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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Right B3ta
I am now a little too excited about the up coming band practice I have on tonight. It's been far too long.

What have you got coming up that you're getting excited about? Monty round 2 doesn't count.

Alt Q: It's Friday, weekend plans you sexy people?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:47, 231 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
You're such an attention-seeking slag

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)
MOVING HOUSE
if the money I've transferred gets there in time.
Oh and sueing the shit out of someone.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)
who you suing?

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)
Old letting agent.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
What's the latest on that Chompy?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)
He's a fucking joker that didn't protect my deposit.
I've sent some very strongly worded letters to his office and sent some to his home address with his actual real name (not his fake name for the company) on.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
Ha! have you Totached him?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
Something like that.
Nearly added him on facebook but decided against it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
Oooh, no protected deposit?
Quick way to quadruple your money, that. Good luck!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
Unless he goes bust to save paying the money.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
Hold up a sec....
My deposit is with my old letting agent, I have his real name and home contact, but he is no longer operating. I didn't even think, could he have done a runner with my deposit money?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
You should have got it back when you left.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)
Yah', but I'm still here, I donno if the deposit is with the landlords or the agent.
If it's with the landlord, then it's all good, if it's with the agent, then I'm not so sure.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
I think
it's supposed to be with the agent. The rules are supposed to protect tennants from unscrupulous landlords. When did you hand it over?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)
About 26 months ago.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
If it is after 2007 you're protected by the tenant deposit scheme

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)
Will that not mean
the letting agent is responsible and holds it?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)
It gets held in a government licensed escrow account i think

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)
In theory then
if the landlord knows the details of this one should be laughing teacakes.

If he doesn't one will have to track down the now defunct letting agent?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)
That's a major faux pas...
...if he didn't protect the deposit. There are rules and regs about how deposit money must be dealt with, IIRC it shouldn't even accrue interest.

Good luck with that, I hope do do 'im proper like.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)
Alright PJM?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
Yep, all good here thanks Monty!
I missed the threads this morning, how did last night go?

BTW, were you on the 17:20 from Waterloo East on Tuesday night? If not, you have a doppelganger in town.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)
It was great, thanks.
That wasn't me - I do definitely have at least one double. A pal's GF once pinched the arse of a total stranger on the bus, utterly convinced it was me...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)
Ah, I wasn't sure and didn't have my lenses in...
...so I didn't wander over and say "alright Monty, how's things?" to a complete stranger and feel like a total nobber in front of a packed carriage.

Probably for the best that one.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)
I'd say you had a fortunate escape.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)
Sue money out of them instead
Unless you're into that sort of thing. I won't judge.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
lolz

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)
no plans
which is just how I like it

still not got any weed though :-/
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)
I'll send you some sleeping pills instead haha

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
it's the weekend I can get drunk enough to sleep

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
this is your solution
right here
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)
I'm due to go tonight after work so I'll gaz you my number in case you need to visit tomorrow

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
cheers
I'm hoping it won't come to that, but always a useful back up
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
I'm not a raper depsite what Kitty says

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
I'm big enough and ugly enough to take care of myself
plus I'd bring backup
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
Lube has never counted as back up

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
Sat: dentists, work, gardening, painting windows. Sun: gym, work, pub, wank, sleep.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)
you left out the wank on saturday

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
AND he's only scheduled one for Sunday.
What's up with you, man?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
I do have a gf to service as well
and at 37 the reserves of man batter don't last as long as they did.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
Agreed.
My gf actually said to me the other day "As a man gets older his cock shrinks and his balls get bigger".

