f5 this motherfucker!!
favourite one liners, comebacks, put downs etc?

alt Q: Anyone free tomorrow night? I'm at a loose end.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:29, 170 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So's your mum's face.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Yeah I'm free tomorrow night, what do you fancy doing?

( broadsword, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:30, Reply)

slide show, moonlit stroll, bumming?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Ah just realised I'm trimming the bush tomorrow, soz

( broadsword, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:47, Reply)

...bash is tomorrow night. So FUCK YOU NO.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:31, Reply)

You know what to do tomorrow night
And if you don't do it, you're dead to me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:31, Reply)

that's the joke. I can't going to another party that's much closer.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Bah
Excuses
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Really. REALLY.
You really are Chompy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I hope not.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Yes
I'm so sure of that. He's trying to avoid meeting any of us for a reason.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:36, Reply)

only some of you.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:37, Reply)

omg YOU'RE BERT

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)

omg YOU'RE AL

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I'm way fatter than Al

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I don't know which one is worse
Fucking your sister or telling bad jokes for hours?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:47, Reply)

pretty sure it'sfucking a sibling, but hey don't take my word for it.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I'm busy tomorrow night Bob.
You cunt.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:32, Reply)

my brother and his mates will text or email me and just say
DISMISSED.

alt - sorry, i don't have a free weekend evening for many many weeks, not even for you!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Is there a story behind the 'DISMISSED' texts/emails you are going to share?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:36, Reply)

no
they just send that.

it's v irritating!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Irritating it maybe
But you'd miss it if it stopped.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:40, Reply)

like athletes foot

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:41, Reply)

maybe
maybe
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I'm busy tomorrow but I'm looking for an excuse to cancel.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Remember, I'll be there.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I know but I have about 40 minutes
to try to get 2 of the laak onside before we meet and you start swinging.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Oh, I see. I'm not going to punch you.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:38, Reply)

*eyes suspiciously*

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:41, Reply)

good morning dear
Quick question: are me and kitty going to have time to get changed at yours, or shall we train down in what we're bashing in?
(it will only take me ten minutes to get changed?)
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:41, Reply)

The pub's about 500m from the station
so I'd go straight to the pub.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Wave at my old Uni hall from the window of the pub, will you?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Of course I will.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Well, of course it depends on whether you want to drop your stuff off or not.
If yes, I do live about 45 mins away by bus and we'll be going in rush hour. Actually, we could always get a bus and a tube. Or the overground.
ARGH
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Erm ,if it's not too much trouble, I would like to drop my stuff off,
Don't want to be carting round a sleeping bag and that.
I think Kitty will say the same?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I thought so.
I'm going to check train times, but I'm imagining they'll also be pretty chocca as it's rush hour on a Friday. You picked the best time to arrive, didn't you :P
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Get them to dump their bags in Left Luggage

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I'll dump you in left luggage

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:00, Reply)

:(

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Not really.
Who will protect me from chompy if I did?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Aww thanks
I'm sure Mr Chomp will behave most gentlemanly though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Yeah, he doesn't like me anymore

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:13, Reply)

*puts on cape*

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Oi, I'm the one that wears capes

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:14, Reply)

sorry
*puts underwear on outside*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Does that make you Vampito's sidekick?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Thank you
Just let us know which is best.
Yeah we did, didn't we. Bugger.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:05, Reply)

yes please, I'd like to drop my slanket off
I probably don't have time to get changed though, it takes a while to get in a corset so I'll probably have to wear it on the train. I might have to stand up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:56, Reply)

You could put it on on the train
When we're nearly there. I'll lace you up in the toilets.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Do it around Milton Keynes.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:02, Reply)

haha that'll be brilliant
think of the 'huh' noises you make when someone is tightlacing the air out of your lungs? That wouldn't sound suspicious!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Hahaha yesss

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:14, Reply)

there is a "left luggage" facility at euston station
you could always stick your stuff in there and pick it up on the way home again, it's secure and only costs a couple of quid?

*helps*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I guess it's cost around the same as the journey to Cambers and back would
especially as to make good time you'd have to get a tube and a bus and probably an overground too.

