That thread is a little too large.
When I was younger I used to have curly, and if I may say so now, beautiful hair. I hated it and wanted nothing more to have straight hair. Now I've chemically raped my hair so much it's gone pretty much straight, and it's shit.

What did you really want; only to get it and hate it?

Alt: What item would make your life about 20 times better than it is now? Real or imaginary. I don't care.
EDIT: Oh my god you're all so money-driven. Let's make this more interesting. ASIDE from finacial gain, we all know that would improve all our sordid lives.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:35, 102 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

A long list of men
that were only crap...

I'm happy as I am, I just wish I'd have more holidays, so I suppose, my answer to Alt is LOADS OF MONEY!!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:40, Reply)

So your Alt is...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Shut your mouth and look at my WAD!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:46, Reply)

No
I'll be wise and boring and make sure it'll last for my whole life.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:51, Reply)

To answer on behalf of millions
A Wii.

When I was younger, I also wanted to not have the physique of a 5 year old girl, but when I started to bulk up, so did my stomach. So while I now have broad shoulders, I've also got a massive fookin belly.

Alt Q: A body that would drive the women wild.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I like my Wii
It's good fun. I just don't have enough time to play it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I know about 20 people who bought them
2 crack them out when we're pissed, one of them plays it on his own, none of the others are used at all.

They were a novelty item, I think.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I still have parties at home with it
or take games to other people houses. We all love the Rayman's rabbits games, and the karaoke. To play on my own, Zelda was great.

I just don't have the time for anything at all anymore.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I hardly used mine at all, but now I know you can pirate the games, it seems like an alright thing.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:37, Reply)

I'd like a canal barge.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:40, Reply)

That would be pretty awesome.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I that so you can dismiss ugly women with the pole that would come with the barge?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I read that as Carnal Barge
And wondered what the hell it was...

Although it sounded awesome
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I read it as "Anal Badge" and I...oh I can't lie
I didn't read it as "anal badge" at all.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Coincidentally
That's Lampito's best seller.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I fucking love that badge. It lives in my purse,
so I never lose sight of what is dear to me. Jewgold and anal.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:48, Reply)

She also earnt it when she was a Brownie
Possibly
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I was a Brownie, trufax.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Don't they give you Colonics in advance to avoid this?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I read it as "Cranial Bridge", that one's not a lie.
I thought it was some sort of phsycic power thing
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I've already got one of them.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:46, Reply)

It's a slightly more nautical verision of The Van of Sexual Urgency.

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Pfft - You don't even own a canal.

(Cave Duck, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I'll tell you what I want, what I reallly really want.
I wanna I wanna I wanna I really really want to 'zig-a-zig ha!'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I'd like some robot lungs.
I'd settle for being a T1000.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Guinness
Since I was a kid I wanted to try some (spurred on by their awesome adverts), but my parents don't drink the stuff. It looked so tasty and creamy, but when I eventually was able to try some I soon realised it's horrid stuff.

Alt: A winning lottery ticket for 2 million quid would be lovely.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:41, Reply)

That's a little scary, we both talked about food/drink items and a winning lottery ticket...

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:42, Reply)

The lottery ticket is a bit of a cop out
It's like being granted a wish, and wishing for 3 more wishes.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:44, Reply)

The new chocolate caramel cookies from McVities, they are vile compared to the fruit and nut ones
Alt: A winning lottery ticket :P
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:41, Reply)

your mum

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:42, Reply)

i'd also like straight hair
which is why i am thinking of spunking £300 on the brazilian blow-dry.

materially, i am off shopping shortly with my friend, so if there is anything i fancy, it will be mine within a couple of hours. high five for instant gratification.

on a more less material level, erm... being at home up in cheshire always makes me feel like selling my flat and buying a nice detached house back up here with a garden and filling it with dogs and a really nice boyfriend to spoil who will do things like getting rid of spiders and cooking and cuddling/boning me senseless in front of the fireplace. this won't last past the m40 when i drive home later, mind.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Surely after a brazilian you can just use a towel?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:46, Reply)

no, you still need to use a big round roller brush or a paddle brush
and a hairdryer on a very high heat, possibly also some straighteners...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:48, Reply)

On your MINGE?!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:50, Reply)

no no no no
the brazilian blow-dry is a conditioning treatment for the hair on your head! it lasts about 6 months. yes, that is its real name, no i am not making it up.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Oh, what does it do?
If it lasts for 6 months that's almost cost effective.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:51, Reply)

if you have shorter or finer hair than me
it wouldn't be that much, it starts at about £100. it's like a permanent conditioner, made of keratin - which is what hair/nails are made of, i believe - and they treat your hair with it. leaves it very smooth and manageable, apparently.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I had my hair done a few days ago
The clownhair raped my hair, and while on the outside it's soft and shiny it's lost its elasticity. Apparently I don't need moisture, I need proteins. Or something.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:56, Reply)

well, that's exactly what the keratin is!
google the brazilian blow-dry, see what you think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I had a look
But I don't want straight hair :( The girl washing my hair didn't ask if I wanted a treatment, I did actually want one for once. Urgh. Proles.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:04, Reply)

i don't think it makes it straight
just less frizzy. or that's what i was told by the girl who was trying to flog it to me, anyway. mine is quite curly when left to itself, i don't want that to change to half-wavy and a bit messy!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Hmm. If so...
I'm just going to keep conditioning and maybe buy some expensive hair products a la Swipe.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:08, Reply)

they do make a difference
but it's the water that is the real killer. my hair is like silk up here compared to when i wash it in london!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Invest in a RO unit or something then

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:12, Reply)

an RO unit? that would be.... a water softener?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:19, Reply)

