Amsterdam
I'm at the airport about to board a flight to the 'Dam for 6 days of networking / socializing, what are your favourite Amsterdam haunts?

Alt q, the plane is tiny, tell us about your tales of inefficient transport?
(bill, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:09, 105 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One time I took a bus and it was five minutes late

( Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)

It also only managed .3 miles to the gallon

( Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Ah man they need another bus /qotw

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:16, Reply)

That bus /qotw was the shits
Best /qotw ever, apart from the breasts one
( Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Your idea of good and bad
are quite different to mine.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:42, Reply)

One of these is different from the other

( Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Not on your case, I think
As the breast qotw was bad, and you called it good.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I like breasts

( Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Yep, I know
But a whole week of breasts was a bit too much.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:08, Reply)

What have you against breasts?

( Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:10, Reply)

She's sexyist

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I keep forgetting that everyone on this board is a chick

( Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Why do you think I'm here?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Because you enjoy rejection?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:35, Reply)

You cunning hero

( Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Not much
of a higher proportion than /talk I think
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Seems that you haven't managed to beat the pandering out of people over here yet though
There's a lot more of 'oh you're lovely and so talented and what a SMASHING blouse you have on' going on over here I see
( Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:36, Reply)

There has been less use
of the pandatron recently. But there's not much real pandering
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Some of those blouses ARE smashing, I'll have you know.
I love a good blouse.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I love a big blouse
*panders*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:39, Reply)

there's a coffee shop that I like
but given that I've only been there twice, both times it was at random and from different directions I don't actually know where it is or what it is called.

By complete chance it was the first place I ended up the couple of times I've been there
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:15, Reply)

best travel guide ever.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:16, Reply)

I'm not convinced that the "Stoner's Vague Guide To..." will ever rival the" Rough Guide To ..." series in terms of volume of sales, but it's a welcome addition to the canon.

(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:20, Reply)

I'll have you know that I wasn't stoned when I arrived at the coffee shop either of the times I went there

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:21, Reply)

But sufficiently so on leaving as to have no idea where you'd been.
Good Work.
(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:25, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)

There's a coffee shop which does all day fry ups.
That ones nice, I also have no idea what it's called.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

we should start our own version of Lonely Planet

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:20, Reply)

By travelling to various locations
but not leaving the hotel room, only to sob into the pillow
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Bitter tears of loneliness

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:28, Reply)

I like the sound of this guide
Ratings categories could include: Absorbancy of pillows; Number of points in room from which one might hang oneself; Whether the view allows you to watch normal people enjoying themselves, telling yourself that you have a detached superiority, whilst longing to be amonst them.
(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Snatchability of children from the pool area could be in a specialist interests section

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Snatchability - that's the beauty of gas.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:56, Reply)

In the first weeks of senior school, a group of girls sang that to/at me ( for reasons I wont go into) during Home Economics lessons.
This resulted in my face turning cherry tomato red.
(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)

You guffed in a lesson, didn't you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Actually, no.
There's no embarrassment attached to the reason they were doing it. It was simply being thirteen and being so wholly unused to receiving attention from girls. It made me so acutely embarrassed that remembering it now, over thirty years later actually makes me feel embarrassed now.
(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Possibly Hunter's Bar.
Edit, though there are a lot of "English" bars catering to our sensibilities. Breakfasts, and cheap lager usually.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:29, Reply)

The worst plane I ever got in was the one I had to sky dive out of.
It looked like the plane out of Indiana Jones without the boat-feet on it. It was rickety and it shook, it wasn't sealed and one of the windows was missing.

Fortunately, I wasn't in it very long.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)

The worst plane I got
was 8h delayed. They didn't let us go home, as if the plane arrived we would lose the right to board. They didn't even give us some vouchers for food or anything.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:10, Reply)

My plane home from Majorca was delayed by 10 hours and they gave us a 5 euro voucher
the cheapest hot food item was E5.50
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)

That's crap
Did you complain? I should have done, but I was so tired, and there was no one around to complain anyway.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:31, Reply)

The fist time I went to Amsterdam, I remember being most impressed by the fact that there was a Christmas shop that was open all year round.
How crazily sophisticated are those Dutch, eh?
(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:23, Reply)

http://www.waterhole.nl/

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:28, Reply)

If you don't like to smoke
there's no much for you to do. I've been there several times and well, ok, it's not bad, but there are far much better Dutch cities.