Is this true?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
Not that I've noticed
*goes to office toilet to check*
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
I hope she
wasn't trying to tell me something.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
I can report that length, girth & teste size seem unaffected by age or drug & alcohol abuse.
Usage has declined however.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
Someone give me a recap of the monty thread
I can't be assed to read it
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)
Today's headlines:
MONTY HAD SEX
CAT HATER IS BERT
BERT IS MENTAL
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
Cat hater is bert is so not a headline
It's more that quirky little story at the end of the news:

And finally: It's revealed sad little man still craves internet attention
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
less of the little, thank you, Bertha

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)
We've all seen up your kilt, 00-Bert.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
Fortunately I'm secure enough in my sexuality not to care about my endowment
but the girl I'm currently boffing is somewhat large, and by comparison trouser Bert looks relatively small :(
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
hurp

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
*sigh*
Not Becky. No matter how much you want it to be.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)
I can't think of anyone else he would be better suited to
I think they'd make a nice couple, if the actual girl he filled to the guts is reading this, I apologise, I'm sure you're nowhere near as easy as Becky, despite putting out on a first date and all
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)
Not Becky, Rain Man.
Not. Becky.

I incest insist.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)
but seriously, floppy aubergine, yeah?

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Reading that thread has cheered me up about 74%
And glad your evening went well Monty, although I should let you know you shagging someone else is jepordising our reletionship
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)
oh, it's you!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
One look at the profile was all it took

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
I'd forgotten I'd chamged it actually
I like this name a lot more though
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
I'll never do it again if your promise yourself to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)
I'll get my people to draft something up

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
as in previous thread below - just baby stuff
But if it's a boy I CAN BUY LEGO AND MECCANNO!!
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
you can buy those
if it's a girl as well you know
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
true
but then the other half will force the purchace of my little pony and sylvanian families...
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)
My little pony was ace
buy it both, Lego and my little pony. If it's a she, she'll be building a stable in no time.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)
Yeah, I had loads of those growing up
And little to no dolls. And I turned out alright.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)
same
no barbies in our house
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)
Train sets and brio and k-nex,
That's where it's at.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
I had a big bin full of Lego
The proper building bricks, not the sets where you can only build, like, one thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)
yup
big box of assorted bits and pieces, the best
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
Modern Lego...
...is a massive disappointment in this respect.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
AMEN!
A mate got a bunch of us Lego for Christmas. Mine was a pirate ship, that you could ONLY make a pirate ship out of.
Ok, so I also made a alarmingly-curved penis out of the bits, but it was a serious chore. Not even fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
Exactly.
All the bits are pre-moulded into the approximate shape. Which takes all the imagination and effort out of building the damn thing in the first place. It's become like those clip together Airfix kits they do for ADD afflicted kids who can't be trusted with Humbrol paints and glue.

I agree with the cost sentiment... Lego would be cheaper if they used fewer specialist molds to make one use only bits...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
Didn't Lego recently lose the exclusive rights to produce those bricks?
If so then the cost should fall.

You can get some nice old-school Lego sets which are purely bricks, no wheels or anything. Problem is the kids will still scream for the one with the picture of the cool car on the box that they'll complete in about an hour then never return to again.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)
not cheap either

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
We were all old-fashioned and that
swords, tree-houses, lego, chemistry sets.

And for the fluffy- teddy-bears
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
And lots of playing outside
I've never owned a games console in my life.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)
I've owned at least one of each generation of console
But still had time to go falling out of trees and playing in building sites.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
Same
no games consoles, and made to play outside on the grounds of 'it's healthy' and 'learn to amuse yourself'
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
playing outside, making forts
riding bikes, sword fights

those were the days. where has it all gone wrong people? kids today have a shit life compared to what we had
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)
I'm 36...
...and I have recently taken up playing outside on bicycles again.

