Not PC but oh so funny!!
The classic 'She had a fanny like Terry Wait's allotment' always raises a smile, bless you profannisaurus!

Any charva phrase heard on the streets is always fun.

'Shut your gish' (shut your mouth)

'Ya Deein me Nappa in' (You're doing my head in)

classics. bless them kids
(kendoddsdadsdogsdead, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:43, Reply)

Politically wrong, but...
Spazmo

has made it back into common language in Manc. Awesome. 80's kids playground insults are coming back, I tell you. "Idiot Face" is utterly offensive at the moment, and "Poo Head" is particularly imaginitive.
(jimbo_smiff, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:40, Reply)

...as in
"What the Donald is going on?"
YES, I use that one too!
(doctor sideburns, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:35, Reply)

404
From the http error code, meaning an idiot.
( Ravenous bug-blatter beast, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:35, Reply)

Rhyming slang...
the best examples are:
the Brad pitt,
a johnny Cash
and my personal favorite, the daffy/donald duck!
Any ideas what they refer to?
(noip, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:34, Reply)

Slangtastic!
My housemate has two fine phrases for use regarding munters...

1 - She/He's got a face like a blind cobbler's thumb.
2 - She/He's got a face like a smashed crab.

Hehehehehe :)

Oh, and can people please...for the love of god...STOP saying things like 'let's take that conversation offline', 'let's think sideways on that issue', 'let's actively recognize and encourage our USP's' and any one a million other similar pieces of derivative business-twunt nonsensical gibberish...i'm begging you stop it!...it makes my head hurt :)
( The Reverend Lord Lizard, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:31, Reply)

An oldie (but goodie)...
Men's Tits (to describe something useless)

... as much use as:
a one legged man at an arse-kicking party.
a chocolate tea-pot / fire-guard.
a deck-chair attendant on the Titanic.
an ash-tray on a motorbike.
men's tits.
(minimalist ..., Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:26, Reply)

Worst Insult Ever
Has to be.....

Shit Lips

Once overhead a chav-girl refering to someone on the end of her mobile as 'shit lips' and have been using it ever since.

Matblack
(Matblack, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:22, Reply)

Ugly Birds
My first post ever!

Following on from Stealth Moose, I am partial to LRF or Low Resolution Fox for a minger that looks good from a distance.

Matblack
(Matblack, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:20, Reply)

slang...
surfing the red tide - having sex whilst a woman is on her period.
caught red handed - doing something similar..
going to the dark side - up her bum no harm done!
lured her home with a trail of smarties, what we say if one of our group of mates manages to pull an attractive younger (say 17/18) year old.
Nob rot- a great expletive
and another brill insult courtesy of Liam 'King Monkey' Gallagher.. Cuntybollocks!! oxymoronic genius!
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:16, Reply)

ugly birds
Credit for this goes to my buddy Kev, who has a rather precise insult - you'll all know the situation, - walking down the street with your mates, you see a rather fit bird in the distance and say phwoooarrr etc, then as she gets closer, she is in fact a proper grotbag and you're all a bit embarrassed at saying 'I would'etc. This particular type of trick-of-the-light, optical illusion minger can be referred to as a 'Stealth Moose'
(jeff-bobbins, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:15, Reply)

Blasphemers....
Be contumacious with your blaspheming and say "Cheese 'n Rice" instead of "Jesus Christ"!
(Crazyshark, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 13:13, Reply)

Midlands Slang
BIRMINGHAM(BRUMMAGEM) SCREWDRIVER - used to refer to a large lump hammer.
BRAINS OF A ROCKING HORSE - meaning stupid e.g. He/She/It has the brains of a rocking horse.
HAVING YOUR EARS LOWERED/COUNTY CROP - Hair cut.

Another excellent term is one used by one of my Geography teachers at school. Describing anyone generally misbehaving "pack it in you little SCROTES".

MORE TO FOLLOW AS I REMEMBER IT.

Roger's Profanisaurus from Viz is an excellent book and contains more slang than you can shake a big slang stick at.
(Letharge, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 12:56, Reply)

Savages
is the name given to the local baseball cap wearing scallies, that think they are on the south side of Compton. Gangly pie headed clones, that think 50 Cent is the new Beatles.
Neuter the parents!!!!!
(Barx, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 12:23, Reply)

More expressions of delight
"Bonus!" or "value!" when unexpectedly potting a pool ball or similar achievement.
(DoctorJ last upset some twat who doesn't like swearing on, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 12:06, Reply)

OH MY
I'm from stockton! :o
( Delete Me, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 12:00, Reply)

My brother always used to say
"The con-men are out and about in force" when ever we used to be down the market and there was some pikey selling wrapping-paper/bic lighters/Hi-Karate/deely boppers.

