Best advice I was ever given
Was by a crazy old man who I used to work with when I loaded lorries as a part-time job.

He said "If you're already late, don't bother rushing."

He was so right, I'd rather turn up cool, calm and collected and a bit later, than be flustered, sweating and paniced.

I overslept this morning, which reminded me of this.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 9:52, 139 replies)

But
if I've arranged to meet someone at a particular time and place and they're late, I'd much rather see they've at least tried to make the effort to get there by being a bit dishevelled. Full on sweaty and flustered is a bit much though.

There's got to be some in between somewhere.

How was Radiohead Kaol?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 9:54, closed)

This is especially true when driving
Driving in a rush is never a good idea.
Except when you're street-racing a BMW - gotta show those cocks who has the better motor!
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 9:55, closed)

Radiohead was fantastic!
Had some cider, lots of singing and some dancing too.

Plus I went with a friend I'd not seen in about a year, so was great to catch up with him.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 9:57, closed)

Excellent.
I now set all my clocks 10 minutes fast so I'm not late as I'm useless at being on time otherwise.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 9:59, closed)

Doffs hat at Ancrenne
Yeah it works for me as I will without fail forget what time it really is and then hurry a bit - without the sweating and flustering - so end up getting to places early or on time.

Have to admit the last two months have been lovely though not wearing a watch or needing to look at a clock. I miss that a bit
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:04, closed)

It's a good plan
I do hate people being late though. I think it's something in-built.

I always seem to be muchly early or on time for stuff.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:04, closed)

Ningles all!
How is everybody?

EDIT I used to be early, for everything, all the time, but then I got old and lazy.

@becky I did the whole set your clocks forward thing, it just made me relax more as I knew I had ten minutes to spare!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:04, closed)

My watch is unreliable
But I tend to leave with plenty of time to get most places.

I was late meeting ancrenne from Waterloo on Thursday...
And I did fast walk/jog there from Russel Square.
Then turned up flustered.
And hot.
So I had to get some cold drinks.
Which were cider.
And you all know the rest...

EDIT: I was also late meeting Clendrix yesterday, but that was due to a "person under a train", so nothing I could do about that.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:08, closed)

@Kaol
I really do.

*cries*

/is feeling much better about being violated now.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:09, closed)

It wasn't violation
It was affection.
You might wanna get a few tests run at the hospital though...
It's not lupus.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:11, closed)

*receives letter from the doctor*


IT'S THE BAD AIDs.

*continues having unprotected sex with goats*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:12, closed)

TOP TIP
If you don't want to be late, never use the Jubilee Line.

Or the Central Line.

In fact, you should probably rule out the underground altogether.

Moooooorniiing! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:13, closed)

I hate being late
I always come early.

What?

But seriously, you know when you're driving and you hear on the radio when you're half way there that it's starting to snow where you're going and to 'allow extra time for your journey'? Well, fine, but if you're already en route, it's a bit late.

And I also think that Micra drivers should allow a little less time for their journeys so they have to go a bit faster than 35mph every-sodding-where!

Edit - Morning all. How rude of me to forget that.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:14, closed)

Ahh, but if you have the attention spanof a goldfish like I do
then you're fine and wont remember which clocks say the right time and which say the altered time.

Hi PoD how was Ireland?

Edit: Hi DiT and K2k6
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:17, closed)

@ancrenne
If I die, Billy and Nanny are coming with me!

*bums the goats in one last selfish act of anti-heroism*

GAH!

*comes*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:18, closed)

Nasty boy Bert
Wont someone please think of the goats(e)?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:20, closed)

(Belgaer is, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:24, closed)

ArghIjustthoughtofGoatse!
Thanks Becks. :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:25, closed)

@ancrenne
My sexface is a most unpleasant sight to behold, I apologise profusely for imposing it upon you. :)

There's a petting Zoo just down the road from me, help yourself, the AIDs-free Goats are the ones without my big hand-prints on their Goat hips.