Recommended.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
agreed
i am into my downhill and its brilliant
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)
Oooh!?
What do you ride and where?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)
Stag Do in Bristol
It's going to be a messy couple of days.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
Bristol welcomes you
where you heading?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
Don't welcome him
He's evil and must be destroyed
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
What's with the name change?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)
*shrugs*
I'm not bound by my name man
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
Nor am I
But I'll still call you 'Badger'. Or 'Mi Amore'.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)
I'll still call you shithead

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)
I'll miss you when you're gone
I hope that's comforting.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
When I've gone to somerset and you haven't?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
I'll be there
Planned the route 'n' all.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)
probably reflex and oceana
followed by strip clubs

am i right?
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
Reflex is hilarious. Went on a stag in Bristol last year. I can recommend a v good indian restaurant if you're interested

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)
not in the centre - but Raj Mahal is AWESOME
in Frenchay
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)
Is it
Freshers week?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
I know we're staying at The Lanes
Above a bowling alley. Places factored in are the Bierkeller, go karting tomorrow, and a plethora of pubs and clubs.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
Try and go to the Hatchet,
opposite Lanes, behind the Colston Hall. Britsols oldest pub, legend has it that the door is made of human skin.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)
That intrigues me, I shall make sure we visit it

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)
Thursdays is lesbian night
but you missed that I'm afraid. It also likes like the cantina scene out of star wars in there on a Thursday.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
We're definitely going there then!
I must see this place before I die.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)
in that case you might like the Queen Shilling...

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
Where in Bristol sells cider?
Not Magners, Strongbow etc... I want scrumpy, proper eye-melting stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
The Apple is closest too you
From Lanes about 2.5 minutes. Walk to the water you will find it. It's near the Old Duke on Welsh Back.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
Cheers!
I shall try to steer the Stag that way.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)
You'll love it mate.
Have a good one.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
the apple is quite good actually
def recomended if its a nice day, though it gets busy.
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)
I went there.
It wasn't very good.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
Killjoy
You ruin everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
It can be shit early on but it always get's rammed and plays good music.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
human skin?
it was wood when i was there

and the beer was shite
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
apparently this is true
www.yelp.co.uk/biz/the-hatchet-inn-bristol
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
no shit
looked on wiki, they say it as well...


hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)
I know
I always feel the door up when I go in now.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
thats got to be bullshit though
hasnt it?

peel off some paint next time and report back!
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
Never been to the Hatchet
despite living in Bristol for some time. But it wouldn't surprise me if it was made of human skin
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)
I don't know. Bristolians are fucking nuts now
I wouldn't put it past them to be that mental in ye olde days.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
brizzle? enjoy the meat market that is the waterfront on a night...

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
I'll make sure we avoid there then ;)

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
well you;re staying across the way from a lap dancing bar
so we know where you'll all be going...
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)
Oh are we?
I didn't pick the venue, but maybe I'll be able to cross something off my List tonight then!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)
yup the lanes
is next door to a karaoke bar and opposite Central Chambers (house of pretty ladies and NO touching)
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)
hell yeah!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:36, Reply)
What sort of thing are you all into?
As Bob says, the Hatchet is a good boozer. The Corrie Taps is nice for pints of apples (and indeed is 'The Apple').

What music are you all into?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)
Doing my second
pool session for my PADI cert tonight. Getting a new hobby at 36 is quite exciting. Got a good work lunch/jolly today.

Alt Q: Cooking beef cheeks for the first time tomorrow. Some light alcohol abuse for the rest of the weekend.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
Yay ! That's good fun.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
oh I'm so jealous
I'm hoping to do an open water course when I go to Aus on hols next year.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:37, Reply)
I'm spending my weekend trying not to eat.
I've ordered a leather jacket I probably won't fit into.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
I read that wrong
And just spent the last thirty seconds trying to picture you climbing into a jacket potato.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)
It'd become the sexiest jacket potato ever

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
jacket potato with blue cheese
and aromat


nom nom
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
Rawwrrrrr!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
I also read jacket potato

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
I read 'leather jacket'
Because that's what it says.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
You're such a spoil sport.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
A spoil sport with an awesome leather jacket
And I'm very impressed with how good my mo' looks today.
In short, I feel fucking invincible right now.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)
I have an awesome leather jacket too.
*Awesome leather jacket five!*
In what way does it look better today?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
It's perfectly fanned up
As I combed it out proper rather than just chucking it up.
*highfives*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)
Very nice
Mine needs washing, I should really go for a shower.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)

e ge
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)
Yuk.
:(
Such a shame you're not coming to the Cabaret night, the thought of you in burlesque gear is fucking hilarious.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:33, Reply)
we could have dressed him up like a dandy Victorian guy, it would have been so much fun

