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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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EVENING SUNBEAMS!
I'm about to rewrite my old dating site profile (eugh). In it you have to describe oneself in the following format:

I am _______, ________ and _______

Try it, you might like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:23, 210 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I am a FUCKING LARPER and I SMELL

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:23, Reply)
hello by the way

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:24, Reply)
You've seen my profile, then?
I meant, you do it for you. Or is this a new confession
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:25, Reply)
No, I'm not a larper.
Not yet. I can't think of anything to put for myself but I'm sure someone will say something like paperclip salesman and rapist.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:27, Reply)
so, how's the paperclip raping business these days?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:28, Reply)
Meh, it's alright,
hows the something you do?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:31, Reply)
it's something
and something, like, yeah
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:33, Reply)
awesome

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:35, Reply)
Going by the stated punctuation, that would make you
A paperclip, a salesman and a rapist. I love the thought that you are a paperclip.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:29, Reply)
It looks like you're writing a letter?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:31, Reply)
That made me lol.
Well done.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:32, Reply)
I'm very witty.
Haven't you heard?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:33, Reply)
I just imagined you popping up in the corner of my screen
though that would be horrifying.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:36, Reply)
That idea would sell millions.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:40, Reply)
FUCK YEAH TOP OF /TALK AND /OFFTOPICS POPULAR PAGE
I haven't had that for months.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:41, Reply)
10/10 top class beakering.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:47, Reply)
*takes a bow*

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:52, Reply)
I like this
But I hate that paperclip.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:32, Reply)
it gives other paperclips
a bad name
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:33, Reply)
perhaps you should put
I am rotting, a corpse and liable to cause an incident
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:29, Reply)
this is very tempting
I already have one of my profile pictures where I'm painted up as an ice hag.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:31, Reply)
attractive, sane, single

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:31, Reply)
mine probably would be "chubby, mental and liable to thwack you in the jaw"

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:32, Reply)
no this is better for you
' I am pretty, a classicist and looking for a masochist who can handle punches
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:36, Reply)
*Rolls up newspaper and smacks you on the nose with it*
BAD LAMPITO, BAD LAMPITO.

I've decided this is how I'm going to react to your "OH NOES I R UNATTRACTIVE" posts.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:42, Reply)
Did I say I was unattractive?
I only said punchy chubby and nutty.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:09, Reply)
It sounded negative.
"Big Personailty, [actually, that counts for both the first two] and fiesty".
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:17, Reply)
I'm BUBBLY OMGGEEEE!
Christ i hate people who describe themselves as bubbly. IT almost always means giddy, giggly and fat.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:18, Reply)
"I work in I.T" is the male job equivilent.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:33, Reply)
never written a dating profile
I can't think of anything good to put. Most of the things I like about myself are quite offputting to others
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:33, Reply)
Don't forget to add the word 'charming'!
Or your cooking skills!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:35, Reply)
good point
I am charming, occasionally funny and a terrible pedant
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:38, Reply)
Everyone worthwhile loves pedantry

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:40, Reply)
yeah, but that filters out the wimps

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:36, Reply)
You enjoy that you can rip men's cocks off with your bare hands?
I imagine most guys would find that off-putting.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:36, Reply)
I am
Joey Deacon and Bent?

I don't know. What I'm guessing that is that Internet dating sites are designed to rob people of both their dignity and money.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:34, Reply)
it's a free one
and I have no dignity
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:35, Reply)
I didn't know such sites existed.
I thought they were all 'pay' sites.

Isn't it full of nutters?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:39, Reply)
I am well read, well mannered and well.
Good evening all.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:36, Reply)
"I am rich, royalty, and a liar"

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:36, Reply)
Young, Gifted, Black.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:41, Reply)
Low, Down and Dirty

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:43, Reply)
"The means", "The motive" and "Lacking in opportunity"

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:44, Reply)
How about putting "on the rebound, cheap and desperate"

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:46, Reply)
*sniggers*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:49, Reply)
Suave, Scottish and handsome.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:47, Reply)
Lovely, quite hot, you bastard.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:48, Reply)
bit longer but anyway...
Rippling hunk of a guy, washboard stomach, blond, blue-eyed, just 36, WLTM woman with open mind and some experience of taking hallucinogens.
(Kip, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:55, Reply)
I reckon I'd pay money to see two people on hallucinogens go at it.
"AGHHHHH, IT'S A WORM AND IT'S BLINKING AT ME !!!! AGHHH !!! IT'S THROWN UP"
"AGHHHHH, IT'S A CUTHLU !!!!!!!"
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:58, Reply)
'just 36'
old
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:03, Reply)
yeah... 3 weeks ago.

