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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's too fucking early on a Monday to be talking about diets and grammar
My dad who is 60 ran a half marathon yesterday. I was bloody impressed with the old guy.

What has someone done to surprise/impress you recently?

Alt Q: Do you fancy anyone in your work environment?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 10:54, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
I was surprised
when someone started a new thread with a question about surprises, when the one immediately prior to that was on the same topic.

Then I saw who posted it, and the suprise melted away like snow when one urinates upon it.

Alt Q: no
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)
I was just about to say this.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
But how do you know whether I fancy anyone at my work or not?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
I can just assume that you don't fancy anyone because that would involve actually enjoying something.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Though possibly not in such a poetic way

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
yeah I would have been all "we's just had this damn question foo!"

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

sorry I didn't read the question just looked at the answers, and it was all diets and grammar so nothing for me in there.

I could delete it but who cares.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
nothing for you in there?
but you am fat.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
you am fat?
yeah but on a brilliant diet plan already so no more tips needed. Monday to Friday I eat the same thing at the same time. Dull but good.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
*sigh*
it was a grammar joke.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)
why make jokes you know I won't get?
Oh Kitty how you make me laugh!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)
My mum is 65 and kept up with our long walk yesterday. We were going at quite a speed.
I forget how fit she is.

Alt Q: fuck no.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)
I made Wiggy walk into the city with me (he hates walking anywhere)
and he set his phone to work out how far we walked. Turned out in walking to town and back plus meandering around we walked 8.3 miles. I did get given 25 balloons by some guy outside Barclays though which was fun. Made me look a bit special though, walking around town with a herd of balloons above my head.

Disney's UP! is misleading.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)
My father told me he loved me.
That is surprising.

Alt Q: If you mean my classes, not really, there's Hot Scot, but I don't fancy him. Couple of hot girls though.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
he told me the same thing

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
He's a manslag that one

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
My work colleagues are mostly women
Fat women. Women who insist on having the sodding window open all the time because "ooh it's a bit warm". No it's not warm, you've just lifted a stapler from one side of the desk to the other so now you're breaking out into a sweat, you great heaving cow.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
I work surrounded by men
Who insist in having the ac on at all times, while I'm wearing 3 layers of clothes and a big jacket.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
the delivery guys all come in and go "ooh it's too hot in here, open a window!"
they can fuck off, I don't come and sit in their van and complain.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)
Exactly
If you're cold, they expect you to put a jacket on (which sometimes is not enough) but they don't think about putting the ac a bit lower, or wear short sleeves or lose some weight.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)
I really want to tell the woman opposite me to lose some damn weight
if she wasn't wearing a massive layer of blubber she wouldn't get a sweat on from standing up.

However, I did steal her desk next to the window so I can't argue or she'll make me move.

I'd rather be thin and cold.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
Oh, me too
Is she super fat, or just overweight?

Our H&S manager was terribly fat (she lost weight to get IVF). It was annoying she recommending you to hold the hand rail for H&S, and making sure you cross the road with the ligts in green, when you could see she was giving herself an early death by eating like a pig.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
Not superduper fat
but maybe a size 18-20? One of the reasons I managed to keep this desk is because I made the space around it too small for her to comfortably fit through.

Haha imagine if Health and Safety included eating well?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)
They did
They started talking about healthy eating, and gyms and things like that, and it was very amusing, although she'd started the diet and it didn't seem as bad.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
The woman opposite me says she's watching her weight
but she eats an entire sandwich for breakfast. Is it me or is that weird?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)
depends what's in it I suppose

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:33, Reply)
I mean like a shop bought sandwich
in one of them triangle packets. She'll then have a baguette for lunch, so it just seems like a lot of food.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)
yeah that's
pretty shocking and I doubt she will lose weight that way. For one it's a butt load of bread and secondly some of those sandwiches have ridiculous salt and sugar levels.

