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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Can we have a thread that isn't about Zombies?
I don't want nightmares.

Q: Why did you and your first love separate?

Alt Q: What makes you laugh?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:30, 237 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Never had a first love sorry
Alt Q: Pushing old ladies over. Or thinking about it
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:32, Reply)
No first love?
That's sad.

People falling over? WIN!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:36, Reply)
Not really
I'm a bit too level-headed to want to rush into it
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:38, Reply)
It could be a tale of unrequited love, someone you've lusted after from afar.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:39, Reply)
oh, I'm currently lusting after someone
but I really rather doubt it's true love
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:44, Reply)
But if it makes your stomach flip when you see them
And you find yourself idly thinking about them on long journeys, then that's as good as it gets.

Once you get together, it'll be down-hill all the way.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:50, Reply)
if that's as good as it gets
then I've been in love dozens of times. But I'm pretty sure it isn't.

/stalks person some more
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:53, Reply)
Do the stalking.
It'll make you feel good.

*Plots move to Battersea*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:54, Reply)
My mum knew someone
who answered the phone with 'Battersea Dog's Home, which bitch do you want?'

And if all goes well, then this time next month I shall know with this chap
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:00, Reply)
What is your plan to slay them?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:07, Reply)
Is it someone off here?
/intensely nosy (by all means tell me to fuck off and mind my own business...
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:14, Reply)
is schtum
just in case. There is always gaz :)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:23, Reply)
*strokes imaginary beard and looks pensive*

(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:33, Reply)
Admit it
It's me, isn't it?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:33, Reply)
I've been found out

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:34, Reply)
It's ok
Let your feelings out, dear.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:36, Reply)
I LOVE YOU.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:40, Reply)
*contemplates*
/months pass and you get fed up and leave
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:49, Reply)
/weeps
/drowns self in GIN
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:51, Reply)
*gravedigger quip*

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:54, Reply)
/snogs

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:55, Reply)
because I turned her into a lesbian
Alt q: b3ta, lolwaki humour that Monty frowns upon like the Mighty Boosh and Flight od the Conchords, schadenfraude. And midgets.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:35, Reply)
I was someone's first love
She turned me straight.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:41, Reply)
there's a lot of lady love going on today, Aber getting molested in her sleep,
kristine organising lesbian fetish parties and now this. If I don't have sexy dreams I'm declaring myself gay in the morning.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:43, Reply)
I can save you a snooze.
YOU'RE A MASSIVE BUMDER.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:44, Reply)
no way I'm even going to put on the sexiest film known to man kind.
Top Gun
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:47, Reply)
She looked like a young Johnny Depp...

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:45, Reply)
you're spoiling it now!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:47, Reply)
I know :D

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:47, Reply)
Did she manage to trim
Both of your quims whilst you petted?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:48, Reply)
Sorry. Don't answer that.
I've been like this all night and I don't like it.

I don't know whats happened. I used to be nice.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:49, Reply)
shut up Chompy

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:50, Reply)
Hahahahahahaahaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't ignore it.
It won't go away!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:51, Reply)
Sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:52, Reply)
I think you've had too much Pedigree Chum.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:52, Reply)
I'm probably a bit tired.
Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:54, Reply)
You've not been nasty to me yet.
You're FINE.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:55, Reply)
I don't mean it.
This is the problem.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:03, Reply)
You don't mean you're sorry?
-wells up-
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:14, Reply)
No.
I don't mean to be rude.

I don't want to upset anyone.

*There there* (Tries to cop a feel)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:15, Reply)
-Karma Police-

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:16, Reply)
Culture Club
Have their own Police force?

Wow.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:24, Reply)
This song
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hGQ0THFEB0
Spivvy cunt chats up woman with low self-esteem then threatens to top himself/reminds her of her own mortality in order to get a shag.
Also steals her ciggies the next morning.

My dad said he has the voice of the man who just invented flares.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:36, Reply)
This is what makes me laugh, not the story of my first love.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:37, Reply)
It's quite catchy.
I like it.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:38, Reply)
It's cracking
But when we heard it in the car on Saturday my dad nearly had to pull the car over for laughing.
We were like "Who's this fucking chancer!" then the lyrics took the sinister turn and, oh I dunno, you had to be there. We haven't stopped lolling.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:40, Reply)
I want to join the Jimmy Justice fan-club.
What a name.
What a man.
What a song.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:42, Reply)
Me and my dad are gonna get badges saying 'Justice 4 Jimmy'

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:43, Reply)
Do you know how to do things in paint?
I'd love to update my profile with a bit of Jim.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:45, Reply)
I can probably put text on a pic
But I'd ask someone better than me to do it
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:45, Reply)
Find someone who isn't a computer mongzoid
Who likes 'our Jim', I'd love the chance to celebrate him, albeit in 'profile' form.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:47, Reply)
Leave it with me...

