my horrible
ex called me out of the blue on sunday telling me how much he misses me, how much of a mistake he made, how marriage isn't really doing it for him, how wonderful i was, did i want to go over and get reacquainted. well, 4/5 ain't bad...

for the last 1/5 i really enjoyed telling him to fuck off in the sweetest possible way. and i got to use a really cool exit line. what a total cockmonkey. so, be glad you are not so pathetic and desperately unhappily married that after only 3 years you are calling your ex and begging her to come over?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:20, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ahah he sounds like a horrible person if he's married and calling up an old flame!
I'm glad I'm not his wife that's for sure.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

What a fucking swine, that's disgusting conduct.
Of behalf of 'men' I would like to sincerely apologise.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:25, Reply)

sadly monty
it is not uncommon with members of your sex!

he has also clearly been stalking me via mutual friends over the years, eg he knew which law firm i am at now, etc etc. urgh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

We aren't all rotters, I promise.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:48, Reply)

well
if i ever find any tiny shred of evidence to support your argument, i will consider it. until then, my embittered experience and perspective remain firmly in place.

ALL. THE. SAME.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:49, Reply)

the ones who aren't evil are usually drug addicts.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:51, Reply)

or gay

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:53, Reply)

or gay drug addicts.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Or have huge noses and a worrying obsession with their chainsaws.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Kaol?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Does he have a big nose too?
The boy in question's parents bought him a woodchipper for the sole purpose of chipping apples and making cider.
He's the one where our dates consisted of Molotov cocktails, open fires and playing cat and mouse with his disabled mother.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:04, Reply)

'playing cat and mouse with his disabled mother?'

You hunted down and killed his disabled mother? What an excellent way to spend a date.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I may have told this story before
but she had MS, so couldn't handle the stairs that well. We'd either be in his bedroom and she'd be on the ground floor, or the other way round (the parents' bedroom was next to his)

So we'd have about 5 minutes of warning to straighten ourselves up if we heard her coming up or down the stairs.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:17, Reply)

am i missing something
what is the connection between the nose and the chainsaw??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:03, Reply)

I didn't want to tar all boys with big noses
so added the disclaimer.

In my experience boys with big noses and chainsaws are lovely, but you need to watch out for both.
I can't comment on singularly having chainsaws.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:05, Reply)

my first boyfriend had a massive hooter
one particular evening we were in bed. it was almost dark and i was straddling him; leaned over to kiss him, and literally got a mouthful of conk. my choice was: (i) pretend that i think this is sexy; (ii) say sorry but your nose is big enough to create another entire human being so i might sit on that instead??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Oh god that's bad
Similar situation, due to being youthful and inexperienced I'd often get his nose in my eye.

My next boyfriend had a large nose, but more rounded than pointy. A very pretty nose. Shame the person it was attached to was PURE EVIL.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:12, Reply)

An ex of mine once said I had 'the perfect nose'.

Not quite sure what to make of that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:16, Reply)

for taking massive drugs
i would have thought she meant?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:18, Reply)

If it really is my best asset
I have not looked after it well.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:22, Reply)

It's a compliment
I think the last couple of compliments I got were the standard "you have nice eyes" and "even though you've got fat, you can still be really pretty. Sometimes"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:18, Reply)

True story here folx,
People Involved: Dan, Sam, Merisa, Rich.

Dan and Rich were best mates.
Sam and Richard used to go out, Richard was a right controling cock, sam dumped him.
Merisa wanted a green-card, or whatever they're called in the UK, and hooked up with Rich.
Dan hooked up with Sam, and have been happily in love for 4 years now.
On the day Merisa and Rich went to get married, Rich called up Sam, proclaiming his love for her, how he's made a big mistake and shouldn't go through with it. He then proceded to marry Merisa.
Dan and Rich don't talk any more.
Nobody has heard hide-nor-hair of Rich or Merisa since, but I think they're still together, at least, until the minimum requirement is meet for merisa to stay permantly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

That's pretty low
and also not terribly surprising given his history.
( Kroney, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 13:20, Reply)