as there seemed to be a ray of sunshine this morning
i thought i would wear my cropped suit trousers, possibly for the last time this year. i thought they looked quite nice with my newest high heels.

until my colleague marauded past and asked loudly, "oi swipe, why are you dressed as a pirate today?"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:03, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Yaarr!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Are you carrying a cutlass too?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

your colleague is right
cropped suit trousers are stupid.

I like the use of marauded though, so I might let you off
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

marauding
is a great word. and does not get used often enough.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

haha i bet it was a bloke
see also: checked shirt=cowgirl. laugh a minute!
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Do you wear checked shirts?
Do you have a cowgirl hat too?

Do you ever go out on the town in little denim shorts and a checked shirt and a cowgirl hat?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)

not with my fucking stumps nar
i have been known to take little bill to toys r us and mince around the store in hats we've selected from the dress up box. im then forced to wear it outside in a show of sisterhood and to make her feel less self conscious. i look a proper cunt.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Blue and white stripey shirt = French
Gingham = cowgirl
Check shirt = lumberjack
Pinstripe skirt-suit, seamed stockings, hair done up, glasses = *drools*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)

GET OUT OF MY HEAD

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Low cut top = nympho

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

not necessarily!
if you have whaps that are bigger than about a b-cup, low-cut tops are much more flattering. if you have DD boobs and you wear a poloneck, you just look like a walking shelf.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

^ this
Last time I wore a polo-neck, I had people coming up and commenting :S
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Let's face it though
Ladies love the attention their boobs in a low cut top get.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

i couldnt care less about a sneaky look or a glance or two
but my boss once spent a whole four minutes talking to my tits. four. fucking. minutes and not once did that cunt meet my eye
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Ok that's well out of order
As a gent, I never stare, and I always look the lady in the eye when talking. I would be lying if I didn't steal the occasional glance though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

get this then
was talking to my boss in my old job. he was there, talking with me and the head chef and he's stirring his tea with a spoon. and im looking at him, listening to him chat about the production and he's looking at me and then he stops stirring and hovers his spoon above my cleavage, all the while still talking to me and looking at me in the eye. dripping fucking tea down my tits.

and then he stops im there and shocked i look at the head chef and he's all wtf. so i go get my cardigan and zipped it the fuck up and christ
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Err...
That's messed up.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)

some men eh

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

i feel your booby pain
one of the partners was once talking to my tits so badly that even he realised. he then stammered a bit and actually said,

"oh, i do - er - like your necklace."

it was a fucking choker. nowhere near my cleavage.

he is a weaselly little man with eyes that are so close together i am frankly surprised he can manage to clock both breasts at once.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

a bit of fucking subtlety wouldnt go amiss
having tits slightly bigger than the average seems to give some people free license to be creepy cunts
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Have we met?
Nice bit of crumpet eh?

/Creepy
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I KEEL YOU

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Can't always help it though, it's like the colour red, it attracts the eyes.
It only means something if they then make lude comments about them or something like that.

It's like a pleasent version of watching a family of fatsos in KFC as you're walking past have a bucket of chicken each.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I deliberately talk to Em's boobs at times
As a joke, and when she says "Oi, my eyes are up here" I reply "But your boobs are down here".

Or I quote Homer Simpson: "I've made my decision".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

That is also messed up
A Bursar did that to me once, though granted I was wearing an Armani dress that I had literally squeezed into so there was a bit of an excuse. He didn't look up until the end, when he caught my eye and we both knew exactly why I was giving him such an odd look
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)

a look is alright but its the whole talking to the tits thing that does my swede in
i mean, i can appreciate a nice fucking rack but i dont stand there with my head buried in them
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)

It was especially weird
since he was about sixty, and apart from the talking to my breasts he is usually very dignified and correct
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:39, Reply)

gawd i bet he pulled his pork rotten
youre well in his wank bank now :(((
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:41, Reply)

he likes blondes :(

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

i know youre sat there picturing it
you sicken me
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:44, Reply)

What can I say?
Old men going to town = hot
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

haha im giving up on older blokes, theyre miserable and come with baggage
im fishing for a young one
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

that's really weird

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

true story
i laugh about it now but fucking hell
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

was he uncomfortably close to start with
or did he have to hold the spoon out over your orbstacles?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:39, Reply)

haha are you taking notes?

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

haha
nope, just curious as to how someone can behave so oddly

if he had to reach out, then it makes it extra weird
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

he stretched his arm out yeah
there were three of us talking so he wasnt real close. but in all honesty, it was in my younger, attractive years. i may not agree with what he did but cunt couldnt help himself
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

but holding out a dripping tea spoon over someone's rack
is so totally bizarre.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Now if the teaspoon was dripping cream.....

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:56, Reply)

slightly more understandable
but still weird.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Do you keep in touch with him?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

i married the cunt

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

hahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

"Sorry love, I thought your tits were a saucer, my mistake."

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)

hey man, it happens

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Saves on a bit of washing up, innit.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Lol, look what someone just put up as their profile picture.
profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs446.snc4/49150_514287677_4619_n.jpg - NSFW
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 12:14, Reply)

that is utterly awful

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Fuck's sake.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Sep 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I wouldn't mind putting some books on that shelf
and by books I mean my penis. And by shelf I mean breasts.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

how IS married life these days?!?!
and ON it? what is that going to do for either of us?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

however did you guess?
stupid man, no sense of style!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

It's not even the 19th yet either.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Tell him you've got scurvy and want to incorporate this into a new look
If you haven't got an eyepatch a postit note will do. Got some hoopy earrings? Excellent! Now, colour in a few teeth with permanent marker and voila!
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)