The other day my train to work had a problem with the brakes, so it stop in the middle of nowher (didn't even get to the station so we could leave) for almost 1h. I was well crossed.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)

take the "ed" from crossed and add it to stop

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:36, Reply)

OK, I will
But I thought the adjective was crossed from the verb to cross.

Sorry about missing the past in stop, though. Beginners mistake.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:38, Reply)

That's ok it's your second language.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)

What a magnaninmous gesture on your part.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I'm all heart

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Nice
Are you all covered in blod? How do you type?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:04, Reply)

'AWFUL!!!111!'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)

:_(

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:32, Reply)

It's a reference to a shit joke, not a criticism
(in case you thought it was)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)

African Alley
Is a "specialist" area if you like your prostitutes to be, well, African. Its is just down Damrak as you enter the Red Light district on the left, about 300 metres from the Station, there is a cafe called The Grasshopper.

This cafe is OK but at the far end of the "Alley" is a very small square with a magic mushroom shop on it and a decent small bar with a pool table in it.

Directions still a bit vague I'm afraid.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Sadly I've never been to Amsterdam
Have fun though

Most inefficient transport was when we flew to Rome one time and they not only diverted the flight (which I didn't think was possible) but in waiting for some important personage to be picked up (again didn't think was possible) missed our time slot and had to wait hours till we flew again
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I've not been to the 'Dam either.
I feel like I'm missing out by not going, especially as EasyJet can get me there for buttons.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Don't bother going cheap airlines
they send you miles away, normal proper airlines still fly for about £60-£70 return if you book in advance and they fly straight to the city.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:49, Reply)

When you do go Jeff, remember , always wear a condom AND make sure you get a rabies inoculation.

(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I never leave home without one.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I really want to go
and I seriously want to go to Berlin. Was chatting about it on /talk and it reminded me that I really want to go to Berghain
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I want to visit Wewelsburg Castle A LOT.
I might take my brother for his 40th.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Do, you'll really like it
I'm trying desperately to find a gig that's happening on the night of my birthday this year
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:59, Reply)

What's the date? And where will you be?
I'm seeing KRS1 two days after my birthday.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:03, Reply)

9th October
and I'll be in Oxford, but can travel. I just can't stand the thought of having to see people on my birthday it seriously depresses me. I don't mind going out/ having a party on a different day, but not on the actual birthday day
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:04, Reply)

The Architecs are playing the Academy in Bristol on the 9th.

Under 14s must be accompanied by an adult over 18 Under 21s require ID to purchase alcohol. Take that birthday person.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I'll be an ancient 22
Thanks, but if my dad knew I went to Bristol and didn't pop in he might be a bit puzzled
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Well based on info above.
You'll not need ID to buy alcohol, and you'd be able to go on your own.

Why not pop in and see your dad around your birthday? He might have a pressie for you.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:11, Reply)

He probably does
what are the Architects like?

Plus this year is shit, all my friends live outside college, and I live in it, so I won't see them at all.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Metal
I'm sure the kids would be able to tell you what 'branch' of metal to which they subscribe.