@becky I am thinking of the goats, the lovely, lovely four-legged sexy beasts.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:25, closed)

Poor things
but you loves it ,)

I'm off for a shower

Edit anyone who hasn't signed up for independance day bashness sign up now.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:28, closed)

*thinks about becky in the shower*

*raises eyebrow*

*that's not all that rises*

@ancrenne you should consider yourself to be very privileged, not many people have ever seen my sex face.
Mostly because it's dark, very brief, and I'm gone before they realise what just happened.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:30, closed)

@Becky
Will you be wanting a pay cheque for the PR? :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:31, closed)

NING!
Apologies for shouting, but I am celebrating the fact that I met Kaol yesterday and am still ALIVE!

There were no knives on display so that was a relief. However, there was no red vomit either, so v disappointed about that.

Here's to next time!
( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:33, closed)

Morning folks
How be you fine folks?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:34, closed)

*struts in*
HEllo everyone!

*hands round sticky buns*

How are we all today?

*tries to look unimportant as if had not written blistering b3tafiction last night*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:37, closed)

Morning HLT
Go on then - there's been much speculation about the policeman story.

I've been lying awake all night wondering about it.

_{Not actually true}
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:41, closed)

Oooh buns!
Hiya smiley, what's that about b3tafiction?

EDIT OH! The policeman story! I was going to write you some absolute filth for that.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:41, closed)

I was going to write down the story of
why you shouldn't poke your tongue out at a policeman, as I advised yesterday.

But it turned into a sweeping drama with a cast of many. Including you.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:42, closed)

...me?

I've got to see it now, post it immediately.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:43, closed)

@ancrenne
And happy Wednesday to you.
Discovered that anti-biotics have naughty-stomach side-effects. Not good.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:44, closed)

Scene one is imminent, people
*goes away to muck about uploading it*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:44, closed)

Yep, it's true
Clendrix has seen me at my most naked.
Without a knife.
Not even a little one.
At all.

I did have a wickedly sharp pencil, which I think I could kill two people with before it snaps beyond use.

But... Yeah...
For the record, Clendrix is lovely, and you'll all like meeting her!
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:44, closed)

@tulip
I can't wait, and I've just noticed your sig. You don't do the things becky does with marmalade do you?

@Kaol you are SUCH a man-slag, you sure get around a bit, don't you?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:45, closed)

@ancrenne, becky
What a surprise, Ireland is wet.

It has rained really quite a lot since we arrived. Quite a lot indeed, actually.

So far we have played at one wedding. It went well, although not a huge amount of people got up and danced, which was a bit of a shame. I also got to use a masssssssssssive bass amp, which shook things quite a lot.

And I have ruined my left shoulder, and can't really turn my head. Or raise my left arm. Rubbish.

And I'm still here until Sunday morning.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:47, closed)

Kaol!
*blushes* - thank you.
( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:47, closed)

@Kaol
I thought your knife was part of your anatomy, and you'd need to have it surgically removed.

Clendrix is indeed honoured to have seen you in such a state. Were you excited, clendrix, or do you prefer him fully knife-clothed.

*has trouble typing due to sticky fingers from HLT's buns*

*realises above is ambiguous*

*chuckles*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:47, closed)

@ancrenne
Barfy and the rest.

*gratefully accepts B3ta cake*

This should settle it. Many thanks!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:48, closed)

Burt...
I read that as "man-slug".
I'm now scared of an entirly fictional, yet terrifying beast.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:48, closed)

morning folks
just had a possible breakthrough with my work, so am rewarding myself with a bit of b3ta time.

how are you all doing?

edit: man-slugs: I had to remove a slug almost the size of a man from my kitchen last night. fucking things.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:48, closed)

@Bert
HLT's marmalade activities can be found here.

I rather enjoyed it.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:49, closed)

@Kaol
Man-slug?

Now I'm having visions of you in a gold bikini being molested by Jabba the Hutt.

Take the images away!

*self spangs with buckets of mindbleach*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:50, closed)

I'll give you some sticky buns
Ms ancrenne.