I have porridge or fruit. Not exciting but does the job
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:39, Reply)
I'm watching my weight
go up and up and up :(

actually no I am watching it, for reals. Maybe one day I'll be a normal size
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:34, Reply)
you're not un-normal now!
I have a friend who is the same size, shape and height as you and she looks lovely, but she's not having it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)
Hmm, but it'd be nice to be back to a 10
Would be healthier too. I'm carrying quite a bit on my middle, which is not good.

Plus I have loads of pretty dresses in 10-12 sizes that would look awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)
that's what Spanx are for :D

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)
It's too early for running!
And I'm with Monty, I just asked about surprises...

AltQ: I'm marrying a guy I met at work, so yes, I do.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
sorry I only read the answers

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
Yep, I read it above
It's ok, but I'm quite offended that you didn't read my beautiful post (just joking)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
I agree.
I hate running. It's bad.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)
It hurts my hips
I rather cycle.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
I used to cycle until I tore a muscle in my back. Haven't had much luck since then.
But I swim sometimes. Swimming's good exercise.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)
I can't swim
I have an extra bone in my spine and therefore my shoulders are a bit out of place. Swimming makes it worse.

That's the reason why my hips hurt when running.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
oh gosh that's a good reason not to run!

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)
I think so :)
It's not very good. These days, the only exercise I can safely do is cyclying (and dancing is good too)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)
yay for dancing :D

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)
Alt: Yes. My gf works with me (it's how we met).
We also employ a very fit but gay woman to do our graphic work. She is known in the office as the designer dyke. She likes this name.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)
I only ask as we have taken on two stunners this morning
how many times have you got it on in the office during office hours?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Only once. Bending someone over a desk isn't as alluring as you'd think.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Do not spoil the illusion
one day it will happen, although I have a 3 year time limit as then I'll be a teacher and I won't be bending anyone over anything!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
Well, not if it collapses under her weight...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
hahahaha
explaining that to the boss would be tricky.

My ex once threw me onto my bed (in a non-sexual way, really!) and I put my knee straight through one of the slats. It stayed broken for 5 years because I couldn't bring myself to ask my dad to fix it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
more likely to be splinters in delicate places given how shitty our office furniture is

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:33, Reply)
I'll save you some heartache
you probably don't stand a chance with either.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
Ha ha. The nearest he'll get will be cracking one out under his desk

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
we don't know that!
I have all day to fuck this shit up!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)
I have no doubt you will fuck it up

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
^ agree ^

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)
IRL I happen to be fairly normal
and quite funny. It's only on here that I come across as a clueless spastic.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:33, Reply)
Rule of life: anyone claiming to be funny normally isn't.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:33, Reply)
I have a friend who is pretty funny, but he takes huge umbridge with anyone telling people he is funny
because then they have expectations of him. He once said to me "Pete told his friend Dan that I was really funny, but when I met him I was tired and now he hates me".
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:36, Reply)
umbrage

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)
whoops I was thinking of the character in Harry Potter, belm

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)
quite cute though
wouldn't have you down as a Potter fan.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:07, Reply)
that's why I shoehorned quite in.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)
alt q - yes.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
I'm surprised you are able to string words together at all

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
This aggressive attention you are giving me
has given me a semi
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
that's probably about all you can manage.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
You're being quite acid-tongued today
I'm enjoying it
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)
I'm in a mood
it's Monday.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)
YAY
I love Monday Angers. Let's tag team up. I already have a target in mind...

And shockingly it's not bobbyPrat
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

thank fuck for that! happy candle day btw Kitty O'Grump
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)
cheers BobbyLamewad

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
I've tried being angry at Monty
but he just ignores it so it makes me feel like a kitten trying to bite his toes.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)
Stop trying to get people to gang up on me.
If only Lab weren't on holiday...
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

It's definitely all you could handle. (sorry that's horrid)
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)
Why are we all relentlessly bullying TittyPirates ?
I quite like him/her.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Cheers Gonz, apparently I started badly so must pay some penance in the form of abuse. You know I'm a guy due to facebook.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)
I'll be honest, there are a lot of people on my facebook who I'm not entire sure who is who.
Apparently some of them I sat in class with every day for 7 years, and I still don't know who they are.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)
You should do a cull
just go through deleting people you don't know. Apart from me as I like your daily food pics and links you post. It is very therapeutic deleting people.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)
I used to do that, but it was too easy.
I prefer giiving other people reasons to delete me, by posting messages like...

