Gay...
as a doily.
(cowsgo, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 22:19, Reply)

My-schoolspeak
I hear a ton of people saying the old standby "Cha?" , but it's used more like "WHAAAAAT DID YOU SAY!!!???!!!" and pronounced "Qwuuuu-chwaaaa!" like really dumbly. My dad's consulting buisness has a guy named Rod who works there (Oh yes, ROD. Oh, how odd and phallic) who says "Spongerot?" instead of gossip. Weird old soul.
(number 27-hunter, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 22:18, Reply)

Bog roll
Or Poo Tickets as my better half calls them!!
(*diablo_gem*, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 22:04, Reply)

We came up with this today...
...playing Worms World Party in the common room...

"Stairful..." a mixture of "steady" and "careful", which we like shouting at people when they're trying to trash you... oh, and "DON'T FUCK UP!"... That one's always good...
(Fido Dido, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 21:42, Reply)

REPLY
Knuckles - the act of slamming each others' fists onto each other's fists. I'm not sure of how you win it but it's very difficult. And stuff.

... gah, I really need to think of an idea for this contest. A GOOD one, instead of my usual tripe...
(Lupustheflyingdog, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 21:40, Reply)

You buckle like a belt.
For someone who gives in easily (like BadWife!)

What the badgery fuck
and
What in the name of Greek Buggery...
both exclamations of shock

ultimate swearwords- reserved for emergencies only...
cuntmuscle
dog's cunt

bum warden- gay man
Indigo girl- lesbian- after the popular lesbo combo
Birkenstock brigade- similar

Good name for a lady's parts-"Mrs Harris" - no logical reason

Liaising is the main word in use in meetings right now. I don't do it because I'm not a liaisbian.
(BadKittyDirtyKitty, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 21:06, Reply)

chb
"cum hungry bitch", as in "woar, look at her the chb". Also funny when driving through Central Hawkes Bay laughing at the signs e.g. chb district council etc.
(bungbung, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 21:00, Reply)

Someone who's disorganised
I refer to with "Couldn't Organise a titwank in a brothel"

Clunge - mixture of cunt and flange

rem - he's a bit of a rem, taken from remedial
(*diablo_gem*, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 20:59, Reply)

'Spidge'
Spidge :: chuddy
chuddy :: chewing gum
Spice :: sweets
Crimp a length out :: drop the kids off at the pool
drop the kids off at the pool :: turd
choke the chicken :: have a tug
have a tug :: pull one off
pull one off :: wank
spuzz :: man milk ("to spray one's spuzz")
what you sayin'? :: how are you
scrimpin' :: not good
jestin' :: joking
blowin chunks :: being sick
drain the main vein :: piss
wreaks :: smells
(frankyfourfingers, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 20:46, Reply)

many interesting slang words
apparently my friends came back from tenerife, and the men there slapped their asses (as well as other girls) followed by shouting the phrase 'whooopah!' which means something like suprise. needless to say ive been trying a lot over here, although they slap my face back rather than my arse.

another word in full use is panda, from the south park episode where they used the phrase 'sexual harrasment panda' - it has come to represent anything of sexual credibility OR deviancy. i.e. that girl was a sexual panda, phwoar.

the thing im using at the moment is the word cheese, which i guarantee will lift any conversation. you laugh but i tried it and you always get a response. especially in a quiet moment.

there is a lot of american slang at college now, people talkin like rap stars, as well as a lot of l33t and net speak - people actually starting to say LOL instead of laughing properly and pwned everytime they get one over on someone.
(Mr Potatohead, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 20:25, Reply)

scummers anyone?
as well as callin em townies etc, i call the particularly nasty ones "scummers" and since my school os based next to one of the worst estates in England, i see a fair few...

also, as they enjoy abbreviating words into unrecognisable phrases, how bouts "shup-ya-gay" for a phrase of the moment. they also like the word 'rush' at the moment eg "im gonna rush you tonight!" and 'boo' as in "yeah, that be boo!"
they are like a lesser evolved species, its so sad... but they keep us entertained all the same!
(NeZ, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 20:22, Reply)

some more slang...
sorry, also forgot this little gem,

HBS means Hungry Bum Syndrome, where your pants ride up your crack - that always amuses me
(*diablo_gem*, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 20:16, Reply)

worryingly
i have been overusing the phrase "WOO!" (often shouted loudly accompanied by a mockery of the first and little finger gesture with both hands) as a celabratory expression. the use of "Woo!" has caught on with my non b3tan friends too. On a similar note, something that is extremely dull is described as "wooyaynessless"

Also, a ladies bits are known as her "birthday cake" and since a friend overheard someone sleeptalking (i quote: "i'll do the washing up when i've finished masturbating") playing with yourself has been known as "washing up".

Not slang, but my sister still said "splitting image" and "taken for grantage" at the age of 17.
(hingesII, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 20:16, Reply)

some slang of doom
I know a few people who use the word "tonk" to mean beefed-up and harcore, ie Arnold Schwartzanegger is tonk.

Also loads of kids round here use the word "bare" to mean loads of, ie I've got bare money meaning I'm loaded.

I think they're tw*ts.
(*diablo_gem*, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 20:14, Reply)

The Judeo-Christian tradition...
Seems to play a big part in my current selection of expletives.

"Sweet baby Moses in a bulrush basket!..." - a good one for when a situation is so surprising that other words fail you.

"Jesus suffering FUCK..." - useful for similar situations which actually require profanity.

"Skin chimney" - um. Ladybits. You know. Down there. [blush]

"Change at Baker Street" - to make the transition from the pink line to the brown one. Or from the skin chimney to the Hershey highway.