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:48, Reply)
Delivers 'IT'

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:51, Reply)
You want to join the Justice League?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:43, Reply)
^that made me laugh

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:39, Reply)
*winks while chewing some gum, much like I imagine Jimmy Justice does when he's dancing with you*

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:41, Reply)
you're making me weak at the knees :(

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:49, Reply)
I've invented these new kecks. They're called flares.
*winks*
*bops*
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:50, Reply)
*gets a bit flushed*
I'll have another gin please
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:55, Reply)
Mixer?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:04, Reply)
I'm hardcore
tonic please
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:10, Reply)
Ice and a slice?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:10, Reply)
She crushed me.
This is a laugh, eh.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:37, Reply)
I'm not sure we ever did.
He keeps waltzing in and out of my life.

Alt: My friends and their kerrrrazy antics. And this "My Fake Baby" program is making me splutter in disbelief. Bitches be crazy.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:39, Reply)
What you first love a keen dancer?
Or have I missed the point again?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:47, Reply)
Lamps has had Darth as well?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:48, Reply)
I've not seen him dance, actually
but he's a gangly fuck. Quite graceful on the field, but I can't imagine he'd literally "waltz"

He does get in contact for sex every so often though.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:51, Reply)
Nice to feel needed eh?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:52, Reply)
He's not that nice to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:53, Reply)
:( then taser him

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:55, Reply)
I might ask him for drinks at some point.
If he's not too busy with making new friends at his new uni...
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:57, Reply)
get to fuck
he sounds like a goon, don't do it to yourself lamps, exes be exes for a reason yo.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 22:58, Reply)
You are a black Jemery Kyle
AICMFP
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:02, Reply)
or possibly just a crackhead in the Wire
edit: though bobby has a point. There's a reason he's an ex
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:03, Reply)
Absolutely.
I do agree Bob has a point, but I'm not going to tell him that.

He'll never find out I agree with him.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:06, Reply)
validation hard on

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:07, Reply)
POTN

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:10, Reply)
*mega spaff*

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:11, Reply)
Sorry.
Did you think that POTN meant 'Post of the night'?

It was actually 'Piss Off The Nonce'

(I'm not convincing anyone with that, am I?)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:13, Reply)
Someone get me a croissant
it's my turn to shine.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:15, Reply)
I wouldn't take too much kudos
I'm still in the same league of poster as you.

One of the 'un-cool' kids trying to get accepted around here.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:17, Reply)
dude we're the new breed
version 2.0

