The South West is lovely
and very nice to visit. By South most of us mean South East - kent accents/essex accents/surrey/guildford etc

That's why we dislike it... Although there are lovely parts too.

Although there is no excuse for caravanners.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 15:22, Reply)

Disasterprone
Anything to keep me away from those gritty northeners.
Tell me, do you still have outside toilets there?
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 15:21, Reply)

Riddle me this.....
if northerners prefer the north, why do they insist on coming to the South West to clog up the roads, and fill the sea during the summer?

with their caravans, and jack russells

hateful creatures
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 15:20, Reply)

Being in a 60 mile radius of London
means you have a love of the smell of piss, pollution, lefty twats, crap scenery, inflated prices and Guardian reading anti-fun cunts.

And dislike nice scenery.

Although it's doubtful you fuck your relatives (but that's more the East)
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 15:17, Reply)

Let's be honest....
you could draw a circle 60 miles radius out of London and disregard anything in the UK that fell outside of it without really noticing any change.
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 15:14, Reply)

On a hill
I once woke up on a hill with these weird numbers written on my arm. Then this giant bunny rabbit showed up and a jet engine fell from the sky. It was all a bit odd and no one really knew what was going on.

Donnie
( Regger, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 15:13, Reply)

The best thing about the South
is that it insulates the North from France and illegal immigrants.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 15:10, Reply)

Its such a cliché
That soft southern puff thing.
The only good things about the north are the southbound carriageway of the M1, and M6.
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 15:08, Reply)

Nowt wrong with being Northern
you soft Southern puff. I'm also Northern.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 15:06, Reply)

rachelswipe.
So you're a northener then? My sincerest condolences. I have some stairs in my house if you'd like to go to the foot of them? ;-)
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 15:00, Reply)

swipe
just be offended by it all!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:55, Reply)

the name won't
she will...


tips from mum
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:55, Reply)

i don't know
whether to be more offended that anyone would (i) call me a tart from chavdom; (ii) think that comment referred to me; or (iii) accuse me of coming from uxbridge.

UXBRIDGE!!

i *just* work here. i do not live here. i was not hatched here. i am definitely not from here. i am a bona fide northerner from god's own country! but we've had that north-v-south debate.

whoredan, on the other hand, is from essex or somewhere down south i think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:54, Reply)

Princess Fucking Hell?
That's not going to go down well at the primary school she spends her first 20 years attending...

.. or maybe it is.
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:45, Reply)

although what she can do with a pineapple
has to be seen to be believed!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:40, Reply)

Jordan
This could be the first time anyone has googled Jordan for non grot purposes. Sick & twisted niche grot I grant you.
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:39, Reply)

Who cares where Jordan's from
Just stay away from where she is now!

Calling her kid Princess, fucking hell...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:38, Reply)

Abe
You may be right...

I feel dumber than Happy Gilmour
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:36, Reply)

The Sausage King of Chicago is confusing me...
Did I make a faux pas in my previous posting?
Where *is* Jordan from?
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:36, Reply)

Rswipe
Er I think he meant where's Jordan from not rswipe!
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:34, Reply)

Uxbridge?
Nice. I bet she was the classiest girl in her school year. (Only 2 abortions)
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:32, Reply)

Her neighbours
kids are called Johnson Smith and Fletcher-Brown Anderson

My folks told me never to trust anyone with reversible names
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:30, Reply)

Uxbridge
And she's a £200 an hour tart...

I love her though!

Well, I say love...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:28, Reply)

rachelswipe.
She's a tuppenybit tart from the heart of Chavdom. What else did you expect?

Incidentally where is the old slag from?

Her eldest is the product of a liason between her and Dwight Yorke. Obviously with parents like this the poor kid had no chance, and she named him Harvey? What is this craze the chavs have with giving their kids surnames as christian names? Bizarre if you ask me.
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:18, Reply)

jordan's comment
Old joke alert:

Well rumour has it that Gareth Gates was practicing the withdrawal method but got stuck with "I'm c-c-c-c-c-c-c.... I'm c-c-c-c-c-c.... I'm c-c-c-c-c-c... Oops!"

As for la Jordan, she's the total reverse of all I find attractive in women-kind.

She's gobby, has more plastic bodywork than KITT and if brains were dynamite she'd struggle to blow her hat off. Plus I strongly suspect that she is in possession of a Wizard's Cuff.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:15, Reply)

jordan's comment
that when, at 9 months pregnant, she had sex with the f-f-foetus that was gareth gates, he would have been "tickling the baby's head" is the most disgusting thing i have ever heard.

discuss.

also explains a LOT about why harvey turned out the way he did... poor kid.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:09, Reply)

Allow me to play a strong suit
with the Reynolds Girls
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:09, Reply)

Disasterprone
I'll raise you your duet, with Brother Beyond
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:05, Reply)

Jordan is Minging (discuss)
I think we could get a QOTW out of that phrase alone.
She has no discernable talent other than sleeping with footballers, has a revolting physique which she has subjected to too many surgical procedures over the years, and cannot string a coherent sentence together, (as anyone who has read her autobiography can attest)
Peter André is nothing but an antipodean dildo for her.
As Frankspencer says they are both zillionaires, although we've no real understanding as to why, and yet they arent worthy to clean the smegma out of our collective bellends with a teaspoon.
Cunts
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 14:04, Reply)