EDIT: Not really suitable, the office closes at 23.00
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:04, Reply)

What time does that close though?
Edit: Ah, question answered.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:05, Reply)

RIGHT, your best move is:
Get on the Northern line in Euston southbound to Oval. It doesn't matter if you go via Bank or Charing Cross, you may have to change to the other branch at Kennington but that's no biggie, it doens't cost any more. Once you get to Oval go out of the station. You should see a big park to the left and a churchy building to your right, across a road. Look to your left BEHIND YOU. You should see the Brit Oval buildings. There will be a road leading down here, to your left and behind. There are two bus stops. Cross the road away from the station, and get on the 36, 436 or 185 towards Camberwell. Text me at Vassell Street, or whatever. Something to do with Vassall or Vassell. Get off when the bus says smething about Camberwell Green or Denmark Hill.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Or just take your bags to the pub, like I am, you lazy ladies.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)

yeah, or that.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)

We have more shit than you.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:12, Reply)

how much shit do you have?
I was going to bring a hand luggage sized case, if your stuff would fit in there we could share it?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Not much really, it's just my sleeping bag
Pjs and a change of clothes. It's the sleeping bag that will be a pain. If it'll fit in your bag, that would be fabulous. It does squash down pretty small - it's not a proper sleeping bag, more like a fleece blanket bag
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Well I'll leave as much room in my case as poss
and we can try and tardis it in there at the station, see what happens.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Did you just get a gaz off chompy?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:28, Reply)

In short:
EUSTON - Northern Line South to:
OVAL - bus (36, 436, 185) to:
CAMBERWELL GREEN/DENMARK HILL
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Er
Ok. *copies and pastes*
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:12, Reply)

I would worry they might try and explode it

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I love the difference between our concerns about this idea.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:11, Reply)

I thought that said "outside"
And I assumed you were planning some kind of behind-the-bins threesome.

And I thought "Ambitious".
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I quite like 'the laak'
like we're mythical creatures.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Beware, the laak
The beast with 4 heads and 4 bodies!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:44, Reply)

And six chins!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Christ that was pretty mean.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)

But fucking funny!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I has a sad because the extra 2 belong to me :(

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)

S'alright
I too suffer from the curse of evil cameras slapping additional chins to my face.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Yes
That's the cameras fault...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

At least you didn't say 8
2 of them are still normal.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I was hedging my bets, I don't wanna upset all of them before the bash.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I've got my eyes on you....

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I'm sure you have, dear.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:51, Reply)

-licks lips-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:53, Reply)

-_-

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:55, Reply)

^_^

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)

But...
3 with double chins, 1 with no chin...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I don't know which is worse

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:53, Reply)

don't worry
I'll claim two chins
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Like sirens!
But with more booze and corsets
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I'll be having little of one and none of the other, I think!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:49, Reply)

haha yeah pissed, trashy sirens.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:57, Reply)

And less bird feet.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I'm now picturing the 4 of you on a rock
Swigging gin, cackling and shouting obscene come-ons to sailors, whilst "Here come the girls" plays in the background.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Oh Jesus.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Beautiful, isn't it?
My brain is fucking awesome.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:02, Reply)

:(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:03, Reply)

:(

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I'm most upset about the choice of music
Surely we should get something halfway decent?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:03, Reply)

This.
I have no idea as to what though.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Who let the dogs out?
Oh God that was mean of me, I'm so sorry!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I'm considering redacting my no-punching promise.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Ok ok
How about "Girl Anachronism"?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I like this.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:15, Reply)

It's been stuck in my head since the drive in to work this morning.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:18, Reply)

I approve.
You can pop up and say "The attention just encourages her"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:29, Reply)

It's ok, I made no such promise.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:15, Reply)

hahaha!
Odysseus wouldn't have stood a chance.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I'll be wearing a GIR hoodie
And I'm better looking than you now
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:38, Reply)

No offence, great banter

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:40, Reply)

There was a period when you weren't?
Fucking hell, Maxi. That must have been a low time.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I really really hope you're going to wear it on the train all the way down on your own.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:41, Reply)

God forbid he doesn't look like a paperclip salesman

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Damn... I'm outnumbered.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)

What the fuck is a GIR hoodie?
I'm so not down with you kids.
( broadsword, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:46, Reply)

A hoodie that looks like this
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post923190
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:47, Reply)

It looks like a page off b3ta?

( broadsword, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:48, Reply)

DANCE DANCE DANCE

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I will buy you a pint
if you do that dance.
(berk, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:54, Reply)

What do I have to do to get a hug?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:56, Reply)

A couple of pints and I'll hug just about anybody
And indeed, I probably will.
(berk, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Just pick any from this page
www.imdb.com/character/ch0003741/quotes
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:35, Reply)

"You complete Osborne"...
...is perhaps the best way to convey my disgust at someone's complete and utter vileness.

Tomorrow night I will be consuming alcohol with a bunch of strangers from teh internet. I don't expect to survive the experience.