EDIT:

Maaaaaaaaaaan-Sluuuuuuuuuug!
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:50, closed)

oh noes!
the CD appears not to have saved it properly.

ARSES!

So I'll have to write it out instead.

*goes away to write*

*hands out cake to occupy people in the meantime*

*Cries again*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:51, closed)

@ancrenne
and you've just reminded me of more evidence of my rubbishness

we've been trying to sort out our bathroom plumbing and plastering for a while, and have managed to get it to fall either side of that weekend. This means that there is a possibility that I will have to be working my arse off on the saturday and sunday to replace floorboards, strip tiles and put up plasterboard.

I'll try my damnedest to meet whoever for breakfast, but I thought I should forewarn you...

I'm going to be so relieved when both gig and bathroom are out of the way!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:53, closed)

Mornin' HLT!
I look forward to your story!

And morning to Vipros too!

Ah, there's too many of you... *ruffles everyones hair in an affectionate manner*

I'm off to a Thai restaurant for lunch... Any recommendations? I know sod all about Thai food!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:56, closed)

Oi Vipros!
What's all this about? We're trekking all the way down to Exeter, some of us from foreign soil, and all we're allowed to do is adore your stage antics from several rows back and then leave again without even being granted an interview.

*packs bottle of piss to throw*
( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:57, closed)

DiT
you're damn right I expect royalty cheques. Plus £10 from every till and £50 from every cashpoint from here to there too :)

What's this about me and marmalade Bert? Oh...that...mmm....

Right kids I'm off to work, play nicely without me and I'll see some of you later on.

Edit: Crispy duck. Can't go wrong
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:58, closed)

Isn't there
Some story about a monster-type thing that lives in around there?

*packs spear*
*packs monster knife*
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:59, closed)

*cowers*
I feel bad enough about it already believe me...

I'll see you at the gig, because we are on first and there are 3 other bands to enjoy.

my life is as hectic as a very hectic thing at the moment.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:59, closed)

Why do you all have to live in the south.
Snot fair!


Hi everyone.
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:00, closed)

@vipros
Alright then.

*grumbles because vipros too lovely to stay annoyed with*
( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:03, closed)

*Does a runner with the Royalties*
See ya later, Becky! Have a good day at w*rk!

EDIT: Why do you have to live up north, BGB? 'Snot fair! :(

EDIT: Thanks, acncrenne... Prepare for a right good poking!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:03, closed)

@DiT
Thai green curry is rather fine. But watch for hotness, or your arse may not thank you tomorrow.

It's best eaten outside on a scorching hot day with a pint or two of Tiger beer.

And an afternoon off.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:03, closed)

don't see that many squaddies around in Exeter these days
I think they've been scared off by the influx of chavs...

@clendrix: aww thanks *huggles*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:04, closed)

@Dit
I've got an old best mate who lives in New Zealand. A new best mate who lives in Southampton, (you know who you are), and a lover in another country.

I'm sad.
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:06, closed)

Morning all!
Ah, an hour to deadline, I've printed all my paperwork, got it signed, just need to pass it all over to legal to bundle up. Then I'm freeee! Free to fuck about on b3ta for the afternoon as there's no one else in my team around today. I think...

Bert, from your post a way back in this thread - the term petting zoo DOES NOT imply that you're free to violate the goats in any way you see fit. You're meant to stroke them affectionately, not fuck them...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:06, closed)

It's a giant cat
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beast_of_Exmoor

I dunno if Exmoor is anything to do with Exeter though.

But I'll be fuckin' ready for that bastard.
Those things exist, you know?
I saw one.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:07, closed)

Damn my boss for distracting me
I've lost track now, where were we?

becky was putting marmalade on here bum for tulip to lick off as she was typing up her naughty story, Kaol was playing with knives, I was bumming goats, have I missed anything?

