i don't need news to make a twat of myself
it just happens. in the last 5 mins i nearly fell over in front of Insolvencyboy because my patent shoes stuck themselves together, ffs.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:16, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

No designer name for those patent shoes?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:19, Reply)

yes this particular pair
are by a highly exclusive designer called marks and spencer.

intensely irritating. strangers stop me on the tube to ask where i got them from. they were £25 from marks. how many people notice the £300 pairs? none. that's how many.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I just spent £200 odd on shoes for my wife
They're lovely and get a lot of attention.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:31, Reply)

on odd shoes?
i'm not surprised, get her a matching pair next time.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

The attention comes because she's in a wheelchair
and has to balance them on her lap.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Proper Officelolz at this.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

My nutty ex has some M&S shoes that I couldn't believe were from there.
They are patent actually. Bet they're the same ones.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

probably
they do have really good stuff.

the problem, as you've just proved, is that everyone has it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:49, Reply)

InsolvencyBoy!
The latest marvel superhero
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:19, Reply)

i used to have the biggest
heart thumping sweaty palmed tongue tied crush on this guy. he is the only other person who is ever allowed to drive my car, ffs. he kindly looks after it when i am on holiday. he is doing me a favour, that's all.

but now he has a gf (well actually it turned out he had one all along) i don't fancy him any more. at all. not even a little bit. but the more i try to tell my colleagues that, the less they believe me!

anyway. he's no superhero. but he would look bloody good in some tight red and blue lycra.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Is it their adhesive nature that warranted patenting them?
When are you going on Dragons Den?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:20, Reply)

never
i hate reality tv!

except ANTM, which is legendary.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:31, Reply)

What is ANTM?

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

america's next top model you philistine

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Sorry
I don't watch telly owing to working and then having a life.

(by which I mean, being run ragged by a small child).
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

This has happened to me before.
I also once got the heel of my left shoe caught in the beautiful little velvet bow on my right show and proper face planted in the office. I grabbed a chair to stop myself but it was a wheely chair so it just made it all the more comical.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:35, Reply)

this is when you suspect skulduggery
but then the shoes are so beautiful there is no way they could have meant to hurt you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

have you seen my facebook update? I've linked some proper fit shoes.
I really hope someone buys a pair for me, THEY'RE SO PAINFUL LOOKING!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:43, Reply)

And we all agree that pain is the primary reason for buying shoes
I fit my insoles with big spikes to ensure a proper fit.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:45, Reply)

"really hope someone buys a pair for me"
Christ... your sig is truly fitting.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:45, Reply)

is it now....ugly?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:55, Reply)

*sighs*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I actually changed my sig before I saw this.
I have lols.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:58, Reply)

no!
as soon as the trainee buggers off to court (i am throwing 30 people out of their "homes" this afternoon, well, hopefully anyway), i will get on and have a look
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:48, Reply)

You're making 30 people homeless?
Good for you swipey, you're a credit to the world.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:55, Reply)

they were homeless already
they thought they could move into my client's property, live there for free, and trash it.

my client is a charity. which now will have nowhere to train its guide dogs for quite a while because of the needles and LOLdrugz that have been going on here and require specialist cleaning. so yeah... personally i hope these waste of skin squatters die in a fire!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Al voted for Nick Clegg.
I think his opinions on ANYTHING AT ALL can be safely discounted.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I have never been so dissapointed in anything in my whole life
as I have been in Clegg and Cable. I expected nothing but stupidity and incompetence from the tories, but I genuinely thought those two actually had some integrity.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 13:18, Reply)

You can weep on my liberal democratic middle class academic shoulder.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Thanks

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 13:47, Reply)

They look good, if incredibly painful
Why don't girls just wear comfortable shoes?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:53, Reply)

shut your stupid face

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Is there not at least some middle ground?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:57, Reply)

No.
Actually there is, the more expensive the shoe the more comfortable they tend to be, annoyingly. Some are proper crippling but others are beautiful and comfortable.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Shoes should be practical
Shoes are never beautiful as such, they only attain any merit when worn by ladies in nothing but sexy lingerie.

Stockings OR hold ups, i'm not too fussy.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:45, Reply)

rubbish!!
what about skinny jeans tucked into fuck-me boots, or fitted/flared black or charcoal trousers with a hint of shiny red high heel peeping out from underneath?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Ah, boots are another dimension altogether
Fuck me boots, with thick woolen stockings peeping over the top....aaaaand not much else, thanks very much
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:49, Reply)

i have loads of pairs of boots
i only have one pair that is (are?? is??) too slutty for work, though. i need moar slutty boots.

not so sure about the thick granny stockings though, you might be on your own there, pal.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Dont get me wrong, I 'll take stockings of any denier
But i do have a thing for those thicker ones, with or without boots....the ones that end just above the knee, preferably slightly rolled down at the top, with the legs then wrapped round my face.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I'm in.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:51, Reply)

what, the boots? or the red stilettoes?
they are properly painful, but they go very well with red fishnets.

if, of course, you were the sort of girl who owned such items of clothing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:51, Reply)

which we are not.
_{I also have some pale pink fishnets, they're so pretty}
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I have some thigh high fuck me boots
I've only worn them once though, to a pirate party.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:55, Reply)

are we on shoes
AGAIN!?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:59, Reply)

see this is why people think you're a guy

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Good boots are a winner
when on nice legs
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 29 Oct 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I'm not a fan of stockings
I think they're a load of faff.

I don't really like frippery and over-elaboration in anything to be honest; functional yet attractive when it comes to underwear, brutalist when it comes to architecture (I'm a Park Hill and Hyde Park, Sheffield veteran), and minimal when it comes to possessions.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Hold ups are beautiful.
And practical.

Disasterprone - King of Tesco Value seduction.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I feel justified in the comment i just posted below, and will buy you some airmax.

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Hey, I do all the good stuff - nice food, posh place, nice clothes,
and enjoy all the build-up fun, but I'm just not a fan of over-complicating things!

I remember one girlfriend who just went to a load of effort, and tried to do everything slowly and teasingly. I just got fucking bored.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 29 Oct 2010, 12:59, Reply)