Nursery Nurses
o.k sounds a bit harsh but Mrs. Arrow works at a nursery and has a real passion for looking after kids...yes folks she actually enjoys it. However anyone under the age of 20 who works in her nursery doesn't really give a fuck about the life noobs. I guess they’re the sort of people that fucked up at school and thought child care was an easy gig. Mrs. Arrow ends up doing all the work, like changing nappy after nappy because the youngsters hate doing it, so they would rather leave a child rolling around in its own shit if she isn't around.

Also part of the job is studying the child's development. These girls idea of child development is chucking the child down as soon as it comes in the nursery and checking out facebook on their phones for the rest of the day...worst of all when the new parents come in, naturally worried about leaving the child, they assure the parent everything is fine and they will look out for them every few minutes.....lies, most likely they will do fuck all if the kid is crying, until Mrs. Arrow or an equally able member of staff comes into the room and deals with it. I understand if your young and you don't know what to do with your life but please don't go into child care because it isn't easy to do well. Another reason for hating these idiots is Mrs. Arrow comes home completely exhausted and yours truly has to bear the brunt of this, which for me means, all the cooking, housework, garden duties, financial duties and last but no means least....no sex :( Yes we finally get to the bottom of what this rant is really about ;)
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:49, 1 reply)

Breakfast time pun writers
Always cracking bad yolks.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Anyone with Outreach or Diversity in their job title
you ought to be ashamed
(Scary Ghost, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Marine biologists
They serve no porpoise.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:05, 2 replies)

Taxi drivers
that go postal.


(Disclaimer: I have a dark sense of humour... extremely dark).
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:48, 4 replies)

Idiotic Pyramid Scheme Peddlers
Just a quick one, I recently received an email from a pyramid scheme peddler, via Total Jobs. Whilst it seems fairly innocent at first glance, ALL my friends who have CV's up there, also have received this same email. Normally there would be no cause for comment except for the stupid actions of this mystery man Robert Strange. A simple Whois on the mfligroup.com reveals his home address, phone number, and personal email address. Now I just have to decide a suitable mischief to send his way, any suggestions?


********************************************************************
From: MFLI Group
Date: 1 June 2010 18:08
Subject: Made For Life International Group
To: *******@*******.com

I have looked with interest at your CV on Total Jobs and decided that I would contact you.

I wondered whether you wanted to work for another company in a similar field to your previous employers or whether you may be open to a different type of opportunity in a different industry. Your mix of people skills and experience put you well placed to excel in our business and I want to meet with you to discuss the options available to you at this time.

My company is in Team Marketing and we major in the Health, Wellness and Lifestyle industry. At this time of uncertainty, due to the worldwide recession, it is nice to know that our parent company is continuing to go from strength to strength, with an increase of 20% worldwide in 2008 taking us to a turnover of $2.5 billion.

Due to our expansion throughout the UK, we are currently seeking key people around the country with the right attitude and attributes to work with us in Business and Marketing Development and, having read your CV, I am happy to arrange a meeting with you, to show you our business model.

I am meeting people at The Thistle Hotel, East Midlands Airport on Monday 7th June, between 5pm and 8pm. You have some of the skills and experience that we are looking for. You do not need to do any research prior to meeting me.

If you would like me to reserve some time for you please let me know as soon as possible.

Kind Regards

Robert Strange
[email protected]
We build people, people build businesses

(This is an email address only, there is no corresponding web site because I prefer to meet people in person)
(nibblet99 is avoiding work on, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:47, 9 replies)

Footballers
They get payed so much for kicking a ball... why?
surely that money could go to Doctors or someone more deserving?
And most of them act like Twunting Fucks!

bindun?
(eggs and spam *insert witty sig here*, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:39, 2 replies)

So not reading this weeks efforts
Will wait for this question to close and read the winners page only.

Only so many puns the human race should have to put up with before utter boredom sets in.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:39, 3 replies)

Pun-writers
Fucking cunts.

Seriously, can't we have 2 QOTW threads each week, one for puns and one for stories? Then 99.9% of people could read the stories and avoid the crap. I've literally never, ever been amused at one of these and I've been reading the QOTW for several years.
(rampants, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:36, 10 replies)

Anagram writers
Angus Frick knew
(Dwarfsmuggler Has hogtied Snow White, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:32, Reply)

alcoholic roofers
on the tiles all day
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Blacksmiths
always punching and upsetting
(nimrodihnio making gravy for one., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Sewage workers
always in shit
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:07, 4 replies)

unapologetic speech therapists
Sorry seems to be the hardest word
(nimrodihnio making gravy for one., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)