I used to post interminably long pieces on a story telling website.
With little other need for verification than simply reading them it was quite apparent to even the dumbest reader that they were complete bullshit. Eventually even my name was adapted to and became synonymous with lying.
Yet I would defend the 'facts' presented in these tales to the point of often making myself look even more foolish by making greater and grander statements in order to justify the 'truths' I had already told.
Eventually I decided to publicly declare that I was leaving the site forever, never to return. Whilst doing so I took a few potshots at some of the sites resident trolls and a fellow storyteller.

I managed to stay away for a couple of weeks and then I returned in full bullshitting glory. Things were good briefly but then I started to cop some flack from the usual suspects. In a fit of (drunken) inspiration I thought I'd turn on a fellow storyteller - who knows best how to bully than someone who's already been bullied themselves? So, trying to ingratiate myself with those I'd previously suffered at the hands of I went to town on what had once been a fellow teller. I wrote mildly funny versions of post that he'd previously posted. It was funny at first but then my innate creepiness came to the fore and rather continuing to be humorous my copy-posts quickly became a bit weird and very urophilic.
Amongst the back slapping & new found camaraderie I had with the trolls and bullies picking on someone else I had a strange niggling in the back of my mind. But I chose to ignore it.

Eventually it hit me a bit like you'd prefer a punch in the face not to - my memory was too short. I had forgotten that my new besties who were all crowding around me congratulating on the fine job I had done picking on someone else were the self-same mob that only short weeks ago had been baying for my blood. And what was worse was that I had become one of them. From victim to perpetrator I had crossed over into a realm where I was a snide and nasty person whose only input to the site was to spit hatred, bile and invective at those I perceived to be different or weaker than myself.

I can't wait to hit my 10000 post mark!
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 1:41, 56 replies)

Star Wars?

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 2:32, closed)

Ewoks of Endor.

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 2:36, closed)

This is kind of like Ned Kelly except it
needs more mock Aussie slang.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 4:16, closed)

As 1 stingray said to the other -
"Crickey, stone the crows!"
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 4:21, closed)

True Aussie Version
I used to post a lot of shit on this website, right

Just fucking bullshit, and stuff. It was all shit, right, but some cunts usta get all fucking, y’know, annoyed and shit, and they’d all round on me, like flies to a turd. They usta say shit like, “Oh, bullshitter’s at it again” and shit, and then they’d call me out, and I was like. Yeah, righto cunt, whatever” and just go along with their shit but it used to like, shit me, and stuff .

They was so dumb right, ‘cos I made it all up anyway, which any deadshit shoulda seen, but they thought it was all real and shit.

One night I got real shitfaced and writ some bullshit, dug me own grave, really went troppo, laid it on thick. Everyone was like, “Mate, you are so full of shit”, I’m like”Yeah, wattabout youse then? Youse are all fulla shit too”.

Anyway, I got sick of their shit, and one day cracked the shits and I sez “Fuck youse all, I’m outa here, youse can all get fucked”. Told ‘em all to get fucked, I did.

After bit, I thought, “Nah, you know what? Fuck ‘em” I sez “Fuck ‘em, I got rights” so I gets back on the internet again, wade in boots and all and pick on the biggest dog in the room and really give him bulk shit, just to show the others what a low dog he is. Some “Marchmallow” cunt he was.

But, get this, this Marchmallow cunt only goes and fucking turns around and re-writes my shit, and fucking makes out I fucking piss on everyone!

Fucking poofta (or German) I reckon. Cunt never gives up, keeps following me around like a bad smell.

It all goes to shit. Everyone thinks he’s fucking grouse! Their all like “Yeah, go on cunt, hit him, hit him”. Bunch of cunts. Fucking pack of feral dogs I tell ya.

Thinks he’s posh and shit, thinks he’s better than me.

Just the fucking same, mate, just the fucking same as me, he is.
( Ken Oath, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 7:38, closed)

'ken oath mate!
Always wanted to do that!
Also - I see what you did there.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 7:57, closed)

A parody of a parody of a parody?!
See what a legend you are RF*? People writing parodies of your parodies of my parodies. All this because of you! And you got all this because of me.

You've never had it so good!

*edit
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 8:53, closed)

Who is RH?

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 10:00, closed)

RH the super hero
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 12:12, closed)

Ken, my man, that is poetry,
without a doubt.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 12:52, closed)

... and yet he's still much much more popular than little bobby shiteholme

(alright alright, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 7:39, closed)

b& much shambo?
Way to miss the point. Mind you seeing which side of the fence you are....

Enjoy some quality time with your new mate I say.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 8:00, closed)

If it helps - I dislike you both in equal measures.
But Rob me old mucker - look up there, up amongst the replies, can you see it mate? Can you really see it? People are responding to you, people are responding to you without bitterness and hatred!

Can't you see I've given what you need? What you've always wished for? What you've always dreamed you could have? I've given you the gift of acceptance. Now use it wisely, for it is a fickle friend - here one moment and then gone! Just like that!

My work here is done.*






(*work may not actually be done)
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 8:17, closed)

Hmm.
I think you just jumped the shark.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 8:47, closed)

the point that's being missed here is that banter and insult are what this site lives on
and functioning adults like Lie-bert can play along with the rest without taking it seriously. it's only a pitiful weepy handful like you and resident loon who simply don't understand and probably never will

tl;dr it's not all about you, dipshit
(alright alright, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 8:19, closed)

^UPSET ONLINE OMG^

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 9:57, closed)

I think patience is required here.
It's just a matter of time before Liemallow truly feels as if he's 'in' with his new gang. The confidence will swell in him, the microflounce all but a memory.