Hi D's G!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:09, closed)

Ooh, Hijack Oscar!
I like them.
Unfortunately, spent all my frivolous expenditure on much heaviness. *see sig*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:10, closed)

Grandad
Glad you immediately know how to make best of an afternoon of freedom!
( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:10, closed)

Morning all!
I had a lovely dream last night where we all went to the zoo and then we went to the park and HLT had brought a picnic and then we played a game with sticks.

And then I got eaten by a Komodo dragon, but up until then it was all good.

Re 4th July minibash - it's the day after my birthday, so depending on how much my friends suck I may well join you.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:12, closed)

@Kaol
Exmoor is quite far away, but I've seen a big cat too, admittedly not near Exeter though...

If I can find the photos I'll post a link

I was on work business and unfortunately had the worst camera in the world with me, otherwise I'd be famous!

Edit: here it is
Photo

We figured that it was about the size of a big dog, alsatian or bigger.

it was jet black and definitely a cat, you could tell by the way it walked.

We found footprints as well, big and far apart.

I was so gutted to just have a shitty camera, if I'd had mine it's got such a zoom that I'd have been able to see what it had for breakfast...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:14, closed)

@BGB
You're not sad!

At the very least, you're well travelled! :)

*hugs*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:15, closed)

@DIT
Thanks for the hugs


*hugs back*
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:18, closed)

@Vipros
Thats no moon!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:27, closed)

Hi ancrenne!
*Snogs back*

*Hugs BGB*

*Wonders what to do with the rest of you and settles on a hearty man-slap*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:27, closed)

Man-slap?
*frowns*

Unleash the man-sluuuuug!
*points*
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:29, closed)

Hmm
I now have a mental image of Kaol pointing at me a la Donald Sutherland in the last shot of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, yelling 'man sluuuuugs' in a suitably eerie manner...

*shudders*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:31, closed)

@Davros
give him a couple of sharp kidney punches and he will soon snap out of it!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:33, closed)

Mornin' chaps
* realises is late for the morning *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:36, closed)

Come on guys.
I think your all comfortable enough in your sexuality to admit you want to hug each other. I know Mistaspakkaman would.

Edit - talk of the devil.

Hi Mistaspakkaman.
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:36, closed)

BGB
I'm scared of showing any kind of affection for members of my sex.
I don't want my Stella-swilling, football-fanatic mates to think I'm a g-a-y-e-r.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:38, closed)

I'm quite happy BGB
certainly don't mind hugging other chaps. As long as Kaol keeps his tongue to himself...

*Hugs*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:39, closed)

Yes it's true
I am the Devil today!

* hugs everyone back *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:40, closed)

Morning Spak
What's your opinion on man slugs? You must have one...

Edit: an opinion, that is. Unless...
( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:41, closed)

Scene One. In which HAPPYLITTLETULIP and ANCRENNE get into some trouble.
It is a lovely day in b3taland. The sun is shining. The sky is blue. HLT is skipping down the street, thinking about kittens.

HLT: I love kittens! They are so fluffeh! Ooh. I wonder if I put any pants on this morning? *checks* Oh. No, I didn’t. Never mind. Oh look! There’s Ancrenne!

For it is she.

Ancrenne: Hello HLT! How nice to see you! Look, I made you some sticky buns.
HLT: Lovely to see you to Ancrenne. Wow! Sticky buns! *buries face in Ancrenne’s sticky buns* *nomnomnoms*.
Ancrenne: Careful now.
HLT: Oh Ancrenne, I do so love your sticky buns. But tell me, you aren’t wearing any shoes. Why is this?

Ancrenne: *looks at feet* Oh noes! I am indeed barefoot! Someone must have stolen my shoes! *cries*
HLT: *cries* But who would do such a thing! You’re so pretty!
Ancrenne: Yes, I know. Look, there’s a policeman over there. Let us report this shoe related crime to him.
HLT: Yes, let’s. And look. His helmet is all shiny.

They approach the policeman. His helmet is indeed very shiny.

