We found out we are having another girl which has made me very happy
But I have an interview including a 10 minute presentation which has made me nervous.

What do you do to prepare yourself for an interview?

Alt Q. I have made two girls with my cock, what have you made with your sexual organs?
( Peej, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:15, 80 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

awww congrats mate! that's lovely.
when's she due?
I have an interview on thursday for a major scholarship. I'm really nervous. No idea what to say. I think the best thing to do though is to just try to keep calm - they wouldn't be interviewing you if they didn't consider you a good candidate.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:18, Reply)

March 18th
I should have eaten breakfast, my stomach is churning. I think everyone who applied is being interviewed. Its an internal position.
( Peej, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:20, Reply)

did I know that you were having another sprog?
congratulations anyway.

I remind myself that the interview is not the end of the world, that I know what I'm talking about and that I can do it confidently. Telling myself this almost makes it true.

I have made your mum very happy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:18, Reply)

My mum says that the earth didn't exactly move for her mate sorry.
Yup I am going to be living in a house with three women, I don't expect to live much past 45.
( Peej, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:20, Reply)

she wouldn't give the sordid details to her son now would she?
probably for the best that you don't live that long.

I pity my almost-father-in-law. One wife, three daughters. Poor bastard.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I suit up and have some calming tea
Alt: I make women bleed
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Congratulations
Alt: a mess
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Congratulations!
I'm very glad with you. And I hopw I'll soon start making babies with my sexual organs.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I have made art, my friend.
ART.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:23, Reply)

+F
this is extra bonus funny because farts come from the bum and the bum is only a sexual organ if you like it up the bum, which he totally does.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:25, Reply)

for once
your explanation actually made it funnier
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Bonus points for repeated use of "bum".

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Excellent, Good luck with both.
I make a tent some mornings.
(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Very little recently other than trouble...

(berk, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Sew it up, then.
FOREVER.

Saw the costume on FB- impressive!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Cheers!
Not as ingenious (fnar fnar) as yours but I did manage to scare the crap out of a couple of people.
(berk, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Oh that was bad.
The hallowe'en costume was a bit of a joke- I was apparently "cock-blocking" my friend (I was giving him girl advice when the girl in question came over...eep) so according to my flatmate I "floated" downstairs. When told to walk faster I said "I can't, my legs are gin".

I had had half a litre, and I get pretty tipsy after 3 doubles.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I personally look forward to hearing more of your sexapades
If only cus it allowed me to make up that word.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I'm keeping my knickers on for the time being.
Until I find someone I really like who likes me as well.

unless you were talking to berk, which would make much more sense.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:40, Reply)

*salutes*
Doing your part for the war effort
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Don't mind really, just wanted to use that word.
=)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I don't think I've ever had 'sexcapades' in my life!
*whistles innocently*
(berk, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I shave off my eyebrows
and write satanic messages in mirror-writing on my forehead. I suggest you do the same.

Alt: a lot of women very happy
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Right, done. What now?

( Peej, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I find excrement daubed on the cheeks suggests a 'can-do' attitude.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:31, Reply)

"can-do" rimming

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Wearing a full face balaclava, hopping and muttering passages of the bible to yourself is always a winner.

(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:34, Reply)

If you're stroking a disturbingly stained photo of Jill Dando
at the same time, this usually goes down well with one's prospective employer, too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Unless its a job at the BBC

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Ha!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Well, in that case substitute Fiona Bruce

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Good eye contact is important too.
Make sure your face is never more than six inches from the interviewer's, and don't blink.
(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I think we should start an interview coaching company.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:50, Reply)

A bit like this?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:52, Reply)

that is amazing

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:55, Reply)

d'you get wafers with it?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Nah, I've only got the albatross...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:57, Reply)

You're not even a proper WOMAN.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Give me time...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:11, Reply)

women benders
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Congratulations on forming another one of the better kind of babby.
I'm the second of two girls, it's great. Hope everything goes smoothly.