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)
mo?
as in mohawk?
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
Yep

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)
His mohawk is sex on legs.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
*blushes*
It's my best feature, as sad as that it.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
what colour and height?
i need detail so I can decide whether to mock or be impressed!
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)
I had it cut before my hols
So it's down to 7 inches or so. Natural hair colour, can't get away with mad colours for work/court.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)
just 7 inches?
you should perm it

go on, that would be awesome
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
Longest I had it was over 12 inches
But after that it becomes a feat of engineering to put up. I have to take it down for work (but not casual fridays), so can't do anything longterm like use sugar water, soap or woodglue. Hairspray and a hairdryer are all I use.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)
I can tell you in advance that you should be impressed.
It's all kinds of awesome! A+, Would admire again.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)
You haven't even met me!
But cheers ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)
I'm sufficiently impressed by your fb pictures
I don't think I need to.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
Best not meet me then
Don't want to ruin the image you have.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)
Yeah, that probably is for the best.
You're probably not nearly as cool in real life.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)
Definitely not

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)
Go play on the motorway then.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)
Only if those fit-but-mental foreign birds are up for it again.

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
Hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
Leather jackets are awesome
in town there is a dark purple one. Absolutely lovely, proper leather and only 85 euros. I want it :(
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)
Gigs on Saturday night,
Leaving do for a friend on Sunday night
And packing to go back to uni throughout. There's not internet yet in my new house though... how will I cope without my daily dose of b3ta drama?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
move somewhere with internet connection
problem solved
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
not feeling destructive anymore?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Nah
I missed being simple. Plus, LAAfDK doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as LAAK.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
I thought she had shortened it
to LAK, Amberl broke free. You could be B3ta's own 3 witches of eastwick equivalent.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
she's on a trial seperation

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)
nice name change, bet Lab is glad he came back now

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
I'm going to give her a big hug next time I see her
A loving, squeezing, jugular hug.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
I'm going to kick you in the crotch

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
We're going to try and make it work
between us
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
It will take a lot of time and effort from all four of us
But I think we'll pull through.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)
If you look at the popular page
you'll see we have no choice :(
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
Ah yes, I've seen the boobipede.
...lovely.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)
Haha!
I love your bickering with him.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)
I've said this many times before
But I love Badger like the sister I never wanted.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)
Don't fuck her, we know how that ends up.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)
:(
It hurts in my chest when you say that
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)
I'd climb inside her
Then say "And I thought they smelt bad on the outside".
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)
Two kicks in the crotch

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)
Entertaining the nuggets on Saturday...
...while chickenlady drives to the airport to pick up her M&D. I can see us all playing CoD or watching Red Dwarf DVDs.

I'm going to head to the gym after that and hopefully relax with a couple of glasses of single malt in the evening.

Sunday I'm taking the boys to Rugby training and will try and squeeze in another gym workout before the end of the weekend.

My life is so exciting...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
still cant get whiskey
I know I should, I can do wine etc. And whiskey is something I SHOULD like... But I still think it tastes like petrol

sorry
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)
No apology necessary...
...the taste is influenced by many factors though, one whiskey can taste very different to another.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
Babysitting tonight
Fun with daughter tomorrow morning
Then afternoon drinks with pal
Then GONG SUPPORTED BY NIK TURNER'S SPACE RITUAL
Sunday pm babysitting again
Sunday night, fucking my sister
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
Shut up Bert

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
You'll never be as good a father as Bert
needs moar incest
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
it's an anagram of nicest, you know

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)
careful, you'll catch the AIDs

