Hangover hell
I used to be able to drink for Britain and wake up bright as a button, nowadays (i.e. today) it's no longer the case.
Hangovers have led to a variety of embarassing brain dead and/or physical errors, we've heard all your drunk stories, lets hear what happened after the boozing stopped.
A special prize will be awarded for the most amusing story not involving sick or shit.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Food-related fuck ups
Did you manage to burn the water? Or maybe you poisoned the in-laws (might not be deemed a fuckup that one...).

Tell us your best and worst food-related yarns.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:24, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Whats the most decadant you have ever been?
Apart from sitting on a balcony with a coissant?

We sat in bed one evening eathing a dominos pizza and washed it down with a 25 quid bottle of champers.
(Gru being trolled since 1998, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:00, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Cock Story
I once was getting jiggy with an ex, when we realised the only condoms we had were flavoured ones. After I put one on and we looked down, the mood was destroyed by our laughter - I had put on an apple flavoured one, which is green. Needless to say, my throbbing member looked like the Incredible Hulk's dick.

We've had boobs stories, lets hear about your amusing cock related tales of mirth. (RE: Not another wanking disaster story)
(Brighton RAWK at the tone, the time will be:, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:35, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Cooking
Last week I managed to set my flat on fire while trying to boil some water. What mishaps have you had in the kitchen?
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 0:32, Reply)

The games we used to play
I don't mean computer games.
The stuff we used to HAVE TO make up. I was always Velma with my brothers in our Scooby-doo adventures from the Mystery machine (the bottom of the stairs) and we would make communication devices for our star-trek missions from mums pop up jewellery boxes with hand drawn number pads inside.
Never mind the 'You have to die from a chosen weapon game'.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 22:51, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Inspired by /talk's increasingly amusing qotw incursions.
Things that have upset you on the internet.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 7:43, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Eccentrics
Weve all probably experienced them in our day to day life meanderings.
We may even be one of them.
From the guy who sits on the pavement outside the library who tries to grab your hand and order you to take out anything by Hemingway or die ignorant, to the old lady at the end of your street who always wears a big straw hat covered in fake flowers all year round.
Tell your tales of eccentics you have known
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 2:55, Reply)

This sporting life
Whether you just enjoy a kick around with mates in the park of a weekend, play in a league of some sort, or haven't participated in sports since forced to in school, what are some of your more memorable/hilarious/painful sporting moments?
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 1:37, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

The Shittest job you have ever had
I have to confess, I've had some shitty jobs in my time, whether it be guarding machinery on the Newbury by-pass (nobody ever tried to nick anything) Or working for 'One flew over the cuckoos nest' style Hitlers. Regale us with your stories about the worst places you have ever worked. Bindun? Couldn't be bothered to look.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Group therapy,
Because the best bits on 'That's Life' was not the talking dogs or willy-shaped carrots but the bits about children with cancer.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 13:06, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Being BAD
Most of us will have done bad stuff - whether through being unhappy, being drunk, being stupid or just being a genuine arsehole. So what's your story of being bad?
(McChinaman banned, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 2:38, Reply)

"Gnah', General public"
How about a question about people dealing with the general public as a whole?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 13:14, Reply)

Bread.
There was a lot of moaning about the most recent QOTW. I think it's time to prove that there is no such thing as a bad question and we can get good answers from anything (except possibly Mix Tapes). So, what has happened to you involving bread?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 14:06, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I didn't mean it like that!
I was just walking down the street in central London and happend to walk past a restaurant window. The restaurat was packed and closest to the window was a family of 6. As i walked past i put a cigarett in my mouth and the smallest member of the family, a boy of 3 or 4, saw me do this and pursed his lips and blew a rasberry at me. I pulled the cigarette from my mouth and pursed my lips, as if whistling, and blew back at him as as a mark of respect at what a cheeky little chap he was.

I then looked up to see the remainder of the family staring back at me and immdediately realised that they thought that this man in a suit had just been blowing thier child a kiss through the window...

.. share your stories of when you wanted to point out "I didn't mean it like that"
( lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 17:17, Reply)

personal injuries and the fun side of tablets
i fractured* my right talus nearly 20 years ago and since then have enjoyed a shed load of MASSIEEEEVE DRUGS** and all for free.
due to the side effects and generally arseing about with doses and alcohol.
i have seen things either real or imagined that mostly made me happy and care free or scared the shit out of me and had me hiding from thin americans*** and other mythological creatures

*for the terminally stupid or Americans broken
** thank god for the NHS and there never ending supply of free drugs
***may or may not exist
no honda accords have been used in this article even our dear old NHS will not stoop that low
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 10:32, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Drunk Parents
When I was little, every sunday afternoon my dad would return home from the working men's club and start doing the 'telly dance'. This consisted of him swaying drunkenly in front of the TV (the rest of us were trying to watch the Eastenders omnibus), whilst eagerly telling us about how he nearly bought a jack russell terrier off a gypsy for a fiver, or such like.