"What the yellow rubbery ARSE is going on here?" - splendid, if blatantly stolen from Stephen Fry. But it has a mellifluity all its own.

Then there are the legions of examples from management NewSpeak. My favourite is the euphemism "Sub-optimal", as in "this department is performing sub-optimally". It really means, "this department is abject shite, and everyone working in it is a shit-brained, mong-fucking oxygen thief who should be sacked immediately".
(Lapsed Pacifist, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 20:11, Reply)

In Scotland...
particularly Glasgow, but also now in the rest of the country, chavs are mainly known as neds - Non Educated Delinquents.

Go to www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk for a full guide to neds.
(cybersquatter_, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 19:51, Reply)

The Good 'Ole Days
When I was a youngster and at school (zzzzzzzz - zzzzzzzz) we would have 'duffed' someone up or 'kicked their arse' or perhaps 'beaten them up', although when I heard one of my kids come back home and say that he had 'twatted' a kid I first thought he had lost his cherry (!). However, I understand (?) it actually means to have thumped someone.
Oh to regain one's youth.
(Heraclitus, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 19:47, Reply)

ABS
Aching Bollock Syndrome. That horrid dull ache that stays with you for ages after a particularly 'active' day.

Another one I like is 'mad as a sack of kittens'

also 'shite & onions' used as an expression of exasperation and 'scary biscuits' meaning exactly the same as scary, just with added biscuity goodness.

Oh yeah, me and my mates refer to townie/chavs/pikeys as skippies which i kinda like :/
(Arnolfini wasn't feeling very funny on, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 19:27, Reply)

To be honest....
Yeah, some people around college have started saying tbh (as in 'tee-bee-aych').
This internet is gonna kill us all i say.

also 'lol' but thats been mentioned loads of times
( tico, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 18:53, Reply)

Thick shit
aparently means its good, i overheard a young lad the other day saying to his mate "I watched spiderman last night, it was some thick shit man"
(noah472, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 18:51, Reply)

townie types
I've noticed a lot of the chav scum in Luton saying "Standard!" As in "init blud.. STANDARD!"
I have no idea what this means.
(kimothy, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 18:47, Reply)

Here's one from the interweb
Smacktard: the multi-purpose term used in gaming circles by the sane minority to describe the vast army of idiots who play multiplayer games (mostly first person shooters) and do all kinds of moronic things.

Such as?

Such as driving vehicles into the sea, blowing away members of your own team for no reason whatsoever, parking a large powerful vehicle, such as a tank, next to one of those places where people who've died spawn back in, and killing them before they even know where they are, much less have a chance to fight back.

Then there are those who use those cheat programs that make them impervious to all damage, 100% accurate, really really fast, or generally give them a superhuman advantage, regardless of game settings.

It would seem, as I mentioned, that the gaming community is FULL of these idiots.

And people wonder why I don't play online.
(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 18:23, Reply)

I dunno if these are used anywhere else
Wibble = talk nonsense/blether
He/she is a sandwich short of a picnic = a thick person
Primp, primping = amazing amounts of hair tweaking by vain people
Blonde with a bubble pipe = thick but possibly special needs
Laid a blocker = dropped a turd that just wont flush away
(Bus Turd, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 18:22, Reply)

In response to an earlier question
"flip reverse it" is coercing a girl into taking it in the exhaust pipe - referenced in the Blazing Squad song. Load of untalented prepubescent twunts.

Recently, amongst us non-twats, it's become a hobby to approach townies, scream "BLAZIN BLAZIN BLAZIN!!" Just to see their response
(ProudClod, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 18:16, Reply)

They All Go Round
In a circle, cool words in the playgrounds do. "Cushdy" from Only Fools N Horses seems a popular one right now. Scary one's got to be "LOL" actually sounding the letters, had our Home Eccies teacher saying that we did.
(Vic - If I Forget This Name I'm Fucked, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 17:48, Reply)

Kent is officially Pikey Country!
Having recently moved down from North London so far I can work out that:

That's kaka my chavvie = Bad
That's pukka my chavvie = Good

Are you slagging my chavs? = Are you suggesting my children are ill behaved

It's odd cos they speak with the same accent but it's a different language.
( heymister, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 17:27, Reply)

RE: Pikey Mutterings...
I'm from Kent and as far as I know there aren't any Scottish links - just loads of pikeys!
(Modster2k, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 17:06, Reply)

Special
If you said something particularly stupid, you would be asked, in the tone of voice that you would talk to a very young child in "are you special? did you go to a special school for special people"

Most effective when the person it is aimed at doesn't quite understand, and actually thinks that you are being nice.
(ricky_darkholer is blonde on the inside, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 17:03, Reply)

Think outside of the box
is a favourite one with my old manager, who told us that we don't encounter problems at work, they are "challenges"

I use "haven't got a scooby" fairly regularly (scooby doo = clue), although my cousin also used this when he was broke.

An ex of mine (who was a woolyback) would announce that he was off to give birth to a scouser when going to the loo.

A friend on holiday told me that she would have a bit if kipeye when we returned to the apartment - used by us ever since to refer to having a nap/sleeping

Courtesy of PopBitch:

chazbaps - someone who has allowed another person to partake of drugs from their breasts

and my fave - pramface - someone who looks as though they should be a teenager pushing a pram on a council estate. Girls Aloud & Charlotte Church spring to mind.


(first post, apologies for the length)
(ricky_darkholer is blonde on the inside, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 16:59, Reply)

OK, this one is about
breasts: mams (short for mammary glands).
(DoctorJ last upset some twat who doesn't like swearing on, Wed 4 Feb 2004, 16:57, Reply)