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
*self high-five*

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
Well no-one else is going to to high-five you.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)
every reply, every mention of my name, every tiny little dig
is like a high-five to my soul

x
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
I'm so very pleased for you.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)
You don't have a soul
you're 95% bullshit and 5% desperation*

*may be the other way round
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)
True, Bobby
I don't even have a daughter, let alone a sister, this is all lies on the internet. I'm awfully creative you know.
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)
Gong, eh?
Est-ce qu'il y a du Camembert? Tu veux du Camembert?
*deliriums*
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
Yup. Featuring Steve Hillage on guitar. Very excited.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
Steve Hillage produced some Simple Minds albums if I remember correctly.
It seems strange now to think that they were once a decent band.
(Cave Duck, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:37, Reply)
I'm going to see Crass* in a couple of weeks
I'm looking forward to a bit of punk.

This weekend is all about the pub for me.

*The singer from Crass.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)
Good gravy
I jsut saw the popular page, I'm well popular here, aren't I? It's nice to see the adoration and adullation of the fans still going strong, I love you all, it's appreciated.

Thank you all.
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)
YAY
my new name is at the top! Everyone will see Lab is a shithead
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)
I only scanned the popular page
and I assumed Lab WAS at the top.

Must learn to read.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)
I'm always on top
Unless I'm feeling tired and lazy.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)
Actually seeing Scott Pilgrim rather than getting hopelessly lost in Peckham.
Alt Q: Killing time.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)
you got lost in Peckham :S ?
And don't forget your new thread
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)
OMG was it Lampito who Monty fucked?
I mean, Sexface and Psychochomp have been there, but I still would
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
1. Psychochomp didn't fuck me, the lucky creature.
2. I have never fucked Monty
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)
so how about a date?

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)
Go and stick your cock in a broken wine bottle.
/ac, from last night, to SexFace
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)
I may be a former sex offender, but I'm not as bad as sex face

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)
oooooooooooooh
/ac stands for actual quote... I always wondered....
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)
no it's autocomplete, you idiot

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)
No, I've not seen SexFace since that fateful night
Went onto /talk yesterday though...
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)
Yeah, ended up at Peckam Queen's Road rather than Peckham Rye
walked back along the high street at about 9 o clock cheerfully checking for rapists.

Also, I'm enjoying the Montbertcentric goings-on this morning, not sure it's appropriate yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
Scott Pilgrim is So. Fucking. Good.
Also: new thread time, yayayay
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)
I like this
click several times.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
New thread?
Gawd. In a bit!
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)
We're waiting on you!

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)
tell me about it

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)
Well TGB is around, which is good

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)
It's all good when I'm here

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)
I made you something
I reaaaally don't think it's worth a thread of its own though
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)
Yes it is!
NEW THREAD TIEM PLS
KTHNXBAI
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)
^ this
New thread time
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)
Well all this shit isn't building it up too much.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:33, Reply)
Not really
this thread is a bit large
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:34, Reply)
Oh god
you didn't see it?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)
We got lost and had chinese food instead

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

dude, weak.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)
I've been e-mailing my friend Dave with regard to a tricky piece of scheduling this weekend.
In the city centre this weekend is the Freedom Festival which was originally held three years ago to mark the 200th anniversary of the abolition of slavery and, in particular, pay homage to the role played by local MP William Wilberforce, by watching performances by X Factor runners up and eating badly prepared food from stalls with questionable standards of hygene.
The event is now held annually in the interest of "family fun"
However this year it clashes with the Camra beer festival held at the city hall. Thus we have to devise a plan that allows us to do our family duty but still get to sample Mrs Simpson's Vanilla Porter, preferably whilst avoiding having to watch The Saturdays.
(Cave Duck, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)
I fucking love The Saturdays

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:34, Reply)
You couldn't stand in for me for an hour or so could you?
Mind you the fact that I could remember how to pick out the main bit from I Just Can't Get Enough when they did their version did briefly make me slightly less dinosaurish in my daughter's eyes.
(Cave Duck, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

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