HLT: Constable! Oh, constable!
Ancrenne: No, I shaved this morning.
Policeman: ‘Elloelloello! Woss all this then?
HLT&Ancrenne: Please Mr Policeman, we wish to report a crime.
Policeman: Hay crime?
HLT: Yes, look, my friend has had her shoes stolen. Gosh, your helmet is so shiny Mr Policeman!
Policeman: Why thenk you modom. Hi polish hit hevery day in case hany ladies wish to hadmire hit. Would you like to ‘ave a stroke hof it?
HLT: *shocks* Why no, I would not! *pokes tongue out*
Ancrenne: And what about my shoes? They have been stoled, possibly by a criminaller.
Policeman: Hin that case, Hi will ‘ave to haccompany you to the nick and give you a good going over in the hinterview room. Walk this way modom.
Ancrenne: Halp! Halp! I’m being stolen by a policeman! Oi! Stop poking me with your truncheon!

The policeman uses his truncheon to chivvy her along. HLT is left alone in the street.

HLT: Oh noes! A policeman has stolen Ancrenne! I’m all alone! What WILL I do? *cries*

End of scene one.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:50, closed)

A slug
Can also be an amount of liquid which is swallowed in a gulp.

Therefore a man slug could be...

*considers tone suitably lowered*

Edit - forget this, HLT's policeman story has appeared!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:51, closed)

Hi everybody!
Is everyone happy again this morning? I saw internet fisticuffs on some threads that I read in bed when I was waiting to wake up enough to get to the shower.

Oh look a goat. It's got handprints on it's hips, how odd.

*sexes Goat*

Oh Noes! It's got the bad aids on its bum!

Edit - I love it HLT!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:51, closed)

@tulip
Post that somewhere so I can click it NOW.

I've never seen such a good example of b3ta- speak.

EDIT @al where are these fisticuffs of which you speak? I heard about it, I want to know what's been going on.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:53, closed)

Ooh, check me out with my new icon!
I'm fully paid up now!

Right so. I'm off to eat Thai food! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:00, closed)

@various
Re set clocks forward a few minutes: I do that as well. This is helped by the fact that all my time-pieces (watch, mobile phone, PC-clock, alarm-clock etc.) are slightly fast. Has anyone seen a slow timepiece?

@clendrix: Congratulations on still being alive.

Re man slugs - man-hugs are better * hugs clendrix *

Re: July 4 bash: Too far away for me at too short notice. Major GAH!

@BGB: I'm coming to the Manchester bash in November. Should we arrange a Yorkshire bash in the new year?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:06, closed)

I just realised,
This was a serious post that I made about advice!
Damn you thread-jackers!
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:09, closed)

*jacks Kaols thread*

Hey, that's no thread!

Ancrenne, you lucky thing!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:13, closed)

@HLT
Nice story! Look forward to reading the next part.

@Kaol: but I just tried to bring up clocks again.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:14, closed)

@ Kaol
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

*Twirls moustache*

Morning HLT! That was a lovely story.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:15, closed)

Morning
oh god my head hurts today...

I woke up covered in newspapers and pitta bread.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:18, closed)

Afternoon, Mr Zap
So why's that then? Did you fall asleep in an alley behind a Greek restaurant or something?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:21, closed)

@spak
nice hug!

Yorkshire Bash - yay! Can't do the Easter One, so I'd be up for a trip earlier in the year.
( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:21, closed)

I
wish I had... I think I decided to try to read the paper in bed... whilst eating pitta bread.

It went horribly wrong.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:22, closed)

Today in the car
I was thinking about why is it that tiny animals (as in baby animals) are considered so much nicer than grown up ones?

I see a tiny deer, all wobbly legs and i'm all "Aaaaaaaw! Itsch a widdy wickle deerkin!"

I see an adult deer and I think "Mmmmmmm, venison casserole"

I see a little puppy and I go "Wook at da widdle puppypuppypuppypuppypuppy! ITsch SOOOOOOOOO cute!", but adult dogs are just "nice dog" and on with my day.