In school we used to throw pennies across the yard and shout "Scramble"; The generousity was a sham though - anyone who actually went and picked up the coppers would be labelled a 'chiller' and frozen out of popular playground circles.

Chewing gum was "Chuddie" (not chewie you southern ponces),and trousers were 'duds'. 'gegs' were spectacles and 'being from Bowesfield'' was something most people would translate as 'council' or 'chav'.

Imagine the misfortune of being in a playground and being labelled a geggy chiller twat from bowsy by a casual (boy in a fred perry 'uniform' jumper and farah duds), masticating chuddie.

Oh happy days of growing up in Stockton-on-Tees...

My current fave is "council face-lift" meaning those gelled top-knots like that chav girl from 'Ackney in Jamie's kitchen.
( LittlePixel, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 11:50, Reply)

Peter Andre = Celebrity
Weird, huh?
( pxyzyzygy, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 11:35, Reply)

oh yes:
"top arse"= breasts.
( manwithunderpantsonhead older than a Time Lord, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 11:28, Reply)

a couple:
"Riding a white horse"= sitting on the toilet.

"Earmuffs"= bra (from an episode of Only Fools and Horses in which Del, watching a porn video, said "Right, she's got her earmuffs off).

"Edible"= attractive (a long story. My (desperate, womanising) housemate had a female friend staying over, who he clearly wanted to shag. Before breakfast he said "I must be hungry, you're beginning to look edible". What a twunt.)
( manwithunderpantsonhead older than a Time Lord, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 11:22, Reply)

Riding home on the late bus from St Albans a few years back
I was set upon by what I now realise may have been Blazin Squad (5 or 6 pale youths in caps and puffa jackets).
The leader (ie the one up in my face), having attempted to look in my bag (full of work clothes), give me a dead arm (weakest punch ever) and threatening to have his older bruvver come and shoot me (a chin-stroking prospect), told me that I'd better not get cocky (poorly concealed laughter on my part) 'cos he had his bread roll with him.
Fortunately, my stop came up and I had time to ponder the threat of his freshly baked goods on the short walk back to halls.
I think he must have meant brethren - pronounced breddren? - but, when your a skinny, white 14 year old you just sound like a fool (especially if you breddren look like they're ready to rush home for some SunnyD).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 11:19, Reply)

A rather Islamic one.....
I was called 'a bastard son of a noseless goat'
by a decidedly non-Islamic mate of mine.
fuck knows what he's been reading............
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 10:37, Reply)

CRAFT
is a wonderfully useful acronym for that Alzheimers-like condition which troubles most of us after a 'heavy' session or frist thing in the morning, usually while failing to 'add value' to your workplace.

It stands for Can't Remember A Fucking Thing.

In fact it's almost a miracle that I remembered it this morning!
(doctor sideburns, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 10:06, Reply)

Not about body parts or bodily functions or sex . . .
. . . so sorry to disappoint you. Not about disableds either.

"Back of the net" and "8 ball - corner pocket" as expressions of glee at some accomplishment.
(DoctorJ last upset some twat who doesn't like swearing on, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 9:52, Reply)

Couldn't be bothered to read 17 pages of slang
so I apologise in advance if any have been posted before.

Nip 'N' Tuck (my friend invented this to describe a lady who is wearing tight trousers
on a cold day)
Lies like a badly fitted carpet (an estate agent friend uses this)

I am also very fond of Fucknut and arsecandle.
(fifthhorseman, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 9:45, Reply)

Brewstered,
comes from Brewster's Millions, with ace drunkard and crackhead Richard Pryor, meaning rich as fuck. "I'll get 'em in I'm Brewstered".
(mutley, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 9:25, Reply)

Window Licking Good
For when someone is being unbelievably special. They're Window Licking good!!

(You must all know Window Licker right? Those in the "Special" bus" are great at it!)


(hairy_eric, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 9:11, Reply)

sweating like a paedophile raping a trojan.
A nice combination of sweating - "..like a paedophile", "..like a trojan" or "..like a rapist".

sorry to labour the point.
(callipygous everytime I kill a hitchhiker, God masturbates, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 9:10, Reply)

now then
we used 'to badger'...'badgering about' meant to sit about doing nothing in particular...a complete badger/badge replaced 'randomer' in our vocabulary, to describe someone behaving wierdly. e.g. 'did you see that badger dancing rounmd the lampost?'

Inshallah (frest vet slang, below) is an arabic phrase meaning 'Allah willing' or 'Praise Allah'...my mother says it.
(feministpig, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 9:08, Reply)

Paddington Bear.
From the song "Lady Marmalade", it implies a hot chick.

you know, paddington bear likes marmalade
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 8:39, Reply)