THE BIGGEST LIE I EVER HEARD!
What's the biggest lie you’ve ever heard?

When I was at school there was a lad who was officially, full of shit. He told us that his mother was a wrestler, and that his dad OWNED the Metro Centre Shopping Complex. Which even resulted in him taking us to the Metro Centre. On one fine weekend to see if we could get any freebies.

Then there was the time he told us his uncle had a motorbike that could get from London to Alton Towers in fifteen minutes! And that he was DIRECTLY related to Michael Jackson.

So what's the biggest porkie you’ve laid your ears upon?
(themoon, Wed 19 May 2004, 12:27, Reply)

When did you first start Drinking and\or Smoking?
What age?
What year?
What brand of fag\beer?
(Roland Deschain, Wed 19 May 2004, 6:45, Reply)

funniest sex stories
detail for us your funniest sexual exploits!
( ChaosTime The Fucking Moon Lord, Wed 19 May 2004, 5:35, Reply)

How do you opress your peasants?
As a lad growing up in Prussia, my father would tell me to fetch a servant's rug-beating stick, and proceeded forthwith to gather one of our bounded serfs and affix him to a fence-post. We would beat him quite thoroughly, or until he was wholly black or blue in colour.

Afterwards we celebrated the beating with courgettes and fairy cakes. We were much admired by our peasantry.
(TheJollyEarl, Tue 18 May 2004, 21:55, Reply)

nicknames
What are the funniest nicknames you have for people, things, or places.

I have none, so i want yours.

except beadlehands for anyone who is shit at catching, throwing, having hands the same size, etc etc...
(Rushy, Tue 18 May 2004, 16:55, Reply)

What's the best advice you've ever been given?
I was once told the best drink in the world is Tia Maria and fresh Orange about four years ago. Now I rarely spend a night out without my last drink being said Orange Smartie-tasting loveliness.

That, and cous cous is officially the greatest alcohol absorber in the world.
(Ally_Baby, Tue 18 May 2004, 16:42, Reply)

Sexy Play Things
Have you ever found some of your parents "toys" accidently?
( Mercifull www.woo-yay.net, Tue 18 May 2004, 0:54, Reply)

What is the worst Birthday/chirstmas/other present you have
and what TERRIBLE thing did you end up doing with it?
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Mon 17 May 2004, 19:40, Reply)

Sex education
Thats it really, did your parents tell you fibs about where babies came from, did your friend tell you that you could get pregnent from getting kissed and did babies really come out of your belly button.

I was a clever kid and knew the truth.
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Mon 17 May 2004, 16:56, Reply)

Errhem...
Heres an idea - whats the worst excuse you have ever heard from your parents when accidentaly haven walked in on them...
(G.Eusebio ...Fentruk from the long past..., Sun 16 May 2004, 21:37, Reply)

What should we ask for a question of a week?
Most embarrassing/funny ect place you used the bathroom.

After a late night drinking i shit my pants in the middle of class. I had to wash thim out in the can and wear them home. Fucking embarrassing
(Turtle56, Sun 16 May 2004, 17:19, Reply)

The most humorously depressing fact about yourself.
Like sometimes, i half expect my hands to smell of alcohol and/or a slight hint of urine.
( Laughing Boy, Fri 14 May 2004, 21:08, Reply)

Food
The weirdest concoction you've made in the kitchen. My sister made a chocolate pizza in Food technology with sweetcorn, tuna, chicken, ham and mini sausages. I ate it (except fro sweetcorn, i hate sweetcorn)
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Fri 14 May 2004, 14:49, Reply)

Dating disasters
What's the worst date you've ever been on?
(Fat Bear is adjusting your breasts on, Fri 14 May 2004, 10:59, Reply)

Crazy
I watched a man throwing chips one by one into the road, then dangerously weaving into traffic to eat them...

The woman who licks trees, the tramp who tries to light a cigarette with his nob - who are the mad bastards you've come across?
( moonjam, Thu 13 May 2004, 23:19, Reply)

Wierdest place you've had sex..
Always brings out the true sordidness in people.. methinks!
(fishy_smell, Thu 13 May 2004, 22:18, Reply)

Strangest thing
That ever made use of a USB port?
(askham, Thu 13 May 2004, 18:08, Reply)

Smells
Ever had a smell on the end of your finger and didn't know where it came from?
(Fillostein, Thu 13 May 2004, 14:12, Reply)

Best Puns Ever
meh
( The Lurker Plenty One, Thu 13 May 2004, 12:53, Reply)

what did your grandad do
during the war?
(Anger...Pain...Fear...Aggression...Watercolours?, Thu 13 May 2004, 11:49, Reply)

What could you get into the Guinness Book of Records for?
I swear I had the biggest spot under my armpit about 9 years back. I should have got it officially measured before a squeezed the bastard.
(nospoon The Olympigs would have been more entertaining., Wed 12 May 2004, 21:39, Reply)

Booze/Drugs/Sex
Greatest tales of the above.
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Wed 12 May 2004, 15:31, Reply)

Also
Best practical joke you have played on someone. Or maybe one which backfired the most.
(Tallywhacker the aussie spacker, Wed 12 May 2004, 14:22, Reply)

Best / Worst / Most Desparate
Forms of procrastination. Or if you are too lazy for that just pure old time wasting.

meh
( The Lurker Plenty One, Wed 12 May 2004, 1:56, Reply)

Several
Most obviously made up question of the week answer.

Funniest experience in an internet chatroom.

Worst idea for a paintmash you've ever had.

Best and Worst pick up lines.
(Arakon, Tue 11 May 2004, 21:04, Reply)

Unusual uses for condoms...
Dunno about you folks but I can come up with a few right now...

1. Waterproofing anally stored drugs
2. Storing small puppies/kittens on cross-African river swims
3. Boiled egg hangers for the fridge
4. Used teabag stores
5. Meringue egg white freezer packs
6. Interestingly shaped ice "cube" makers

...

Anyone else?
(rlok, Tue 11 May 2004, 18:12, Reply)

The Stupidest thing you've ever heard?
Just the most stupid thing you've ever heard.
(Nolanistic, Tue 11 May 2004, 12:58, Reply)

How about
best revenge stories?

Why you were forced to exact terrible wrath and how you went about it.
(Tallywhacker the aussie spacker, Tue 11 May 2004, 12:25, Reply)

Pet Peeves
Not about hating the cranberry-ing dog.

When there's just that little thing that people do that make you see the misty red.

Silly small insignificant feats of behavior / design that are annoying as fuck.


meh
( The Lurker Plenty One, Tue 11 May 2004, 11:49, Reply)

Question of the week, top answer:
How do you get your inspiration when everythings already been done?

1) Google
2) Walking down the street
3) Thinking really hard ... hmmmm
4) Substances (beer, liquor, etc)
( Don~Keyotey, Tue 11 May 2004, 3:38, Reply)