What do your parents get up to when they're drunk?
( NotDavidBailey isn't all that sure that he is?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Videogames
When I was much younger, I was working on a driving game for the PSOne. As a result of end-of-project crunch I was regularly driving home along dark country roads at about 3am after finally finishing work, whilst sleep deprived after yet another day of manipulating pretend futuristic vehicles around a circuit at speeds in excess of 300 KPH.

Driving in this bizarre mental state was not in the slightest bit safe, and I can now attest to the fact that there are significant handling differences between made-up cars and a knackered Metro. A Metro can't drive on walls, for example, though I did come perilously close to forgetting this on one occasion.

My best mate once claimed to have dreamt he was a Quake server. Not playing Quake, mind, but being the server. Spawning power-ups for the other players and keeping score. I've dreamed Bejewelled on more than one occasion.

How have videogames affected you?

P.S. Also, I almost punched aforementioned mate in the face once over a game of Soul Blade. But in my defence, he was unfairly abusing the Ring Out mechanic.
(kithkill, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:57, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Health and Safety nightmares
I am sure that we have all done think things that would give the safety reps, at our places of employ, absolute nightmares.

What have you done that breached the rules to give the "elfins ayftee gone mad" brigade something to chew on?

I actually used a set of three steps to reach a high shelf - I told them that I'd been on the course but, if I was totally honest, I didn't even know there was a course. The steps, which were all of 18 inches high had their safety certificate firmly attached, though - so I knew I'd be alright.
(karnuvap, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 20:11, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Two Thousand and Eleven.
We've had a few months of it now. What interesting things have happened already this year? What would you rather forget? Can be any topic but it has to have taken place since the new year.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Vomit stories
I worked for a woman once who went out on a business lunch. Unfortunately she got very, very drunk and so took at taxi back to the office with her colleague. She felt a really sick on the journey and wasn't sure what to do.

So she pulled the neck of her shirt out...
Threw up inside her shirt...
Carried on as normal...

She was so drunk she thought that her colleague hadn't noticed.

Tell is your fav throw up story.
( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Giving Birth
It is without doubt, one of the most disgusting fucking sights i have ever witnessed.

What are your stories, whether it be a giving birth to a baby, giving birth to a business that turned into a bastard child or shelling a fantastically large shit!
(Pectacular Almost spectacular...but somethings missing!, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 14:27, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

The Elderly
The Elderly are without a doubt my favourite animal. I'd happily watch a six part BBC documentary about them and their odd little habits, but alas, they won't open their doors to strangers in case the knife crime they've heard so much about barges right into their living rooms. Instead, tell us about some of the old folk that you've met.
(I'm a schmuck, i did a schmucky thing. is unlurking thanks to unemployment, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 14:08, Reply)

What is the most disgusting gross thing you ever did?
I was sitting on the bog, pondering my current project at work, deep in thought I absently minded wiped my nose with a tissue. Not normally a problem except that I had only a few moments ago used this tissue at the other end...

"Wow this tissue really stinks" I thought... "OH GOD GAAAH NOOO!" I thought almost immediately after.

Shitty nose.

What bowel-wrenching retch-worthy disgusting gross things have you done or had done unto you?

S
( simbosan Hello you cunt, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 7:41, 6 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You find yourself in a seemingly hopeless embarrassing situation
What or who came to your rescue? Or did you just walk away and hope no-one mentions it?
(Appleseed Is getting married 24/05/2014. All invited., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 23:19, Reply)

Moments of realisation
When has it dawned on you that everything has just gone spectacularly wrong?
( MatJ LOOK, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Very public acts of stupidity
I've just been out to the shops and as I came down a road, there was a car abandoned in the middle of a junction causing big tailbacks.

The reason for the abandoned car? Some muppet had parked illegally and been clamped but decided to try and drive off WITH THE WHEEL CLAMP STILL ATTACHED to the wheel.

It didn't work, the whole clamp just got rammed into the wheel arch.

What acts of gross stupidity have you done in public for all to laugh at?
( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Huzzah
I'm drunk and I may not be able to spell.

How are you?
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 23:59, Reply)

The Arts
I once got invited to a friend's book launch, hosted by a publisher of some repute. Having ruthlessly exploited the free bar and introduced some literati to flaming sambucas, I generally slung very graphic language about the place before getting both myself and the author kicked out by doormen.

Books, galleries, theatre … tell us of your experiences in the world of high art.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)