noel
help, is noel around or can anyone gaz me with his phone number?? i have a courier outside his office trying to deliver a package and they can't find him!

thanks all...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:41, 44 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

done.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Wow.
Off Topic used for a 'real' purpose and with no mention to lunch, bumders or Nazis.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Shut up, you Nazi bumder.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:50, Reply)

+ before I eat you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Nombielolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Not a nombie in sight, either.
EDIT oh look, there's one ^
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:51, Reply)

So what you having for lunch Monty?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:52, Reply)

'Braaaaaiiins'
*sigh*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:52, Reply)

What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaaiiiins
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I didn't know there were such things as vegi zombies.
Obtaaaaiiiiinnns.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:58, Reply)

While I remember, Monty old bean,
are you better disposed towards Kate & Wills now that it's come out that they're having a tribute wedding on the 66th anniversary of Adolf and Eva's nuptuals?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:53, Reply)

German ancestry royal in nazi wedding shocker!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Stop copying me before I post.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:59, Reply)

That I did not know.
Nice to see a nod to the home country. Very apt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Blimey, you're right.
I wonder if the Daily Mail should be told?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I'm assuming they won't have the same honeymoon?
namely a ditch full of burning diesel in Berlin
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:07, Reply)

We can only hope.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Better watch what you say about the royals on the intersplutt, they have powers...
POLITICAL POWERS
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:09, Reply)

We get a day off for it though
As I hoped, and despite Chompy claiming we wouldn't.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:10, Reply)

OMG CHOCOLATE!
Thank you!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:54, Reply)

i see he found you then!
but was it still in one piece?? the whole point of those hotel chocolat slabs is the size of the one enormous piece!

if he broke it, i WILL have him fired.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:00, Reply)

It's in nine pieces
but it's still delicious. Thanks!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:02, Reply)

are you serious??
he broke my "fragile" packet into NINE PIECES?

or did you do that...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Wait 'til you see what he does with his own fragile "packet"...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Not everyone is like you.

( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:08, Reply)

And that, my dear, is why the world is in the sorry state it is today.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Someone other than me.
Your envelope was marked FRAGILE but the big thick plastic courier envelope didn't. Never mind, it just means I don't have to smash it up to chow it down *chows it down*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Buddy the Elf, what's your favourite colour?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Er
Where the fuck is my chocolate?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:09, Reply)

OMNOMNOMNOMNOM

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I don't even own an chocolate

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:12, Reply)

send me a present in the post like noel did
and then i will return it with chocolate when i have watched it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I would send you a present in the post
but Royal Mail says it's too long and heavy??
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Rant.
Apparently VAT is going up again soon - so sayeth the message I just received from my mobile network. Apparently this means the cost of sending a text message is going to rise by 10%. Funny, I didn't see the fucking things getting any cheaper when VAT went down. And is a 10% increase in the cost of this service really in proportion with what will likely only be a couple of % increase in VAT? Any excuse to milk your customers a little more, eh? Cunts.
/Rant
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:21, Reply)

You pay for text for messages?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Not quite, but I do pay to send missives comprised of text.
Being a tight-fisted old scrote, I am the sort to stick with a pay-as-you-go set up and make £10 worth of credit last as long as I damn well can.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Fair enough
But some of the contract deals are really competative and included unlimited text/Internet for not a huge amount every month.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Yeah, I looked into a few of them.
But when my average expenditure probably varies between £10-20 a month, the contracts really would have to work at it to sway me. I guess the replacement phone would be the only incentive, but then I really can't be doing with these flashy modern ones.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:30, Reply)

£10 a month gets me 12,000 text messages on PAYG and my £10 left over to make calls with.
although they still charge me for messaging Barry from the Gay Exchange.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Twelve thousand texts?
That would last me more than one lifetime.
(Cave Duck, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:40, Reply)

The country's broke and we have royal weddings to pay for
i'm sure HMRC know what they're doing
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:25, Reply)

actually, they most certainly do.
sadly, the chancellor and the government doesn't have a fucking clue.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:26, Reply)

This would be the same HMRC that ultimately answers to George Osborne?
It's not the VAT rise I mind so much as the fact that my network seems to think a 10% rise in the cost of its service is justifiable the minute VAT rises.

(Though I will start to seriously question the VAT rise if the Royal Fucking Wedding looks in the slightest bit extravagant.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:28, Reply)

George "The Irish have a lot to teach us about running an economy" Osborne

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 13:11, Reply)