oh shit!
It's Tuesday, and I haven't done a cute cat picture!

Fuck! Guys, quick! Do something cute!

Seriously, we're late guys!

Guys?


(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 2:55, Reply)

Today is my first day off in a while and the girlfriend is away....
So I was supposed to....

- Go to work to pick up my iron
- Stop in at the bank to pay my Credit Card Bill
- Buy some groceries & toiletries on the way back
- Do my ironing having retrieved my iron from work
- Vacuum the flat
- Clean the kitchen
- Get a haircut and have a proper shave
- Wrap various Christmas presents that have arrived early

So far I have

- Moved from my bed to my chair
- Watched 7 Episodes of House MD
- Watched the new Episodes of Family Guy, American Dad and the Simpsons
- Watched Tropic Thunder & Star Wars: The Clone Wars
- Eaten the entire Advent calendar my flatmate got me because i was too lazy to cook the food i hadn't been out to buy yet.

I'm still sitting on b3ta now at 2:30AM wandering if I can motivate myself to go to a 24hour Tesco's or something but that would involve a shower.

Maybe i'll just eat my flatmates Advent Calendar too and tell myself i'll replace it tomorrow. Or not, because we all know i'll never replace it.
( Mister B is eating an icanhazcheezburger with lmaonaise, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 2:42, 2 replies)

note to self.
edit this later.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 2:23, Reply)

Procrastination is like masturbation ...
it seems like a great idea at the time, but you're only fucking yourself.
(Que?, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 2:19, 1 reply)

Internet is such a bad invention.
I bet in the 1950s and the like there wasn't a whiff of procrastination because there wasn't any internet so therefore no easy distraction. It's bloody annoying, every day I say to myself 'Right come on let's get this homework done now rather than leave it to 2am the night before it's due'. Every time I wait until the last minute and I don't even get a super power-up boost of smartness (is that even a word), the essays and general homework are still shit.

My brain will tell me 'Come on it's only 300 words you can write that in your sleep' and then I realise I probably could so I can spend the time that I'm awake checking on various silly websites like this. I think I should hit my brain a bit to teach it a lesson, what do you think?
(I Am Plague @Mistication92, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 0:12, 4 replies)

oh part time degree, I hardly knew ye
I am currently doing a degree part time through work (all paid for) as I dropped out first time out and was glad of the chance.

the next assignment is due on Monday and I have decided to piss off to France for the week and get mullered on the local cider and watch football with the assignment being an afterthought.

6 litres of the stuff later I'm sat online trying to find the actual brief for it half-heartedly whilst continuing to drink the evil peeve.

so, if anyone fancies explaining finance and accounting for sales people let me know.

in the mean time I will continue to drink Breton cider until sunday night when I will overdose on high strength coffee and turn in a sweat-soaked effort at 11:59am on Monday.
(DissolvedMynci, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 23:52, 2 replies)

Also, not strictly procrastination but
laziness none the less.

My friend got fined last year for not wearing his seatbelt. The fact that he had jumped in his car and drove about fifty metres up the street to the shop was not accepted as an excuse by the officers.

He was also recently fined for parking on a double yellow line outside his sister's.... only his back wheel was on the line but he was still fined. Upon returning to his sisters about a month later, he again parked on the same double yellow line rather than drive down the street a bit, claiming that it was "OK, it's the weekend" and adding if he received another fine, we should help pay it as he had given us a lift.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 23:33, Reply)

Well,
I have just this second completed the animation for the first block of my animation course.

Mind, it was due in earlier today.....
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 23:27, Reply)

I don't procrastinate....that much
I don't really need to say anything other than, I was bought one of these for my birthday/christmas a few years back.

www.theprocrastinator.co.uk/shop/category-one/the-procrastinator-timewaster
(OzEden is probably clinically insane, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 23:24, 1 reply)

My brother
I can remember once the road to our local shop was blocked for cars to go down, so instead of walking 200 yards to the shop, he drove 4 miles on a detour to get to the shop.
(javpanda, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 23:23, Reply)

i hate washing up.
I used to live next door to a second had shop, that sold Plates for 5p each. So instead of washing dishes i'd just throw them in the bin and go next door and buy a new plate. On the few occasions there were no plates, just tea saucers i'd eat my meals in very small portion.
(javpanda, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 23:18, 3 replies)

Driving licence
I failed a driving test at the tender age of 17, mostly because I was a bad driver.

