It comes out of my dashboard like the arm of Thor.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:40, Reply)

My car is called Thor!
And it's the 2.0 TDI Sport

zoom zoom zoom
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Ah cool
8P or 8L? I'm guess it's 8P by the 2 litre. I've got the 8L 1.8T.

Edit: My car's not called anything, because I'm not a girl.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:57, Reply)

I dunno what 8P or 8L is....
Edit I googled, it's 2004 so 8P?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Oh sorry
I'm an uber nerd with cars.

Mark 1 or Mark 2? Mine's a mark 1 facelift :)
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:00, Reply)

See above
It doesn't have the cool continuous grill though :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:01, Reply)

I don't like those grills
I actually prefer them before they did that.

They've put LEDs in the lights now. This makes me sad.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Well I have neither continuous grill or led lights
I did have a dead fly in my light though, srly wtf
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:12, Reply)

It's AA's job but
Edit: Fuck me they were big pictures.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Huge
there was a time when pictures that big would have got you lynched.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I STILL HAVEN'T GOT MY SHINEY NEW PHONE!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I got an earthquake app for my phone
I now see there are a surprising amount of earthquakes daily
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:31, Reply)

*GASP*
Post-deleting cuntbeak.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Oh I missed it *sadface*

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I still haven't got my chair :(

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:35, Reply)

I STILL HAVEN'T GOT MY SHINY NEW PC

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Computers
Why does my brand new, £5k work machine take 10 minutes to log in?! My network profile is positively anorexic, and all other machines don't take more than a minute, so why is this fancypants new machine doing it?

Oh, I can't take the time to troubleshoot it, because cuntbeak manager put a policy in place to stop us tinkering. Now I have to wait for our overworked IT guy to come and look at it, or put up with staring at a login screen for ages.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:34, Reply)

10mins from power on
or 10 mins from log in?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:36, Reply)

From log in prompt to being usable
A fair few of us have had problems with these new machines, we've sent two back already.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Oh... my bios settings advice is useless in this situation then.
Probably something like an antivirus scan on startup or printer drivers, it's always fucking printer drivers.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Because
fancy machines take longer to load their fancy graphics and stuff.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Ha Ha.
Trusted with sensitive information but not with a pc. Oh the irony.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:45, Reply)

It'll be loading
some bloated piece of crap. What anti-virus does your company run? If it's Norton, that'd slow Deep Blue down to a crawl.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:51, Reply)

NOD32 is the best one I've dealt with
Norton and McAfee are both shite
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:53, Reply)

We use McAfee
Most of the time it's fine. When it does throw a paddy though, it's fucking painful. Some of the update files it has to download are vast.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Being hit by a Paddy must indeed be fucking painful.
It's the crocks of gold they are invariably carrying with them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Luckily you can generally spot them early
you can see those bright green trousers from a mile off.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:05, Reply)

it runs loads of shit all the time
making the computer slow.

I use Avast, since AVG started being shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:05, Reply)

We use Kaspersky
I've since found other problems, and have just dumped the machine on cuntbeak manager's desk.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Fancypants new machine
running 128 meg of RAM.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Do you run VMWare?
This makes mine stop for 10 mins
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:25, Reply)

nothing much
for some reason every single embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life has resurfaced today and it's doing my head in, makes more for suicidal than homicidal
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:46, Reply)

That post about Dr Fox annoyed me a bit.

( WormuIus, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:57, Reply)

I saw your reply,
it was stupid and I hate you.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 14:59, Reply)

YEAH I HATE THE DEFENCE MINISTER, WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF HIS ANYWAY
WHAT A PLUM! LOL
( WormuIus, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:04, Reply)

That is one of the things I like least about this website
it's a hotbed for chippy busybodied pinkos.

TONY BLIAR! CONDEM COALITION! I HATE LITTLEJOHN!

It's incoherent anti-'whatever is popular' polemic and I find it equally if not more irritating than the often obnoxious (but at least consistent) views of the people under attack.
( WormuIus, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:07, Reply)

I put it to you b3ta
that you are just anti-government, it's cowardly and shows a distinct lack of understanding in the world around you.

I challenge you to stand up for something you actually care about and tell us why you do. In fact this needs a new thread.
( WormuIus, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I don't think that the denizens of b3ta are anti-government
I'm certainly, but then I'm horribly middle class.

People seem to just enjoy a bit of a knee jerk reaction
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:18, Reply)

There are no british troops in the game, so he's an idiot.
His classification of british soldiers as Fathers, sons and husbands, while totally ignoring that the taliban are people as well is worring.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:09, Reply)

no offence but I have to disagree with you there
that's standard I'm afraid. It's not ignoring the Taliban as fathers, husbands etc, it's realising that that is entirely secondary to their primary role as the Taliban. I think everyone realises they're real people. I think you overestimate how much people care about that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:10, Reply)

YEAH RIGHT ON Any old idiot can have a doctorate and a Senior cabinet post these days LOL ROFL etc.
Total idiot, what a moron lol.

The multiplayer version of the game allows you to play as either the taliban or as NATO troops. Whether any of the troops are identifiably British isn't really the point.

I don't know personally what his feelings are but I'd imagine there is a certain amount of annoyance at the decision to make a game like this whilst the war is still being fought. I don't know if this is a cynical ploy by the producers of the game or not but at best it's controversial and in questionable taste.

I'll probably buy the game but Dr fox is totally entitled to his own opinion and we can't really be surprised that that's what it is.
( WormuIus, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Of course he's entitled to his opinion.
He's not entitled to try to start a campaign to stop shops from stocking it and using his position to influence the distribution of a game he hasn't properly reasearched.
What he should have done is sent a letter to the developers asking them to explain themselves, he shouldn't have mouthed off to the press.

That however wouldn't have got his name in the papers and if you don't think that's at least part of the reason behind this whole thing, you're the idiot.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:23, Reply)

I had a new locking petrol cap fitted as part of my service & MOT at the weekend
This morning I'm running late and stop to fill up. Can I figure out how to open it? Can I buggery. After about 5 minutes of futile twisting and pulling (much like a 60's disco) during which I managed to slice open my finger, the guy in the van behind took 10 seconds to figure it out.

I felt so unmanly, I wondered if this was how Darth feels all the time.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Is it like bleach push and turn?
If I ruled the world people too stupid to fillup their cars would be banned from driving
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:13, Reply)

It has to be "unlocked" i.e. Not turning freely
and then turned very hard clockwise until it clicks, then you can turn it anticlockwise to unscrew. I think.

I'm going to have a quiet practise in the car park later.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:31, Reply)