I don't have country survival skills

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:02, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

can i plug in my GHD's?
if not, i'm out.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:03, Reply)

I wish I had your girl-smarts
I have no idea how to straighten/curl/whatever my hair. I'm not even sure what it's meant to be. Did you attend some kind of girl-skills class?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:10, Reply)

i'm not brilliant with hair
mine is just below collar bone length, and i can cope with (i) straighteners; (ii) curlers; (iii) paying a hairdresser. 9/10 i resort to (iii). but make-up i love, i do all my friends' make-up for weddings etc.

i hardly wear it during the week though, i don't think it's that good for your skin/wrinkles.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:13, Reply)

these things are all beyond me
I have a hair brush and a spare hairbrush for when it goes missing. I can only do make up because I asked some dude on a counter at boots
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:15, Reply)

i keep meaning to do a hair blowdrying course
it would save me about 80quid a week!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:16, Reply)

hair
drying job
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:17, Reply)

i reckon she'd make more than £80

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:19, Reply)

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft
i wrote the book on that one, sunshine
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:19, Reply)

You see, you like to boast a lot about how good you are at blowjobs
but I'm yet to see any evidence.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:21, Reply)

the evidence is swallowed usually

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:21, Reply)

i can't improve on this answer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:23, Reply)

I quite liked it myself
I'm obviously on some sort of slightly sick roll
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:25, Reply)

Or on her little black dress

(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:23, Reply)

I really doubt
that she would let anyone come on her little black dress. They're far too expensive for that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:24, Reply)

one of the last ones
came all over my little black skirt. i had to throw it away, nothing removes that kind of shameful stain.

he was totally not worth the skirt either!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:29, Reply)

I'm not being funny
but as a young teenager, I would wank into any handy bit of clothing that needed washing, and I never found the stains sticking around
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:31, Reply)

that is a truly horrifying image
but if it's black, nothing gets spunk out. believe me. i am a designer skirt worse off!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:33, Reply)

You must have met someone with highly concentrated spunk

(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:35, Reply)

tbh
i was whinging about it to my friend at work, and she said the exact same thing - "nothing gets spunk out".

stupid sperm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:39, Reply)

your clothes probably
weren't dry clean only
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:34, Reply)

Firstly, this ^
Secondly, that's a horrific amount of money a week.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:19, Reply)

it's two trips a week at 40 a trip
not sure if that makes it seem better or worse
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:22, Reply)

Much worse

(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:23, Reply)

how so?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:24, Reply)

Well, you bother to get your hair dried by someone twice a week

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:26, Reply)

well, yes
i have a lot of work functions for which i need to look super smart!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:27, Reply)

You're an intelligent person, clearly
and yet despite watching someone blow drying your hair twice a week you haven't worked out how to do it yourself.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:30, Reply)

To be fair
there is a knack to it. I blowdry my hair but when a professional does it the difference is clearly noticeable
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:31, Reply)

Yes, the difference is that you are lighter in the wallet
to the tune of two nights in the pub.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:32, Reply)

I don't have that kind of money
and even if I did I wouldn't pay that.

I'm saying though that the difference is clear.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:33, Reply)

the salons around my office
are all the same price, clearly they have co-ordinated
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:35, Reply)

don't make me get all technical
let's just say it's much harder to do it on yourself. and they give you a nice head massage and everything!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:32, Reply)

The head massage is hugely important

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:33, Reply)

correct

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:35, Reply)

You seem back to your usual self

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:36, Reply)

bit shaky and dizzy still
but i managed to eat some plain rice and have not been sick, so i am on the mend!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:38, Reply)

*gets down on knees and thanks God*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:39, Reply)

Worse if anything

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:24, Reply)

doesn't hair just get dryer?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:18, Reply)

no
a decent blowdry is better for it than straightening it. stupid curls!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:19, Reply)

I should probably never be at a bash where you are
not that I wouldn't want to meet you, but I think comparatively I'd look like a tramp. I dry my hair by sleeping on it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:25, Reply)

don't be daft!
i just need all the help i can get, is all.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:26, Reply)

i wear clothes I buy in supermarkets
and the last time I had my haircut was a year and a half ago (before that 7 years)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:28, Reply)

I own a lot of supermarket clothes
I feel a bit bad, because I'm sure they're ethically dubious
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:29, Reply)

well stop buying them, then!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:30, Reply)

To be honest
they are probably no worse than M&S or Next and almost certainly no worse than Gap, which are the other shops I buy most of my clothes from.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:33, Reply)

yeah, but I hate shopping
and have no idea, so I usually buy them when I'm really short of trouser or something and it's getting embarrassing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:30, Reply)

just do what I do
make a list of what you want then spend a bit of time on the net looking for it on ebay and a standard few sites. It's handy to check sizes in the stores and know what sort of size you need- for example in GAP I wear a medium if it's any sort of top, but won't fit any of the dresses because they're tinily cut on top. Same for French Connection- size 12 or medium is fine, except for their fitted shirts where I'd get a 14. Once you know the sizes just shop on their online stores
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:40, Reply)

