I had a vasectomy
a couple of months ago. They gave me something called a "modesty blanket", as there was obviously the doctor but also a couple of nurses in the room. The modesty blanket covered me from my feet up to my neck, other than a hole cut out, through which protuded my penis and testicles.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 14:07, 32 replies)

I'd like this
my penis & testicles are a joy to behold but my body looks like a bag filled with lumpy mash and my toenails look like pork scratchings*

*mrs duck is one lucky lady
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 14:15, closed)

This made me do a little lol...

And for that, I will click heartily.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 23 Jul 2014, 14:17, closed)

We have all been to the doctor.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 14:28, closed)

mine had cut outs for the nipples too

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 14:38, closed)

Is this, like, the sexiest qotw ever?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 14:39, closed)

no diggedy

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 15:25, closed)

*spluff* and I'm done

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 14:43, closed)

all three of them

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 14:55, closed)

^and another lol right there...

I don't care if you've got me on ignore - allow me to acknowledge your lolworthiness.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 23 Jul 2014, 15:02, closed)

Nothing wrong with three nipples
I was in a band at Uni called Scaramanga because we all had 3 nips.
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:00, closed)

Demons to some, etc

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 19:27, closed)

I believe it's called a 'glory hole'

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 15:06, closed)

Why?
I had one male doctor and two female nurses in the room, for mine, and they just had me drop my trousers and hop aboard the bed.
One of the nurses offered to hold my hand.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 15:15, closed)

Why not?
At least one of the other two will be holding some bits at the other end.
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 15:50, closed)

I'm thinking of having it done...

I heard that despite the anesthetic, you can sort of feel the tubes being 'tugged' inside you. Is that correct?

Edit: I mean having the snip BTW - not holding MM's hand - although I'm sure that would be fun too.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 23 Jul 2014, 15:55, closed)

You'll notice the deferens.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 16:11, closed)

Oh bravo!

( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:07, closed)

Isn't that an awful lot of pain.
Just so someone will hold your hand?
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 16:14, closed)

They used cautery on mine,
which gave me a mild electric shock (earthed through the bed frame, via my elbows) 3 times (one for the incision, one for each tube). Couldn't feel any tugging, just a sharp sting, and burnt elbows. Pretty sure this isn't a normal experience.
I never went through with subsequent fertility tests, which was a bit dense, purely as I didn't like the idea of wanking into a jar and delivering it to the maternity unit.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 16:15, closed)

I'm reading "maternity unit" as "vagina" here

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 16:24, closed)

I like to think that the local NHS has a sense of irony when they decided that post-snip men
ought to turn up at that particular department.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 16:34, closed)

why don't they want you to take it to pathology like a normal hospital would?
what use does the maternity department have for a jar slightly dampened with your sterile spunk?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 17:39, closed)

it's the lube they use for forceps deliveries

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 17:44, closed)

Search me, I'm not a pathologist.
Anyway, I never got to find out, did I?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 17:54, closed)

It was a fucking nightmare

( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 20:05, closed)

If your idea of a nightmare is having a middle-aged man go at your nethers with surgical-grade cutting tools, then,
uh, never mind.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 21:24, closed)

As I clutched the sides of the table
And endlessly dropped the f-bomb on the nurses who stood about nervously clutching syringes of anesthetic, the doctor twanged on my ball tubes like banjo strings, and said 'it is a mystery why most men feel nothing, and some feel such intense excruciating pain. Are you schizophrenic or an alcoholic?'
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 21:55, closed)

<s>d</s> l

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 16:29, closed)

I hal a vasectomy?
My fertility is going... I can feel it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 16:39, closed)

haha

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 16:44, closed)