Not my thing at all.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:18, Reply)

You can come with me and my pals to KRS1
on Oct 2nd if you like. Proper hip hop - even if you think you don't like 'rap' (I certainly don't) KRS is brilliant. I saw his last UK show and I've only seen an audience go as mental as that a handful of times in my life.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Whoop! Whoop!
That's the sound of the Monty.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I cannot fucking wait.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Gotta say, whilst rap isn't my thing.
I do enjoy a bit of hip-hop and KRS One ticks the 'JeffTheDogFucker likes it' box.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Not so fond of the rap/hiphop stuff
but thanks anyway. Happen to know of anything happening on the 9th by any chance?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)

What sort of thing are you into?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:31, Reply)

some metal, classic rock
bit of electro, listen to classical music. I'm pretty easy music-wise. Only stuff I don't listen to at all is rap/hiphop, pop (with honourable catchy exceptions) and country
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Bristol again, so you'll have to/could visit your old man at the same time
www.theklabristol.co.uk/gigs.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Thanks for the link :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

of Montreal are playing in Amsterdam on the 9th.
I really, REALLY REALLY want to go to this.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

alright let's go haha

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)

...it's in my reading week.
Surely it's in the middle of your term?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

The 9th is a Saturday

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)

For some reason I thought it was a monday.
That's why I'm getting confused.

Would kind of defeat the object you you spending your birthday alone though :P
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I'd ignore you completely
and sit in a corner haha

But yes that's true. You've planted an idea though. A weekend break alone could be possible
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)

INCEPTIONNNNNNN

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I've been sat here, trying desperately to remember the name of the venue in Oxford.
That my girlfriend and I went to when we stayed there for her birthday weekend a few years ago. They had either music or comedy on most nights and I was thinking that they were bound to have something decent on for a Saturday night. I was getting so vexed as I searched the internet, that I resorted to e-mailing my girlfriend.
It turns out that it was Cambridge we stayed in. Ah yes, I remember it well.
Anyway, they've got Yes stalwarts Rick Wakeman and Jon Anderson on, if that's your thing.
(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Berlin was crap the first time I went there
But I think I didn't enjoy it because it was December and really cold.

Next time I went on spring, and it was fantastic. One of the best weekends of my life (but it was as well the first weekend away with Mark, so that might have helped)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:06, Reply)

One of my uncles was stationed in Berlin in the '70s. We went to stay with them in '73 or '74
My mum has recently had some of the cine film that we shot put onto dvd. I'm very much looking forward to seeing this, although if memory serves, I don't think we were allowed to film when we went into East Berlin.
(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I was on a plane to France a couple of years ago
and we were delayed while we waited for two final passengers to get on. The cabin crew just said "we're awaiting the arrival of two remaining passengers" so when they finally did get on, some guy behind me went tearing down there and started screaming at them for being selfish and imbecilic. He then stomped back up to his seat. The air hostess quickly followed and very curtly told the man that the couple were both paralysed and had to wait for the hydraulic lift to be able to get on the plane and that we wouldn't be taking off until he went down and apologised to them.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I'm glad they made him apologise
sounds a twat. Though the airline should probably have been more organised
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:56, Reply)

yeah I agree that it was annoying being delayed
and if it was because of passengers who were just late I would have supported him (although he was pretty obnoxious, he just effed and blinded at them).
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I hope the bloke felt like a little piece of shit when he found out
although people like that rarely do
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:57, Reply)

he did go down and give a proper apology which was slightly redeeming
but I think the humiliation was probably punishment enough for him.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Very well done, the air hostess
There should be more people like her.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I'm not sure if it's strictly
my favourite place, but the train station in a theatre where my Great-Grandparents are written on wall.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I know that place!
Where all the Nazi collaborators are listed? Wick-ed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:04, Reply)

No, they fell out of a guard...
Oh.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I love that joke.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)

"Brigitte's Weed 'n' Blowjob Emporium"...
...has a delightful ambience and a decent wine list.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I saw a grown up on one of those mini motorbikes
I thought that was pretty inefficient
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Was it a scooter-man taxi service?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)

no

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Nicely clarified.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:31, Reply)

It was concise and punchy, I liked it a lot.

(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Charles de Gaulle Airport many years ago
I arrived early in the morning to discover that I couldn't leave the airport because they'd forgotten to open any of the arrivals channels. A major international airport and they forgot to open up shop. Luckily there was a shouty American there to complain as I am useless at it.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)