This is far to well though out.
My system usually goes:

1) See
2) Buy
3) Regret
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:42, Reply)

I never have any idea what suits me
I'm a fatty, so most trendy things look ridiculous and so pale that many colours make me look sick.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:42, Reply)

You didn't look fat
in the picture of you I saw :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:43, Reply)

man, I forgot I posted a picture once, but thanks
I'm a size 18, that's fat enough to look stupid in most clothes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:46, Reply)

Size 18? Really?
You looked very waif like in that purple dress you were wearing.

Unless of course I'm confusing you with someone else. You're the LARP love aren't you?
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:49, Reply)

I'm the larper
and i think the only picture I've posted is the one in my wedding frock (kinda dark red?)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:50, Reply)

Depends how tall you are.

( girlinthehole, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:50, Reply)

5ft 5 or so

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:51, Reply)

You barely have city survival skills by the sound of it

(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:04, Reply)

In what sense?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:06, Reply)

The puddle incident from earlier?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:07, Reply)

Thats the one

(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:09, Reply)

I fall over quite a lot
I don't think it's lack of city skills
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:11, Reply)

I'd love to take a city person to the countryside
And just watch them have a breakdown due to the lack of Starbucks.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:12, Reply)

Thing is, I love living in a city
and wouldn't want to live out in the sticks. But if you dumped me in the middle of nowhere, I've got mad survival SkillZ.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:13, Reply)

where am I going to get my blueberry cheesecake!?

( djtrialprice, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:14, Reply)

I'd bring you some

(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:15, Reply)

blueberry? ban this sick filth

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:18, Reply)

We often do this thing where you buy food in advance
And eat it throughout the week. I don't know how you city boys cope.

I may have been at uni in a city for the last 5 years.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:18, Reply)

I has a freezer full of meat as I went to the Butchers today

(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:19, Reply)

Awesome
One day at the butchers, I found myself just staring at trays of freshly prepared stir fries. I think I have a problem.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:20, Reply)

i would agree with your self-diagnosis

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:21, Reply)

but how do you know
what you will be doing every night for a week in advance or what you will feel like eating 6 nights in advance, where's your spontaneity?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:20, Reply)

Food keeps or freezes

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:21, Reply)

or goes in the bin, in my disorganised case

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:21, Reply)

You are the reason that global food prices are going up

(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:24, Reply)

I could start an environmental rant
But I don't care all that much at this time of night.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:24, Reply)

yeah, noone would listen
talk about sex instead
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:26, Reply)

Ok
Rachelswipe wastes bread by inserting it into her lady regions.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:27, Reply)

how can that be considered a waste?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:28, Reply)

It's a fucking disgrace
There are french children starving because of the number of baguettes she gets through.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:28, Reply)

That's how the chic French figure is maintained
she's doing them a favour
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:29, Reply)

yeah, enforced atkins for all

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:31, Reply)

the crumbs must be uncomfortable

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:29, Reply)

frottage

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:30, Reply)

pff!
that's also a technique used in textiles. I sniggered every time the lecturer said it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:34, Reply)

They're like croutons
For gentlemen callers to enjoy.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:33, Reply)

To mop up the gravy

(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:34, Reply)

i can't decide which of these is funniest
but I have had nearly 2 drinks
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:37, Reply)

I've already told you
lemon is better
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:19, Reply)

I agree with this

(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:20, Reply)

yes, lemon
best of all the cheesecakes. although bodeans does some awesome flavours.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:20, Reply)

lemon-snaps
though I did have a really nice brandy cheesecake once
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:22, Reply)

toffee chesecake, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:26, Reply)

+ pecans

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:27, Reply)

yes
want
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:29, Reply)

It's all about been there, done that and now for some piece and quiet.

( girlinthehole, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:06, Reply)

Like so many things in life

(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:09, Reply)

*high fives*

( girlinthehole, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:11, Reply)

*low fives*

*chest bumps*
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:13, Reply)

If you chest bumped anyone they'd end up in the next county

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:18, Reply)

If I chest bumped you I'd take the opportunity to squeeze your tits as they're rather nice.
How was Gonz' mixed game extravaganza?
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:20, Reply)

we had pork
The game will be for another day!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:31, Reply)

And if he ass bumped them
well there's no telling really.
( djtrialprice, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:29, Reply)

*sadfaces*
*sadfaces hard*
(Bazongaloid, Sat 6 Nov 2010, 23:33, Reply)