Awwww
congratulations. Did Mr Vit C cry?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:39, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

where have you been you bastard?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)

I've got a job you hairy cunt.
I've been at my parents the last few days.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Going to your parents doesn't count as a job
you witless cretin.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I stay with my parents when I work in our main office daaaaaaaaaaan SARF!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)

what a twat!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I feel like a terrible racist
My dentist is a small indian lady. But the person I saw today (and briefly last week) had a totally different accent to the one I remember my dentist having. And I'm now worried that I can't tell two different small indian dentists apart.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)

I'd say you were a pretty decent racist, Al.
Don't sell yourself short.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:54, Reply)

that is quite a worry
my mum had a similar(ish) experience with a doctor the other day. She just could not understand what he was saying, kept having to ask him to repeat himself and she is fairly sure he thought she was doing it on purpose :-/
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Oh god, don't tell me you and the misses have split up already !?!?!?!?
Listen, Al, don't worry about it, me and you can go twos up on a Lampito if you want, but buggsy I get the mouth, I wouldn't touch the sides on the other end, well, I would, but only one side at a time.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)

don't be mean Gonz :(
pick on Ulrika Johnsson if you must
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:30, Reply)

a Lampito?
I love that, like she's one of a species of little creatures, commonly known as Lampitos. Natural habitat: the pub.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Here, we are, in the deepest croydon, this urban envoriment is perfect for the lampito.
If we wait carefully, we can spot the lampito in their natural element. Is that? Yes, yes, we have spotted the great lampito, and if we're lucky, we can spot it's mating ritual, but first, it must intake the lambrini. After hours of watching this fine specimen down bottle after bottle of Blue WKD, it spots.... yes, we're very lucky here today, it has spotted a unsuspecting Chompy. Will he regect her advances, or will he escape with his tonsals intact?

Sorry =(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)

*click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click*

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)

...what a magnificent display of personailtys.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)

*Sick* *Sick* *Sick* *Sick* *Sick* *Sick* *Sick* *Sick* *Sick* *Sick* *Sick*

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I'm clicking this too

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Shut up Bert

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Did you have a nice holiday?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Oh Halibut it was bloody brilliant.
I liked Malmo better than Copenhagen so DiT is a little wounded.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

You should make it up to him by letting your boyrfriend show him some man love.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)

It hasn't helped in the past

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I miiiiiiiiiiised you and your lovely scouse ramblings
I didn't miss al when he went away because he's a terrible cunt
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Thanks

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Welcome sweetums
If it helps, you're the best of all the terrible cunts
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:23, Reply)

That does ease the pain a little

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I still love you
And I've forgiven you for being mean to me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Are you coming to Davros' bash in October?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:26, Reply)

That I am

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:29, Reply)

No Lab doesn't go to any bashes any more because he's a bastard

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:30, Reply)

bastard in fear for his safety
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:35, Reply)

I fear NO man!
Of course, Clendrix isn't a man...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)

My response was going to be
that maybe you should consider coming in disguise.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

AL! Lab is being mean about Clendrix AGAIN

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Which guys?
Are you threatening me? I was hoping you could turn over a new leaf, maybe stop being so horrible to me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I'm not the one that's going to be horrible to you Lab
You're targeting your anger at the wrong person, I'm on your side Lab, I respect you as a person, and I would hate to see that pretty face of yours get damaged, so I'm just giving you some, how shall we say, friendly advice.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)

I'm not sure I like your tone
Clendrix and I, we're cool.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Okay Lab, okay.
You and Clendrix are cool right. Of course you are. Of course you are. I'm just saying, you know, I'm not saying that Clendrix might just be playing nice to lull you into a false sense of security, I'm not saying that at all. You're a big boy Lab, you know how these things work don't you? Let's just leave it at that shall we. I think you see were I'm coming from here.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Oh, I'm well aware
Well aware, of what could happen. I'll just say I have 'contingencies' in place.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)

You've cloned yourself a spare face?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)

It'll be like Face Off

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Nice!
I wish, it'd mean I don't have to get those ribs removed.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Pfft, just get your cock enlarged.
Plus, you can tell the surgeon "while you're down there, I've always fancied a PA but I'm too scared of the pain so if you could pop one in while I'm under the GA that would be sweet".
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:18, Reply)

I've not been nearly as mean as I should have been there,
I wonder if I'm coming down with something?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I always miss you
but it won't be long, my love.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)

nope, he nearly did
but the baby chose that minute to rip his corsage (flowery thing) off and thus distract him.
I cried, but that's more to do with the hairdresser burning my hair, then backcombing it wildly so I had to wait until she'd fucked off home and get my sister to try and remedy the situation. which she didn't do very well.
( ascorbate, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)

THIS is why we were only invited to the reception instead of both. You were scared you'd do a DiT and blubber like a girl.
Nothing to do with us just being weirdo's off the internet.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I still owe you a wedding present. What would you like?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)

you owe yourself a wedding present?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Every wedding I go to
I'm going to buy myself a present. Probably booze.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I'm going to have Schuh do my wedding list.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Has Wiggy ever said
"Christ woman, how many shoes do you need?"
or
"Haven't you already got that exact pair in black?"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:45, Reply)

he has said the former several times
I don't have duplicate shoes though, that would be silly.

It's partly his fault though, he broke our shoerack (by throwing me at it I should point out!) so he bought a new one. The new one had twice as many tiers as the original. He said it was so his shoes would fit on as well, but to me it just meant more space to fill with my beauties.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Em's always buying boots and shoes
She even virtually shops online (putting things in her shopping basket even though she knows she's not going to buy anything).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)

I'm using my phone to talk to you bastards. Cut me some slack dammit
He hasn't replied. Clearly he doesn't want a present
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

sorry
Ooh phone eh, time for mouseovers to secretly be mean to you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Oh my God
Why would you say that about her?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:46, Reply)

oi!
Becky, I didn't put one in, I swear!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:10, Reply)

No one would be that
mean
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Its ok, I'll just re-add you back onto the shitlist

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:54, Reply)

I didn't actually put a mouseover.
I just knew you'd assume I did.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Awww hang on
that's no fair.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Also, I did all my blubbing like a girl after everyone had gone home from the wedding.
I was something of an emotional wreck until we got on the plane to LA.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Hahahahahha gay. So whaddya want?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Ummmmm
Dunno. New car?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)

I had a joke in my best man speech that relied on there being lots of crying throughout the day
But as far as I knew, no-one had cried. No-one. At all. Heartless bitches.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Cake was in tears?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)

That's a bit of a cheesy one
but it does get a laugh
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Damn straight
I managed to adapt it to 'the cake was the only thing in tiers today'. One of the ushers boo-ed me, but he'd already said he was going to. Some folk groaned, some folk laughed.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)