we will have our day.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:19, Reply)
Yeah.
And it'll be a Sunday when everyone else is off doing real things in the real world.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:25, Reply)
He didn't fancy me?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:06, Reply)
but there are people who do
and that's much better for your self-esteem
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:08, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sorry, got something bitter in my throat.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:09, Reply)
Stop wallowing
it's not becoming.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:13, Reply)
Sorry :)
How are you this evening?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:16, Reply)
Not bad
Dorothy Perkins courier-based rage has been tempered by red wine and cheese and a Ross Noble dvd. And your fine self?
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:17, Reply)
I've been cracking out my DP cape. It's awesome.
I'm not too bad thanks, vegging out with South Park. I'm bored.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:19, Reply)
Isn't it Freshers week and that?
Surely there should be something to do. Don't you have a student loan to spend?
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:22, Reply)
I bought myself a special necklace
I'm also not very well :(
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:24, Reply)
a pearl necklace?
From Soho?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:24, Reply)
*sniggers*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:27, Reply)
Lemsip, ibuprofen and internet shopping
are your friends. Not too serious, I hope?
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:30, Reply)
not in bank yet
but I'm going wild on the night before my collection
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:24, Reply)
Winner.
Sorry I missed your reply earlier, btw. Why is it depressing to be back at uni?
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:31, Reply)
decided I want a different job
was ill first day back, and there is too much work
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:33, Reply)
What are you studying for
And what would you now like to do?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:36, Reply)
History at the moment
but medicine seems like the better option, and surprisingly doable
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:37, Reply)
I'll reply to my OP and listen to your change of plan from the left of the page!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:39, Reply)
Depends on what A levels you have
Medicine requires an A in A level chemistry almost universally, and generally A level biology too. Unless you want to go down the foundation year route, and that's not guaranteed to get you a place generally.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:39, Reply)
Well, just think
in 8 months or so, it'll all be over. What job are you thinking of going for now?
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:36, Reply)
Three days of non stop wire, four series back to back about to move onto the fifth
I think I am actually becoming a gangster by osmosis.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:03, Reply)
The Wire is fantastic
have you read the book it's based on?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:04, Reply)
not yet I have it though
this is my third run through, it's still perfect. Don't mention it around Kitty or Monty though it angers them,
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:06, Reply)
Read the book
it's fantastic, one of my favourite non-fiction books. Don't bother with the tv series though (the Homicide: Life on the Killing Streets)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:09, Reply)
I have three shiny new textbooks on teaching I'm meant to have read.
But I'm on it. did you ever watch the three prequel shorts, bunk meets jimmie, young omar, young prop joe?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:10, Reply)
never seen them no
but then I never really liked Omar
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:19, Reply)
pffft he is fantastic. The black Doc Holliday
I will post them on my fb as they are really good. Only a couple of minutes each.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:20, Reply)
Omar is overrated
he was quite interesting, but not the best
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:25, Reply)
I really liked him
he was a romantic. No Bubbles though. Definitely my favourite.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:26, Reply)
Bubbles?
Jacko's monkey?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:27, Reply)

youtu.be/0uRNqsvyovk
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:29, Reply)
I just imagine you
Sitting on a armchair, surrounded by empty pizza boxes, occasionally pissing into an empty bottle of Tango.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:05, Reply)
its a wicker chair,
chicken nuggets and I have an en suite!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:06, Reply)
en suite
Bottle of Tango?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:09, Reply)
nah man
room for pissing and showering.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:11, Reply)
And cooking.
You dirty fucker.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:14, Reply)
I don't cook bitch

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:18, Reply)
Not surprised if you piss and shit in the kitchen.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:19, Reply)
It's a real en suite you goon

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:21, Reply)
What separated us?
A fucking sheep dog, that's what.

AltQ severely sick jokes.

My latest facial hair was greeted with "What the fuck is that?" by my mates. The retort "The beard Gary Glitter would have if he was a REAL paedo." Made me laugh.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:16, Reply)
Brilliant.
I love sick jokes.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:18, Reply)
The first person I ever thought I loved
I dumped because he was a) a massive, massive wanker (of a magnitude such that I am amazed it escaped me for 2 whole years) and b) truly fucking terrible in bed. There are other reasons, but they are the main two.
I'm still not convinced I've ever been in love. I think I'm probably just cold and dead inside...
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:17, Reply)
I know what you mean
I thought I was marrying the right person and I was wrong.

*Breaks down sobbing*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:19, Reply)
Well, we live and learn, right?
I bloody well hope that somewhere in my brain 'learning from my mistakes' is happening, anyway...
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:21, Reply)
We do learn.
But do we act on what we've learnt?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:26, Reply)
Possibly
although in my case I will still be belming to myself over the same old stuff when I am 70, I suspect.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:32, Reply)
I dare say you are a lot younger than me.
You'll learn/act.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:34, Reply)
duuuuuuuude!
i just walked home (from farringdon to kensington i might add) and guess what, the music shop on high st ken has... A PINK PIANO!!

it might have to be mine even though i have (i) no other pink furniture apart from my smeg fridge; (ii) absolutely nowhere to put it; and (iii) no 5k to pay for it...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:40, Reply)
I bet it's a pink grand as well, isn't it?

(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:41, Reply)
If you get the piano*
What will you do about the Beetle?