(Kip, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 15:07, Reply)
"the one", "and loanly", "nobody I'd rather be".

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:55, Reply)
I am PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY I FEEL PRETTY and WHITTY AND GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:58, Reply)

PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY I FEEL PRETTY and WHITTY AND GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY VACANT!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:00, Reply)
I want to go home :,((((((

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:01, Reply)
It's a famous punk song and not a serious attempt to insult you.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:02, Reply)
I don't know it
but I didn't take it as that
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:03, Reply)
:(
Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:05, Reply)
don't be sorry
the statement was fairly correct
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:06, Reply)
Well why not listen to the Sex Pistols
What's the matter?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:07, Reply)
I just did. I liked it well enough.
without rehashing the details, I'm really fucking tired, haven't slept the past two nights
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:12, Reply)
Could this be your perfect match?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5hnCb-93WY
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:16, Reply)
sorry, had to stop listening
did not like
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:29, Reply)
Why do you want to go home?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IJGjkA72f4
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:04, Reply)
Awesome, big and desperate.
I think that covers everything.


Dating sites are crap.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:01, Reply)
for realz
I need a match maker
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:02, Reply)
Mint or Orange?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:03, Reply)
neither
ew
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:04, Reply)
I love the mint ones the best.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:04, Reply)
Prepare for surprising strike-through.
Awesome, big and desperate Awesome and Awesome and I avoid walking dogs when it rains.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:02, Reply)
Aw!
*scuffs feet*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:03, Reply)
Has anyone seen the Pandatron anywhere?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:10, Reply)
He's just realised it's all true.
Although I didn't imagine it would take him so long.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:11, Reply)
Battered.
You make me feel like Bob.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:18, Reply)

Bob dancing

EDIT: Sorry. In a particularly obnoxious mood. Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:20, Reply)
Alright Leo, calm down

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:21, Reply)
You've really got it about you this evening haven't you?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:21, Reply)
Please see my edit.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:25, Reply)
I don't mind.
Sobs
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:28, Reply)
I made the fatal mistake of mentioning tattoos and peircings on some dating sites.
Which obviously must mean I'M A FUCKING SEX MANIAC.


And before anyone says anything......I'M NOT. Just forum banter innit.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:08, Reply)
How many dating sites are there over there?
Around here the only ones well known are match and eharmony
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:13, Reply)
I only tried them and one other I can't remember the name of.
It destroyed what little confindence I managed to scrape off the bottom of my shoe after my last relationship.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:16, Reply)
And a reason why I'd never join any in the first place!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:17, Reply)
No one warned me : (

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:19, Reply)
I can cope with rejection in a pub as I can always get myself another pint.
But online rejection?

Especially if I was expected to pay to be there.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:21, Reply)
I thought online would be easier than face to face? I think you have to have the attitude of "got to be in it to win it" so to speak with the online stuff.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:25, Reply)
You've seen me.
I'm no Cindy Crawford but then again I'm not paper bag material also. I even got Noel to check my profile in case anything stood out as offputting but I got fuck all interest and the few I did get were fucking sex mad.

I got one date and he couldn't wait to leave.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:26, Reply)

No you're not paper bag material. How long did you try online dating for and how many different sites did you try?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:28, Reply)
Three sites for over a year.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:28, Reply)
well theyre wrong
You were pretty hot I thought (though that sounds creepy) you know what I mean.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:34, Reply)
Fanku : )
Applebite and Kitty said something similar and it means a lot coming you and them.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:36, Reply)
She was certainly not the biggest minger at the bash. I will refrain from saying who was.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:37, Reply)
Oh you have to NOW.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:38, Reply)
I am a cunt, but not that much of a cunt
yet
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:39, Reply)
Hehe!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:40, Reply)
Male or female?
Because, at risk of a newspaper-bopping from Gonz, I was the least attractive female there.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:41, Reply)
Pshaw!
Now I'm going to bop you on the bloody head if you go on.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:42, Reply)
Will you caress it better with your tits afterwards?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:43, Reply)
*snigger*
Dirty girl!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:44, Reply)
No you weren't. Blokes don't do it for me so I don't really look at chaps in that way. There was one bloke there who was a cunt though and that was...