"Oh shit, that rash has come back, what did you use to get rid of it again? Lol, last time I hook up with one of Dave's girls, no matter how cheap they are".
"Wow, cute tranny, didn't realise they were so metrosexual in brighton"
"Is this one legal yet?".
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)
that tranny comment got you blocked but it didn't get you deleted did it?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)
Yup, he did it again a few days ago, but this time I wasn't trying.
www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5112243&fbid=424540009999&id=516439999

I didn't meant to this time =(((
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)
It's a shame, 'cus a few days later, he posted this....
www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5133622&fbid=425645149999&id=516439999

I wouldn't have been able to resist that one.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)
I can't see either of them
he must have restricted everyone
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:08, Reply)

First one he's wearing a T-Shirt for NSFW: www.daisyrockuk.com/ - I thought it was a radio station.


Pauly Pops Your local brass has her own website? Sweet, I never thought about contacting my ones and doing an exchange of services (for tax reasons, ovbously, try and tax THAT ONE, Mr [whoever is the chancellor at the moment]).
02 September at 12:47 ·

Jim Patience Haha! She is an adult artiste, I'll have you know. I wonder if I can get a Television X t-shirt as well?
02 September at 13:34 ·

Daisy Rock I think you look fucin sexi, and Pauly stop being a Wanker, I am not a local brass you stupid cunt!
02 September at 13:53 ·

Daisy Rock The only exchange of services he would get is a licence not to show his ugly fat fucking face to the public, tell him I have paper bags for that look, fuckin lady killer!
02 September at 13:58 · 1 person ·

Pauly Pops Haha, sorry Daisy, didn't know it was a website for a real person he knows, I try to avoid calling Jim's friends vice-girls these days. Didn't look at the website so had no idea it had sexual tones, sorry.
02 September at 13:58 ·

Pauly Pops ‎*Looks at website* Oh, my goodness ! I really didn't expect that. Wow.
02 September at 14:03 ·


Second one: sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs425.snc4/46831_425645149999_516439999_5133622_2570464_n.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:12, Reply)
ugh, the second one looks like Hellraiser.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I may steal the 'wow cute tranny' line. I have a couple of friends with experience in that field.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)
Oh, so you wanted me to delete you?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)
Nah', I just wanted to wind you up a bit, some people see it as a lol, others delete me.
I figure those that delete me 'cus of that, I don't really want on my FB anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)
Oi PC, Monty!
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post852045
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)
Um what?
I went to wembley with my mate ross on friday, it was nice but not romantic.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
Are you saying that because he turned you down?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)
He ended up taking a girl home from the pub later
and she cried about her recent breakup. Lolz
(PsychoChomp, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)
Hooray for girls with low self-esteem on the rebound
Where would my love life be without it?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)
non-existant?

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)
aww no date?
I was excited for you and everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)
I wouldn't take a chick to wembley
they'd expect me to buy them £7 glasses of wine and stuff.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)
I would sneak a bottle in and then offer to share it
nothing brings people together like poverty.

I managed to sneak in a bottle of whiskey to Muse, although it only lasted about 20 minutes so I got blamed for not being able to smuggle larger bottles.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)
My brother and I snuck bottles of Jack Daniels into AC/DC at Wembley
Our combined age: 75

Shrewd or lame?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)
Shrewed, pragmatic and downright sensible
If you'd bought two shots of the same at the bar, you'd probably have ended up paying almost as much as the bottle originally cost you in the Offie.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)
Shrewd
The ticket cost £50 so I think they've made enough out of me for the evening without me having to buy drinks at £5 each. Just coke by itself was £2, it's ridiculous.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)
Not romantic?
So it was just sex then?


*flounces*
(R0SS, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)
Hahahah unlucky Ross.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)
I was just walking home through the park
He leapt out of the bushes, just blocking my path.
He wore a long macintosh. It was soiled.
He flung it asunder and surprised me by displaying his genitalia.
I was less than impressed.