[edited for spelling of Monkeyturd]
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:37, Reply)

You won't, I assure you ;)

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Conveys it better if you spell Osborne correctly, though
;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Sorry, I'm busy tomorrow night

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:37, Reply)

A proper comeback or put down
is best when it's relevant to the conversation, any famous one liners or put downs are a bit contrived methinks.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Your face is contrived

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:43, Reply)

That's what she said.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)

yo momma so fat
other mommas orbit her.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I taught you that

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:46, Reply)

You really didn't young-un.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:47, Reply)

errr
I think I did
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Your mum is contrived

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Your mum's face is contrived!
YESSSS!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:49, Reply)

NOOOOO
You can't come back to that :(
You win.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:50, Reply)

That's the rules
Your face - Your mum - Your mum's face. The end.
*shakes hands*
Good game.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Well done.
Rematch later?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:54, Reply)

It'd be a pleasure!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:56, Reply)

your face is a pleasure
no wait, I did it wrong
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Nope, you got it spot on
Your mum's a pleasure.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:00, Reply)

your mum's face...
..dammit!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I find "fuck you" to be an obvious but cathartic catch-all rebuttal
I agree with Kitty, it's better to respond appropriately than to unleash a stock phrase. For example, just last night at Ballroom practice a lesbian friend of mine made some comment to which I replied "shurrup rugmuncher" and she didn't know what I meant. Fucking young people today, etc
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:51, Reply)

you are a paedo
aicmfp
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:54, Reply)

The price on my head is substantially higher than five pounds
but that's what happens when you drop your shipment at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Paedophilia and anti-gay insults in the same post?
Nice work there, Foxtrot.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I thank you
*Does unnecessarily extravagant bow, practised from beginning of Viennese Waltz routine*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Wow, amazing comeback.
Like, I'm in shock at how witty that is.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Yes, well, the point I was making was
that in that instance a stock response fell flat on its arse, whereas something wittier and appropriate to the situation may not have.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:58, Reply)

my mum once asked me what a carpet muncher was
it was a horrible conversation.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Absolutely the best thing you could have done there
would have been to slowly raise your hand, whilst looking sheepishly at your shoes

"Best" in relation to creating a great QOTW post, not in relation to how it would've made you feel
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I remember being about 11 when my sister and I asked our parents what a clitoris was

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:01, Reply)

When I was about 9 my sister called me a lesbian
so I asked her what it was and she said "you". Burn.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Your sister is obviously phenomenally prescient
Is she Mystic Meg?

Insert line about claiming five pounds here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:07, Reply)

That's like the only witty thing she's ever said
trust me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Seems unfair to assume you that you got the looks AND the brains
although if she was able to make the kind of a call when you were only 9 it stands to reason she's psychic
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Together?!
Dude
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:07, Reply)

We'd just watched that episode of Red Dwarf
Where Rimmer forms the Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:09, Reply)

That may be the best, and most points-worthy, response to an accusation of weirdness I've ever seen

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Where's Monty?
Fine I'll do it.

"We'd just watched that episode of Red Dwarf
Where Rimmer smegs the Smeg for the Smegeration and Intesmegation of Smegifying Smegisms and their Smeg Into Smeggety"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:24, Reply)

That took some effort on your part
So, thanks for that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

my friend's dreadfully naive mother
once asked her what fellatio was. how can you hook a husband without knowing what a blowjob is??

although she was a nurse. maybe it was the uniform.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:04, Reply)

...or perhaps she was actually very adept at blowjobs but didn't know the term
A bit like Mark van Bommel. He's very good at fightin', but he calls it "football"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Homer Simpson's immortal line:
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:07, Reply)

My favourite Simpsons quotes are from the Thomas Edison episode
with the 'everything's ok alarm'
"IT WILL SOUND EVERY 3 SECONDS UNLESS SOMETHING ISN'T OK"
"how do you turn it off?"
"It can't be turned off!"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:25, Reply)

"For the woman who only has three thousandths of a second to apply her makeup"

(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

I have to tailor my 'witty' remarks
for the company I am in.

Busy tomorrow night, bashing it up
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:17, Reply)

If you were a bloke
I would assume you meant MASTURBATION
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

However I'm not

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Prove it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

For God's sake do you never listen to me,
how come whenever I say anything it goes in one ear and out the other, I told you specifically I was looking for cerise, not magenta or fuschia.

/misogyny
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)

That'll do it
Well played
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:52, Reply)

"What's in the bag"?
"Nothing you'd want to die for sonny"
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)