*Ornamental or instrumental? Do you play?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:43, Reply)
nope
it's a shiny little upright.

well the beetle would have to live at my dad's. and that would never be pink! i used to play, literally a million years ago. but only ever up to grade 5.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:46, Reply)
"Only" to grade 5
How shit are you(!)
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:51, Reply)
You played the piano LITERALLY a million years ago?
In the early Pleistocene epoch, when the most advanced land-based mammal was pithecanthropus erectus, which was still hundreds of millennia away from inventing basic tools, never mind musical instruments? That was quite an achievement.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:51, Reply)
she was an exceptional child

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:54, Reply)
She's also exceptionally old

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:56, Reply)
i'm very special. you may have noticed this yourself.
POD, if i catch you saying things like that again, i'll... well there's fuck-all i can do about it, other than send you evil thoughts.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:59, Reply)
OH NO!
Not the evil thoughts! You appear not to be hammered tonight, which is an improvement.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:01, Reply)
no
i wanted to walk home because of eating a lot of cheese for dinner. but hyde park is very very dark and a bit creepy by yourself, so i wanted to have my wits about me! hence sticking to the diet coke.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:08, Reply)
Very sensible
Good use of your law-brain.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:12, Reply)
what, walking 6.5 miles in the dark
with my ipod on?!

necessary evil after so much cheese, though. when you move here, we should totally bash it up there, it's an awesome place.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)
There don't appear to be any other jobs in London just now
So you may be waiting a while.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:19, Reply)
murp
this saddens me greatly
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:21, Reply)
Found one in Bristol that I'm going for
And one in Cardiff. These places aren't far too far from London really.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:24, Reply)
bristol would be awesome
the amazing rakky is there now, we could all go out together for a pint
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:33, Reply)
Is she?
I've not seen her around these parts for ages. I've got loads of friends down that way already, so it would be a good place, and a good job.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:35, Reply)
Bristol is quite nice :)

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:37, Reply)
£5k for an upright?
It's a rip off, my dear. At least if you're going to get a ridiculous pink piano, go all out and get a baby grand.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:51, Reply)
Iron frame uprights
Are usually in the 'free to collector' sections of any free-ads paper. (I'm guessing yours is Loot).

If you want a piano, you can probably get a free one if you arrange deliverly. Get it serviced and get someone else to strip it/paint it PINK.

You'll be down less than £500 all in I reckon.

Have a look and tell me if I'm wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:52, Reply)
You do know this isn't how Swipe works, don't you?
She sees pink things, she buys pink things, then she doesn't use pink things.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:54, Reply)
I'm learning POD
(Any job joy this week mate?)

I'm trying to save her a fortune though.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:56, Reply)
Sent off an app today
Sending off another tomorrow, then waiting for the ever-useless HR machines to roll into action.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:58, Reply)
Keep at it me old son!
I wish you every success.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:08, Reply)
i have a pink glittery eyeshadow
that i use in the corners of my eyes if i am clubbing.

and pink champagne in my fridge. i use that a lot.

do they count?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:01, Reply)
I wouldn't generally count consumables
I'd count things like the boxing gloves.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:01, Reply)
humph

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:11, Reply)
And from this
I would take it that I would therefore be correct.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:12, Reply)
until tomorrow.
i now have my very own boxing punchy tube thing, which i will be punching with the pink gloves.

just as soon as i work out how the hell to get it (i) into the bay window and (ii) out of the box
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:15, Reply)
You could just punch the box instead

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)
haha
now that is logic
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:21, Reply)
I could revolutionise many a company with thinking like that

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:24, Reply)
print off this page
for your next interview
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:31, Reply)
Things to never tell employers:
1) You're a member of b3ta.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:34, Reply)
good point
but having a swipe endorsement should work wonders
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:36, Reply)
I HAVE A LAWYER ENDORSING ME!

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:38, Reply)
and not just any lawyer
an S&M lawyer.

no, wait...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:39, Reply)
you're so practical
and helpful. but i just saw something shiny and pink and thought, mine.

this is far as i got in the whole piano wanting genre.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:09, Reply)
So, can we put the piano whim to sleep?
Monty will be getting restless with you dancing about online at this late hour!

(Seriously though, if you want a piano, and you don't play to a MASSIVE standard, get a free one. In my last house, I got two of them as orniments. I've never played a note).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:11, Reply)
i think they are lovely things to have
but i don't have a wall to put it against, i am so obsessed with books that every single possible wall has a crammed bookshelf stacked against it!

poor monty, he's not here to stand up for himself...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:14, Reply)
Books and pianos
Are both worthy space-takers. I like both.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)
I'm 25
which is old enough to know better, in the vast majority of cases..
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:41, Reply)
Nah.
I got married at 26, I thought I knew better.

