Timely you ask me what I'm eating...
...as I am skint at the moment, went shopping at Lidl's yesterday. Bought one of their own brand Pot Noodles.

It's worse than you can imagine. I think I would get better nutrition and taste from chewing cardboard....yucks.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:17, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sadly, I give not the remotest fuck for what you are eating

( broadsword, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Probably more interesting than the colour of my pants...

(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:23, Reply)

are they pot noodle beige?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Almost as bad
(checks undercarriage) they are black with white checks on them. Utilitarian, boring.

I've loads of silk boxers I bought in Hong Kong a few years ago but as they were fairly cheap and I can't be arsed doing a special silk wash, they don't feel like they used to. Ho hum. And that's all the news on my underwear that's fit to print...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:33, Reply)

They sound more than a little bent, old chap.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Ooh, not that I'm into
either batting for the opposing team or have any underwear fetishes, but silk does feel nice. But I think I should stop this conversation right now, because I can understand it might give people nightmares or indeed the wrong idea...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:47, Reply)

silk does feel nice
but don't be fooled into getting silk bedsheets, every time you roll over the fucking duvet slides off the sodding sheet like water down glass
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:51, Reply)

^This
No way of getting a grip on the damn things. Very awkward.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

My sister told me she once had two duvets on her bed because she was cold
and she tried to pull them up to her chin but they were heavier than she thought and she lost her grip and punched herself in the face. I roffled.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 12:06, Reply)

You bought a cheaper version of something that was crap to start with.
Silly boy!
( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:19, Reply)

...as I am skint at the moment, went shopping at Lidl's yesterday. Bought one of their own brand Pot Noodles.

It's worse than you can imagine. I think I would get better nutrition and taste from chewing cardboard....yucks.
...my sister
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:21, Reply)

ha ha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Actually that reminds me
it's her birthday today. Have sent card, need to ring up and sing to her - old family tradition and all that.

But no, I haven't fucked her. Not even on her birthday.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:26, Reply)

ha ha!
/bandwagon

I don't think this one is bert though.

mind you, I didn't think the last one was either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I don't think it is either, I just went for the cheap laugh
It's someone for sure though. Maybe that smug twat Vip... oh wait
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:31, Reply)

you may be onto something there
we discussed creating an account a la WBM and making up fake lives to see if anyone notices.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I've got another account
but haven't used it for months and months.

Annoyingly I accidentally answered a qotw with it, and got on the front page I think.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Never made one
Can't be bothered to. Or is this a bluff?
No it isn't.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:35, Reply)

it's not a bluff
I made mine to annoy Kaol I think. A good reason, I am sure you will agree.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I agree, and commend you for it
*handshakes*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:37, Reply)

oh so you're SpankyHanky?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:40, Reply)

good god no

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Well of course I'm *someone*
these boring posts of mine aren't being generated as part of some Turing test. But someone called Bert who allegedly your honour fucked his sister (I'm tempted to ask how you know this, but in lots of ways don't want to know) I am not.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:36, Reply)

you don't seem like him
which is a good thing, I can assure you.

He fucked his half-sister, and we know because he told us. on several occasions.

It is focussed on too much though, so the least said about him the better.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Eurrgh, grim.
I have two half-sisters and have never wanted to bump uglies with them on any occasion. And believe me, I will be happy when I'm no longer called Bert ! That information on top of the grim taste of cheap Pot Noodle is making me feel somewhat queasy...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I had a real Pot Noodle a few months ago
and it was very disappointing, I think they've taken out most of the salt and MSG and whatever it was that used to make it yum. Or maybe I've just eaten too much real food recently and I've been spoiled.

Pot Noodles shouldn't be eaten once you're over the age of 18 unless you're at university or a festival.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:24, Reply)

They have never been anything other than repulsive, you oik.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Nah sometimes you need to ingest rubbish
FFS, as if normal people get home after a night out and go "oh I've had imbibed rather a lot of wine and am simply ravenous, I think I'll just whip up a pork terrine and garden salad!"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:30, Reply)

'Normal' people are simply horrid.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:35, Reply)

perhaps you should question whether or not you're the one who is horrid.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I have done. I'm not.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I did too, but I came up with a completely different answer
strange that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)

You are a self-confessed vulgarian
and thus your opinions on what may or may not be 'horrid' are null and void.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I'm not a Vulgarian
I don't even have pointy ears
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I have no comeback to a pun as lame as this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Well I'm not a self-confessed vulgarian
you pretentious arse.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I keep an emergency one at work...
...in case of shopping fails.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Yeah, they aren't all that
apart from the Bombay Bad Boy which at least delivers on some levels. Generally I don't eat instant food, but sometimes it's easier than cooking for one, especially for breakfast. Yes I should have had porridge instead, much healthier...anyway, I am being boring. Will shut up now.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)

If you find that you start to get boring in posts then just throw in the odd 'cunt' or 'vag' and no one will notice.

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:29, Reply)

*smiles at rude words*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Chicago Town pizzas are the ultimate in 'I'm hungry, need food five minutes ago' stakes.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:31, Reply)

^ this

(berk, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:34, Reply)

There's a line to be drawn...
...and pizza for breakfast is definitely it.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:34, Reply)

which side of the line is pizza for breakfast on though?
Because it belongs on the "this is totally acceptable" side
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Mmm
last nights cold pizza for lunch (having slept through breakfast time) is excellent.
(berk, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)

IFF popped in the microwave for 90 seconds

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Nope, cold
straight out of the fridge. Warm or lukewarm (i.e., forgot to put it in the fridge) is not acceptable.
(berk, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:50, Reply)

No, I think that's a step too far for me.
Geek quotient:

a) living alone
b) spending life on Internet (sometimes working, true)
c) large film collection (no, not all p0rn)
d) overweight

add (e) eats pizza for breakfast to that list and I might as well give up, balloon to 20 stone and grow some weird facial hair and wear the same T shirt constantly.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)

you are bobby
aicmfp
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:48, Reply)

ha you beat me to it

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I am appalled by this.
Someone gave me one of those at their house one drunken night. I think I enjoyed the scalding my mouth got more than the taste. Fucking filth.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:36, Reply)

oh shut your whinging trap
miserable.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Hurr hurr
Hey, Kitty, what's Monty's favourite musical?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I don't know, what is Monty's favourite musical?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Rent
Because he's an AIDS bummer.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Cats - because he is a pussy.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:46, Reply)

We Will Rock You
Because he's a Queen.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I am still here, you know.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:48, Reply)

You're lucky I don't know many musicals
Hairspray, because you got a raging hard-on when you saw John Travolta dressed as a fat woman, you massive Scientologist-loving tranny fancier.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:52, Reply)

someone gaz Darth!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:53, Reply)

z s
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Love it!
Also, I apologise for saying you love Scientologists. That was a decidedly ungentlemanly thing to do.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I like all of these

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Pussies, Queens and Bummers?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)