He'll sit at his keyboard. make up some bullshit and post. Then, as he waits for the accolades to come pouring in...

His new besties will rip him to shreds. Again.

*wanders off singing 'circle of life'*
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 8:36, closed)

Please...don't take things like this so seriously.
It's embarrassing.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 8:40, closed)

You're right.
I should post a huge rant at everyone then fuck off for 5 minutes before coming back with a weak attempt at reinvention.

That'll show everyone
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 8:41, closed)

And you are?

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 8:46, closed)

Bored, TBH

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 10:59, closed)

Yet still posting endlessly in this thread?

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 11:01, closed)

That's right.
Best ignore this sort of low-brow rubbish.

Hey here's an idea - why not write a parody of this post. That'll totes put me in my place.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 8:46, closed)

Ewww!
Don't you just hate in when men in their late fifties use terms like 'totes'?

It's just plain wrong.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 8:50, closed)

40
Losing battle sunshine.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 9:55, closed)

cdn2.sbnation.com/imported_assets/174475/distribution-totes.jpg
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 11:57, closed)

I totes want some of those totes!

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:05, closed)

Easily done.
I'll keep it short and to the point too.

"I'm honestly not being upset on the Internet at all. See, doesn't this prove it?"
( Muns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 9:49, closed)

^UPSET ONLINE OMG^

(alright alright, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 9:53, closed)

I've never really understood all this 'upset online' business.
If you're having a disagreement with someone over the phone - do you suddenly shout: 'Ha! Upset on the TELEPHONE!'

He's upset. The medium he's upset on is the internet. Ergo he's upset online. Goes without saying, no?
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 10:16, closed)

I have to agree actually
Although, when it's quite apparent that some ones upset, and they do the internet equivalent of sticking out their bottom lip, crossing their arms and shouting "I'm not upset!" it really is quite amusing.
( Muns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 10:25, closed)

There is that.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 10:38, closed)

Truedat
But I suspect that for every example like the one you stated, there are hundreds more where the person accused of being 'upset online' merely rolls their eyes and plods on. It's for this reason (and the general overuse of 'upset online' accusation as a wind-up exercise) why I think it seems to have lost its way somewhat lately IMO.

*awaits accusations of being upset / angry / taking it too seriously etc*
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 10:58, closed)

When the former happens, it doesn't attract attention.
It's only when someone goes on the defensive, do people start continuously using it as a rib.
( Muns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 11:18, closed)

This not to win.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 9:25, closed)

This to lose?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 10:40, closed)

full of fail

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 12:59, closed)

I have to be honest Alby
When I wrote this I considered the piss-takery.
I wondered whether you'd go the high road and acknowledge your shortcomings or you'd try to continue your 'rise to popularity' by continuing to be a bullying douche.

And here we are.
I don't think any less of you for trying to hang out with the "cool kids". Hey we all want to be one of the cool kids.
As I said in my post - the worm can turn very quickly.
You might want to remember that.
Or not.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 10:28, closed)

What are you blithering on about?
You seem to be confusing this place with the school playground.

There are no 'cool kids', there is no 'in crowd' - there's just a bunch of people wittering away about this and that. Some post amusing stories, some make funny pictures and some prefer to simply be critics and snipe from the sidelines.

If you feel that my rehashes of your 'stories' are terrible bullying, I'm sorry - I didn't realise you were so sensitive.

And if the worm does turn, as you've alluded to, do you know what I will do? I'll flounce off for a few weeks - because no one is making me come back. It isn't real. There are no bullies. There are just a load of oddballs called Badger, Marshmallow, Rory, Shambolic, Brigadier, BraynDead & Fairholme etc.

We don't go to school together. We don't work together. We're certainly not family. We will never meet each other. Get a fucking grip.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 10:50, closed)

You win Alby.
*Slow clap*
You win.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 11:35, closed)

of course he wins
anybody who ever engages you in a conversation 'wins'

because ... and we really can't stress this enough ... you're a fat, emotionally stunted dullard with no grasp of how humour or the internet work

nobody likes you

literally nobody
(alright alright, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 12:07, closed)

Oh. God.
Really.
Nobody?
Literally?

Now I truly am gutted.

There's a gold star with your name on it too shambo.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 12:58, closed)

That's libellous
You might want to rethink that post.
(Eukanuba, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 11:45, closed)

I don't know why you bother with 2.0
It doesn't stop you engaging with anybody and doesn't stop your tediously lame 'stories' being visible to everybody.

Why do you bother? It's beyond futile.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 12:56, closed)

This is possibly your weepiest post to date
Good work, ringo!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:37, closed)

I'm confused.
Who does the "s0ckpuppet" account belong to now?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:00, closed)

UglyMiseryOfyre

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:06, closed)

Are you sure?
He's descended back into a parody of himself, which is usually a sign that someone's knicked his username.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 20:31, closed)

Me.

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 23:20, closed)

I am very upset that the Nightstalker has taken my occasional shtick, of mimicking our biggest Australian member, to such an extreme. But on the flip side, watching him toady up to people has been a joy.
(ringofyre, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 17:42, closed)

My head asplode.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 20:32, closed)

Trying to remember who this is, now.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 20:34, closed)

I'm just going to assume it's Baldmonkey.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 23:52, closed)

BMs, aren't we all

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 2 Oct 2013, 11:10, closed)

Brigadier
Who I'm guessing is shambo when he takes his medication.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 0:02, closed)

Rats! I've been rumbled.

(ringofyre, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 13:00, closed)