30's are the new 20's.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:44, Reply)
I've never had any "loves".
As for what makes me laugh, this is an excellent but unrepresentative example.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:34, Reply)
@Amberl and Berk
So, medicine eh?

What arm of the meds are you thinking?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:40, Reply)
I'd love neurology
but not smart enough I reckon, so perhaps being a GP.

I'd redo A-levels. It's only a dream really, but it is a feasible one, depending on whether I had the guts to give up so many years
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:46, Reply)
Once you get into the rigor of life
Change becomes more difficult. If it's a feesable change, and you can afford/have the support to do it. And, if you think it'll make you happier.

Do it.

It's a lot easier to over-qualify later in life than it is to qualify in anything, once you've got commitments. By that, I mean if you are able to become a GP now, take it. You can think about neurology later. If you do neither now, you (probably) never will.

You'll have a degree in History and you'll be wishing you had your time over again.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:49, Reply)
The expense is offputting
and the knowledge of how old I'll be. I'm putting it aside for now, since it is dependent on getting a 2.1 in this degree anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:52, Reply)
Yes, you will need a 2:1
At the last count, something like 20% of my friends are medics or have recently graduated from medicine, and half of those did it as a second degree. You'll be, what, 23 when you graduate? Plus another year or two to retake your A levels (or do a foundation year) - it's really not that old.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:54, Reply)
turning 24, then 25/26 start
means that I won't be done until I'm in my thirties.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:56, Reply)
I'm applying for PhDs this year
if I get one, I'll be 30+ when I finish. I don't plan to let it stop me, and you shouldn't either. I'm aware that if I want kids, they'll have to happen in my 30s at some point, but at the minute they don't exist and I do, so my wants and needs come first.
(berk, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:01, Reply)
you can combine the 2 anyway if needs be
one of the girls on my masters is due to have her second in march
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:13, Reply)
plus who wants children?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:19, Reply)
oh fuck yes
100000 times this. nieces and nephew are amazing. that's enough, thanks!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:21, Reply)
absolutely
I'll let my siblings have the kids, and I'll be a lovely aunt who brings presents, but bugger am I ever having any myself
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:24, Reply)
^ winning answer.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:27, Reply)
this is me
this is exactly what i do - i ruin my 3!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:31, Reply)
What is it you're actually studying just now?
Is it bio-medical science or somesuch?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:54, Reply)
History
I'm wondering if it's just a pathetic mental yelp
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:58, Reply)
Or a desire to know more
Part of me wishes I'd done a medical degree, but can't be bothered now.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:59, Reply)
And the wages?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:55, Reply)
^ this
if you want a change of direction, do it now. I'm only 25 and I'm already encountering difficulties in changing career/qualifications etc.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:53, Reply)
I'm 36 and I have another 30 years of being an office-boy
Okay, I get to do some interesting stuff now and again. But, months in advance, I know what each day will hold.

Don't live a life of regret. Do what you can when you're young to achieve what you want when you're older.

Amberl. Become a GP (If that's what you want to do).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:55, Reply)
You can never have too many degrees :D

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:53, Reply)
^ wise words ^
i have a BA and the equivalent of an LLB and will shortly have an MSt. then i am thinking of a phD. i miss academic stuff if i am just working.

have you decided you'd prefer medicine to law? i know they are totally different, but you'd only be 2 years plus 2 years training contract to qualify as a lawyer...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:58, Reply)
Oi! Bint.
Back to the piano. I reckon I can save you four-and-a-half grand.

(As you were everyone else).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:01, Reply)
charming...................

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:07, Reply)
Sorry.
I've been flawed all night. I apologise.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:09, Reply)
graciously accepted
although as a girl i will never forget it
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:10, Reply)
You've been lucky.
I've been horrible this evening. I don't know why.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:14, Reply)
PMT?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)
I don't know what it is.
I entered into a foul-mouthed outburst at Kristine regarding the sale of Dildos, I've been more rude (than usual) to Bob and rude to Roota about her lesbian encounter.

I apologise. And I've been rude to you.

It won't happen again. Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:19, Reply)
whoa
that's a bit serious... b3ta means never having to say you're sorry!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:20, Reply)
It's not serious.
You cunt.