And small birds are the same, if I see a row of ducklings it's all I can do to stop myself from picking them all up and cuddling them and rubbing my face on their cute little downy fluffeh-ness, but with a grown Mallard I just think "If I had enough gaffa tape that would make a cracking sex toy".
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:23, closed)

Al...
Keep your damn hands off my "thread"!

Mr. Z, if it helps, I was nearly an hour late to work, and my mouth tastes like an ashtray.

*frowns*

Also, I had to phone my brothers school for him, to say he was ill today. (he wasn't really, he just wanted to sleep, but fair enough).
So I told a graphic, and slightly disturbing story of him vomiting everywhere because I'd given him bad squid. To his form tutor.
Who sounded both disgusted and disturbed.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:25, closed)

@al
probably because they are more tender. And they resist less.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:26, closed)

@al
It's because you are a bestial paedophile.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:27, closed)

Yorkshire bash
Shall we hold it in York on the last weekend in January (Saturday Jan 31)?

York is conveniently located on the main railway from London to Edinburgh so it's easy to access. Plus it's a lovely city.

Mornin' Z
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:28, closed)

Mr S
What a blindingly good idea. I've never got pissed in York before. Plus it's only an hour by train!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:30, closed)

Never been to York...
but it looks like I might be going!

Stick it on the calendar!

Have added own event in August, but suspect it might be a bit far for most :(
( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:30, closed)

@Al
I'm only like that to a certain extent.

Fluffy duckings are cute, but so are adult ducks. (And the adults are very tasty, with a nice sauce)

Deer - well, the wee ones are cute-ish, but I prefer them in that they're less likely to do my car serious damage than Donner and Blitzen if I should happen to hit them on the road.

And they're quite tasty too, suitably cooked.

Lambs are cute, but sheep are just plain daft. That said, they make a lovely Sunday dinner.

But I think cats of any age are cute. So I don't eat them.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:31, closed)

I shall not be attending
North-related bashes, it's too far for me.
Plus I'm a horrible, predudiced person when it comes to the North of England.
Sorry...
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:33, closed)

...
York is lovely. Not been there for years though.

My room is rocking. Its either an earthquake or a hangover.

Bloody plate tetonics.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:36, closed)

@clendrix
We're intercontinental baby - WOO!

Re cute baby animals: In an old version of the 'Kitten' article on Wikipedia, it discussed why kittens were cute. For some reason, it's not on the current page.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:39, closed)

@Kaol
* puts on flat cap *

* frowns *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:51, closed)

*looks at Spakka*
*tuts*
*provides whippet*

Much better.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:54, closed)

@spakka
You forgot your whippet...

Edit - Damn! Wookiee got there first.

You're coming to the Edin-bash aren't you, Kaol? I hope you're not as prejudiced about Scotland as you are about the north of England. We'd have to set the kilted highlanders on you, with their claymores.

*falls into stereotypical mode*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:54, closed)

Yay!
York bash is good for me. Only an hour on the train also.

@Kaol, you may not like the North but surely you like us northerners. If Ancrenne can drag her pretty little arse up here, then why can't you.
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:55, closed)

I like Scotland
That's different :p

Although I'm not sure that Scotland likes me anymore...
( Cawl, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:55, closed)

Edinburgh
Isn't really Scotland though is it, it's like the south of England but up north.

*grins*

*awaits claymore*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:58, closed)

Don't worry Kaol
You're very welcome here. Just don't mention 1966...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:58, closed)

York bash - 31 January 2009
.
It's on the calendar
.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:59, closed)

@al
Edinburgers (is that a word) get a reputation for snobbishness and meanness, unlike the Glaswegians, who are reputed to be homely.

In fact, the Edinburgh folk are fine and Glaswegians are just a bit rougher round the edges. But Edinburgh's full of tourists in summer. The population virtually doubles, and you can't get moving during festival time.

So in that respect, yes it is like the south of England. Only less warm.

*readies claymore anyway*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:02, closed)

@K2k6
Actually that's exactly what I was going for. The fact the most people in Edinburgh at the time that most people visit edinburgh, aren't from Edinburgh.