Being an indignant little tosser, and somewhat headstrong, I continued to carry on driving with a provisional licence for the next few years (about 10 ) After adding up my accumulated fines and points (£600 and 8 respectively) it occurred to me that it may be less expensive to just retake the test.

With 10 years of driving under my belt, I pissed myself, sorry I mean pissed the test and French kissed my elderly male examiner.

Result? pass
( slapdash flying through the cool clean air since, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 22:52, Reply)

My friend
doesn't usually procrastinate much at most things, she will get her essays done well on time and has a lot of interesting hobbies.
But when it comes to getting ready for something, she is the Queen of procrastinating. She may have a couple of minutes until she is supposed to be somewhere but will instead play on the computer, doss around doing nothing, spend hours doing her hair.
These are a few things that her procrastinating have made her late for:

59 minutes late for a lecture that lasted an hour.

An entire day late for meeting a friend (exactly 24 hours.)

Regularly saying she will be ready in 5 minutes but still fussing 3 hours later...
( Mellicious is made of candy, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 22:34, Reply)

Super Smash Bros.
Melee, specifically. God damn it, everytime I feel a slight pang of work ethic, my mind floats to a Dr. Mario meteor smash or plowing through Giga Bowser with Ness' self-inflicted PK Thunder attack.

Fuck, I'm picking up the controller. Fuck. Fuck!
( AgentMuu hentai coordination, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 22:25, 2 replies)

somethings are worth putting off
Through creative moving around the world and irregular self employment - I managed to put off paying my taxes for seven years once.

It's not worth it, no matter how much you'd like them to - they don't forget. And penalties are a pain.

My friend put off general hygienics, dealing with a cut on his hand, and the eventual much needed doctors visit long enough to actually get gangrene. I pretty much didn't think spoiled little rich kids got that disease, but - with hard work and effort, he proves once again that anything is possible...

I had a tendency for a few years to put off breaking up with girlfriends I was done with until they either got a) "felt I wasn't really trying anymore" (well, yes) or b) got rather upset about the new relationship I seemed to be with someone else...

I did out grow that habit though! (either that or new ladies stopped being interested and the last one just doesn't care... hmm)

And I keep meaning to get one of those little icons too...
( Allisade would love to hear from you, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 22:14, Reply)

.
Ive got 4 assignments to be in tomorrow and i haven't even started them oh well I'll do them next week.
(vince_noir, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 21:56, 1 reply)

Driving
I decided to take driving lessons on my 18th birthday, but I put it off to the next week, and then the next week, etc etc

I'm 30 now.
(Mr.Dog was in love again on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 21:12, 1 reply)

As I am a supply teacher (for the moment)
I am in the lovely position of not having to plan any lessons.
This is with one exception. Tuesday afternoons.
Then I teach two classes. I teach them a 45 minute lesson. The same 45 minute lesson one after the other.
I've not planned it yet.
It's 9:05 on Monday.

Well I've got tomorrow morning I guess.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 17 Nov 2008, 21:06, 6 replies)

eeew
Im picking my nose. There are lots of nuggets up there today.
Im too lazy to get up and get some kitchen roll.
Instead, I am feeding the bogeys to my cat.
(dave likes cheese, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 19:51, 5 replies)

I messed up my entire life because I got high I lost my kids and wife because I got high now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why - cause I got high
- cause I got high
- cause I got high
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 19:30, 5 replies)

procrastination can be a bad thing
don't get me wrong, i like putting things off as much as the next person, but i do regret it sometimes.

like when i decided i could put off losing weight. that seemed like a good idea right up until i was in a car crash(too fat for the seatbelt to fasten).

or the time i decided to wait a day to visit and elderly friend in the hospital so i could go to bingo instead. she died that night.

or the time i decided to go on the piss instead of paying the cable bill. i'll be cut off on the 13th. i was meant to be cut off last thursday, looks like cable are procrastinators, too.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 18:48, Reply)

i have a "phase test" on weds...
in microbiology...it's half an hour to write an essay and we get a question about some gram-negative bacteria...and i know bugger all about gram-negative bacteria...best start revisin soon!
( Kaydie hasn't been on here in ages, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 18:47, Reply)

Leaving the pub

(Lord Lucan, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 17:31, 1 reply)

3 years at university studying Geology...
...and I found myself working for a company digging cassiterite (SNO2) out of the ground in a God forsaken part of Bolivia. I wouldn't mind but everyone there had the tact of a pork salesman at a Jewish wedding. Some poor sod got crushed in a sub surface rock fall and they all thought it was hilarious!

