She balances the long, arduous hours
with flashing the neighbours and washing bed linen. It's a winning combination.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:24, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I've missed the flashing story.
But freshly washed bed linen is a Sunday must.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:28, Reply)

Swipe's got a whole load of interesting stories
And she enjoys moaning about her swanky job.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:30, Reply)

I can see why she spends time here.
They say opposites attract, and reading a lot of QOTW answers, most people have shit job and wanky stories!

Did you find any engineering opportunities POD?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:32, Reply)

Had a couple of interviews a couple of weeks ago
Still waiting to hear back about them, as HR departments are a bit rubbish it turns out.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:38, Reply)

They all are
And people tend to go on holiday this time of year.

Where were the roles based? London or elsewhere?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:40, Reply)

One in London
One in the middle of Scotland. Would quite like the Scotland one. Just have to sit about lots and see really.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:42, Reply)

londonlondonlondon
the annoying thing about waiting to hear back re: a job is that you are just a leaflet in their "to-do" list, but to you it's soooooo important. i hate it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:43, Reply)

i will soon go from a junior to a senior (ie 5 years PQE)
and i am yet to learn that if i didn't gossip with my friends, surf b3ta and go out for lunch most days, i probably wouldn't need to work so many sundays!

and in my defence, i wouldn't have ever flashed anyone if the cleaner hadn't broken the kitchen blind...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:30, Reply)

And in defence.
You are a natural!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:33, Reply)

best thing about boarding school was having the dorm opposite one of the girl houses
and seeing all the 6th formers getting changed every morning. 13 year old wank bank nostalgia.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:37, Reply)

No wonder you are training to be a teacher....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:38, Reply)

Yeah only I'm teaching reception age
to keep the temptation at bay and all. You know Bert gave me some radical new ideas on sexual boundaries.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:41, Reply)

hahaha
Radical new ideas, the progressive face of teaching.

You'll be a natural.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:42, Reply)

natural rrested
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:42, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:47, Reply)

I dunno, surely that's the age range that attracts most paedo teachers

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:43, Reply)

Maybe you can bring them back to yours to 'see your 2000ad collection' ?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:45, Reply)

bert WILL be back

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:44, Reply)

We can but hope

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:45, Reply)

He said I was his hero
= ((
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:45, Reply)

** There there **

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:47, Reply)

Don't I look the cunt

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:49, Reply)

you remind me more of rathen
than bert.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:51, Reply)

Bert was mental
Rathen is a bit gay and wouldn't bother with offtopic; so who does that make me ?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:52, Reply)

Rory?
We've never spoken before. I'm not really called Jeff. Neither do I fuck dogs in real life.

Hello.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:57, Reply)

= ( You've ruined everything, this is how I saw you
www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1309614/Feeling-husky-Gavin-Rugby-star-Henson-strips-raise-awareness-male-cancer.html
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 0:01, Reply)

That is EXACTLY what I'm like
Only I'm not Welsh.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 0:06, Reply)

*swoons*
You're a dreamboat, I wish I was a dog
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 0:10, Reply)

He has had one of his back up accounts banned

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:46, Reply)

He said to Vipros he had 5 more

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:48, Reply)

being a noob you may not know this.... bert had a tendancy to lie

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:50, Reply)

I think you've mentioned that already. Bitch.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:51, Reply)

is it not repeatoday?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:52, Reply)

is it not repeatoday?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:54, Reply)

Really?!!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:51, Reply)

do we know "who" that was?
i was looking at my gaz exchange with "the cat hater" from when i was ratarsed on here last week. weird. i keep saying "i know you are bert" until he convinces me otherwise by references to utterly fictitious wives and nephews.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:50, Reply)

I genuinely didn't think it was Bert
seeing as he started off on /links. It was clever.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:52, Reply)

like i said...
he'll be back!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:54, Reply)

DRAMATIC PRARIE DOG MUSIC

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:55, Reply)

He has indeed.
Mind, if he hadn't changed it from *whatever it was* to Bret Mong Keys Eggs, simply in order to have the last word, nobody would have noticed it was him.

I liked him, I really did. I just wish he didn't feel the need to be a total arse to so many people.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:50, Reply)

Always.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:46, Reply)

Or remembered to wear more than just a towel first thing in the morning...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:43, Reply)

it's more in the middle of the night
if i run out to get a bottle of evian or something thinking "it's ok, it's dark" and then completely forget that when i open the fridge door it will be like standing in a spotlight. i have probably devalued their flat by about 30,000.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:44, Reply)

Evian? EVIAN?
You're forgetting your northern roots; it's a bucket of rainwater that was collected three weeks ago and has now gone slightly green or nowt, lass.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:47, Reply)

when i am up north
i will drink tap water or the filtered stuff (my dad has one of those plumbed in fridges). but in london there is no chance, it has got to be evian, fuck that filtered through 9 other people's kidneys shit!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:49, Reply)

You're northern and therefore, by proxy, 'ard as fookin' nails, lass.
You should be bypassing the 9 times filtered shite and simply drinking the piss of tramps as a matter of course anyway.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:52, Reply)

plumbed in fridges?
Down my way, we call that a cistern.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:53, Reply)

After the last Manchester bash
I had my first taste of Manchester water for several months. It was the sweetest thing ever.

Of course it might have been because I was horrifically dehydrated and still a little drunk and ashamed. But I still maintain it was the water itself.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:57, Reply)

Or clean your own gaff!
Swipe is Baroness Scotland AIC another FP
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:45, Reply)

i am shit at cleaning
i am allergic to dust and terrified of spiders.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:48, Reply)

What's your personal hygiene like?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:51, Reply)

slightly obsessive
and i am very obsessed with designer products and perfumes. it is probably where most of my salary goes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:52, Reply)

Good to noe that you ain't no stinky bird
Obsession with names of clothes is a bit shit; it's like a tax on stupidity
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:55, Reply)

Where as I know fuck all about law
But I'm a dab hand with a can of Pledge and a duster.

1-1

Actually, I don't mind spiders at all, and I like to catch Daddy-longlegs by hand.

2-1 to the DogFucker.

In your face proper education and career prospects!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:52, Reply)

daddy long legs
make me whimper with fear. it's pathetic. but i hate the way they fly straight at you and get their horrid long legs tangled in your hair. urgh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:53, Reply)

But if you cup them in your hands
They flap about a bit, then stop. Meaning you can open a window and release them back into the wild, so they can do whatever it is they do.

I'm pretty sure the life-span of the Long legs is 'Born, eat, shag, die'. 24 hours well spent.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:55, Reply)

you collected any fps from your numerous claims?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:49, Reply)

No, I'm passing them onto my bank.
I'm hoping they'll accept them as payment against my overdraft.

A few more thousand claimed fivers and I'll be back in credit!

I might take this to Dragons' Den. What do you think?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:50, Reply)

you have turned up wearing only a puppy posing pouch
And for that reason I'm out
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:54, Reply)

Whereas
Deborah Meaden is dripping wet.

She wants ME in.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:56, Reply)

and on that note! night!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:58, Reply)

Night TGB

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 0:00, Reply)

me too
night jtdf and the rest of you feckers. I 'm off to dream about TGB and motorbikes.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 0:01, Reply)

And primary school children.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 0:07, Reply)

damn fucking straight

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 9:51, Reply)