my favourite film
is Titanic. I also liked Bridget Jones' Diary, Love Actually, and especially Muriel's Wedding.

I'll probably end up with a woman who likes the Alien series.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 20 Apr 2007, 3:37, Reply)

I want those two hours of my life back
The Matrix II - what the fuck was that about? (Needless to say I didn't go see the Matrix III)

Love Actually - oh my fucking Jesus Christ on a wheelbarrow. Fucking fucking cunting fuck.

High Fidelity - unlike the other two, which I at least knew weren't going to be edifying, this was a huge disappointment. I like Nick Hornby and, up til this film, liked John Cusack. Now I just want to punch his smug, cunty face in. (Cusack, not Hornby in case it's not clear.)
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Fri 20 Apr 2007, 2:39, Reply)

It was for research.
I was only posting this to fill space, but it seems it might be accidentally relevant to the QOTW:

www.theage.com.au/news/national/gay-club-visit-leaves-lib-reeling/2007/04/19/1176697005204.html

"...after seeing Health Minister Bronwyn Pike's handling of allegations that some HIV-positive men were deliberately spreading the disease, he felt compelled to raise the issue.

He paid $15 to enter the venue and was given a free condom.

"In the context of the behaviours in that venue, I think a single condom was inadequate," he said."

On the other hand it's always good to see that rare bird, a Liberal* behaving like a liberal.

*For you Merkins, Liberals are our conservative party - think Francis Fukuyama, not Jane Fonda.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Fri 20 Apr 2007, 2:30, Reply)

movies to get it on to


my first dates used to consist of having said bird over to watch john carpenters "the thing". usually was an accurate barometer. never did get laid after it tho...

...i did however have an amazing session with a lass after watching "kids"... was a little wierded out at first, but i soon forgot about it.

julia roberts can lick my balls, after we watch "the thing" that is
(goorf, Fri 20 Apr 2007, 1:57, Reply)

.
As we seem to have moved onto shit movies...

1. Master and Commander, yawn!
2. The Hulk, the biggest pile of shit I have ever seen.
3.Frankenfish, appauling yet stunningly brilliant B-movie!

Why do most women have such godawful taste in films??
(lithium, Fri 20 Apr 2007, 0:52, Reply)

dear god!
" Not much
Get a lad to buy me a drink. And my friends one, obviously. Then he tries a chatup line. I tell him to sod off (til we're thirsty again).

One time I went home with a bloke's change from a £20. I didn't mean to"

Do you not worry about him slipping drugs into your drink?? Jeeeees.

(Also is this not being a blatent whore?)
( SiX and his hat, Fri 20 Apr 2007, 0:05, Reply)

I can top them all...
I actually paid to sit through StreetFighter the Movie with some lass I had a crush on in order to try and get into her pants.

I'm not talking about the (actually quite good) anime version. I'm talking about the one with Jean-Claude Van Damme as Guile, Kylie Minogue as Cammy and Raul Julia as M Bison.

The WORST film ever. Bar none.

It was Raul Julia's last film before he died too. What a shitty epitaph for an otherwise great actor.

I didn't ever score with that lass either. She just wanted to be mates. Fucksocks.
(Arnolfini wasn't feeling very funny on, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 22:56, Reply)

..
Say It Isn't So.

Sadly it was. Actually chose to see this pile of dog shite instead of Crouching Tiger... Even perving over Heather Graham couldnt save it
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 22:15, Reply)

Adam Sandler
I would rather have my nutsack squeezed flat in an industrial vise, while boiling oil is being poured over me, than see Adam Sandler in ANY movie.
(barrycounty, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 20:29, Reply)

Pearl Harbour!
"I beg you, don't take my wings"

A promising film snatched from the jaws of success by a vomitous "love interest".

Now a lass who would sit through "The Battle of Britain"... Hmmm...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 19 Apr 2007, 20:21, Reply)

in her shoes was great!
but then i was just perving on cameran diaz for 2 hours, mmmm


Muriels wedding, as it happens, IS EXACTLY like facing the business end of a manure spreader as the release valve is opened.
(skankgirl, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:59, Reply)

How has noone mentioned this yet?
The only thing more boring than fishing?
"A River Runs Through It."
A film about fishing. I was nine years old when my mother forced me to watch that shite. Pure Torture.
(DippyFi, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:44, Reply)

I would do anything for love...
but I'd be buggered if I'd watched Top Gun. (literally)
(mehmeh 0% witty, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:43, Reply)

Bodyguard
I ithink it shoud be "repressed", not "forgotten".
(kitescreech still here, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:37, Reply)

