Thought it was your fault when it was someone elses?
Tell us your worst ever experience that you thought your were to blame for, and then tell us who's fault it actually was!

Name and shame folks!
Name and shame!
( thelastryan working on a technicality, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Possible explanations for how things work.
This would be more of a creative writing and humor QOTW. What are your thoughts concerning how different things work, how theories were discovered, where lost items go, where people got ideas for inventions, or any other thing that needs a good explanation.

For example, my explanation of how the practice of curing hiccups by using digital rectal massage cures hiccups (semi-pearoast from OT):
Perhaps at some point in having hiccups someone thought to themselves, "You know, I could really go for a finger up my bum right about now." Was this someone who was just so in need of sexy time they couldn't even wait for their hiccups to end?

Or perhaps someone so desparate for the end of their hiccups that they were trying everything they could think of. "Let's see, tickle between my toes. No, hiccups still present. How about lick my knees. Nope, still hiccupping. Hmmm...finger up the bum..... Eureka!"



Tell us your curious explanations and let us refute or agree with them.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sun 4 Jan 2009, 3:18, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Things we do to fit in
When I was fifteen, while hanging out with my brother and his mates for the first time, I curled up in a Budgens trolley while someone pushed it through the supermarket doors to nick vodka and Benny Hedgehogs.

What have you done to fit in?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 21:56, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Topics on punching in the face.
..and Mr. T.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 31 Dec 2008, 17:20, Reply)

So a friend was coming over to stay
the day after we got back from Christmas.
Getting the duvet out of the cupboard alerted me to the fact that my hot water tank was leaking.
We were able to get it fixed that night.

Had he not been coming to stay I wouldn't have noticed until the house had been flooded by a burst tank.

What coincidences have prevented disaster with you?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Dec 2008, 14:40, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

The one that got away
Possible suggestion for mid-February QOTW. Thanks to the interweb, it’s much easier to ‘bump into’ an old flame and it’s always pleasing, yet strangely galling, to see them happy, fulfilled, married to minor aristocracy and living in a mansion with their own steam train in the grounds. Or something. If only they had stuck with you, or if only you had plucked up the courage to ever speak to them, it could have all been so different. Who was the one that got away, or was it you? (This seemed a cute idea in my head, but actually comes over a bit sinister).
(Macnabbs may contain traces of exaggeration on, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 11:46, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Weird schemes
This would be a good one. What insane/eccentric/erratic plans have you been party to in the past, and did they work?

I've come up with a few in my time (most of which didn't work or ended up causing me considerable pain) - I'm currently working on a plan to modify my extremely large power kite into a paraglider, to be flown at low level on wrist straps. This may also end up involving skis.
( MatJ LOOK, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 3:35, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

misconceptions
what do people think about you that couldn't be less true? people seem to think that I listen to classical music, for example. that is as far from right as you can get. stuff I listen to includes AC/DC, the cult, the mission, the alarm, etc.
(venort apparently exists, Sun 28 Dec 2008, 8:42, Reply)

I just don't understand the attraction...
Ricky Gervais. Lesbian pr0n. Going to the most crowded bar in town on a night out, purely because it's crowded. All these things seem to be popular with most of the rest of the human race, but I just can't work out why...

What leaves you cold just as much as it turns everyone else on?
(Smaug rocked out with his cock out on:, Sat 27 Dec 2008, 17:23, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

dreams
What is the craziest/best/stupidest/etc dream you ever had (providing you can remember...)

other than the dream about rodents acting out LOTR (as mentioned on the 'off topic' post, I have a thing for encountering band members in my dreams, ill give a few examples...

one time I dreamt I met Dave Grohl, and for some reason he was in hospital in a full body cast for some reason, I got his autograph though..
another time I dreamt I talked to Bruce Dickinson on the phone, and he was a right nasty piece of work..

I wanna hear some dreamage...you b3tards
(Lord Chode, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:01, Reply)

Everybody loves a happy ending...

Come on, it's Christmas! Let's hear stories that have a happy ending!

It could be about anything - for instance, some cockwad at work was a total dick to me recently...and guess who later found themselves in the toilet cubicle next to mine with no bog roll...begging me to help them out?

Spread the love with tales about how everything has turned out alright in the end.

We could all do with some cheering up.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:30, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

school
most people think its the best days of your life, and the time that holds the most memories, lets share our stories b3tards..

When I went to school (1998-2003), there was a girl who looked a guy, and had a psychotic hatred for 'Nintendo' or anything involving the 'N' word, and went on a rampage...
(Lord Chode, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 20:06, Reply)

siblings
most of us will be guilty of conning our younger siblings in someway or another, the classic being convincing them that 2 pennies were worth more than a pound simply because you get 2 coins!
what have you conned you younger siblings (or younger anyone really) into doing.

p.s. sorry little bro!
(suboftheday, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 19:12, Reply)

Homeless
Nights spent sleeping rough, waking up in the gutter, chatting to tramps, everything about homelessness :)
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 15:17, Reply)

How gay are you?
Tell us about the moments when you've questioned your sexual orientation - whichever way it turned out! When did someone give you unexpected stirrings 'down there'?
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 16:48, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What was your best ever day?
What was your best ever day, and why was it so special?

