GOOD MORNING !
What a totally awesome week it's been ! I have manflu though, which is sad times, I donno what the rules are about manflu, 'cus I'd be happy to go into work, it's just that I don't want to infect the rest of the office.

Tell me about how content with life you are at the moment !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 7:22, 42 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Go to work you lazy creature.
Then let the boss send you home.

I'm not very content with my life, even though I should be.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 7:39, Reply)

^this
Given the recent nature of your employment, best to get in early with a graphic demonstration that when you claim to be ill you really are. First impressions last.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 7:45, Reply)

Also, everybody in my office has the sniffles at the least, and not a single sicky is taken.
Couple of Parrots eat'em all, and you'll be fine.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 7:47, Reply)

Coolio, I'm just gonna leave after this fag.
Today they're taking me out to the data centre, which I don't really get 'cus there are 4 of us going, everyone is excited to go, and I need photo ID.

I ain't been to a data centre, but the fact that everyone is woo-hoo'ing over it makes me suspect that this data centre might be a bit more than just that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:05, Reply)

If you like looking at racks of computers and switches, you will love it.
Otherwise, boring.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:07, Reply)

There's probably a pub for lunch involved
and no rush to get back to the office...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:27, Reply)

It's like the Playboy Mansion, I heard.
There are, like, HOT CHICKS all over the place in lab coats and glasses, which they keep looking seductively over and pouting.

That's what I heard, anyway. Chompy told me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:29, Reply)

Very, I have two dates next week
Things are good at the moment :)
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 7:41, Reply)

With two different people or with one?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 7:45, Reply)

With one :s

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 7:55, Reply)

Have fun then,

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:07, Reply)

OH MAN !
Alright maxi, things are looking good. Glad to see you over in these isles of b3ta.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:05, Reply)

I like this board
People are friendly and I've been called cute. I'm hooked :)
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:09, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:22, Reply)

Fuck off Bert.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:32, Reply)

Hahahaha
Are you READY FOR DAVSTOCK?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:33, Reply)

Fuck yeah!
It'll be awesome. And somewhat larger than anticipated.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:38, Reply)

If I had a pound for every time I'd heard that....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:40, Reply)

You'd have a pound by now?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:41, Reply)

You are so funny
that I suspect you may be a puppet account for Russ Abbott. Or Freddie Starr.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:44, Reply)

*moves hamster out of harm's way*

(Cave Duck, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 9:16, Reply)

:(

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:49, Reply)

So the boo-hooing about being an ugly chick-repellent
was 100% complete emo-ing and wholly fabricated?

On the one hand, I am pleased for you....on the other, you're clearly a big fat liar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:31, Reply)

Or are the dates with a big gay man?
Is that how you've got around your 'problem'? If so, points for lateral thinking.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:32, Reply)

I only seem to attract a) mentals or b) after a quick shag
I'm pretty sure this person is a b) but I don't just jump into bed, which has turned b)s into a)s in the past.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:35, Reply)

So the second date is for shagging, and the first is to drive him mental?
Do you find this approach works?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:37, Reply)

What?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:49, Reply)

Aha. My specialist subject, this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:39, Reply)

Seriously
One girl said she had cancer because I wouldn't sleep with her straight away.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Have you got her phone number?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Pfft :p

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Go to work!
Being ill is no excuse for not going into the office - I make my staff come in even if they have the shits. They may as well be here feeling rough as be at home, at least here they'll earn some money.

We'll send people home if they're that bad, but having zero tolerance does mean that my staff absentee level is less than a day year each.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:18, Reply)

Do you run a leper colony?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:26, Reply)

My staff are only allowed in if they have the shits.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:31, Reply)

Tell us that you don't check their anal apertures for signs of soreness.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:39, Reply)

I'll tell you that, if that's what you want to hear.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:41, Reply)

I'll take it that you do then.
I hope Bobby and Darth are reading this.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:45, Reply)

They're not,
because they're both in ambulances being rushed to A&E having torn their pasty little winkles off in excitement at the very thought of it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Ah, I see, a cunning plan to pretend you are a big bumder.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:49, Reply)

Things aren't too bad, young man.
Glad you are enjoying your employment. Very glad indeed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:34, Reply)

I'm back at my parents, this means zero bills
But I've got to spend the next few months paying off overdrafts, etc. Ah well, I'll appreciate payday much more this month!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:42, Reply)

What a wonderfully life-affirming way to start the day
Good on you Gonz, and am very glad to hear that the new job is going well.

I'm mostly in a ruthlessly good mood, despite having completely relinquished anything resembling a social life to dancing for the duration of the University term, still slightly drunk on the notion of my forthcoming TV appearance and subsequent prize money. Also, my tickets to see Pendulum and Hasouken! arrived last night, and I seem to have written a QOTW post so offensive as to be appropriately deserving of the term "B3tan".

Thank you for asking.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 8:54, Reply)