And although Glasgow has a bad reputation south of the border, everyone I know who has moved to/come from there says it is actually very nice.

*nonchalantly hides shield up jumper*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:06, closed)

Oi!
And what pray tell is wrong with the North of England?

*harrumphs indignantly*

EDIT: I love Edinburgh and go at least 3 times a year. depending where you go (i.e. which pubs) you shouldn't find it hard to get chatting to the locals, in my experience. Glasgow's also nice, but in a different way, and when I was last there it didn't appear very child-friendly when it came to eating out which was a pain in the arse.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:07, closed)

I like Edinburgh
and Glasgow

admittedly what little of them I saw was through the bottom of a series of vodka bottles....

I've not got much experience of the North of England, and what little I have had seems alright, but I just can't shake this overwhelming feeling that it's just not as good.

Although saying that, I have that feeling about everything north of and east of Bristol (this includes Bristol)

and most of Somerset
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:11, closed)

I've been to Glasgow.
I found it very palatable.

We were offered a drink by a sozzled tramp.

We declined.
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:12, closed)

The North of England
Still tends to suffer from a stereotyped image of cloth caps, whippets and dirty industry. However, it is changing quite rapidly although it does suffer more than its fair share of deprivation.

But I wouldn't really want to live anywhere else. I'm ten minutes from the coast, 20 minutes to the hills, and 30 minutes from a nice city. Also just over an hour to Edinburgh, and three hours to London Village.

And it doesn't take me 2 hours to commute to work every day, which is a bonus.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:30, closed)

York
is actually a very pleasant city. It's a traditional county-town that survived the industrial revolution.

Re Edinburgh and Glasgow: Edinburgh's also a very pleasant city that's got lots of great places for wandering around. Glasgow too has it's gems if you know where to find them.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:37, closed)

@Davros
Yeah but on the down side, you live really close to Newcastle!

*sniggers*

But in fairness, you are quite close to the Metro Centre.

*shudders*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:42, closed)

*Swipes al*
Newcastle's a great city. Compact, easy to get round on foot.

Take your point about the Metrocentre though. handy to have on your doorstep, but after a couple of hours wandering around it I tend to start suffering from that sensation where you know you're there, but at the same time you're not - kind of out-of-body-ish.

Weird.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:50, closed)

On the odd occasion
that I've been there, I found it a bit like Soylent Green.

But I found the same thing in the Trafford Centre in Manchester.

I think it's just big souless shopping centres in general. They suck out your brainzzzzzzzzz.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:00, closed)

Lived in a few of the places you lot are mentioning:
Newcastle, 23 years on and off: nice place, found it a bit hard to find decent bars (i.e. not full of idiots and quiet enough to have a chat). Friendly people in general.

Also, when will people finally realise that the metrocentre is just a load of shops and NOT a holiday destination? *grumbles*

Bristol, 4.5 years on and off: not bad, plenty of good ales and nice people. Excellent music scene.

I've also spent a reasonable amount of time in Edinburgh, Glasgow and London:

I love the buzz I get in London for the first couple of days and then the shine wears off and I want to leave sharpish.

Both Edinburgh and Glasgow are lovely, but as pointed out earlier, Edinburgh is full of tourists and therefore has to take 2nd place to the much more relaxed Glasgow.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:14, closed)

Shippy
If it's quiet-enough-to-have-a-chat-in bars in Newcastle you want, the Crown Posada or the Bodega are good places to start. The Bodega used to be a mosque, and has a fantsatic stained glass domed ceiling. Which is also quite ironic.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:27, closed)

.
.
Chat continues here
.
EDIT: Part 2 of HLT's story is here.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:46, closed)

HLT
is a very rude girl and I think she should be spanked for posting such filth

*spanks

hard*

Al, I have the same thing with animals I see on the street. Only I think 'Ooh German Shephard...hip dysplacia, skinny cat...'diabetes/hyperthyroid etc...' Tis a curse I tells you.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 20:28, closed)