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:43, Reply)
...
...
...GO ON!
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:44, Reply)
You've really got us eating out of your hand here.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:44, Reply)
Maybe later when I have had more booze.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:45, Reply)
That's a deliberate untruth and you know it.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:45, Reply)
See below.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:56, Reply)
Sir, sir, I know sir!

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:48, Reply)
Please continue...

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:49, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post928955#post928962
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:54, Reply)
Yep. It was Wormulus. He's a fucking wanker.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:56, Reply)
And you're full of shit, all of the women there were cracking.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:01, Reply)
Fuck off. All I have said is that I won't spill who I think was the least attractive woman (in my opinion based on my tastes) was that night

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:03, Reply)
You do realise that Chompy isn't actually a women?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:04, Reply)
He will be once he's finished shopping at Transformation though

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:08, Reply)
You said you might.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:06, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post948997
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:06, Reply)

Okay. For clarity, my definition of minger regarding those at the bash is who think was the least attractive woman in my opinion based on my tastes. If minger is the wrong word then fine.

Also bear in mind that these judgements are made on personal taste and your taste is probably different to mine.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:10, Reply)
You're amazingly easy to wind up today.
I wasn't even trying.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:12, Reply)
Yes I am.
EDIT: we do agree about Wormulus though.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:13, Reply)
I mean, I literally wasn't trying to bug you.
Everyone's entitled to their opinion :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:26, Reply)
Battered.
That is almost a Bob comment.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:40, Reply)
Careful now.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:42, Reply)
So, what about the 'alternative lifestyle' thing?
Would you not give that another go
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:30, Reply)
Eh?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:31, Reply)
I think he means drinking from the furry cup

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:32, Reply)
Oh! no not going back there.
Sex was ok but I don't think I could have a relationship with another woman.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:33, Reply)
You see, I think I'd quite like a relationship with a woman.
It's the sex I couldn't do.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:34, Reply)
aww :(
I'm worried again now, I fear I may have just been lucky first time round
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:17, Reply)
Don't you worry, I'm just jinxed.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:20, Reply)
I know several people that have had good quality long term relationships as a result so don't give up

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:20, Reply)
I told you I was jinxed.
Actually I might have that on my headstone.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:21, Reply)
I didn't mention that a couple of my gf's single friends use them and they are truly mental.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:23, Reply)
ALL wimmin are mental.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:34, Reply)

you should set up your own site then. I am tempted to suggest some URL's but will resist.

for now
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:18, Reply)
I'm not ready just yet to start internet dating
but I'd consider it if it'd get me dates :(
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:19, Reply)
REBOUND REBOUND REBOUND !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:35, Reply)
You trying to bag yourself a Brit so you can get a visa :)

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:17, Reply)
that would be rather rude, don't you think?
I've pretty much given up on the idea that I will ever have an "other half" anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:24, Reply)
Men are dreadful and bitches be trippin' balls.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:25, Reply)
I don't think all men are, just the men that seem to be interested in me

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:28, Reply)
Have you "tried for the other side"? Might be more of an option

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:31, Reply)
well, to be honest, I like dick
perhaps it's time to get that gastric band and plastic surgery I've been wondering about....
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:35, Reply)
But Richard doesn't like you?
Move on, there will be others.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:36, Reply)
There's certainly plenty of dicks in the states.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:38, Reply)
that's what I'm doing
moving on
just not onto anyone else
sort of stuck in limbo here
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:50, Reply)
Keep your chin up
Things will improve.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:55, Reply)
doubtful
it's been 12 years of watching my friends get involved, get married, have children
and here I am, wouldn't be so bad if I'd had gotten anything from any person I've ever been with
but that's just what they are, not relationships or boyfriends, just people I've been with.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:00, Reply)
This is true for me without fail.
Any man I show an interest in will either like me as a friend or treat me with utter disdain.
Any man who shows an interest me I will find so skincrawlingly horrid I can't bear to be around them.
Men will lie to me over whether or not they like me, but will tell the truth only after I get my hopes up.
Men seem to regret ever having anything to do with me. Unless they're a bit odd and try and add you back on facebook after you spectacularly remove them from my life.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:33, Reply)

men boys
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:34, Reply)
Maybe.
I had more luck with boys (under or around 18) than I ever did with those over that age.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:36, Reply)
ugh see
what's the fucking point
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:47, Reply)
I rid him of his virginity, and what does he do?
Fucker isn't even grateful.