I'm sorry - I think you've all forgotten
The Bodyguard.
(onefishtwofish Redfishbluefish, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:36, Reply)

love actually
I cried three times during love actually. mind you, I was on a load of shrooms and had just been sick.
( yes yes yes man oi mate, someone's writtten 'bum' on your neck, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:22, Reply)

one time I really wanted this girl to do sex with me and she wanted to go see a film
so I spent ages talking about all the carzy thing I had done to get people to do sex with me
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:20, Reply)

Email for you
What a story. Someone uses some kind of communications method to date someone else. Sounds familiar? Look at "Message in a bottle". "Sleepless in seattle". I mean, what next? How about a plane pulling one of those long advertisement signs? Or a blimp with a large text on it reading "I am looking for someone to have sex with! Dial 1800-IAMHORNY now!". Movies running along these lines are what cat's vomit is for food.
( RedWine President of the S.C.U.M., Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:19, Reply)

Well...
I spent many many many hours/weeks/months trying desperatly to seduce a bloke I liked and who was having none of it because we where "Too good as friends" or in otherwords "I don't fancy you woman, leave me alone".
Like I said this went on for what seemed like forever, untill one day he turned round and said "you know what? I would like to have sex with you, when are you free next?"
And what did I do?...

Well I got scared and buggered off of course. I'm still getting messages and emails from him!

What can I say, I'm a complicated person *shrugs*
(Nets_Fantastico, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:12, Reply)

Pearl Harbour blew chunks too...
...not for the romace bits which were OK, but for the lack of effort in making the modern US ships look like 1941 ships - very shoddy.
It was refreshing to learn that the Doolittle raid was the turning point in WW2 mind. I always though it was Stalingrad that ground down the German army and caused the Axis collapse, but obviously no, it was 12 bombers flying to Tokyo.
(kitescreech still here, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:09, Reply)

Worst film?
"Howard's End". I sat through the entire costumed period piece wankfest with my wife, sister and brother in law. At the end the women both spoke so glowingly of it that my brother in law and I stared at each other a moment, then asked, "Did we just watch the same film that you did?"

A co-worker who was a militant feminist was heaping praise on that film one day, and I asked her what was so wonderful about it. She went on for a while about the beauty of how the main character ended up owning the house at the end despite the schemes of the other relatives- and I pointed out to her that the main character had married solely for money, which in effect made her a very expensive prostitute.

Listening to Elaine froth at the mouth after that actually made the film worth seeing, now that I think about it...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:01, Reply)

The Piano
That film is fabulous! Harvey Keitel is soooo sexy in it - and not in anything else at all. Where she ends up playing the piano in less and less clothes is incredibly sensual...Jane Campion films are just the best...

Oh, and Eternal Sunshine - great film, shame Mark Ruffalo (swoons and throws knickers) has god awful hair and a crap geeky part in it...
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 19:00, Reply)

So, as we're going off topic: worst films ever ever ever ever
1. Love Actually (I fell asleep, actually)
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (I want my mind erased to erase this film from it)
3. The Sound of Music (my mum made me sit through this when I was 8)
4. Titanic (Stalker Boy)
5. The Craft (just... ARGH.)
6. My Fair Lady and other old-timey musical shite. (I am allergic to musicals).
( Maladicta, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 18:54, Reply)

The Piano
Dear god WHY will that woman not speak? I was on a night shift and fancied watching something a bit cerebral2 so I dug this out the collection.Pretentiuos arty wank.
(kitescreech still here, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 18:40, Reply)

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Worst film EVER. If you have not seen it, by all means DO NOT. Even if it is being shown with no residual personal cost to You, DONT DO IT!

I mean, I figured, after Lost in Translation, that Bill Murray wouldnt do another miserable film like that, right? So I watched it. I wanted to gouge my own eyes out halfway through the film just to make it stop...but I didnt...it's as if I was hoping something good would happen. It didnt.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 17:42, Reply)

Rubbish film date
Many years ago I went on a date to the local Odeon cinema to suffer Boomerang "featuring" Edward Murphy. I was accompanied by a girl who was not the best (far from it) but I was about 15 with no standards and a keen interest in learning the ways of the flesh. I think a bit of snogging and a cheeky grope were acquired which to be honest, was about the best I could have hoped for. Especially as I'd made her watch that sorry excuse for a film. Well, it was enough for me not to ask for my money back at least.
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 17:41, Reply)

van helsing
was a pile of shit. But those vampires were hot.
(frankspencer, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 17:30, Reply)

Titanic was pretty bad
It's no A Night To Remember. Leo is fantastic in Catch Me If You Can though. However, I submit Matrix 3, and Matrix 2 as being utter crapitude. 'we always intended to produce three films' my arse.

Based on that, it was actually surprising that V for Vendetta was quite good (although the graphic novel is better)
(EssY, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 17:28, Reply)

New QOTW....
Please tell us something funny that happened once.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 19 Apr 2007, 17:20, Reply)