Engrish Appriciation
Warning sign I found on a ferry in Japan: "Stop the idling!"

Have you ever seen any strange signs or weird warnings in a foreign country?
(Kitsune-chan I'm not a bunny I'm a grownup girl, Thu 17 Feb 2005, 4:36, Reply)

I
was once caught in a "delicate position" on a picnic table with a young lady by the member of a forestry commision 60 foot from his house.

Where have you been caught "In flagrante delicto"?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Thu 17 Feb 2005, 1:38, Reply)

What's
the best thing you've had for free/next to free?

About 4 years ago, I had some double glazing done. It involved a new front door and porch, new barge boards and fascias, and two new windows. I was asked to pay after the work was done, and I asked them to send me a bill.

Never had one - £2500 quids worth!

Also rang up a specialist camera lens company complaining about their lenses (we fucked the cleaning of them), and got a £3500 replacement for nowt.

Tell me more about your freebies.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Thu 17 Feb 2005, 1:32, Reply)

What
would be the most pointless QOTW?

How to pronounce kilometre?
What did you find in you belly button this morning?
Is 4 greater than 3?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Thu 17 Feb 2005, 1:25, Reply)

Of
a luchtime our small sub-section 12) of a sub-section (30) of a sub-section (900) of a large organsation (45000) get together, and have a bit of a chat. However, there are about 3 of them that talk incessantly about golf, while the rest look on bemused by the rules, multitude of ways of playing, etc.
What is your most pointless pastime/hobby?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Thu 17 Feb 2005, 1:14, Reply)

Ever destroyed company property?
I punched the screen of my work lap top in a moment of childish frustration and to my surprise the bloody thing did a "virtual" shatter and was rendered useless (though more interesting to look at than the crap I was churning out on it). My excuse - something heavy dropped on it - I was never asked for the details.

What piece of company property have you "inadvertantly" destroyed and what flimsy explaination was provided as to how it happened?
(monaxle Ban the Mindreaders, Wed 16 Feb 2005, 18:51, Reply)

or...
How desperate have you been to get into a club?
One of my mates once wore his black socks over his white trainers in what seemed like a vain attempt at getting in but actually did get in.
(tumshee, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 21:15, Reply)

hungover and cringing...
How about the worst cringes that you've had as a direct result of kicking the arse out of drink and/or drugs?
(tumshee, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 21:11, Reply)

sleeping
what events have you accidentally slept through? i myself slept through most of 1987...
(dawa, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 8:11, Reply)

who have you
killed and buried under 4 feet of concrete?
( Tu9 01100011011101010110111001110100, Mon 14 Feb 2005, 23:48, Reply)

your dreams and aspirations...
and how you never actually achieved them?
(Mildred is a slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler, Mon 14 Feb 2005, 13:09, Reply)

What have you stolen?
...
(Mildred is a slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler, Mon 14 Feb 2005, 13:08, Reply)

Busted!
Caught red handed in the act! (deviant/criminal/sexual...)
(flash, Mon 14 Feb 2005, 4:51, Reply)

Bad Service
Bad service anywhere..acceptable..unacceptable. What do you do when you're spending your hard earned money and getting CRAP in return.
(katie36_99, Sun 13 Feb 2005, 7:36, Reply)

Telemarketers
Oh those annoying people that seem to call you at the worse times..what do you say to them...besides hang up?
(katie36_99, Sun 13 Feb 2005, 7:34, Reply)

People that Irritate You...
Whether it be on the road..or in the grocery store...tell us what irritates the crap out of you!!
(katie36_99, Sun 13 Feb 2005, 7:31, Reply)

Stupid Bosses...
...Although this would probably turn into a massive pressure release as all of us that work in a Scott Adams esqe Dilbert world colectively scream 'aargh' and vent our fury on B3TA. And let's face it each one of us could probably fill about 30 pages of stupid boss anecdotes... Could be a giggle though.
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Sat 12 Feb 2005, 15:45, Reply)

