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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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you know you've been on b3ta too long when..............

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:40, 106 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
you text a picture of a croissant to a friend rather than a congratulatory text
after being informed of their recent promotion.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)
I like this!
*downloads croissant*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)
I like this

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)
Me too

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)
I was going to say that.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)
NO WAY ME TOO

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)
you are a liar
aicmfp
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)
o

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
Shut....up!
No way.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)
I KNOW LIKE TOTALLY

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
How do they keep this shit up?
I'm bored with it already.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)
You two
Making fun of me. Where is Labia when you need him? He's not getting more tapas from me anymore. :(
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)
Aún te amo

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:12, Reply)
Y yo a ti, mi médico
Pero no me gusta que te rías de mí.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)
You don't like my what?
(Sorry, my 'Fodor's Guide to Barcelona' didn't have that last bit.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)
I don't like that you make fun of me
(Literally: I don't like that you laugh of me)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)
Perdoneme por favor.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:31, Reply)
Ok, ok
I can't be upset with you for long.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)
You reply to bobbypires
Oh shi...

:o)
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)
it's funny cause it's true.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)
u

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
...you get fired from work.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:44, Reply)
hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:46, Reply)
This is a "corker", is it?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:47, Reply)
oh I said what you said
and we both used derogatory air quotes
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)
Is it 'cause you're both so "cool"?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)
We, like, totally are.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)
I think it has potential, we'll see.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)
'

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)
WOOKS
I don't think they're going to let Chandok race again this season. Have you got that death race yet so we can *some witty pun involving HRT Burn*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)
We will have to kill them all.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)
you don't believe Bobby when he says he has a 'corker' of a new thread

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:50, Reply)
who'se more foolish? the fool? or the man/doris that follows him?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)
the man who puts an e on the end of who's

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
BAZINGA!

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
arse!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
What is "corker"?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)
good, brilliant, fantastic.
in this case a lie.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)
It's generally something really good
This thread is pretty much the opposite of such. And it's been done before.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)
well you post something then rather than just bitching and whinging POD.
Seriously at least Wookie, TGB, and Monty are funny when they have a pop you are just passive aggressive whiny. MTFU and stop bitching.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
They're always teasing you, aren't they?
Why do they do that?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
They think I'm shit. Which is fair enough. But it get's tiresome all the time. And boring.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
Indeed
*starts bobby fan club*

You and Monty are the Yin/Yang balance of /offtopic
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
I still don't get it
There are a lot of people shit here, and they don't get thah much abuse. At least he posts new threads, rather than just complaining about someone elses.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:10, Reply)
Aberracion
We need a badge!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:12, Reply)
I wouldn't know how to get one
Or what to put on it. I'm boring and useless like that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)
Haha
Poor guy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
I told my friend I liked her kid "but not in that kinda way *wink wink nudge nudge*

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)
I once described a friend's daughter...
...as 'just like her mother but without the fabulous breasts'.
He did not lol.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)
hahaha I was cracking up and she looked at me and said "why would you even say that?!"
I just laughed more.
Yay for red wine.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)
You still nailed the kid?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
Have you checked
that she hasn't put you in a paedo list already?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)
well she still talks to me so I reckon not

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
Maybe she just wants you to feel safe
until the police arrives.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
well, they'll have a hard time taking me in, since making an off-color joke isn't illegal

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
Damn lawyer!
You know all the tricks, don't you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:11, Reply)
does this rag smell like chloroform to you???

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)
I wouldn't know
How does chloroform smell like?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)
It has no smell!
See? *holds up rag*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)
I don't believe you!
I'm sure it's nasty. You smell it first.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I would have laughed my face off

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
You forget people have real names
My mum however revels in rememebring everyone

She says hi to Wooks, Clendrix and Lusty.
She has never met these people, shes just weird.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)
That's funny.
Is your mum Jean from EastEnders?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)
I don't watch eastenders
She did once ask me if it cost more to send email abroad
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)
I thought this
how do you all refer to each other at bashes?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
Usually by b3ta names.
I get DG all the time at home anyway so i'm used to it.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:55, Reply)
When goatse starts to look like a nice way to pass the time of day.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:55, Reply)
Hahaha!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)
when you start to apply logic to absurd situations
thinking you've made a point.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)
y

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)
is that a q? or adding a y somewhere?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
You start reading Spanky Hanky's amusing QOTW answers

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)
Trick question, he doesn't have any amusing answers.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
I should have done the quote thingies around the amusing bit.
But I thought his posse would come and hound me.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
Ding dong the prick is dead
his fanboys are without a leader.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
What is the beef with SpankyHanky?
We all know his stories are made up, but they do occasionally make you giggle
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
Beats me *shrugs*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)
I don't know, except that I like a bit of truth in a story
Now, when I see that big block of text, I check the sender, and just shrug.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)
I think initially they were quite funny
but after a few weeks, it became all too obvious that they were being written to a formula. Trouble was, if you pointed this out then his fanclub would wade in and flame you all the way back to /offtopic. I think the beef, generally, is more with the Cult of Spanky than Spanky himself.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
When you read something on facebook
and you wait for the replies to come full of strikeouts.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)
Ha, you can tell a b3tan if they reply with <s>

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
I know
Enzyme does that, but it gets non-b3tan confused.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
I would kill for strikethroughs on fb

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)
Ask for them

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)
who? Mr Facebook?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:09, Reply)
Yes, go on
Let's see if he does it for you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:12, Reply)
r

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)
You know it's gonz without reading the name.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)
You recognise people by their icons.
You respond to gazes quicker than texts
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)
That's too bad
BGB and Bart have the same icon, and their names start very similar, so I'm geting confused all the time about who wrote what.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:09, Reply)
Bad, bad
They don't have the same icon anymore, so my post doesn't make sense.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:12, Reply)
That's Ok, you can start to read my drivel, thinking it was from BGB.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)
It's been difficult
I couldn't understand why she was so excited and interested on breasts.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)
I think she's a bit bi.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)
When you haven't been on time for anything in the past year.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)
When you've run out of people to punch, fuck or insult.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:11, Reply)
That is an interesting variation on 'kiss, shag or marrry'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)
and yet she has done none of those things to me
there should be a badge
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)
At the point of orgasm she punched me in the face...
...proposed and called me a cunt.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)
And you STILL said no!

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)
But Chompy told me that 'no' means 'yes'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)
You try to explain memes
or b3ta in general, to your offline friends. I don't think that's ever gone well.
(berk, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:13, Reply)
you think of things in terms of memes

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)
When you tell a crying 6 year old to MTFU.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)
Your wife gets home and the dinner isn't even started.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)
When it's MORE acceptable to tell your parents you met your boyfriend on Facebook

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 17:53, Reply)

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