*smugs it up like a good'un!*

(Although I am amazed at how foul I've been, and I'm not like that in real life).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:23, Reply)
I've always wanted to do law
and still want to. I'm not sure why medicine has reared it's ugly head, apart from a basic feeling of if you want something fixed, fix it yourself
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:03, Reply)
If you don't know what it is you want to do
Then you are probably doing the wrong thing.

*Apologies for being blunt*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:07, Reply)
why don't you
get some shadowing at oxford court and/or a local law firm before a vacation scheme? that should be kill or cure!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:07, Reply)
sounds good
and kill or cure is right haha
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:08, Reply)
compromise
specialise in medical law!

although you get paid less for PI. i probably earn about 25k more per year for prop lit.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:10, Reply)
Damn you!
I would easily settle for a £25k job, most likely less.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:14, Reply)
We might have a vacancy for a plant operator next month.
Are you up to 12-hour shifts of physically demanding work involving large amounts of chemicals?
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)
bring it on
can I work at night and will you keep it a secret?

also thanks to your link above I refound this www.goaste.cx/goaste/whenegbertmetlucas001a.html
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:19, Reply)
Have you tried Monty?
Or is it a different type of chemical?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:19, Reply)
They're handled on multi-kilogram scales and they're going into cosmetics, so he may not be much help.
Unless he's a chronic wax- and grease-abuser.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:28, Reply)
honestly
i think his tastes are pretty wide
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:29, Reply)
I read that as vile
which I suppose is equally true
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:40, Reply)
Again
Have you tried Monty?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:39, Reply)
I do love playing with large amounts of chemicals
Although knowing someone that burned a hole in their leg puts me off slightly.

Can I have your job instead?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:21, Reply)
it's all relative though
as a trainee i got 21k and i worked at least 14 hours a day, often 6 days a week, and as a baby lawyer i got about 38k for the same hours. this is after essentially 5 years at uni. and if i left london now i'd instantly have to take a 30k hit.

i do get a ridiculous salary compared to doctors or teachers or nurses, i freely admit that. BUT i do work my arse off for it!!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:19, Reply)
I've got a friend who has just taken a massive paycut
To move away from London (slimilar line of work to yours) having done 10 years of high-pressure/big salary.

He's never been happier. He has his weekends back and can usually leave the office by 6pm after a 8.30am start.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:21, Reply)
that's the dream!
you either put up with the stress and go for partner - at my firm they earn 500k upwards per annum - because that is what you want, or you get to a certain level and then go elsewhere. i'm about 2-3 years off that particular decision.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:23, Reply)
That is where he was.
The partnership was on the table, but he had to work out if that is what he wanted.

He could see that the partnership (whilst a massive bank loan) would make him a very wealthy young(ish) man, but he wanted more out of life than money.

Granted (in his view) partners do less work than anyone else, but he said it was too big a life-commitment to warrant signing everything away to make it happen.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:25, Reply)
very wise
it doesn't appeal to me. i have to play the game for the next 2 years, but in reality i'd much rather move out to the countryside somewhere (prob back to cheshire or even home to yorkshire) and do something else.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:28, Reply)
He has staying in the industry (contract law)
But working for a national, rather than an international company.

Rewards are far less, but so in the expectation on his time.

He'll probably regret not taking partnership in 5 years time when he can't afford the house he wants, but aside from that, he's happy.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:31, Reply)
there's more to life than cash
but it is a good place to start for some people if that is what they want. just not for everyone.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:35, Reply)
cash is good
I can live with that
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:40, Reply)
500k a year
you can see why they do it!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:41, Reply)
I'd quite happily be doing 15 hour days just now
If it meant I had a job. Some days I think my brain's actually just turning to mush.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:22, Reply)
i can totally see that
you're far too bright for that to happen. and i am crap at doing nothing myself.

you'll get something perfect soon, i am 200% convinced of that.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:27, Reply)
I ended up designing a house today
Just for the hell of it. Anyone want to buy a compact house design, perfect for a city?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:32, Reply)
i don't even own a city
YET.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:35, Reply)
hahahaha
It's only a matter of time!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:43, Reply)
You'll be fine POD
You wait, in 5 years time, you'll be moaning about how you've got no time to do anything!

Good luck mate.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:29, Reply)
right, bedtime.
goodnight my lovelies!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:42, Reply)
Tarra pet!
(Keepin' it northern)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:43, Reply)
night, sleep well

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 0:45, Reply)

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