Alt Q: Yeah, a couple of people actually...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)
My stepmum handed me £50 that she'd just 'found', that was nice
Alt Q: There are a couple of girls here I find attractive, aye. But one of them knows she's attractive, and attempts to use that to her advantage, so she's nothing but a bit of eye candy.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
"She's fit but my gosh don't she know it"

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)
One of my memories from Leeds 2007
was my drunk friend singing that, then genuinely falling over at the end.
OH 16 YEAR OLDS
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)
"OH SIXTEEN YEAR OLDS!"
*fwaps furiously*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)
You would have preferred the friend
I was sober, she was tall blonde skinny and drunk.

AND ONLY JUST 16
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)
Fantastic!
That image should get me through the rest of the day/week/month/year/forseeable future...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)
I just looked through the photos from it
Oh, the halcyon days where it was the Carling Festival...
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)
Time makes fools of us all...
*Sings Turn Turn Turn by The Byrds*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:36, Reply)
*sings 'Turd Turd Turd' by Monty Boyce*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)
Muse covered a bit of Back in Black on Saturday
I assume you will not like this.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)
Did you know the lyrics were taken from a Bible passage?
Did you care?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)
Monty was probably around when the Bible was first being written
I suspect he was the cheeky chappie who tipp-exed out "thread" and replaced it with "camel."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)
He hates the Old Testament, it's just copying the dead sea scrolls
and don't even get him started on the new testament...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)
Yeah, shifting Jehovah out of the way and letting Jesus front the whole operation
Biggest mistake since someone let David Coverdale front Deep Purple
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)
Fake-ass New Testament shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)
I did know that, yes.
(my father used to be a chaplain and both parents are dedicated churchgoers)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)
The more I find out about you and your parents
the more i'm convinced that you're adopted. Did Keith Richards give away any babies the year you were born?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)
I've definitely followed my own path, that's for sure.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)
I find it shocking that someone born in the 90s can be considered an adult.
When the hell did that happen?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)
1st January 2008

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)
haha me too Gonz, big time

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)
*flicks the v's*

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)
I'm an 80's child
This is all I have going for me really.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)
"Dry your cock, mate"
It's a pity that I didn't think of this when there was that thread that required you to replace one word in a song with the word cock, rather than just now.
(Cave Duck, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)
In answer to the Alt Q, yes.
The lovely lady is sitting about 6 feet away at this moment, she is indian, and dead slim but with a bit of a curve in the right places. I can't help having rude thoughts about her, she is half my age FFS, but is so cute.

I'm just going to pop down to the bogs for a few minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)
I don't fancy anybody here
but I do fancy somebody in someone else's working environment. Ooh, intrigue!
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)
I went out with a girl Saturday afternoon
and SHE paid for lunch. Which means I'm winning even more in my lifelong battle of not paying for things when out with doris'.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)
Surprise?
My mother has just told me she's inviting at least 15 friends (of the original 9 she had told me). She's already invited them, and, it seems, I'm paying a bus for them go come back from the wedding.

I'm not happy at all. I've told her in a nice way, but she's a little girl, and she's never happy when you don't do as she wants.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:03, Reply)
Do you think weddings are like parties...you always enjoy other peoples more than your own?
Not that I ever hold parties, or get invited to parties, or weddings...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:09, Reply)
I wouldn't mind that
But we have 30 people confirmed, most of which are family. That means, my mothers friends are going to be the majority group at my wedding. I haven't invited a lot of friends to this and she's asking for 15 places.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)
When are you actually getting married?
This saga seems to have been going on for a long time.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:19, Reply)
Haha
January. I'll try to talk about it less often.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)
That's a fucking outrage.
When my sister got married it actually cost my mother a 15-year friendship because the woman was so offended at not being invited: my mother was insistent that it was her daughter's wedding and thus up to her who to invite, or not...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:11, Reply)
Buf
I hope nothing goes that far. I know myself and I know my mother, so I'll give up. The problem is that her friends (and my mother) are noisy and rude, specially when drunk, and I hate going out with them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

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