The Biggest Lie You've Ever Told (and gotten away with)
or

Secret Confessions of B3tans

or

How To Cheat At Life (shortcuts which make life a little easier) - because life is hard and I'm sure some people cheat a bit.
(b3tasux, Fri 11 Feb 2005, 21:46, Reply)

have you every inadvertantly started a fight?
well, have you?

that or great ways to wind up people with authority. i know this guy who got thrown of his woodwork course because he shoved a big hammer down his pants and when his tutor asked him what it was he replied, "it's the way your mum likes it"
(Le mango, Fri 11 Feb 2005, 15:48, Reply)

Best heckles
The MC at my local comedy club was having technical problems and asked the audience, "What am I doing wrong with this mic.?" My mate shouted, "Talking into it!"

What are the best things you've shouted at struggling stand up comics?
(DoctorJ last upset some twat who doesn't like swearing on, Thu 10 Feb 2005, 23:01, Reply)

Could you spare a few minutes?
A mate and I once spent about ten minutes eagerly questioning a woman who'd stopped us in the street to ask our opinions about a possible football stadium in Guildford. We looked at the plans, asked about traffic levels and safety, and generally took great interest. When we were finally bored and she asked if we would sign her petition, we said we didn't live in the area and buggered off.

Tell us about times when you got your own back on those clipboard-clutching people who stop you on the high street.
(DoctorJ last upset some twat who doesn't like swearing on, Thu 10 Feb 2005, 22:57, Reply)

Chuggers
I signed up to give £6.50 a month to Sense International (still not quite sure what they do) because some bloke came knocking at the front door. He smelled a bit strange, and before I knew it he was in the kitchen offering me a pen to sign the form. My dinner was sitting, clearly visible, on the sofa, but he still stayed for ages. Have you been charity mugged? Tell us all about it...
(DoctorJ last upset some twat who doesn't like swearing on, Thu 10 Feb 2005, 22:52, Reply)

I think worst/best/funniest encounters with drugs.
Knowing all you lot, we'd get 70+ pages of them.
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 10 Feb 2005, 16:37, Reply)

A subject dear to our hearts
Best 'your mum' calls. I know you've all got loads.
(Tallywhacker the aussie spacker, Thu 10 Feb 2005, 10:42, Reply)

Second Chances
(This is from joining too late for "Misheard Lyics")

You can respond to a closed QotW question or several QotWs under a theme like "Pain" or "Evesdropping," but only for a very limited time (example: 1 day per question or 1 week per group of questions)
(Kitsune-chan I'm not a bunny I'm a grownup girl, Thu 10 Feb 2005, 7:16, Reply)

The alternative cookbook...
What's the weirdest thing you've actually prepared and eaten, for a dare, or just because "it seemed like a good idea at the time.."

Point to note: vodka, pineapple yoghurt and sweetcorn relish (an afterthought) do not go nice together on cornflakes.
( MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Tue 8 Feb 2005, 18:46, Reply)

Planes
Anyone got any plane horror stories? My worst was a trip (business class) to the US courtesy of my company. 2 passengers had heart attacks and 2 others had some sort of heart problem. They put all 4 in business class so they could lie down. Couldnt see the tarmac at JFK for ambulances! Completely put me off my complimentary free booze too.

Anyone else got bizarre or interesting plane related stories?
(anthorin, Mon 7 Feb 2005, 8:19, Reply)

Bees
What is your most amusing apiary-related anecdote?
( When the internet was all fields, Sun 6 Feb 2005, 9:51, Reply)

Lucky escapes
ever dropped a serious bollock from orbit at work or socially and managed to blag your way out?

Got a few that spring to mind right away
(boltneck sacrificed a smurf to Cthulhu on, Sun 6 Feb 2005, 2:53, Reply)

ghost stories
spookiest stories, something like that
( shoddyback nice 2 B important, but more important 2 B nice, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 0:53, Reply)