No, it would be a Reverse Osmosis unit
Removes all impurities from the water, not just calcium.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:20, Reply)

is that a bit excessive for hair-washing?
how much do these things cost?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Says woman who only drinks Evian

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:23, Reply)

that is woefully inaccurate
i also drink vodka, champagne, a decent white (pref chablis or sancerre), diet coke...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:25, Reply)

About 60 quid for a 50gallon/day filter

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:24, Reply)

how many gallons of water in a 20 min shower?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:28, Reply)

About 35 on average

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:34, Reply)

so i'd be looking at about £40 a shower
marvellous!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:34, Reply)

No, the unit produces a maximum of 50 gallons a day
And you replace the membranes when they get worn out after several months, costs around £30 to replace
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Which bit of London are you (NSEW I mean)
I've been SE for a year and a half, I've found it just makes it quite frizzy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:13, Reply)

i'm on high st ken
so west london. i lived on stamford street when i was at uni, that was when i first noticed how much my hair is allergic to london!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Were you at Kings?!
GDSA Massive here.

that's the sister halls at Great Dover Street if you were at Kings
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:26, Reply)

i was indeed
we were the first year at stamford street when it opened, GDS hadn't been built then.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Oh wow, no GDS?
I loved it there. Apart from the stabbing victim 20m away from our front door. Some drunk students would always kick the memorial...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:29, Reply)

welcome to student life in london
where you have no money and your friends all live a minimum of 45 mins away and you listen to all your schoolfriends who went to nottingham or bristol and all live really near their mates, and you think fuck. but you still wouldn't swop!

when i was at SS there was no 3D IMAX cinema, it was just an underground circle where all the homeless people congregated. so they put a hall of rich, spoiled students next door to it. 137 muggings in the first week...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Buy a "holiday home" in Cheshire
Oh god that made me laugh just saying it
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:46, Reply)

like abersoch, you mean?
wilmslow-by-the-water? shudder!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Buy something overlooking Sale Water Park.
Or something on the Bollin.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:49, Reply)

my dad's house overlooks the bollin

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Well, I'm in Cheshire, and don't mind getting rid of Spiders...
Oh fuck it, I'll just beat this lot to it -

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:49, Reply)

you didn't mention the all-night boning though
sorry, your application is rejected.

NEXT.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I was interrupting myself with the Pandatron

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:52, Reply)

A brazillian blow dry sounds quite rude.
Like a blowie that is so powerful that it leaves you hairless and, erm, dry.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:33, Reply)

But yeah', totally up for being spoilt rotten and all that other stuff.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I cannot really think of an example.
The things I have hankered after have generally been much appreciated when I finally got them. If you buy me an SS ceremonial sword, I’ll let you know if I find it a disappointment, how about that?

I'd like to be a stay-at-home educator to my daughter, and for her mother to stop being so awkward (although she is on the whole improving).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:49, Reply)

There should be an Iron Cross ceremonial sword in our family
but it's now at the bottom of the Rhine due to those pesky Nazis.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:50, Reply)

It's good to hear that she's improving on the hole

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:51, Reply)

There's a real Iron Cross
from WW1 in the family. Will that do?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:52, Reply)

HIGHFIVE SIMILAR HERITAGE

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:53, Reply)

YEAH
HIGHFIVE FREE TRIPS TO ISRAEL
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:59, Reply)

LET'S KICK SOME KIBBUTZ

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:01, Reply)

YEAAAAAAAAAAAH
www.ujia.org/israel-experience/programmes-over-18/959/birthright-israel/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I quite seriously want to go on that.
I still can't believe they do that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:06, Reply)

do you get to reinact the murder of Jesus

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:13, Reply)

EXECUTION, I think you'll find.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I emailed the dude today
:D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Aww, we wouldn't be able to go on the same ones, you being a "young professional"
I'll bear it in mind for maybe next year. Or the year after.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:16, Reply)

As a stop-gap til I get the 'big one' that would be much appreciated.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I have some nazi coins wot my grandfather nicked off a dead kraut
He told me that he was worried he couldn't kill a German, but he enevitably did (on a trip to the Rhine Valley in 1971)

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I have some of those
and some Nazi notes, from my grandfather.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:00, Reply)

All in his own writing?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I have a few of those
too.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:03, Reply)

They are worth hundreds of pence

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:04, Reply)

That is pretty sweet
as an object. Not sure I'd want the association in my house, though.
( Kroney, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:04, Reply)

*Imagines the school of Monty*
'Right love, if I take standard drugs and regular drugs and add them together, what have we got?'

Little Miss Monty thinks for a moment, then shouts out...

'MASSIVE DRUGS Daddy!'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:56, Reply)

For ages
I wanted an Alfa Romeo GTV. Very pretty cars. I got in one the other weekend and my head was pressed hard enough against the roof to compress my spine.

Very disappointing.
( Kroney, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I can't be the only one who wants everything different and then when it is different hating it. The grass is always greener, but then I realise it isn't once I'm there. I hate myself for it.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Just for the record
I hated my curly hair growing up, now I love it.

Awesome.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:23, Reply)

yeah but you're a man (or you were before all the bike-riding)
you can shave your head if it annoys you, or grow it wild and free if you fancy it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:24, Reply)

It's being mo'hawked
at the weekend.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:31, Reply)

cool!
where?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:32, Reply)

On my head?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:34, Reply)

foolish boy!
i meant, are you doing it, or is a barber doing it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Same here

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:35, Reply)

It depends what type it is though.
My mate's curly hair just looks like carpet.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:39, Reply)

A boyfriend.
Alt q: A boyfriend.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 12:46, Reply)