I've only had one interview that mattered, so I read, and had mock interviews, and everyone thought I was going to be ok. Then I was Patient 0 of JeffAIDS and lost my voice, sense of smell, and ability to concentrate. Not so great for an academic interview :/

Alt: I've made men scream. In fear.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:26, Reply)

My only tip is to chill out
Make sure you have loads of time before the interview and go for a wander or something, just so you aren't worrying about it all.

Alt:
1 x girl, 1 x boy. I spunk on demand
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I find that stressing
If I go there with just 5min, then it's good, as I have no time to worry about it. If I have half an hour, I just want it to pass as soon as possible and can't stop thinking of all the crap I could be saying.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I'm going for a walk now. I have an hour :)

( Peej, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Blimey pregnancies these days pass far quicker than when I was young.

(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Don't worry. Be confident. If they didn't think you were good enough, they wouldn't have brought you in for interview.
They are looking for reasons to hire you, rather than reasons not to.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Unless they have 3 good candidates
and just fancied a laugh....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Well, true... and I've got to admit, I still dine out on some of my "really crap candidate" stories.
But I was trying to be positive, and not tell him that the interviewer will know within 10secs whether or not to employ him.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I just wandered round the shops for a while
Looked at buying some music, got some sweets, shit like that. I was chilled as a Hindu cow when I got to the interview
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Well done broseph
Alt q: ruined several pairs of underpants.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:34, Reply)

The most important thing to remember
is that, however much they grill you in the interview, whatever ghastly questions they might throw at you, they can't harm you, or your family,the worst thing they can do is not give you the job.

Still, good luck in any case, and congratulations on your continued fertility.

Alt Q: An origami crane.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:35, Reply)

They can't hurt him
but they can destroy him emotionally leaving him a hollow shell of his former self.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Whatever doesn't kill the man will make him stronger
Amputation of his limbs excepted. But I think interviewers are discouraged from doing that sort of thing.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I've always thought that saying was a right load of old bollocks

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Congrats matey.
Have a beer??

Alt Q: 3 Girls and 1 Boy (who I hope are listening to the sex education they get or I'll be a granddad before I'm bloody 40!)
(Kip, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Congratulations
Alt: I've made the front page of the local paper.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Eveningpost?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Yeah.
But thankfully I was balaclava'd to the max so only the DNA stains will see me nicked!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Congratulations!
I prepare myself for interview by knowing everything there is to know and then winging it.

Alt: one girl, a bunch of tumours, a couple of haemorrhages, and many men very happy.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:41, Reply)

alt q: a hat, a broach and a pterodactyl

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:42, Reply)

The fog's getting thicker
AND LEON'S GETTING LAAAARGER
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I picked a hell of a time to stop sniffing glue

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Alt Q:. I have made a shadow puppet of a menhir.
with the aid of my bedside light.

I prepare myself for interviews by having at least 6 shits. Damned IBS.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Obligatory bert answer:
The sex offenders register.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Wahey!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Sick burn.
rn m
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:47, Reply)

ooh congratulations
to prepare for an interview: print off everything i can find about the company and the interviewer and read it at the hairdresser before going in. sleek smart hair is very important.

sexual organs: a lot of money for ann summers and marks &spencers and a well-toned silken but vice-like grip.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Moar girls in the world FTW!
I've made it redundant.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Today?
You're joking?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:13, Reply)

What?

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:14, Reply)

You've been made redundant?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Nah! you noggin.
I've made my sex organs redundant.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Sorry.
I'll just go back to sleep. It'll be easier.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:16, Reply)

With all those years of sevice behind it,
It will get a smashing payout.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:15, Reply)

There were long periods of unemployment.

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I just can't believe there is no demand for it.
This receission is really biting hard.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:21, Reply)

It's about the only thing that's biting hard : (

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Oh now, you could at least make it sound better for the poor thing.
Call it early retirement.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:16, Reply)

It could be a whole new start. Perhaps it could do some charity work.

(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Like working with children?
Or animals?
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:19, Reply)