From "The day I got my reply on the first page on QOTW" to "the day I came to my senses and escaped the situation which would otherwise have killed me."

For me, a soon-to-be-divorced dad-of-four who never ever wanted to get married, one of the best days of my life was my wedding day.

Surrounded by friends and family, committing to spending the rest of my life with the woman who'd turned that same life upside down when we'd first met, from start to finish it was a superb day.

I felt invincible. I felt confident. I felt on top of the world. A totally untouchable feeling from the moment I woke up the morning of the wedding day, to the moment I woke up in the arms of my wife the next day.

In fact, on reflection, it's no wonder the marriage failed. It was never going to live up to how great it was that very first day.
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Sun 21 Dec 2008, 12:16, Reply)

the things we do for love
the things we've done that, in hindsight, were ridiculous.
(Her Ghost zomegle.com, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:50, Reply)

I took three years of Spanish before they changed the teacher
The new guy was a complete airhead, and forced us to watch "Las Ketchup" on repeat, thinking this was suitable philological education. Now I'm a year and a half into Russian, and am leaving for Ukraine in a week.

Do you speak any other languages? Did you ever give up learning a new one, if so, why? Have you had any funny/embarrassing exchanges while attempting to speak to a native speaker?
( AgentMuu hentai coordination, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 1:21, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Most Embarrassing moment.....
I was at Butlins with my family several years ago. I took my sister and some friends swimming when i happened on the rapids, my foot got stuck in a grate and the lifeguards quickly came to my rescue. They hoiked me out the pool to great relief, only for me to look on and see my shorts keep going round the rapids, about 200 people saw me starkers and cheered. A life guard took off his shirt and handed it to me to cover my privates. For the rest of my stay people giggled when they saw me! what is your most embarassing moment?
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Sun 21 Dec 2008, 1:18, Reply)

Daydreams
Im pretty sure we had a wierd dreams QOTW - but what does your mind latch onto during those idle minutes/hours during the day?

For the last few weeks, I have been daydreaming about being the last person on earth. Waking one day to find mankind wiped out by plague/radiation/aliens and Im the only survivor. I have got all the details planned out regarding food, water, electricity etc... think "I am Legend", but without the zombies.
Ive got to the point where each morning I suffer a tiny pang of disappointment when I realise everyone is still here.


Please try to avoid the inevitable sex fantasies.....27 pages of people saying "boobies" wont make for interesting reading.
(dave likes cheese, Sat 20 Dec 2008, 16:32, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Ive got the ....... real bad
Got the blues? the shits? the horn? the shakes? the fear?

What you got, and why?
(dave likes cheese, Sat 20 Dec 2008, 16:27, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Worst Party
I was once invited to a party by a young lady (I was a young man at the time so that;s alright then) - when I got there I realised that her father was an enthusiastic party goer...to the point where he was so drunk that he kept trying to dance.

Except he couldn't because he was so enebriated...and kept falling over and each time he did this, he sprang up as he thought someone had flattened him and tried to punch the nearest bloke to him...

He did this a lot...

What is the worst party you've ever been to then? Mmmm?
( JockyMcSporan has a pointy head but no pointy chin..., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 16:31, Reply)

Just.Answer.The.Question.Please.
In work recently, I asked a manager a fairly harmless question , not particularly contentious ( unusually for me ) ... 5 minutes of 'I can speak like this all day if I have to' ramble later, I was none the wiser.

If you were guaranteed the TRUTH, what question would you ask? To who(m?)? and Why?

(yeah, yeah , I needed 3 questions to ask that - I know )
(d2d2t, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 23:39, Reply)

Works Xmas Parties
We have our annual works christmas do tomorrow night and already it's like working in a fucking play pen. Don't get me wrong I appreciate the gesture from management throwing us a party, black tie dinner etc and free accomodation but on a Friday! sweet jesus I have real friends!!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 17:21, Reply)

press
The local newspapers are rife with inconsequential stories about retiring dinner ladies, residents in old-people's homes celebrating their 102nd birthday and put it down to a bottle of Guinness a day and a cigar, or even story about a jumble sale that raised £23.87 for charity.

What's the most banal story you've seen in your local paper? Extra points if the story isn't even news. Even extra points if you can post a link to it from the paper's website.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 17:15, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Stop the current one when it gets to 666 posts?

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 20:38, Reply)

words cannot describe...
the frustration when having held in a 'massive poo' for hours only to find its just a big fart.
what else can words not describe?
(suboftheday, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 20:01, Reply)

Body of an angel, mind of a fruit loop.
Two girls I've been out with have been sectioned, one other accused me of stalking her from 200 miles away and hitting her because her new boyfriend hit her.

Tell us about your mad ex's and how they've screwed with your sanity.
(Sickpup, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 16:53, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

That Smarts...
Ouch! I trapped my fingernail in the hinge of a deck chair when I was a youngster. The quick, jerky reaction of pulling my hand away resulted in me losing my nail, bleeding lots and crying like a girl.

What have you done to hurt yourself in a stupid and/or comical way?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:44, 1 reply, 16 years ago)