I wasn't amused. I was quite friendly with a minor government official who had a thing for British food(!) and we hung around together. I told him about this sort of thing - complained about the safety of the place and how people treated the death of workers with insensitivity and stupidity.

He thought it was funny too - even told the story to lots of his mates in his department...who ALSO thought it was funny.

That's when I realised I was in a pro-crass `tin' nation.
(Audax Victor, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 17:28, 6 replies)

I have procrastination down to an artform that even I couldn't explain to others
but I can see why so many people get it confused with laziness, I suspect half the reason I procrastinate is simple laziness.

I can waste whole days, from waking up anywhere between 10am and 2pm after a night shift* (despite not really needing that much sleep, I'm convinced) right up until my boyfriend gets home at about 5pm, or until I go to work or bed if he isn't coming home.
What do I do? I have no idea, at least not for that long.
I spazz about on b3ta. Check Jayisgames.com for any interesting games, play them even if they're not really.
Check daily comics (not even that many!)
Check lolcats, icanhascheezburger and faildogs despite mostly not even finding them that funny
Check email (many, many times)
Maybe wander the flat or get something to eat, though often I don't eat until the missus gets home.
Sometimes I watch crappy tv, but this is quite rare as well.

Somehow I manage to waste whole hours, almost every single day, without really knowing how it's possible to even spend that much time doing so little! and all this despite having a messy flat that I could be tidying (and would be much happier if I did) and various other tasks on a long list.

The procrastination is this- if I had done some of those other tasks, often ones that would barely take a few minutes each, then I could fire up a proper game, go out, DO something...but I wont let myself because I have too much I'm determined to get sorted first.

*This is when I am at my worst, but on day shifts the hours just shift around slightly so I waste my time around when I've been out working. Days off are sweet relief but incredibly depressing!
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 16:51, 8 replies)

I'm cuban.
You can do the rest.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 16:47, 6 replies)

Knickers
I used to do a lot of sewing - could make anything, all the latest fashions, just took a look at whatever was going, whip the scissors out and Bob's your uncle.

One day, due to some kind of laundry system malfunction, I ran out of clean drawers.

Rather than a. wait for the washing/drying to finish or b. cycle knickerless to Asda for more, I made some on my sewing machine, and very good knickers they were too.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 16:44, Reply)

I know some brothers
who are going to make that blue-eyed devil white man pay. You know, eventually.

They call themselves The Procrastination of Islam.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 16:25, 2 replies)

Nudie ladies
When I was in my early teens I had the great fortune of stumbling across a stack of razzle, fiesta and men only mags at a bus stop near my house that some friendly neighbourhood perv had bequeathed to the next randy teenager who happened by.

I had a problem.

Although the haul was the equivalent of discovering the Rosetta Stone to my teen eyes and grubby teen hands, there was absolutely no way I could stash all this porn in my room without my mum finding it.

So I decided to condense the porn. Refine the stack of twenty-odd mags down to one managable-sized ream of uber-porn. I would sift through, armed with a pair of scissors, and cut out the nicest sexiest dirtiest looking lay-dees and then make a scrapbook as the ultimate mastabatory aid.

It was a great plan.

Only I never got round to it. Instead I dumpped the pile of mags in the shed in the box my dad used to store the lawnmower in.

And then a couple of weeks later my ultra-Catholic, ultra prim n propper aunty wanted to borrow the mower...

My mum actually threw a plate at my head.

But she missed.

And in the end like all good Catholic mothers my mum was more relieved that I wasnt gay - apparently she had her doubts up until then.
( SpankyHanky, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 16:13, 2 replies)