/could apply to 2 people in this instance.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:48, Reply)
do not like
I had devirginised the mouth of one and then he tells me he wants to give me love forever
after one date
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:50, Reply)
O_O
I've introduced several to the heady (lol) world of blowjobs. It's a lot of fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:51, Reply)
oh my hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:53, Reply)
I have a hilarious story
I say hilarious story, it's awful and dark and distrubing and I shouldn't really keep bringing up as it's only me who finds it hilarious.

but yes involving the subject of my post above, lolololol
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:55, Reply)
spill.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:57, Reply)
I will if you do.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:14, Reply)
I have said above who the cunt was; Wormulus, I have decided not to say who I thought who the least attractive woman was
I think I should leave the internet for a while in a bit. Getting tetchy.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:19, Reply)
Sorry for pushing it.
I was curious. Don't leave.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:20, Reply)
I'm tired that's all.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:24, Reply)
That's just creepy.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:53, Reply)
How old are you?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:25, Reply)
old enough

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:28, Reply)
+ to know better, young enough not to care?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:32, Reply)
no, just old enough to know what I'm talking about

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:47, Reply)
You sound really low.
Fingers crossed a good nights sleep sorts you out.

Failing that, use violence against your housemates.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:50, Reply)
not really, just being honest

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:52, Reply)
What, in an ideal world, would be the qualities you'd want from a significant other?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:33, Reply)
what anyone else would want
love, respect, honesty, a working cock
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:49, Reply)
so if you aren't bothered about looks and a sense of humour
I fail to see why you've failed to bag a keeper.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:51, Reply)
gee, maybe because I'm fat and ugly?
lol but really
it's because I'm fat and ugly :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:53, Reply)
All women think they're fat and ugly.
99% of them aren't.

Try being a bloke, not only are most of us ugly, but generally speaking we have the same hairstyle for years and only own a couple of pairs of shoes.

At least ladies can do something different with their hair and make-up, we are largely stuck with how we've been born!

This is why men can grow beards. I may have made that bit up.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:00, Reply)
pfft I'd rather be a bloke

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:05, Reply)
I've always said I should have been a bloke.
I'd be really handsome as a bloke.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:08, Reply)
soft, furry and bitey.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:48, Reply)
Well that's two of the things I'm looking for.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:50, Reply)
you're a furry?!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:52, Reply)
No I was talking about soft and bitey.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:53, Reply)
ah, OK
*puts away furry hunting gun*
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:53, Reply)
Is that a lesbigun?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:02, Reply)
only for lesbian furries
on a yip
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:03, Reply)
Is that because people confuse larpers with furries?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:07, Reply)
it's important to keep them away
it's always suspicious when there are cat girls and werewolves. Although the rumour is that one of my friends is a furry and has a hamster as his 'fursonality'
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:08, Reply)
oh yeah
and there's a story of another who went to a furry convention and got a bit confused when it got all into sex and things.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:09, Reply)
Fursonality?
Does that mean he dresses as a hamster? Or that he keeps one as a pet-with-benefits, Richard Gere stylee?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:25, Reply)
i believe that's what he dresses as
otherwise it's no longer furry and into something far worse.

my friend once described it as "a polite, almost acceptable version of Bestiality"
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:28, Reply)
hahaha!
that is a wonderful tagline.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:33, Reply)
father, son and holy ghost.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:50, Reply)
you think you're God's gift

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 19:52, Reply)
This thread has become a whine rest
Chin up people, less of the I IS A MINGER AND NOONE WILL EVER LUV ME
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:17, Reply)
I AM AWESOME!
I scared some students into working!

why are you awesome?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:21, Reply)
That is cool
I am awesome because I... I don't know

Now I have a INTERNET SADFACE.
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:24, Reply)
not good enough!
you wanted less emo, you must play your part
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:26, Reply)
I did make my son smile earlier
By playing with a stuffed dog and bear. He seemed to like I'd and it was his first non wind smile, that was cool
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:31, Reply)
that's proper awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:34, Reply)
Better than I am not a minger and noone will ever luv me.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:21, Reply)
This to shall pass

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:25, Reply)
ABANDON THREAD!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 20:31, Reply)

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